jhmdeuce Reviews

Lebanon, Pa. (2010)

Hollywood garbage by any other name is still garbage.

[1/10 · 26 November 2011]

Lebanon, PA.

I picked this up at the local library. It was a "quick pick," mostly because of the review on the cover of the DVD, "Vastly superior to most of the Hollywood dreck we've been getting lately." That was enough for me. A good movie, minus the Hollywood propaganda. The idea that anything goes. Children are always more intelligent than their parents. Adultery is not only permissible, it's preferable. People who happen to believe in God are morons, even though the vast majority of Americans do believe. A story minus the glitzy aimless life preached by Hollywood.

Wrong. It was everything I thought I was avoiding but set in middle America. An indie film that portrays plain old Pennsylvania people as morons and bigots, lacking the "understanding" and "insight" of the benighted entertainers. Planned Parenthood is benign and helpful; Christians are cold, heartless, brutish and just plain ignorant. Morality is determined by strangers. The family is a farce.

This is just a stealthy attempt to impart the same old "Hollywood dreck" at it's "drecky-ist." The conclusion of the movie is as predictable as the plot.

Watch it...if you're just a "plain old" American who's more interested in being insulted than in being entertained.

Indie film makers should remember what Hollywood mogul Jack Warner said so long ago, "If you want to send a message, call Western Union."

Three Bad Men (2005)

Wow! Waadastinker

[1/10 · 24 February 2009]

I watched it on DVD. I can't imagine this raw turkey ever being in a theater. The entire film should be in "deleted scenes" or the gag reel. I thought in the early scenes that I was being set up for a gag. Unfortunately the only gag was the reflex I experienced while watching. Poor George Kennedy. To have been in some great movies with some legendary characters, to end up in this film school exercise. I hope he was paid much more than the role demanded. Unfortunately, he should have paid the producer to leave his scenes on the cutting room floor. This may be a cult classic some day. Wait until it becomes funny to watch it. On second thought, find it, watch it, and be on the cutting edge when it becomes popular. Just don't pay for it.

The Dark Knight (2008)

The bat has no clothes on. What a stinker!

[2/10 · 21 February 2009]

I hate to buck popular opinion, (not really), but I thought this movie was too long, too boring, too confusing and two out of ten. Perhaps I had unreasonable expectations. But I walked away from the movie thinking that this was probably the biggest "four-wall" in cinema history. If Heath Ledger wins an Academy Award for this turkey, the Academy should apologize to Harold and Kumar for being overlooked twice. This poor guy mumbles through this unrecognizable part like an amateur. And, how may plot lines does any movie need? I intensely dislike movies that have to set up the sequel. This is the most blatant sequel set-up since "The Empire Strikes Back." And what's with Maggie Gyllenhaal in the female, romantic, lead? Were all the attractive, talented, females busy? Maybe she'd be better suited for a remake of "Tugboat Annie," but I wouldn't say for sure whether she should play Marie Dressler's or Wallace Beery's role. Christian Bale? Bale of what? Certainly not delivering dialogue. Aaron Eckhart? Better suited for a small screen sit-com. Gary Oldman? Actually a bright spot, delivering his usual flawless performance that so rarely gets noticed. The caped crusader should become the crepe draped crusader. Try again fellas.