johnmorghen Reviews

Girls Gone Dead (2012)

For a good time, dial "Girls Gone Dead."

[8/10 · 13 August 2012]

Another slasher film, you say? Yes, it is... but, it's much more.

The teaming of director Michael Hoffman and writer Meghan Jones-Hoffman deliver their slickest work to date here, presenting an amalgam of slasher horror, sex comedies and jabs at contemporary culture... with bite! Personally, I dig that sort of thing.

Here are some of the high points for me:

1) Sal & Beetlejuice are worth the price of admission alone (check their behind-the-scenes antics in the DVD supplemental, as well).

2) Katie Peterson in the lead. Peterson has a lot going for her and reminds one of vintage Nicole Eggert... which is a definite plus.

3) Newcomer Shea Stewart. Is this really her first film? She puts the 'pretty' in pretty damn good.

4) Major kudos to Marcus Koch for providing some truly impressive special make-up effects.

5) Jerry Lawler giving his finest performance since his days with Andy Kaufman.

5) And, last, but certainly not least... Nicko McBrain croons country!

With elements like that, you just can't lose.

Give it a quick lick and make it stick!

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Ghoulish slaughter, endless carnage and Karen Black... OH, MY! Rob Zombie's directorial debut has finally arrived!

[6/10 · 12 April 2003]

Whether you love it or hate it, you've got to give Rob Zombie credit for making a film for his favorite genre and attempting to appease fans who, like me, are sick of the current trend of so-called horror films.

Overall, I confess that I am a bit indifferent on the film and I should see it again. With that said, what I loved best about the film was Rob's utilization of some terrific talent. When I first heard the cast included Bill Moseley, Karen Black, Sid Haig, Tom Towles and Michael J. Pollard, my admission was instantly secured. As for the film itself, it definitely could be considered "throwback horror", but not in the revolutionary sense. The film bares far too much familiarity to other horror films, most notably Tobe Hooper's "THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE" and "THE FUNHOUSE", which prevents it from treading new ground in the genre. But then, most everything in the horror genre has been done before and it's inevitable that whatever follows will be deemed derivative. Clearly the intent is there to make a good horror film or at least something better than the current drivel. Either way, it's an entertaining escapade.

The Final Terror (1983)

"We're gonna get you, Eggar! We're gonna get you BAAAD, Eggar!"

[8/10 · 16 February 2003]

Today, this film is notable primarily for the early performances of several young actors and serves as a great curiosity piece. Overall, I found this to be a fun, fast-paced and neatly constructed entry to the genre. Many talents are showcased here, such as Lewis Smith, Adrian Zmed, Rachel Ward, Joe Pantoliano, Mark Metcalf, Daryl Hannah and John Friedrich. Great performances, a terrific score and tight direction by Andrew Davis, make this an extremely entertaining addition to the slasher tradition. If you are a fan of the early '80s slashers, then I would highly recommend this.

It's Alive (1974)

Had the Davis baby been breast-fed, this massacre might never have happened.

[8/10 · 16 February 2003]

Screw the negative reviews! If you're into Larry Cohen movies, you will most certainly enjoy this one. Sure it's cheezy, sure it's unbelievable, but nevertheless, it's fun!

What few realize is that this film was intended as a spoof of sorts on Roman Polanski's film, "ROSEMARY'S BABY". You cannot watch this, or either of it's sequels, expecting to take things completely seriously.

John P. Ryan, who plays Frank Davis, is great in this. Ryan, in my opinion, is a terrific actor and is always worth watching. Cohen employed the talents of legendary composer, Bernard Herrmann, to score this film. The score, being one of Herrmann's last compositions, is truly tremendous and gives the film it's essential monster movie feel. Rumor has it that Herrmann passed on an opportunity to score William Friedkin's mainstream horror film, "THE EXORCIST", in favor of this independent project.

If you're looking for a great exploitation epic from the grand ol' days of '70s cinema, you won't be disappointed. The sequels, "IT LIVES AGAIN" and "IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE", are also worth a look.

Zombie Nightmare (1987)

Hands down, this is my favorite after-school special concerning the dangers of voodoo.

[6/10 · 20 January 2003]

In the grand tradition of other resurrected corpse stink-fests from the mid 1980's, such as "THE VIDEO DEAD", "FOREVER EVIL", "I WAS A TEENAGE ZOMBIE", "RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD" and "HARD ROCK ZOMBIES", Gold Gems Ltd. kindly presents "ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE" (a.k.a. "THE LAST VIDEO ON THE SHELF").

