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Reviews
Conan O'Brien Must Go (2024)
Just not what I was expecting
A few laughs here and there but mostly Conan going way past the point of funny with a bunch of confused locals. Some scenes have Conan going on forever and ever trying to milk a joke. He's literally on the floor for what seemed like a dozen times. Instead of witty it comes off as lazy. He seems to enjoy making people extremely uncomfortable to the point where you just want to move on. The fans he visits seem taken aback and embarrassed that he just showed up and Conan comes off as rude in a lot of scenes. The best episode is Ireland but even that was pretty lame. What could have been an interesting section about his family history turns into an abuse of an uncomfortable genealogist. Just nowhere near his past outings.
Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023)
Really bad, I mean really bad
I like these guys on SNL, they work in a short format, but this is just 92 minutes of repetitive unfunny nonsense. I laughed maybe twice the entire time. The three leads have varying degrees of talent but they start to grate on you after a while, and they aren't as likable as they may believe. I know it's not supposed to be realistic but the plot, if you can call it that is so thin there is nothing there. Even Conan is terrible, he is just yelling. The director is a TV guy who mostly makes SNL content and TV movies and it shows. This really falls off a cliff in the 2nd half and gets sillier and sillier. I'm guessing this is the last movie these guys will make.
65 (2023)
Like going to the zoo when you are on safari
Like going to the zoo when you are on safari, we only catch a glimpse of any actual dinosaurs at a time when the planet was teeming with them. So many dark scenes also ruin the effect. Everyone seems to be acting, I don't believe Driver for a minute, it comes off as heavy handed yet dull. This could have been so much better, but dinosaur movies are generally hard to pull off because the aggressor is an animal with no motivation other than food. Most likely any smaller dinos would have run away and avoided the unknown humans, especially when they start firing guns at them. One major law is the fact that they show that the dinos died off and agree that man evolved later, but have humans flying in spaceships 45 million years ago? Man evolved twice on two different planets on opposite sides of the universe the same way? Also they are off course and find Earth? And then at the end leave Earth and go where? Their ship could never travel back to anything remotely close since we know the nearest habitable planet is 4.22 light years away , they would die on the ship.
M3GAN (2022)
Not in any way scary, technically stupid
A film full of unlikable characters whom we care nothing about, a plot so thin it's like toilet paper. We know exactly what is going to happen from the get-go since it's the same as the trailer. It's never explained why the doll is evil, how she is created so quickly in like a week or how her AI works, . There are no real subplots, no real character development, just scene after scene of a creepy doll, an annoying girl and her clueless aunt. It's said there was a R version and it was cut down to gain a teen audience but I can't imagine more violence would make this any better. Don't pay to see this, you will probably want to walk out.
Elvis (2022)
Terrible in every way possible
Baz Luhrmann is the worst director in history, a complete clown, I have no idea how he keeps getting new projects since each one is worse than the last. His style is puke inducing, a collage of nonsense like some acid trip, there is no cohesion or even a plot. What is that accent Tom is doing? A German? I turned this off after 4 mins.
Paper Girls (2022)
Terrible, so unrealistic
There is no such thing as Hell Day, and little girls are delivering papers in the dark? What parent would allow that? And little girls are threatening boys twice their size? I stopped watching after that, too silly.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part II (2022)
Simply terrible in every way.
Why can't you catch a 6 year old girl? At one point he's 2 feet behind her and then she's gone again. The roof gaps look like they were purposefully small for the scene so she could jump over them, no one makes buildings that close together. The girl playing Leia can't act, neither can Third Sister which is a weird boring character. Everything looks like a set, the street scenes remind me of Total Recall from 1990, random people doing random things. Obi Wan is a terrible shot for a Jedi, he can't even hit a giant lizard guy from 30 feet away.