norbertasj Reviews

Paradise City (2022)

Looks like amateur tv show extended episode

[3/10 · 14 November 2022]

Any 80-90 Miami vice or even Acapulco heat episode has better acting. Cant understand why such pros like Willis and Travolta did not give any advice for director or writer. Maybe they are more tired than Nicolas Cage.

Hawaii nature ahots did not save those bad dialogues, that dond fit no cinema, no theater stage - too flat. No right emotion. Bachground music fits more of robin hood or dragon and dungeon scenery, but not Hawaii.

Every second scene is out of logic. If you have drug lord in custody and stand before 20 of his goons aiming at you. You dont drop him, but use him as a live shield. BAD.

Vendetta (I) (2022)

Sorry for my eyes and ears

[1/10 · 19 May 2022]

The movie is just terrible. Saw the reviews before watching, but wanted to see it myself. Took me two days to see it to the end.

Lack of script logic.

No driving action.

No effects to cover everything is bad.

No deep personal drama.

Background soundtrack in some places is louder than dialogues.

None of actors felt in place with acting. Acctually it wasn't even acting (looked like first time script reading by people with mental dissability, not understanding, what they are reading).

Secondary school play has more reality and passion in dialoques.

Production money for this kind of movies should be better given to foster homes or kids acting schools, so in future no such movies would be created again.

Next some stupidity spoilers: 1. Towns main bad guy, having strip club, killing people on streets and is protected by cops, but in all has only 2 stupid junkie sons, and team of 5-6 goons. Why everyone is affraid of him and he is not in jail?

2. Whats with the aiming while firing? They all miss from 2 feet.

3. Whats with the main guys covering skills. He just stupidly runs backwards ducking without looking for cover in empty street, and bad guys don't hit him.

4. Car chop shop army - 3 bad guys with pistols come to their garage, and 10 people shoot their car, that stopped in front of them at 10 feet, and none of them hit noone in the car? Not even glasses. Shooting with automatic guns?

5. Last minutes of bad guy. Takes two pistols and shoots all chop shop army hidden behind cars, just walking in middile of garage? But missing all his shopts during whole movie in open air?

6. Strip club gang father killing - son gets out with gooons, leaving only one surfer guy at the entrance? With full working strip club, without security inside, even for girls, from drunk clients? And the boss father sits alone in his office, gets one bullet to the head. And all strip club peaople run away. How they even heard the shot, or understood what happened in all the music noice, when you cant even talk to each other?

Etc, etc.

Sorry, cant waste any more time for this movie - better look for your self at this tragedy.

Kaamelott: First Installment (2021)

French tragedy. Understandable maybe only for hardcore series fans

[2/10 · 27 November 2021]

To be straight - people that do not know the original series, won't understand this movie. And it's a question if fans can like it.

It's so bad, that after using IMDB without registry, i registered to leave the firs review ever.

Hoped it to be at least 50% of what Les Visiteurs was, but thats not even 5%.

I know that french comedy is specific (mostly linguistical), so watching the translated version possibly spoiled some jokes, but even with that, i saw less than 5 jokes over whole movie.

It is not comedy enougth to be comedy movie, and the 3 minutes of lighting effect on the sword is not enougth for this to be fantasy movie.

It's not funny if you watch it with brains turn off, and not funny when you try to watch it with deeper analysis. It's just not fun.

I love absurd comedies, but without enougth density and good punch lines, the movie is just absurd. I adore Les Visiteurs, Monthy phyton and the holy grail, Brians life. But Asterix and Obelix movies are much funnier than this.

Its possibly just a bad scripted first year student intro movie for upcoming TV series, that won't be aired outside France.