After a promising opening credit sequence, featuring the strains of Motorhead's "Ace Of Spades", it seems the film can do no wrong. The overall result is a film that's never as good as it wants to be and ends up falling extremely short of it's early promise. To put it mildly, this ain't exactly "THE LION OF WINTER", but it'll do.

Everyone's favorite steel-bending rock god thespian, Jon Mikl Thor of the aptly-named metal band THOR, plays a dork in a hooded sweatshirt who becomes victim to a hit-and-run by Tia Carrere and Co. His mother calls upon the neighborhood voodoo priestess, played by Manuska Rigaud (think Karen Black and Tina Turner's lovechild on PCP), to resurrect her dead son, so he can wreak revenge on the tire-squealing curlies. One by one, the no-good teenagers meet their end by the hands of the zombified dork in the hooded sweatshirt.

Halfway into the film, Adam West makes a welcome appearance, playing the local police chief who may have something to do with the intricate proceedings. Well, I won't give anything away here! Let's just say, if your name is Ronnie Milsap, you'll never see it coming! Think "THE USUAL SUSPECTS" with Manuska Rigaud. Get the picture?

For those who may ponder Adam West's involvement in such a film, allow me to put it into perspective, how many actors can say they've worked with The Three Stooges AND Jon Mikl Thor? I rest my case.

Thor went on to star in a whole 'nother nightmare, "ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE" (a.k.a. "THE EDGE OF HELL" or "Hey, I rented ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE, and when I got home to play it, this tape was inside"). If "ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE" is good, then "ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE" is DAMN good... or, maybe not.

I recommend watching both films back to back and then running around naked in a chicken coop, with petroleum jelly on your feet, for three hours. Compare the experiences and get back to me ASAP. Thanks.

Black Cobra (1976)

Lesbians, Palance and Snakes... Oh My!

[25 November 2002]

If you're like me, you grew up watching late nite softies on Cinemax every Friday nite. If this is the case, then you have definitely heard and probably seen quite a bit of the lovely Laura Gemser. After seeing "BLACK EMANUELLE" many, many moons ago, I became an instant fan and have since viewed several of her films.

This particular gem qualifies as one of her lesser known films. Essentially, this is a variation on her Emanuelle role with Jack Palance and a whole lot of snakin' goin' on! Fun stuff most likely, if you are a fan of Gemser.

Gemser plays an exotic dancer named Eva. Performing with snakes is her specialty. No, not those kind! Now, you're getting ahead of me!

Anywayz... Gemser's real-life husband, Gabrielle Tinti, portrays Jules Carmichael. Jules is an executive of some sort, who persuades his brother Judas (Palance) to visit a nightclub with him to watch one of Eva's nightly performances.

Judas loves snakes (No, not those kind!) and his apartment is filled with them. So, along with her beauty, it's natural that Judas would fall for a gal like Eva. He soon arranges to meet and introduce her to his snakey friends. Judas hires Eva to take care of his pets while he is away on business. From here on out, you know the drill... While the cat's away, the mice will play... and dance around naked with the cat's snakes.

We soon learn that Eva really digs the lady-lovin' which overrides her tendencies to charm any snake other than the reptile kind. Several nude scenes later, Eva's girlfriend is killed mysteriously and Eva must find out who killed her and why. This is a common filmmaking trait known as a "mild plot motivator". I guess they need to keep things moving along but I, for one, wasn't complaining. I thought the pacing was just fine. Do what you gotta do, Eva. I'm all for it.

These are all the details I gathered. Aside from Gemser and the fact that this was one of those "Palance earns a week's pay" performances, I deemed all other plot elements unnecessary and naturally focused on the good parts, of which there are plenty.

You cannot go wrong with any film featuring a topless Gemser within the first five minutes, and fully nude around the eight minute mark. It's just a damn fact. Why can't more filmmakers hint on this?

"BLACK COBRA" was directed by the masterful eye of Joe D'Amato (Aristide Massaccesi), who would later collaborate on several films with Gemser and eventually go on to a successful career directing real pornos with an entirely different breed of snake.

Sadly, Gemser has pretty much left the filmmaking scene and her films no longer play on Cinemax. Most of them have since gone out of print on video here in the States, making them nearly impossible to find.

A quick program note: This is a long, long movie! Over four hours in length! Actually, it only clocks in at around 90 minutes, but if you find yourself using the slow-motion and pause feature on your VCR as much as I did, expect to gain an additional 2 1/2 hours of screening time.

