shuswap-83557 Reviews

Atlas (2024)

JLo Is Terrible... Movie is Terrible too

[2/10 · 25 May 2024]

The AI and JLo are so annoying. Whoever wrote the script is clueless. They should have used an AI program to write the story because this one is as dumb as it gets. I'm trying to think of anything redeeming about this mess. The CGI isn't great but it's passable as a video game... AI robots try to take over earth in a war similar to the Terminator story franchise. Harlan, the robot leader escapes earth when the rebel AI army begins losing the war. JLo is in charge of a ship sent to a hostile planet to kill Harlan, the leader of the AI rebels. They all die in an ambush when they arrive to the hostile planet, except JLo and her annoying AI robotic pod suit. They argue a lot, as she refuses to learn how her pod works. She doesn't trust the mind sync link... it's complete rubbish dialogue throughout, making the film unwatchable. I highly recommend avoiding this film.

The Whisperer in Darkness (2011)

Low budget Mystery Theatre Quality

[2/10 · 31 August 2023]

All these high ratings are amusing. This film is very talky and super slow pacing. Nothing much happens until the ending. The production come sctoss like a stage play for the most part. I think i had 2 naps and woke up in time to see the final 20 minutes. Yawn. Rather unimpressive. Definitely not the worst HP Lovecraft adaption to screen but definitely one of the most boring horror films I've watched lately. Only for die hard fans with a high tolerance for cheesy micro-budget horror movies. Better to read his books. These just don't translate well on the big screen or on your TV screens. Like an old Twilight Zone espisode that lasts too long to hold your interest. Cured my insomnia problem though.

The Last Push (2012)

The Cheapest 1 Room Drama Play, Sci-Fi Crap Ever

[1/10 · 13 July 2023]

Perhaps the most boring low budget Sci-Fi trek film ever. Basically nothing happens here. A couple of guys sitting in a room talking to themselves or having a poop. You actually are forced to edure this nonsense for 90 minutes. No story. No action. No special effects. Be fascinated watching an astronaut brush his teeth. Be amazed at an astronaut discussing how he poops in space on a zero gravity toilet. You can literally go mad watching the mundane tedium that is this mess made with a 500 dollar budget. You can fast firward this film and it still feels like it's in slow motion. God this is painful. But I digress. Avoid this garbage.

From (2022– )

A Tale of Two Completely Different Seasons

[6/10 · 28 June 2023]

Well Season 1 was really quite good with a great mystery that held my interest. It echoes reminders of the long running tv series Lost but set in a small hamlet off the beaten path along a lost highway. So the acting is great, good character development along with a creepy story of dead ghosts who only come out after dark. The real problem here is when the 2nd season kicks off and you soon realize the writers are out of ideas so they'll just turn the show into a quarrelsome soap opera of bickering villagers. The story devolves into nonsense and not much plot to follow as different folks go through the motions of how to escape their hellish town. And the ending is just a totally cheap copout. You'll be wanting to throw a brick at your TV when you see the last scene. Yikes, it's so poorly done it makes you feel you wasted your time watching the series. Therein lies the rub.

Wednesday (2022– )

Not half Good... Not half Bad

[5/10 · 12 June 2023]

Everything about this production is high end except the inane, silliness of the script and writing. I think this simple, childish story telling most Americans want. Maybe the target audience here is kids. The humor is pretty lame, rather goofy but okay, the TV show was too. Something just too dumbed down about it though. But if you want something mindless and on autopilot with the occasional scare for a twist then here's your cup of tea. It has no charm and makes me appreciate the original cast of zthe Addams Family much more. Obviously my opinion is in the minority so I guess it depends what you're looking for.

Nefarious (2023)

Like Watching Paint Dry but Without Any Paint

[2/10 · 6 June 2023]

So many fake reviews here. Okay, almost the entire film takes place in a room with a killer about to be executed and a psychiatrist having a conversation with sed killer. The killer claims to be a demon and the psychiatrist thinks he's a nut. The killer claims he can make the psychiatrist do his evil bidding outside the prison, by somehow possessing his mind and willpower. In order for such a low budget film to work it needs A a great script and B really good actors. The actors here are just average or below average if I'm honest about the serial killer's skills to do convincing drama. The script is really dull and the dialogue gets cumbersome fast. I tried to fast forward to something with a bit of action but it's all pretty much a dud from the start with nobody to care about. Avoid this mess or be prepared to be bored out of your mind.

