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bjornrhein
Reviews
Torment (2013)
Its ok
Ive seen this before when it came out and remember I liked it , now when I saw it again I was not that sure
The acting is not on a oscar level , specially this katharina, look very good but did not play good, the boy is perhaps more annoying than the boy in babadook , also the direction is from another planet, love the father telling his child not to move, you must stay right here and absolute not move, and you must hide,,,,, CUT,,,
But this is not so bad as many says, if you like home invasion movies this is not on the 5 top list but it will be on top 10 I think, I think it deserve a sequel also.
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)
Pizza without cheese
Its something missing, except money , but the material is little too thin for this movie, almost would have worked better as a episode in some anthology serie
Ive seen this a couple of times and I remember I liked it the first time, though it was a good comedy , but now when I watched it I must say its not that good actually and have a very weak link in the acting and dont let me even start with the direction, so not sure if Im just older now and see things Ive missed before or if the spirit is gone cause Ive seen it already
But its not garbage, its low budget with an ok story, and it has some funny moments.
Severance (2006)
It is what it is
And what is it ? It is a low budget stupid b movie
Somehow I missed this movie, it is something I should like, brittish horror comedy is on my toplist, but this have passed me , and I wish so much it would have keep passing
Its pretty bad , direction is from another planet, the story is probably written in a cab on its way to the studio, the only thing that might work is the acting, its not sparkling but its ok atleast
And of course people love this garbage, not sure why actually, cause its not a good slasher or violent, and there were no jokes or any trace of comedy things, it was mostly annoying.
Crawl (2011)
A cowboy, a hooker and clown walks in to a bar
I have seen this movie 10 years ago , had some false memory this was ok movie, its not,, its bad, so bad its insane
The acting is from hell , the direction is from another planet and dont get me start with the story, Ive seen schooltheatres doing better stories than this sloppy mess
Who actually like this ? Some joker said this was as good as cohen movies, what an insult to call this abomination cohen, this movie had material for 20 minutes, but to drag it out and expend it as long as possible they do everything in slow motion , If someone walk up in a stair, he take one step at the time and you need to watch it all the way up , and can someone please kill the guy with the cello playing 3 tones in the background
This is pure garbage, why do they even do trash like this, we have absolute nothing, no script, no money, no actors lets make a movie.
Shôgun (2024)
Father please forgive them
Cause they dont know what they are rating
Yes its a great story , we all think that - and I love the story , the book is amazing, the mini serie from the 80is is fabolous, but this,,,, abomination,,, is an insult , I looked forward to see a modern version, new thinking and todays effects , instead it came out a fast sloppy written low budget story with acting reminding schooltheatre
A guy at my work said to me " oh you should see this serie called shogun, they have swords and sht, its so good " so I said ok you should see the original from the 80is instead,, and he looked at me and said " öhh do they have swords also " so when you wonder who put 10 on this serie,,, guys like this
The story is great, but this version is garbage and just look on the original instead , I know I step on toes and swear in the church but I got so tired on people like this and dont know how much better this actually is.
The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)
A clever zombie movie
This was the second time I saw this , and I think I would have rated it higher if it would have been the first time actually, because I remember I liked it alot , but now it went to be a 6 cause I could see little things I didnt liked and noticed the first time
But this is a good zombie movie, its different and well done , good acting and direction, effects are good aswell, most of all its a smart idea
The weak link is the story by it self , it contain parts with stupid moments, same problem with all zombie movies ,, kind of this " oh lets go out by my self in the middle of the night " and its annoying
But watch it , its a good movie.
Don't Blink (2014)
Its a typical 4-6 rated movie
Its just an ok movie without sparkling, nothing special, its just ok
Some joker did a review about this movie and though it was so good it would be a tv serie instead , yeah right, it was hardly material for this 88 minutes, and it was about 10 people that disapeared,, think a serie with 100 people that pops out ,,, No I would say the other way instead , this would be much better as a episode in twillight zone or simular series
Its easy to write a movie when you dont need to explain anything, so this is an easy movie, sloppy acting, bad direction but sure it has some entertainment moments, its ok.
The Crazies (2010)
Starts so well
Ive seen original movie many years ago aswell and though the same as now , its such an interesting idea, a groundstone to an awesome movie and most of all what a great start it is , I must say iI like movies who start in minute one
But after the great start it fading fast , romero likes to bring in military in his movies and it fails every time , this could have been so much better with people fighting in their little city only
So I think story is not so good, but this remake is better than the original and much better effects and direction, its an well done movie, acting also is good
But story could have been so much better.
Travelers (2016)
Let me spoil the party
Whats the hype with this serie? Its so high rated is amazing, it was not good , it was boring and a story reminding of a schoolplay
Some joker wrote a review and said this was a nailbiter, he was sitting on the edge of his sofa the whole serie, for real ? I was yawning through it from beginning to end
The acting is good , thats the only good thing I can say , but the story is just od , and full of shortcuts and holes , and its of course very cute, no blood or violence and death is only for the ones who already suppose to die, this could be for children, and perhaps it is , would explain all the good reviews.