In closing, I highly recommend this film. A truly uplifting experience! Teachers, show it to your classes today. They'll thank you for it! Trust me.

Later kids! -NM.

Z.P.G. (1972)

Midnight Mark can go soak his head!

[25 November 2002]

It has been years since I've seen this film and I remember enjoying the premise very much.

Like "LOGAN'S RUN", it takes a similar "What If?" scenario, and places it in a bleak, controlled society. While the film itself may not be great, the concept does prove interesting and qualifies as good science fiction.

In my opinion, Oliver Reed is always worth watching. Along with Geraldine Chaplin and the great (and often underrated) Don Gordon, Reed delivers a solid performance, giving the film it's real thrust rather than placing it in the usual special effects laden territory.

In closing, "THE BLOB" is a great film. And, anyone who may think otherwise can join a previous reviewer and soak their head.

Thank you. -NM.

Dawn of the Mummy (1981)

YAWN OF THE MUMMY

[6/10 · 24 November 2002]

Since HBO/Thorn EMI's domestic video release has long since been retired, the film itself has become a rarity and sought after by many a horror fan. And, I was no exception. Even when the film was in print, I still had trouble. When I was a kid, all the "cool looking" horror films I wanted to see where never available at the video store my family went to, but rather at video stores in other cities and such. This was the case with "DAWN OF THE MUMMY" and I finally secured a copy after all these years. Less than one hour later, my unknowing plight with insomnia had been cured.

First of all, I don't care what anyone says, this is NOT an Italian horror film. This common rumor is not only inaccurate but inappropriate to an established style of filmmaking. What we have here is an American and Arabian co-production, and it shows.

The pacing is absolutely horrible. After spending 40 minutes of ridiculous padding, we finally see the resurrection of an actual mummy. This particular shot is edited quite nicely and stands as one of the two interesting sequences throughout the film. The other, takes place several minutes later, when a horde of flesh hungry mummified zombies rise from the sands of the desert. And, there you have it. That's it. Back to the slo-mo carnage.

If you want blood, you've got it... Sloppy Joe style. Most fans of zombie films crave the gore sequences, and I suppose I do as well to some extent. If it is handled in the right way, it can add to the film, but if it maintains the inept "BURIAL GROUND" approach, as this film does, I soon lose interest.

All in all, I can only recommend the film for it's terrific poster artwork (which lured me to watching it in the first place), a great score and the two sequences mentioned earlier.

That's all for now.

Blast-Off Girls (1967)

Boojie Baker says "Have a blast!"

[26 October 2002]

For me, H.G. Lewis movies have always been a mixed bag. Sometimes they're a lot of fun and sometimes they are excruciating. This would fall in the latter category.

The story involves a sheisty band manager (and "whitey mack" wannabe), Boojie Baker (played by Dan Conway), who goes from one garage band to the next, forming them into a profit for himself. The type of manager who believes in taking as much credit and percentage as possible and leaving his band with virtually nothing. Conway turns in a good performance, yet considering the repetitive nature of the plot and several other elements, it becomes grating.

Boojie's first group gets the hint right away, when he tries to screw them out of their earnings, and they proceed to take a hike. He bounces back and hits the jackpot, with his next anti-stellar group of morons. A group that continues to get conned over and over by Boojie's transparent tactics, until 10 minutes towards the end of the picture when they finally discover an escape clause (an escape clause being a metaphor for a small rock on the same gravel road they've been traveling on all along).

H.G. Lewis' films were never known for great music, and this one might have the worst. If you thought the theme from "JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT" sounded like "White Rabbit" performed by an orchard of adam's apples liquefied in a blender, then you ain't heard nothin' yet. Wait until you hear Boojie's band, The Big Blast, pump out the same song over and over and over and over. Not even a song really, just a chorus that's sung so many times that it literally sounds like a broken record. Here's a taste... "The next time that you want me, I won't run to you. The next time that you need me, I'll tell you that we're through. The next time, the next time, the next time that we're through(?!)" Just imagine hearing that same jam session in nearly every other scene. Not since Jean-Luc Godard's "SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL", have I seen a film that thrives on such lyrical overkill.

What's even more grating is that the band members never truly gel with one another and the music suffers because of it. At times, it seems as if each member is singing different lyrics to the same chorus, all at once. For example, when they're singing "...the next time...", it sometimes sounds like "...run and hide...". And, in a more interesting number, "Go BLANK Yourself, My Friend", some of them sing "Go BLANK Yourself, A Friend". My initial thoughts were that this was a band of non-actors attempting to perform music, when in fact, according to the credits, this was a real band. Ugghh.