The Son (I) (2022)

Sad Tale of a Broken Kid

[6/10 · 27 May 2023]

Overall well done yet depressing film about a kid with mental issues from dealing with his parent's marriage breakup. All the actors were excellent excellent for the teen who was below average, especially when he was crying and stressed out. You may come away feeling a connection to this story and you may feel it's true to life and hits a nerve about how families deal with dysfunction and toxic parental relationships. For sure you'll feel sad and depressed at the final scenes. The story could have had a little more depth and perhaps something more with the school life. But the kid had no friends or girlfriend so completely anti social. Could've been written better.

Medusa (IV) (2015)

I'd rather be turned to stone than watch this

[1/10 · 26 May 2023]

There's a lot of fake reviews here. As soon as the film starts you'll see how bad the acting is. The actors actually become worse as the film progresses, which is Miraculous in and of itself. You can pluck people randomly off the street and they'd do a much better job of acting than anyone in this film. As for the story it's really really really boring. As for the the film's highlights there's really none to speak of. This is a cheap mess with zero redeeming value. You have incredible intestinal fortitude if you can watch this piece of trash to the bitter end. You're a person with very low standards if you liked this junk.

Chapelwaite (2021–2023)

An exceptional Jerusalem's Lot

[9/10 · 24 April 2023]

This may be the best Stephen King adaption to film I've ever seen. Adrian Brody is excellent as the young Boone returned to his uncle's home to Chapelwaite with his 2 children looking for a fresh start after years as a whaler. Every scene in this series is top production. It's eerie and spooky and downright brooding. The cinematography is absolutely brilliant. The story is suspenseful and holds your attention throughout the 10 episodes. If you liked the short story you will absolutely love this mini series from beginning to end. It's perfect, and I very rarely say that about any Film or series. Enjoy the show.

65 (2023)

Good Special Effects Wasted on a Bad Script

[2/10 · 9 April 2023]

The only way this can be made watchable is to edit it down to a 60 minutes Outer Limits or Twilight Zone episode. The story had potential but is incomprehensibly weak and it boggles the mind that this mess of a film got released at all. Adam Driver is completely miscast in this role as he has little to say based on the fact there's only two characters and they barely understand each other due to the language barrier between them. The kid exists in this story only to give Driver a Last Action Hero role. It's all so cheap and cheesy and not entertaining in the least. The cinematography is good. Everything else about this film is bad.

American Woman (2018)

This movie is sad and authentic. Hits a nerve

[9/10 · 8 April 2023]

Watch this film just for Siena. She is amazing and deserves an Oscar for this performance as a single mom looking after her adult daughter and grandchild. A raw emotional nightmare of a tragedy in broken American society. One of those stories that you don't forget haunts you long after it's over. It's uncomfortable and difficult to watch and yet totally immersive and won't let you off the hook until it's over. A must see film of dramatic reflection on a mother's worst fear. The American dream is in reality a depressing cycle of violence and monotony with rarely any hope of happiness in these blue collar dead end Midwest towns. Places you are happy to escape from when you're old enough to leave one day.

The Last of Us (2023– )

Hope the game isn't this boring.

[4/10 · 7 April 2023]

I don't understand the love for this series unless you like cocky smart-mouth teens and dull dialogue. At least the zombies move fast which is a great improvement over the zombies in the walking dead franchise. This show doesn't have anything original to offer but there's some nice shots of Bragg creek in and around Calgary Alberta. Maybe the kid is just too annoying for me but I don't like her character much so that just makes this series difficult to watch. This is especially straining because there's really very few actors in this series to watch. It's so slow like a high school play production with 10 players. Not recommended.

Boston Strangler (2023)

Never make the Protagonist a Background Character

[3/10 · 20 March 2023]

This seems to be a new thing in Hollywood these days. They did it with the remake of Bonnie & Clyde. They make the Main character a background character to the reporters or the cops chasing them. Completely boring way to tell a story if you Sk me. Maybe you're interested in the personal lives of reporters and cops but honestly their lives are pretty dull compared to the people who inspired the story. The criminals are the interesting characters I want to see. Like in the 1968 Boston Strangler movie, it's Tony Curtis as Albert DeSalvo who steals the show. Plus you're seeing him do his crimes which is fascinating drama. With this version, you don't see much more than the newspaper room and the that's really boring.

