duaneshouseofpizza Reviews

Lorca and the Outlaws (1984)

Ummm....what? Come again?

[1/10 · 25 April 2004]

This movie is pointless...some of my friends and I had a Crappy sci-fi movie party and this was by far the worst. I looked amazing on the package. But it is possibly the most boring thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life...

It made me Physically Ill having to sit though this after ten hours of other horrid Sci-Fi trash such as Abraxas and Star Crash.

There was huge mining trucks...and weird robots wearing football helmets wielding M-16s that I called OJ Simpson robots. But this was just the most lifeless and horrid drivel in the world.

This is actually, the worst movie I have ever seen...no exageration...by far the worst.

Moving (1988)

THE BEST!

[10/10 · 21 April 2002]

Spoiler Alert!...sort of.

This movie rules. Richard Pryor Just goes nuts because he gets taken advantage of by moving men and his boss. A zany must see movie! And He kicks King Kong Bundy (wrestler from the eighties) in the nuts by doing a cartwheel! AMAZING!!!

Braindead (1992)

Most amazing thing i have ever seen. Seriously.

[10/10 · 17 April 2002]

this is the goriest movie I have ever seen. This movie is a horror-comedy along the lines of evil dead...just better in my opinion. It's way funnier and way gorier. the character of Lionel is the best part of the movie though. He's a sissy momma's boy until he has to brutally mangle zombies to save his and his girlfriend's life. this film is simply brilliant. there are some really sick parts though. which is alright. This is so good because like evil dead, It's not trying to be serious at all. Serious horror movies are a crock In my opinion, they're never scary and never fun...(well sometimes if they're laughably bad.) Peter Jackson is an amazing director too! It even shows here!

Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)

Horrible movie... Horrible story...oh my.

[1/10 · 15 April 2002]

---WARNING--- ---SPOILER ALERT!--- This movie is horrible. not only horrible...it sucks. The death scenes suck so bad. One second the people are alive..the next...their head is on the ground. What the heck is this crap? I'll tell you. A waste of money any way you slice it. rent or buy it's not worth it. except for when the midget gets axed in the mellon or when Arabula(arab-dracula) Shoots that stupid hippy with his ring.

Now the biggest upset of the film. I thought Dracula and Frankenstein would actually possibly be the stars of this movie (but it's these stupid hippies) and fight for like half an hour or something...Boy was I ever wrong. they fight for 3 minutes in a forest and it's so predictible what's going to happen its annoying. The sun is coming up and the Monster doesn't want drac to kill the girl (who sucks by the way) so he puts up a fight. next thing you know they're in the woods "fighting" or in other words grabbing each other and hurling their bodies around. The lighting in this scene sucks so bad the DP is probably living in a cardboard box now. anyhow, Dracula rips frank's head off (cheesy) and as he's running back to the castle, the sun kills him and turns him into a skull with gray hair. It pissed me off so bad that I spent so much money on this movie... now I think I may go kill myself or something.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

sad. very sad.

[10/10 · 11 February 2002]

all i can say is that this movie is crap. they changed their turtle costumes...and also their attitudes....and not to mention the entire story line. ICKY POO. There isn't much for anyone to like. Little kids won't even like this mockery.

Nickelodeon Arcade (1992–1997)

Excellent...but why not just play games yourself?

[27 January 2002]

This show consisted of kids playing videogames to score points...the team with the most points got to go inside a videogame. the "game" they went in side was a lame boring game where the kids would hit "orbs" to kill the monster guardian. I think it was made from the same technology as weatherpeople's maps. The reason i loved it was because I used to laugh at how pitiful the kids were at videogames. It made me feel good about how good I was at videogames.

Breathing Fire (1991)

Amazing action...Crappy acting.

[10/10 · 27 January 2002]

I watch this movie every weekend because of the sheer humorous acting and the brutal fighting. the fighting is alot better than most recent movies...but, story cannot play out correctly due to really bad acting. I bought this movie is cheap and it's possibly the greatest 5 bucks I've ever spent. There are some scenes where I'll just break out and laugh at because Data from "The Goonies" (Jonathon ke quan) beats the tar out of a 300 lb muscle man. If's you find this movie,by all means buy it. It's one of the funniest movies i've ever seen...sadly, it isn't supposed to be.

Breathing Fire (1991)

Amazing action...Crappy acting.

[10/10 · 27 January 2002]

I watch this movie every weekend because of the sheer humorous acting and the brutal fighting. the fighting is alot better than most recent movies...but, story cannot play out correctly due to really bad acting. I bought this movie for $5 on DVD at K-mart and it's possibly the greatest 5 bucks I've ever spent. There are some scenes where I'll just break out and laugh at because Data from "The Goonies" (Jonathon ke quan) beats the tar out of a 300 lb muscle man. If's you find this movie,by all means buy it. It's one of the funniest movies i've ever seen...sadly, it isn't supposed to be.

Salute Your Shorts (1991–1992)

Great show

[27 January 2002]

A very fun show about kids at summer camp. I watched this show when I was in 1st and 2nd grade everyday after school. It's too bad shows like this are the ones that get canned right away. Bobby Budnik was my personal hero... maybe that's why I turned out this way? oh well.