Clueless (1995)
Wow what trash this is
I can give it 2 stars cause mighty mighty bosstones are playing in this movie, and the father is pretty funny , but thats about it
So why is people like this ? Looks like the targetgroup are younger girls and I can respect that, but otherwise its amazing anyone rate this movie over 2 - this is stupid and the worst is the movie go nowhere, you think all the time its a point somewhere but its just a stupid movie about absolute nothing
Tried to understand the high rated reviews what they liked so much with this but its just didnt made sence , this is not funny, the spoiled bratgirl is just annoying.
Resurrection (2022)
Its just not that good
Well it start well but losing speed in the middle and drop flat in the end , so no its not a good movie, its not even an ok movie its a pretty bad movie, but I give it 4 cause the acting is top clas and for a good start
So people in their reviews are putting knots on them self now to explain this movie, suddenly all are professors in psychologic behavour , they dont even guess what this movie is about, they say this is how it is ,,, some clown even though he was the only one understanding this trash
As soon movies like this comes out people want to rate it high cause its deep hardboiled psychologic trauma and cause of that they rate it high and explain it to the rest of us who dont get it, like babadook movie, same thing
Well I did get this movie, but its doesnt matters , it was not good done, script was not good enough and mostly it was boring and the end was a disaster.
Dark Windows (2023)
I loved it
I actually think this is a great movie, I hesitated when I saw the low ratings here but there was something with it anyway that made me rent it , I like this kind of movies and I just had a good feeling, and I am so happy I followed that instinct, this was great
Sure you have earlier references to I know what you did last summer, but this was better and way out better story, creepy level is high and it start just as I like it, slow and small things in the background that telling you something is wrong
I really dont understand why people didnt like it , perhaps its the stoneage cave people that thought this was a slasher with violence and blood, not sure , cause this is a great movie and I am very sensitive with movies , not easy to satisfy.
Jackals (2017)
The convention
Based on true events,,, well atleast based on other movies, but its ok - so there is some stolen parts here and there but thats how it is of course with these movies, how to do a home invasion movie without take references from the ones already done
But how can this be so low rated? Im surpriced actually, is there a cult out there against me ? Who dislike everything I like perhaps, its so typical I like this and its rated below 5 - I think its unfair to rate a movie with a great story and high creepy level this low , tried to understand the bad reviews but they seemed not to explain either , kind of cave people who only could growl öhhh baad movie
Some clown said he thought this movie was like the void,, what a joker , did you even checked the plot on this one , and isnt funny how many people always start the review with What did I just watched ,,, well this was a very simple movie so if you were troubled follow it you must stick to Walt Disney instead
This is ,,, a good movie, good script, great story, nice effects, its scary but not violent but I must also complain on the acting, its the weak link here and direction failed a couple of times aswell but its ok , yet a good movie.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Close to perfect
I like this movie, its a very good classic horror movie, the jumpscares work, and they are not to many , its creepy and scary and you are caught in the movie pretty often, this is good horror
So why so many bad reviews? I dont know, went surpriced so many people disliked it , but I guess its the same clowns thats think babadook is the best horror ever
Is not that much to complain in this , but perhaps the youngest child was not so good in acting, and I must say the last 15 minutes was not the final I hoped for , not sure what I wanted but it was maybe a bit simple , kind of show a cross and evil disapeared,, well its not perfect but its a good movie.
The Ruins (2008)
Vines of evil
I did see this back in the days when it came out on rental and remember how I had such a problem to decide what I thought about it , and I have avoided to see it again cause of it but now I did anyway
And it is up and down , perhaps not a disaster but its not a good movie, the material is to thin to just make a movie about 4 people on a ruin , and if you do it has to be good acting and even better dialogs
The biggest problem is the story, because it stumble on its own stupidity, if the locals dont want these people to spred the virus further ,, why dont just kill them instead
Im surpriced so many liked it , but think now when people can stream it the rating will fall.
Annabelle: Creation (2017)
So I kind of decided to
Get all of these annabelle movies on bluray and even sinister, conjuring and insidious at the same time, since they kind of came from the same box
Of course seen them already once but now after buying I just had a marathon watching and must say, they all are little the same , horror in the middle,, but this one , annabelle creation stick out , I think its the best
I like this movie alot , good horror, creepy and its well done , story also is total ok
What was perhaps little on minus is the acting from the children,, could had been better time to time, and the same with the direction, took some stupid shortcuts here and there, but ok its not a disaster,, its a good horror movie,, perfect for dates if you want physical contact.
Annabelle (2014)
It is this one scene
That I must say is one of the best scenes in horror and thats when a little girl run through a door, if you seen it you know what scene it is
Otherwise its not that much this movie have to offer , its a bit boring and slow , but sure its not that big issue either, but effects the movie a bit cause its not the intention to be slow its cause they dont have the material
But ok , annabelle does annabelle things and this is an ok movie without sparkle, some joker wrote a review about this being a B horror movie, thats nonsens only, then you havnt seen a real B movie, this is quality done with good effects
Story is good, the jumpscares are easy to figure out , but thats in all of this conjuring insidious annabelle movies , you know when its coming, the only thing I dont like in this movie are the acting of the mother ,,,,she is so bad in this.