A Girl and an Astronaut (2023)

Really Not a Science Fiction Show

[3/10 · 23 February 2023]

This show is basically just a polish night time soap opera. The story is weak. The dialogue is weak. The acting is decent. Good cinematography all around. Basically it's just about people looking for sex at dance clubs. The spy thriller element makes no sense so it's just filler I guess. I give it 3 stars for the dance club music and a few other good songs and some good passionate love scenes between girls and astronauts, I guess. I mean that's probably the plot line. Girls who like astronauts and like dancing and then after go somewhere for sex. I believe that's the main idea behind this show.

The Man from Earth (2007)

Great script that falls flat due to weak actors

[7/10 · 16 January 2023]

This is a cabin play and the script is top notch. I'd love to see this story redone with a better cast of actors. It could be a real masterpiece with a higher budget and production values. To pull off a great play you need the best thespian performances. That being said, this film is worth a watch. A thoroughly entertaining and original tale with a built in history lesson. If you need action then you'll be sorely disappointed here. This movie is about a message of Existentialism and the need to believe in good old fashioned campfire stories because one's ideolological foundation is never as solid as it seems when a familiar sounding stranger's web of mystery is thrown into the works.

The Old Way (2023)

A Script likely written by a 10 year old kid

[1/10 · 13 January 2023]

This film is abysmal on almost every level. The story is so silly and clichéd that it's laughably unentertaining. The acting is more wooden than a barn door and that includes Nick Cage who gives us one of the worst performances of his storied career. Wow it's bewildering how this junk even made it past the drawing board. It's like a bunch of people who know nothing about making movies got together and said, let's do a Clint Eastwood western just as a joke. The only redeeming factor here might be the sets and the sound which were adequate. I can't see any point in watching this turd except for perhaps a couple of scenes where Cage goes into an emotional outburst and demonstrates his ability to do dramatic crying in his usual cringeworthy style. Watching his routine only makes one appreciate real class acts like Gary Cooper from those bygone days when they knew how to do western movies worth remembering.

Black Adam (2022)

Good Effects Ruined By Very Weak Plot

[2/10 · 31 December 2022]

The Black Adam character has the powers of Superman with the only difference being he has no problem killing bad guys. The rest of the justice league superheroes are like comic relief except for Dr. Fate... the screenplay was likely written by video gamer kids because it's utterly boring and shockingly stupid. Not much else to say other than the CGI is decent but wasted on the banal and pointlessly uninteresting storyline. You can't blame The Rock because he plays his part just fine. It's entirely the fault of the writers. Honestly I can't fathom why Hollywood doesn't hire people with an imagination to write an original or intelligent story.

Mindcage (2022)

Silence of the Lambs reboot on a 10K Budget

[2/10 · 17 December 2022]

This movie is a cheap ripoff of SOTL complete with laughably bad script and bad acting all around. I kinda knew this going in but I watched it because I thought it would be good for a laugh, kinda like when I watch a Nick Cage movie. But unfortunately this movie is basically just a dud and not even a So bad it's good movie. Even John Malkovich does a rather humdrum job of portraying a crazed serial killer. The entire project is so amateurishly done that its hard to believe it ever got finished. Any producer should have put this thing out of it's misery early on as it comes across like a high school project by clueless wannabe actors and production people. A very disappointing dumb waste of time.

Bones and All (2022)

A really lousy Natural Born Killers vampire flick

[1/10 · 13 December 2022]

This movie is likely the most boring and pointless vampire road trip movie ever made. It's impossible to like or care about these teenage bloodsuckers and their coming of age tale. This should get a raspberry award for worst movie and dumbest screenplay and biggest waste of 2 hours of your life prize. It has no redeeming value whatsoever and you'll hate yourself for watching this drivel until the final boring ending. There's a good couple of songs in the movie so okay, there's that... a couple of good tracks... I can't think of anything else positive to say about this cruddy junk garbage dull boring useless movie.