In conclusion, if you want a far out ride that contains little emphasis on girls and couldn't provide a spark with a dry match in a hay barn, then "THE BLAST-OFF GIRLS" is for you! Otherwise, I'd recommend Arch Hall, Jr's "WILD GUITAR", which deals in the same subject manner and is a lot more fun to watch.

The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)

What's not to love?!

[14 September 2002]

So, it's not the latest Merchant-Ivory production. Let's face it, those blokes could certainly learn a thing or two from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking.

"THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS" has a lot going for it, and bears the distinction of being the only film in motion picture history to ever combine all of the following elements* into a neat 77 minute package AND still manage to pack the kids' lunches, run for Governor of Illinois and pick up last week's dry cleaning all at the same time. What a trooper!

*"The following elements"... -- David Carradine -- Tons of naked women -- Sword fights (inept and otherwise) -- Maria Socas running around topless eighty percent of the time -- Cues from James Horner's "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" score -- Tons of breasts... the friendly kind -- A fat man and his angry lizard (that astounds like no other animatronic, yet immobile angry lizard ever could!) -- A chick with four... count 'em... four tits (beat that Verhoeven!) -- And, of course... David Carradine.

What more could you ask for? A blender? This film deserves it's own category. Peplum Film Noir.

If you want to send love this Christmas, give 'em "THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS". They'll devour it in 77 minutes flat... and, love you for it, if time permits.

Mean Machine (2001)

An interesting and fun remake of "THE LONGEST YARD".

[7/10 · 6 August 2002]

I generally hate remakes, but I enjoyed "MEAN MACHINE".

Comparisons are unavoidable with a remake to a popular film, and this is no exception, yet it maintains it's own in a way that an American remake might have not.

This time, our superstar is Danny Meehan played by Vinnie Jones. He's a far cry from Burt Reynolds' Paul Crewe, but he's rowing in the same boat, nonetheless.

Danny is a has-been sports idol, who lost his stardom due to shaving points off a critical game in his career. After getting arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct, he meets up with the sport all over again, by coaching a team of inmates to go up against the prison's guards in a major/minor game of football.

The situation is basically the same, yet there are a few twists here and there to keep things from getting too familiar. The largest of which is that we're dealing with Britain's football, soccer. It is this turn that proves beneficial in giving this film it's own identity.

Albert S. Ruddy, the producer of the original, has arranged for this revision, and seems to know all the right chords to make this an effective feature, as well. The performances are key. Jones does a great job carrying the picture, and it's nice to see Jason Statham joining in the fun, although his role seems a bit hampered by too little screen time. The "holier-than-thou eyebrow performance-of-the-year" award must go to David "Oh, my God, is that really him?!" Hemmings as the crooked warden. He's no Barbara Steele, but he'll do.

Overall, the "MEAN MACHINE" is an entertaining film and definitely worth a look.

One Clean Move (1996)

A swift, little curiosity.

[6 August 2002]

If you ever get the chance to see "ONE CLEAN MOVE", hopefully you will find it just as entertaining as I have.

The film itself is a bit of clever fun pitting Harry Hamlin as the heroic lead against Gary Busey as the unconventional villain. A cut-and-run premise, that blends well with the surroundings. Overall, an inspiring work, certainly worth viewing a time or two.

The Eiger Sanction (1975)

Well worth a look. An interesting turn for Clint Eastwood.

[8/10 · 6 August 2002]

After viewing this film for the first time in over a decade, I am left feeling that it deserves more attention. Several will disagree, and that's fine.

This was Clint Eastwood's fourth film as director, which proves to be an entertaining and well-paced production, filled with interesting characters, situations and solid performances.

Certainly, one of the most beautifully shot films of Eastwood's career. I only wish I could have seen this in the cinema.

So, there's my two cents, for whatever it's worth on the current exchange rate. If you've never seen "THE EIGER SANCTION", give it a chance, you just might enjoy it.

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Two reasons: Shatner & Stucker.

[7/10 · 21 April 2002]

Sure, this isn't as great as the original, but it ain't that bad, either. Yes, it was a mistake that the Zucker Bros., and Jim Abrahams had nothing to do with this film, but then again... they might have not wanted to do a sequel. So be it. Paramount made the sequel, and I have to give the writer/director, Ken Finkleman, credit. He did a good job re-vamping the feel of the original, and was able to bring back a large amount of the original's cast. For example: Stephen Stucker.

While it may be a lesser film, it does have it's moments.