The Return (2020)
Aim low shoot high
Who are these people who like this,,, well, simply people who watch B movies alot , troma lovers , Indie movies and all kind of low quality with no budget movies, because in that world this is a crownjewel
I guess its the same guys who did the CGI in babadook that let them self lose in this one too. Because the effects is so bad its insane , they should have skipped it , rather do some cheap rubbermask instead
I didnt like it that much, Because I dont think you should do movies if you dont have the money for it , but I will say some good words also , the acting is well done and that helping alot also the story is pretty ok ,, but like I said if you are use to this low budget movies this is for you.
E.L.E (2018)
Oh lord
This is bad, its so bad its insane, I didnt know anything could be this bad , I compare this with a schooltheatre or something
Sure I go for the lowbudget movie, and how they tried to build a headquarter in a garage, and its not bad done either, but if you going to do this , you need some good direction and even better acting
And the level on reality feeling in this movie is on ground level , hardly this is how things would be done if it was for real
This reminds me of bad tv shows running on daytime in the 90is its just so bad all of it , I could find one good thing, one girl was good looking.
Shame the Devil (2013)
Shame alright
Some joker gave this garbage 10 stars and wrote a review how fantastic it was , dude just wait until you see the saw movies you will freaking levitate
This is of course a idea stolen from saw , even if people say its not but it is , and that subject is drained , you cant do much more of it , its stupid even try, but for the one who like that kind of movies well this is for you
This is a bit boring, bad direction and the story dont work , what is good then , well the acting is pretty ok actually , and some good looking girls , but thats it on the plus side
Also the headcharacter is annoying, one of these guys who screams all the time.
The Good Things Devils Do (2020)
B as bad
Too many good reviews I guess, just had to destroy the party
This is a low budget trash movie without feeling and charm, no story , bad effects and dont even get me start with the acting , some joker wrote a review here when he thought this reminded him of the 80is and I guess its true, has alot of evil dead flirting, but not in a good way , its not helping
This is just not a good movie, and I went bored even when its action, trying to find something on the plus side but its not much, one girl looked good and I think thats it then , lets give her 2 stars and then lets forgett this garbage movie.
3 from Hell (2019)
A study in bad acting
Well this one is just like the rest of them , Rob doing Rob things more or less , it start pretty good , just like the ones before , but in the middle it loosing speed and then it drop flat in the ground , its funny all of Robbies movies do this , it feels like he have only material for an half hour
This is good a half hour , but seems like not having a real story, and most of all the acting is just horrible, from everyone, overplay or nonplay , but effects are pretty well done atleast
Mindless violence, but also something cute over it , its like Rob never take it away, has a frame and makes it nice somewhere anyway ,, well, watch it a rainy sunday, but you dont need to see it twice.
Tillsammans 99 (2023)
Freefall
Wow , how is it even possible to fail this one ? Really, there are so many different ways to do this movie thats it must basicly be harder to write a bad script than a good one
Its so simple, bring the characters back , now they are older, change their minds and after a good start with laugh and hugs let the drama begins and repeat same situations from 75 in different angles
But no ,, let it be a strange and boring manus without humour and let the viewer keep wondering in the whole movie why ,, why even bother to put toghetter this garbage
Some joker did a review with 10 stars, guess he mixed this one with the first because that one is brilliant, and loved the idea to do a new one 99 but what a disaster it went and Im not even disapointed, Im angry , what a missed oppurtunity and so much potential that throwned away , this should had been suffocated in its cradle , it should not have been borned.
Silent House (2011)
Its good
If you like to watch Elizabeth olsen for one hour and 28 minutes you will like this movie, I guess she is in every clip basicly , and I dont complain, its worth to watch it only because of her and nothing need to happends either its enough just with her, she actually do everything in one piece also and thats why her acting are failing here and there
I remember Ive seen this one before in spanish language when it came out kind of 15-20 years ago something, southamerica I believe, and I liked it alot , so it was fun now to see the american remake, looked like it was copied in detail more or less , even the camera work that reminds almost of found foootage filming , not sure if I like it , its different and work well time to time, but when the camera moves you also will remember its a movie, you drop the flow
Many reviews kind of like to call them self clever cause they understood the twist , and its true the ones who dont like this didnt get it probably, but the clever ones are not so smart either cause its so many holes and questions left also
But ok ,, its a good movie ,, if nothing else , because Elizabeth olsen.
God Is a Bullet (2023)
Gods rejects
So whenever you read a review saying " dont believe the bad reviews " you know thats exactly what you should do
People call this brilliant, People call this clever,, People call this best film ever ,,, well I call it trash - the story is just strange , and most of all its stupid, and top of it ,,, boring and long I can only give credit for the idea to the movie that was good but didnt work out
Based on true events ,, what could that be ? That criminals do tatoos perhaps because this is just strange fiction , well I must atleast give one plus for the acting also , its total ok , but this is just a bad movie.