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Reviews
Five Blind Dates (2024)
Soooo Slow
I really wanted to like this movie. I just got back from traveling around Australia and I'm a young single female that's struggling to date so I thought this would really connect for me but it fell so flat. There are so cute and funny moments but for the most part this movie draggggs on soooo slowly with so much of it being unimportant. None of the characters are likable at all; they're all petty, immature, self centered, weird, awkward, pushy, whiney, and unauthentic. No one seems to learn any lessons to make them better people.to be honest I kept wanting to give up on watching it but I decided to finish it and still don't feel like it's worth it.
Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck (2007)
Shockingly bad
This story and the victims deserved so much better than this film. The story line jumps around without any regard for fitting the pieces together. You get small glimpses of his childhood, marriage and previous criminal behavior without ever following through and finishing connecting to why we're being shown that. The acting is absolutely terrible, the actors look nothing like the people they're portraying, the "dorm" where the murders were committed looks nothing like the true location and worst of all is the movie isn't even that accurate. Having spent some time reading up about the events that transpired it's very clear that the movie did not care at all about accuracy. It's very hard to believe that the movie won an award of any kind.
My Sweet Audrina (2016)
Shockingly GREAT
I was locked inside all weekend due to a hurricane and decided to binge all the VC Andrews series on Lifetime. It got to be pretty repetitive with similar story lines, twists, incest, poverty, rich family member dying etc. And then I got to My Sweet Audrina! I almost missed it because it's older and not a series but a stand alone but my god it was the best! It's pretty rare for me these days in my movie binging madness to find a film that keeps me off my phone, fully engaged, on the edge my seat, and wondering who/what/where/when/why! In fact I normally have the whole plot figured out but not with this. But along with an interesting and really originally story line, you have great actors! I fell in love with James Tupper in the Revenge series years ago, which is always a go to rewatch for me. As well as William Moseley in The Royals, which was canceled way too soon. India Eisley was unfamiliar to me but I could see her having a fantastic career if given the right opportunities. In my opinion this is one of the over all best films I've seen in years and it's a quick, easy watch without getting dragged out unnecessarily.
The Honeymoon (2022)
Painfully annoying
If you're anything like me, and you spend your days frustrated by the stupidity of other people and their selfishness then do yourself a favor and avoid this movie at all costs. The friend character of Dev is the epitome of everything we hate in people and the world. I actually find myself hoping he would be killed off in the movie. There is absolutely nothing funny about his character or his friendship with Adam and the way Adam puts Dev before his wife and risks her happiness, life and safety just makes it all worse. Once again I find myself hoping she ends up with the bad guy, who actually puts her first.
Shotgun Wedding (2022)
I should have believed the reviews
Omfg this movie is so bad. I forgot how truly terrible JLO movies are, which is a shame because she isn't a bad actress. It's soooo slow, like it doesn't get started until 35 minutes in and by then you're so dreadfully bored and annoyed that you're over it. The whole thing plays out like a bad, low budget high-school play, written by a student. It's suppose to be a cute, playful, slapstick comedy but things just don't make sense and are very annoying. I find myself saying "just shut up." Overall, I'm very disappointed with such an all star cast. You would really imagine this would've been halfway or at least somewhat decent, but it really really isn't. Thank God I didn't pay for it, or I'd be asking for a refund.
Master (2022)
It was so close to being a good movie
This movie starts off so wonderfully, trips, gets back up, trips again and then just throws in the towel. I was hooked almost immediately, I love the use of horror to parallel the story of racism. It definitely had a similar vibe to "Get Out" but with a younger demographic in college when you're already struggling enough to find your place. However, the movie started branching out onto too many separate paths and never actually going back to answer lingering questions. What really did kill Jasmin? Was Amelia actually raped? Is Liv truly black fishing? What was the point to a focus on previous victims and a haunting if that was just completely dropped from the story line? It just felt as if the writer was trying to do too much and didn't have a clear vision which left the viewer with lingering questions.
Sprite Sisters - Vier zauberhafte Schwestern (2020)
Don't waste your time
Once again my paid Peacock subscription has failed me. I love a good magic movie and this couldn't be a bigger miss. I honestly gave up 15 minutes into watching because I couldn't bare to torture myself any further. I believe this is originally a Dutch movie and while I'm not new to dubbed movies, but this is the worst I've ever seen. And while that isn't enough to make me stop watching the VOICES that chose for the English/American version are down right horrific. They are shrill and squeaky and make you want to cry. I can't imagine how anyone on the production team thought this was okay to put out for public consumption.
Unplugging (2022)
I wanted to Unplug my tv
This is the worst movie I've seen in years. I don't know who wrote it but I hope they find a new job. It's bizarre, neurotic, annoying, and just down right bad. I feel terrible that Eva Longoria was even in this movie. I can't imagine anyone that would want to watch a movie about an ugly, annoying, loser husband that some how got a beautiful, hardworking wife who he then traps in the barren wilderness to teach her some sort of lesson. I wanted to turn it off half way through but sadly I'm one of those people that commit to finishing a movie once I start it, unfortunately there was no redemption for the sad sack of a film. The only thing worse than the movie itself was the incredibly awkward and inappropriate sexual scenes that added absolutely nothing to the film but only subtracted the watcher to feelings of discomfort.
The Lost Girls (2022)
Not worth your time
I had a lot of hope for this movie but it fell so flat. The idea of a Peter Pan adaptation surrounding the Darling women in a world with sooo many version of Peter Pan is truly a good one, too bad this is more damaging than anything else. It was okay until "adult" Wendy showed up, with her weird Italian accent and a portrayal of a cold, heartless, workaholic mother who hates her own child, her own husband, her own father, her own mother and only loves the idea of Peter and obsesses over him to the point of psychosis. But the actress isn't the only one to blame, the way the timeline hops around is bizarre.
Broken Soldier (2022)
Most People Won't Understand
It's not shocking that the majority of viewers don't understand this movie, it's honestly dark and genius. You need to have a deep resignation with selflessness, self-loathing, love and depression to truly grasp what's happening as the movie unfolds. This soldier hates himself, hates that he's alive, hates the things he's seen and gone through. He starts falling for an underage girl because he sees her as pure and doesn't want to ruin that, in fact he wants to protect her with everything he has left. He turns to a prostitute because like everyone he has carnal needs that she can fulfill but she falls for him because unlike the usual cheating, abusive, dirt, pathetic johns she's used to, she can tell he's different and that he struggles with similar internal feelings as her own. Jealousy rams rampant in every character of this story and to be honest there needs to be more character background or development to give a more well rounded vision to viewers. Ultimately the meaning of the ending is that while the father was prepared to kill the man for not loving his daughter and feeling he's taken advantage of her, he realizes that the man's willingness to die for her better good is actually a true indication of how much he does love her and how good he is. The man then decides to take his own life, saying "you're welcome" to the father before jumping from the building to signify that he knows he will never be good enough for her, that there is no changing that and in order for her to move on he has to die, but he's willing to take his own life to save the relationship between father and daughter because she would never forgive him if he killed the man she loves.