Newsflash to George Litman... This film was rated PG, just as the original. That film was NOT rated R. Do your homework.

Later Kids... -johnmorghen.

Impulse (1974)

A quick commentary...

[2 April 2002]

I am about to watch this film, and I just know I'll love it. Why? Shatner is a big factor, along with such promising co-stars as Harold "Odd-Job" Sakata playing "Karate Pete"! Sounds spectacular.

Deep down, we all love the so-called "bad movies", yet some still feel the need to belittle them, as if they know what "true cinema" is. Meanwhile, these same schmucks are first in line to see "BLADE II". Hmmmm. So, lay off the Shatner jokes, Curly. Leave the driving to the big boys, and steer clear of the keyboard.

A comment to the person who rated this flick before me: Learn how to spell. If I read a review that isn't worded correctly, I'm not going to value the opinion of the writer. Example: "One of the WORSE movies ever..." It's called WORST, Savant. Invest in a dictionary, they're good.

Later Days... -Nathan.

Breaking the Rules (1992)

Now, let's be totally honest here...

[19 March 2002]

"BREAKING THE RULES" has a good cast and a competent storyline that provides an "anything can happen" atmosphere, yet the end result is far from satisfying.

With Neal Israel at the helm, and the talents of Jonathan Silverman, Jason Bateman, C. Thomas Howell and Annie Potts, I expected much more, but the overall feel of the film is that of "un-feeling". Most of the situations are just not funny, and I wish I could care for the plight of these characters, but I didn't.

There are all too many implausibilities that plague the film and take away from it's potential. For example, Howell, Bateman and Silverman have several moments in the film where they "croon" out a few tunes, and their stand-in singing voices are beyond unbelievable, which ultimately distracts the possible fun of these scenes.

This is not a bad film, but it could have been so much better.

Tintorera: Killer Shark (1977)

When hot summer nights turn into cold terror... the overall feeling is a lot like boredom.

[10 March 2002]

The film starts off promising. Right off the bat, we see the shark, a tiger shark to be exact (a.k.a. Tintorera), accompanied by darkly brooding theme music. Once the title hits the screen, the music changes into an upbeat jungle/disco rhythm hybrid... and disturbs the mood, completely. Potential is lost from here on out, and everything else escalates in a downward spiral... reminiscent of a "flush rinse", and about as enjoyable.

Our main characters, Esteban and Miguel, are a couple of happy-go-lucky/shark-poaching knuckleheads who love to hang out together, on the poopdeck... in the nude. Oh, and they also have a penchant for the ladies. The ladies must dig them for their lack of morals and hatred for underwear. The yachting type, to a tee.

ANYWAYZ... Our story continues to shamble along, and all the essentials are here: nude swimming, crazy sex, more nude swimming, gratuitous stock footage of sharks getting killed for no reason, dry land conversation that occasionally lapses into another language, a few chicks here and there, even more nude swimming, close-up after close-up of Hugo Stiglitz and his beard, yachta, yachta, yachta.

Fiona Lewis, Susan George, Jennifer Ashley and Priscilla Barnes are just a few of the lovely ladies, that join Esteban and Miguel, from one occasion to another. Summer flings don't mean a thing, 'less you got that love sting.

If you enjoy seeing real sharks getting senselessly slaughtered for no reason, then there is plenty to see here. One hopes that these scenes are stock footage, and not created for the purpose of this film. Either way, it is crass exploitation, at it's worst.

There aren't enough good things to keep this film afloat. Ultimately, the film's poster along with an interesting score by Basil Pouledouris, the man who would later give Arnold Schwarzenegger his trademark cues, with his score for "CONAN THE BARBARIAN", are the best qualities. A major waste. A good film could have been made, but wasn't.

Barnes, George and Lewis all appear in shoddy nude scenes, that may give this film it's only appeal.

As for the director, Rene Cardona, he has fared much better in previous films. If only he had teamed the shark against the aztec mummy, we might actually have something worth seeing!

Along with the equally uninteresting "DEEP BLOOD", this one ranks as one of the lesser films to come out of the "JAWS" knock-off trend.

Reporting from my schooner, sans clothes... -Nathan.

Frankenstein Island (1981)

Anti-perfection begets perfection...

[6/10 · 1 March 2002]

John Carradine once stated that "BILLY THE KID VERSUS DRACULA" had to be his all-time worst film. I am assuming, with all due evidence, that he never saw the final cut (or any cut, for that matter) of "FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND".

