bijhan-reverend Reviews

Spartacus (2004)

Not a review of the film - a review of a reviewer

[24 December 2008]

One of the previous reviewers, whose review garnered a "useful" label by 29 out of 29 people at the time of this writing, had the gall to correct the "thumbs up" vs "thumbs down" decision-making style of the gladiatorial arena.

This is the height of hubris. In reality, there is not a person alive today who truly knows what motion of the hand meant what in ancient Rome. The entirety of our knowledge of the "thumbs up" thing comes from a passage in a letter written in Latin where it is mentioned that at a recent gladiatorial game the writer had observed that the fate was decided in "the usual way" by means of "pressed thumb". Hollywood interpreted this as thumbs up vs thumbs down, but who the hell knows what it really means.

Where the previous author collected this notion of down meaning "spare him" and some kind of "stabbing motion" meaning "kill him" is completely mysterious and untrue. The arrogance with which he delivered the assuredly true claim forced me to correct him publicly, as his review of this film had been validated by 29 people, which by extension validated this fiction he perpetrates.

Life or Something Like It (2002)

Yup, That's Seattle

[7/10 · 27 September 2007]

So the plot is thin, the characters not entirely likable, and some scenes knuckle-bitingly awkward when you know they're trying to be cute. Some of the dialogue is pretty good, and most of the acting if superb.

But what I really want to talk about is Seattle. In a world where my hometown is turned into a shallow replacement for New York, or just stereotyped to DEATH (see - Fraiser, Sleepless In Seattle, The Ring etc) it's nice to see a film that actually gives a crap about the city.

Holy doo-doo pants! Is that KOMO 4 News?! Okay, so they made one of the Os and Q, but those are the faces I watched every Saturday before the morning 'toons.

We see all kinds of places in Seattle that aren't international landmarks - Leschi Elementary School, Alki Beach, the Downtown Transit Station, the Queen Anne Easy Street Records, giving the viewer a realistic representation of the simultaneously snooty and gritty City of the Sound.

There are no slip-ups of speech. No one says anything about Lake "CHELL-un" (Chelan is pronounced "sha-LAN", Fraiser!) nor is the Sound ever accidentally referred to as a bay.

So basically what I'm saying is that if you want a movie that took its time to understand the character of the city it was taking place in, this is it. And avoid The Ring at ALL COSTS!