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Reviews
Portals (2019)
Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen
I join the other negative reviews. If I could give negative stars I would. The movie is just plain incomprehensible. There is no discernible plot, and no guidance to the viewer as to what to make of the different episodes. The viewer asks "are they connected somehow"? "Am I supposed to discern a connection"? No plot development accounts for the apparent living dead zombie creatures, and it is totally implausible that these two hysterical women would be able to destroy these creatures.
Some movies are campy bad, such as "Plan 9 From Outer Space," which at least is amusing to watch. "Portals" has no redeeming quality whatsoever.
The Phantom Empire (1987)
Evaluate it for what it is
OK, so it's not Lawrence of Arabia. It's also not the absolutely terrible "Cleopatra" with Liz and Dick either. There are awful movies which are unwatchable and awful movies which are eminently watchable, and this is one of the latter. And lest you think I have no standards, I'm perfectly willing to put "Robot Monster" in the category of an awful movie that is utterly unwatchable.
If you like cheesy fun that doesn't take itself seriously at all, and in fact is a parody of itself, then sit back with some popcorn and have a good time. And besides, it takes a certain quirky sense of humor to pair a wannabe Robby the Robot with Sybil Danning as an alien queen.