Quite possibly, this may be our finest piece of cinematic flourish. You won't find a study of it in any film class, which really makes one question the need for such studies, and very little referrence in books. This one registers "off the blicker" one-hundred percent.

Say what you will about the effects, acting, scenery, bikini-clad babes, zombies with ski-knit caps, erroneous use of John Carradine footage, men who wear a scarf (yet, are not gay), horrible dialogue, Cameron Mitchell's eye-patch, et cetera, et cetera... I have to say that this is one of the most entertaining films, I have ever seen. If you lower the bar, low enough, you can't go wrong. A true curiousity, for those lacking curiousity.

You've gotta love any film with the name "Frankenstein" in the title, that holds back the appearance of said monster until 78 minutes into it. Now, that's either a great example of commitment, or lack of budget. Who can really decide?

"FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND" was made in 1981, yet it looks like something out of the late '50's to mid '60's. A definite time warp. But, then again, that's Jerry Warren for you. The man's got style.

It's impossible to parody such a film, as it is the perfect parody of itself. Does it really take itself seriously, or are we fools for thinking it does? Perhaps, the joke is on us, the whole time. Either way, this film is brilliant. A definite must see for any enthusiastic or non-enthusiastic film enthusiasts.

It's not worth that much, but I urge you to see it for all it's worth. This film will either p**s you off, entertain you or, like a sliced onion, bring tears to your eyes. From a logical standpoint, there is no doubt that this may be one of the worst films ever made, but let's be logical about it... a film that bears that distinction could, in fact, be one of the best films ever made.

My philosophy: Expect nothing, and get everything.

The Return of Superfly (1990)

SuperLame (or, NOT EXACTLY a SuperFly Way To Die)...

[6/10 · 26 February 2002]

The original "SUPERFLY" has always been one of my favorite films, and is undoubtedly an important milestone in urban filmmaking. So, what is there to say about this lame sequel? For one, it is an attempt to get back to the original, with a somewhat interesting plot, bringing the character of Priest back to the drug scene he managed to stray away from so many years ago, unlike "SUPERFLY T.N.T.", which went an entirely different, yet plausible route.

The biggest problem, and perhaps this is the factor that's really holding it back, is the miscasting of Youngblood Priest, this time played by Nathan Purdee. Purdee is a sore choice to fill Ron O'Neal's shoes. You can't make a SuperFly movie without Ron O'Neal, plain and simple. Just as the original tag-line read: "Never a dude like this one!" Precisely. Purdee ain't SuperFly, which keeps this one grounded, throughout.

The best thing this film has going for it is Curtis Mayfield, who is back to score. Here he does a fine job of balancing the roots of his original music with a contemporary spirit, that suits the film well.

In my opinion, between the two sequels, "SUPERFLY T.N.T." is far superior, yet it sorely lacks the input of Mayfield and Gordon Parks, Jr. But, on the other hand, we at least have Ron O'Neal reprising his role. With "THE RETURN OF SUPERFLY", we unfortunately, don't have that option, yet we do have a new score by Mayfield. Go figure.

Now, if only these two sequels could have met somewhere and shared a cup of coffee, we might be on to something... the melding of a perfect sequel.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

God Damn! I love this movie!!!

[9/10 · 27 January 2002]

Within a week after my first viewing of "WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER", I've seen it at least five more times... and, it hasn't left my DVD player since.

If you've ever seen the MTV series "The State", then you know just how brilliant David Wain and Michael Showalter are. As for the rest of the cast, well, I was extremely pleased to see Ken Marino, Joe Lo Truglio and Michael Ian Black (all from "The State", as well), adding to the fun.

Yes, you've got your headliners, Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce and Molly Shannon, who all do a fantastic job, but the real stars are the supporting cast, Paul Rudd (who I just have to mention, starred in the underrated gem, "OVERNIGHT DELIVERY"), Marguerite Moreau, Zak Orth, A.D. Miles, Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Marisa Ryan and Elizabeth Banks are also terrific. And, let's not forget the great Christopher Meloni. He's definitely a new fave of mine. Good, good stuff. I can't praise it enough.

All I can say is this, most folks won't dig it, that's because they are idiots and have no true appreciation for comedy. As for all of us, we get the joke... and, that's a special, warm, gooey feeling between the toes... a feeling no one else can take away from us.

Well, now it's time for me to go. I've got to spread some mud on my ass.

Seriously, kids... It's time for a sequel.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

I'd rather eat barbecue at a funeral.