Risen (2021)

Nice Try but Ruined by Slow Pacing

[4/10 · 13 December 2022]

This style of science fiction film is generally going to get roasted by critics due to it's incredibly slow pacing. It plays out like a dream sequence with some scenes that move so slow you'll be checking your TV remote control to see if the movie was set to Pause mode. There's actually some great visuals here and considering the budget, that was well done. But this is far from being an action film. It's a cerebral take on War of The Worlds.. the first half of the film plods along so slowly it's painful. The 2nd half of the film isn't bad at all. So if edited properly this would make a fine 60 minute Twilight Zone episode. But at 1 hour and 49 minutes in length it's just a real drag, unfortunately.

The Peripheral (2022)

Really Convoluted, Poorly Constructed Sci-Fi

[4/10 · 26 November 2022]

The first episode was interesting though confusing, which of fine if you actually develop a story that makes sense by episode 3 or 4. But I'm 7 episodes deep and the story is really just not engaging due to confusing plot lines and dull characters that walk about looking just as confused as we people watching the show plod along. Hopefully the last episode ties things together a bit better because this feels like another Matrix rip-off on cheap drugs.. high praise to the actors who all do an admirable job and the virtual world set and effects are respectable too. But really this story is a mess. It's all over the place and impossible to follow certain characters motives or allegiances.

1899 (2022)

Starts Great, Ends Badly

[6/10 · 19 November 2022]

Loved the great mystery through the first 6 episodes. The story was solid and held my interest. Then it just became convoluted as the writers went for any portal twist to keep the Twilight Zone feeling going. The last episode is just a mess and could be skipped until the last 5 minutes so you can confirm your suspicions that it was all just another Matrix knockoff. I guess most of us could figure out that plot twist after the series was half over. Still, very enjoyable cinematography and effects and fine acting. Overall a decent series despite the floundering storyline in the last few episodes. If you're a fan of Dark you'll probably enjoy this depressing new series. Great classic rock song selections here too!

Project Legion (2022)

The Omega Man Reboot on a $5,000 Budget

[2/10 · 11 October 2022]

Of course you know it's not going to be a classic when your lead actor is a retired MMA fighter. Donald Cerrone is a bad actor and has no on screen charisma whatsoever. Watching his "I am Legend" routine is like watching a crackhead suffering from paranoid delusional schizophrenia episodses hide out in a cockroach infested motel room for an hour. Everything about this movie is crumby. It's a lame story with lame action and lame suspense and a lame plot. You could probably make a better movie with a bunch of your friends having a party in any roadside flea ridden desert motel room and using your own cell phone as a movie camera. This trash film is seriously that poorly made. 2 Stars for the Hilarious effort and a couple of chuckles, watching this dumpster fire of a video unfold into the abyss of Nothingness.

Raven's Hollow (2022)

Poe Story, Poe Acting, Poe Me

[5/10 · 5 October 2022]

Well this film certainly had POEtential but it falls flat from a dreadfully dull script and some rather suspect 2nd rate acting, at times. It's not all bad but it's barely half good. It's half-hearted. The mood is good. The sets and atmosphere are good... unfortunate that it couldn't deliver on tension or plot. There's no scares and it's not spooky enough. If it had those elements it could have been excellent. But that's like saying, if my baloney sandwich was a steak it would be delicious. The buzzing synthesizer soundtrack also was a little distracting whenever it appeared. So if you're wide awake and forgiving of the plodding storyline you might enjoy it. If you're tired going in, you'll be fast asleep about 10 minutes into this Raven tale, evermore.

Dead for a Dollar (2022)

Dead of Boredom for Under a Dollar

[3/10 · 1 October 2022]

Considering the cast of excellent actors and a reputable director it's hard to imagine this western turning out as unwatchable as it appears it is. Most dusters have a mix of character development and action and this one one is about 96% filler with scenes about nothing. This film could've used the help of a Quentin Tarantino to add some inspiration to an actual story. To categorize this movie as a thriller western is a blatant fabrication of fact. And the set production was abysmally cheap. What were they thinking here on a shoestring budget? Every scene is talky like some kind of Broadway play yet lacking in any witty banter which is typically required when it's just a stage play. This is a real waste of time and talented actors.