jack-71 Reviews

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

a patchwork quilt of a movie

[5/10 · 23 May 2006]

From the beginning I was left with mixed feelings. It bounces between being predictable and uninspired, but then you get these little moments which are memorable and worthy of the spirit of the first film of the series. Strangely, it is hard to identify the source of these good moments. Certainly some of it must come from the writers; but then why are there so many clichéd moments? Is it in the direction? If so Ratner clearly had good days when shooting and bad days- in places the action and interaction just seems lifeless. The main area of appeal of course is in the visuals. The grading (clearly digital) is really bad, with harsh coloring that presumably undermines the actual photography. The pictures look nice but there is no tonality to speak of, perhaps a metaphor for the other elements of the production. On the other hand, many of the visual effects are stunning and well-conceived, and make a break from the sometimes tedious dialogue. In terms of the story, it is a well-structured house of cards that for some reason falls apart at the end, when you realise that many of the characters were completely redundant, and the others resort to the (perhaps unavoidable) game of paper-stone-scissors.

The Incredibles (2004)

If only all films were like this

[9/10 · 10 January 2005]

I have always been a fan of Pixar's work, since I first saw Luxo Jr in the early 90s, but this completely blew me away. I have to say, first of all, that the art direction alone is worth going to see this film. And I never notice things like art direction the first time I watch a film, but the way the scenes were designed from the lava-flow walls to the golden fish (not goldfish) in a tank in Edna's place, just overwhelmed me. And unlike most animated movies, this one didn't feel rushed. The humour was there, of course, and it was clear that Bird put a lot of his Simpsons experience into the film. It deserves Oscar nominations, and not just in the animated features category. If I say something like, it's better than watching Shrek 1 & 2 back-to-back, perhaps that will sum it up the most.

Spaced (1999–2001)

Possibly the best thing to ever happen to television

[10/10 · 10 January 2005]

The whole two series was as close to perfect as I can imagine. Funny, beautifully shot, well-produced, the only downside was that there wasn't more of it. Perhaps the reason that it wasn't as successful as it should have been was that it didn't get a large enough audience. It was aired in a time when "The Royle Family" undeservedly won all the awards and praise, whereas Spaced was considered to be aimed at immature adolescents, film parodies and comic book references only worthy of an audience that doesn't know quality when they see it. And this is a tragedy, because, if television series' can be considered art form by any stretch of the imagination, then this is a masterpiece, something to be admired by others, a definite benchmark for all other programmes.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

from bad-ass to plain bad

[4/10 · 10 January 2005]

Blade used to be cool. That's right, Blade - the comic and the original film were both great, action-packed and well-written. For me, Blade was a decent vampire flick compared to all the nonsensical vampire films that were either dull or without any substance. Sadly, the third instalment of the series seems to have joined this category (the second was just incredibly mediocre). It's as if Goyer suddenly decided he couldn't remember how to write a decent vampire story, and started looking to the worst examples of the genre for guidance. Snipes brings absolutely nothing to the role, and apart from baring his teeth a couple of times, they may have just used a waxwork to replace him. I realise he's supposed to be a hardened, bitter character, but there's a point where you need to see even a hint of a thought-process. When he witnessed Whistler's death in the first film, that was a great moment. Now he sees it again, and it's as if he decided, well I've been through this once before, so I'm used to it by now. As soon as Dracula (or "Drake"...) appeared on the scene, I couldn't believe what I was watching. Had the Blade films really run its course that quickly that they had to resort to a storyline so tacky that it didn't even make it into the Buffy series until they got desperate for ideas. And really, I think that sums it up. If you're the sort of person who thinks the idea of having Dracula in a Blade film is a good one, then you'll probably love this film. And on another note, why do all vampire films seem to have an obligatory scene where someone outlines which vampire "myths" are not real?

High Tension (2003)

such promise

[7/10 · 15 October 2004]

This was one of the most, no, probably THE most intelligent slasher film I've ever seen. Very nasty, gritty, grim. So good you feel guilty for watching it. And it totally blows away all of the clichés of the genre. but then it all goes horribly wrong. As is the trend with these types of films, there is a twist at the end. But you can spot it a mile off (from the moment she uses the key to pry open the door), and what's worse, it feels tacked on at the last minute, and makes the whole film seem badly thought out (how many plot holes are there???) what a shame. but well-worth seeing, none the less.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

chilling(ly bad...)

[2/10 · 27 May 2004]

i can't believe i bore witness to a (supposedly serious) film that features a group of people being chased down a corridor by a cool breeze. i knew the science was flawed before i went in, so at least that didn't detract me too much from the experience. but never mind the snow and tidal waves, it's the gallons and gallons of cheese you have to watch out for. who can forget such classics as "I have to hug you for warmth" or the various mundane and sickeningly sentimental sacrifices all the characters make? I can't understand what on earth i was supposed to gain from the film. Perhaps Bjorn Lomborg was wrong: maybe they _should_ have just made a film featuring Brad Pitt battling a sewage problem instead. Don't get me wrong, I even enjoyed Armageddon. the key to enjoying this film is to treat it as if it's supposed to be that bad on purpose. therefore, i can award this two stars instead of 0. Oh no, what's that coming for me??? Phew, it was just the fridge door was left open...