[2/10 · 26 January 2002]

If you buy into the hype... If you thought "WISHMASTER" was the scariest thing ever... Or, if you thought "GINGER SNAPS" was super-cool... Then, this one's for you. Anyone else... Need not apply.

I smell poop.

Yes, everyone's favorite law-abiding citizen, Victor Salva, is back in the director's chair for another sloppy heap of so-called horror.

NOTE: As of this writing, Salva's scariest film (a short film called "KIDS DO THE DARNDEST THINGS") remains unreleased. Legal issues surrounding the project have had it tied up for years, and it is doubtful that anything else of his creation, could be nearly as effective.

Wavelength (1983)

"WAVELENGTH" a worthwhile effort, not a rip-off.

[8/10 · 26 January 2002]

After viewing this film for the first time (and with an open mind), I feel the need to defend it against the general naysayers who condemn it, claiming that it is nothing but a rip-off. Unfortunately, this film has just about been buried by several bad reviews, and the fact that "E.T." was released just prior to this film, didn't help it, either.

The fact is, it's nearly 20 years down the line, and people are still comparing it to "E.T.". I certainly don't feel that this is a rip-off of "E.T.", nor do I feel that it bears much resemblance. It may be true that this film was made with the intent to cash in on the alien/science-fiction trend of that period, but then again, when doesn't that happen in Hollywood? If we are going to compare films about extra-terrestrials, then this one ranks more closely to Steven Spielberg's earlier accomplishment, "CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND".

Overall, I enjoyed this film. Robert Carradine and Cherrie Currie (of The Runaways fame) turn in some solid performances, which rise above most films of this caliber. Keenan Wynn, reprising his usual stubborn old man role, is always worth watching. Tangerine Dream provides the music for the film, and as usual, their score is especially effective, and works best in the most critical areas.

One has to appreciate the intelligence that the film has, which clearly indicates that this was not just another "hatchet-job" rushed effort, that some would suspect.

The end result is, by no means, tremendous. But, this film is extremely underrated, and is at the very least, worthwhile entertainment.

If you get a chance, give it a shot.

Number One with a Bullet (1987)

"NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET"... more bang for the buck.

[30 December 2001]

Here we have an enjoyable buddy cop film, fresh from the buddy cop hey-day of the mid '80's. Robert Carradine plays Nick Berzak (dubbed "Berzerk" by the perps who know him best), a rough and tough cop who always seems to be down on his luck. His partner, Hazeltine (played by the original "Ladies Man", Billy Dee Williams), is the one who keeps him in line. A perfect combination of good cop, bad cop.

They're hot on the trail, with their gut instinct that the local mayor, DeCosta, is behind some elaborate drug smuggling connection. Naturally, no one else on the police force believes either one of them, and it becomes clear throughout that there is a "rat" among them, who may be in on the scheme.

Like I said, I found this enjoyable. It's merely a "paint-by-numbers" action film, that is salvaged by the likeable charms of Carradine and Williams, with a good supporting cast headed by Peter Graves and Valerie Bertinelli. If you are a fan of the Cannon Group and their "canon" of '80's action flicks, you should enjoy this.

Story by Gail Morgan Hickman, who also wrote the Cannon/Charles Bronson films, "MURPHY'S LAW" and "DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN". The script recieved a polish by James Belushi, to whom this film was initially intended as a starring vehicle.

* For added fun, one could develop a drinking game based on every time Carradine spouts the name "DeCosta".

Death Game (1977)

"DEATH GAME" ...the object is to stay alive!

[7/10 · 30 December 2001]

Okay, now it's time for my take on the film. I've read so many meaningless reviews that only serve to mislead and miseducate. So, first, here is the basic plot: Seymour Cassel portrays George Manning, a husband and father, living the idyllic family-life. He's got the perfect wife, lovely children and a beautiful home, just on the outskirts of San Francisco, in the (seemingly) peaceful middle of nowhere, to be exact. While his wife and kids have left town for the weekend, he is left all alone on his 40th birthday. This is where it all begins.

On this stormy night, he is greeted by two young women, whom he takes in for shelter while they call a friend and await arrival to be picked up. The girls, Jackson (played by Sondra Locke) and Donna (the delightful Colleen Camp) seem endearing at first, and are more than impressed by the lush surroundings of George's home. They warm up to George, resulting in a somewhat unwelcome sexual episode. This is where most people are wrong... the film does NOT contain "tons of nudity". Yes, there's Sondra showing off what no one wanted to see, and Colleen who gets the "cutaway" every time she disrobes, which is typical as I've never seen her in a nude scene before. She has done a lot of exploitation films, even T & A films, yet offered no T & A, which made me wonder whether or not these reviewers were correct. In fact, the initial sex scene involving the three of them is done in a tasteful manner, with a dizzying series of dissolves, and overall steaminess (not in the sense that it comes off steamy, it just looks like someone left the kettle on too long).

The morning comes and George awakes to the girls who are still at his house. Reality sets in and he realizes he made a bad call. The girls claim that their friend never showed up, which puzzles George. He offers to take them home, but they insist on dancing around the issue. During breakfast, the girls pig-out... big time. George gets irritated by their behaviour and now he wants them out. Through several difficulties, it becomes evident that the girls are no longer "teasing", they are seriously disturbed. Eventually, George finally manages to get them in the car and drives them into San Francisco. He drops them off and heads back home.

As George arrives home, he notices a figure stirring upstairs, only to discover that his journey was all-for-not, as the girls have returned. It is clear that George is now a prisoner in his own home, with no fore-seen conclusion. The girls' bent personalities really begin to shine, as they tie George up and put him through several ongoing tortures, which transcends the remainder of the film into this abyss of nightmarish absurdity.

The film has a very surreal, bad dream-like quality and the tone is nothing short of completely "off-kilter". Very much at home with others of the genre like "THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT" and "HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK", yet not as graphic.

The film's duration, an 87 minute running time, seems un-ending. And, yes it does have one of those "curve-ball wallop" endings, not so much in a good sense, but rather in one of those "time to make a mold" instances.

A few things of note: Cassel's performance is completely dubbed, by someone else, which sort of adds to the atmosphere in an odd way, and what may dictate his true feelings concerning his involvement in the picture. Colleen does have a couple of nude scenes, the "hopping on the bed" sequence and the weird and dreamy "window tapping" scene towards the end of the film. Supposedly, this is all based on a true story, which was a commonly used "hook", especially in the golden days of '70's exploitation fare, and more than likely, is a falsehood. The production designer, Jack Fisk worked on this film along with assistant set dressers, his wife Sissy Spacek and Bill Paxton. And, last but certainly not least, that damned song "Good Old Dad" will drive anyone into a sadistic, maniacal rage. It has to be the WORST song I've ever heard, and that says a lot. Not to mention, that it is played throughout the film, continuously, in long, overdrawn montage sequences that take you to nowhere, and leave you there!

Overall, I had wanted to see this film for years, and after finally viewing it, I must say that it fell short of what I had expected, yet I did not dislike the film. There are plenty of good ingredients to add up to an un-nerving cult classic, but instead we are left with a level of confusion, rather than curiousity. Despite a few shortcomings, the film is worth watching for the performances and atmosphere, and a chance to see Cassel in action while John Cassavetes had his back turned.

A First American Films Release. Distributed by Levitt-Pickman Film Corporation.

The Pom Pom Girls (1976)

It's all a bum rap for "THE POM POM GIRLS"...

[13 December 2001]

You've seen it all before and several times since, the atypical teeny-bop sex romp, that's less filling... but, tastes great. Recently, I was in one of those "Hey, I wanna see some Bobby Carradine action, circa '76" moods... so, I rented this, and actually enjoyed it.

Since 1976 was such a damned good year, I like to re-live it, as much as possible, and this film along with a headliner of "THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE" (the best "boy with immune deficiency syndrome and raging-hormones-to-boot" movie-of-the-week, ever), fit the bill, perfectly.

Like I said, I dug it. A pleasant little curiousity from an era when the drive-in was in full swing. The film's not great, mind you, but if you are a fan of Robert Carradine, you will enjoy seeing him in one of his first leading roles. Joseph Ruben (who also made "JOYRIDE" with Carradine, the next year for American-International), wrote and directed this film, years before he tread cult status with "DREAMSCAPE", or later fame with films like "SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY". James Gammon, who is best recognized from his role as the coach in the "MAJOR LEAGUE" films, appears here as the high school football coach.

I will say this... the "lunchbreak duel" sequence is brilliant. A great piece of comedy.

All around, this is great late nite fare... it did the trick for me! And, when you're done with this, pop in "THE SENIORS" with Dennis Quaid and Priscilla Barnes, for even more "bang for your buck"... or, you can save a buck, by getting to know me, becoming my close personal friend, and rubbing me the right way, until I eventually cave in and let you borrow my copy! This could take anywhere from 2-94 weeks for hand-written confirmation, of course. Just mull it over, a bit.

That's all for now, kids.

Reporting from my fingertips... -Nathan.