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Reviews
Fang (2022)
Great film by a new King or a new Cronenberg
I had the privilege of watching Fang at a film festival.
I get scared at movies but it takes a real good movie to truly unsettle me. Fang goes up there with Dexter season 4.
The acting by Dylan La Ray as Billy Cochran and Lynn Lowry as his mother are terrific. La Ray plays a character that you can't help but sympathize with. A young man who struggles with autism and severe anxiety. I struggle with anxiety myself and it easy to make an exploitative character but Billy is real and his journey is heartbreaking.
Lynn Lowry as his mother Gina, a former beauty queen who is suffering from Parkison's dementia is also heartbreaking. One of my greatest fears is losing my mom to dementia and her performance is both terrifying and heartbreakingly sad.
The writing is also wonderful. The scene between Myra the caretaker, Gina, and Billy and the height contest is riddled with tension and you don't know how the scene will end.
One of my favorite writers is Stephen King and he knows how to write sympathetic villains and stories of people losing to their inner darkness. This is one of the best films that King never wrote.
It also reminds me of early Cronenberg with the body horror and the writer director Richard Burgin deftly skirts the line between what is real and what is in Billy's Mind that you the audience don't know what is real.
Independent films usually don't get the love that they deserve but I hope that this can get wide dispersion.
13 Fanboy (2021)
Had high hopes
I have watched every Friday the 13th movie multiple times, this movie had none of the charms. It was a dark gritty unenjoyable film.
I thought Corey Feldman, Dee Wallace, and Kane Hodder, this will be great. It wasn't.
I wished that I watched Kane Hodder as Stanley in Streetcar Named Desire.
If they make that watch that but don't waste your time with this crap.
Other than the scenes with Kane Hodder the best was the outtakes.
Law & Order: Fault Lines (2022)
Very interesting ripped from the headlines story
You mix Simone Biles and Brittney Spears and you get this episode. Full of twists and turns. The guest actors were excellent. Warming up to Darcy's ADA but still really can't stand Donovan's detective. It is like his personality is blah.
Dracula: The Original Living Vampire (2022)
The lighting oh the lighting
I have watched many Dracula movies but this is the worst I have ever seen. You can tell the "stars" are in their first movies. The dialogue is stilted. And poor Michael Ironside was the only good thing in this movie. This is the worst movie I have seen him in and I have watched Highlander 2.
But the worst part of it was the lighting. You couldn't see two thirds of the movie. And they had electric lamps, why was everything lighted by lamps?
Do not see this movie unless you want a terrible movie to riff on. My friend Dok had riffed on it a lot. There was less gratuitous T and A in a piranha movie. Why did we have to see dead tits over and over again.
Wow this hurt.
The Flash: The Trial of The Flash (2018)
What about the wheelchair
I love the Flash it is one of my favorite Superhero series. I also love the idea of Barry Allen being framed for a murder like his father was. But his lawyer should have asked "was there a wheelchair present?" " If not, how did DeVou get into Barry's Apartment?" "Was he killed someplace else?" " why would a killer who killed his victim somewhere else, leaving the wheelchair there, bring the victim up to his apartment?"
His lawyer did nothing except suggest he comes clean about being the flash.
Fallout, the conversation between Dibney and Joe was great giving Dibney much needed pathos and the scene in the courtroom when time stood still was cool. And the editing between the judge and Singh. One condemning Barry the other praising The Flash was very well done
I watched Crisis On Infinite Earths so I know Barry will get out of this. But my respect for the show ent down a notch.
Did I miss something, Was the wheelchair there?
Dr. Chopper (2005)
God what a terrible film
The acting was very sub-par, You had Costas Mandalar acting like Triple H's dumber forest ranger brother, a Scott McMahon look-alike as his depute who I guess your supposed to care about but there is no emotional involvement anywhere. You have the Stupid lesbian, Not that I have any thing against lesbians, i don't just stupid ones who keep running around in a punisher like shirt and a grunge like hat who keeps asking if anyone saw her dead lover.
The Villain could be scary and there is a morality tale somewhere about trying to fight age and death but it is lost in this movie. Costas Hurst Helmsley points out to the soon to be victims the way back into town, while obviously there are city lights behind him.
Also A mispronunciation of Ed Gein but pronounced it Gine. As a citizen of Wisconsin. We have had our share of Monsters Gein,Dahmer, and McCarthy, but if your going to use it pronounce it right.
God Why do i watch all these terrible films. Oh yes I am a glutton for punishment and I watch these so you don't have to.
Yin ji (1982)
It killed so many brain cells it deserves to die.
This movie was so bad I could hardly catch you up. It is a poorly dubbed Chinese Kung foo movie with Ghosts/Ghouls/Zombies, they never do make up there mind, act like they died in a tragic short bus accident. The acting is sub par. The only thing that could save it is if Bob Odenkirk used this as a sequel to Kung Pow. You have a pansy villain who will always fear the purple nurple and a black or is that a yellow magician who has no qualms about killing but draws the line at watching people have sex, Yeah like that wasn't suspicious. 3 Friends and i Watched this movie about 16 times for A MST3K experiment. The Trauma is still painful. Oh yeah Dracula shows up after the magician waves a wad of 100 dollar bills,In actuality he looks like a goth art student.
And the love interest's terrible flatulence scared the evil ghost away. because in life he was a poor bum and now is a worse ghost. We even used IMDb in our gag when we found out it got a 7 out of 10, a frelling 7. And now I see 10 people gave it a 10 out of 10. If you have a chance to see this movie. Run, leave whatever possessions you have and keep on running. If you don't, my friends John, Barry,Dok, and I will have a big told you so. We watch bad movies so you don't have to
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj (2006)
This Movie doesn't deserve the bad rap it is getting
When I saw that Van Wilder 2 The Rise of Taj was listed as the 4th worst movie and Kung Foo From Beyond the Grave had a 7. I had to write. This wasn't as good as the first one but it still had many laughs. Kal Penn was a laugh riot as well as the other British outcasts, although I am a bit of an Anglophile. Although I will grant you this It probably is a movie not to see in the theaters but at home with friends and drunk or stoned.
Nothing can compare to the doggie spunk pastries but I actually believe that the foil was better in this movie than in the first. The first foil looked like if Ashton Kutcher was dropped on his head one too many times as a child but this pompous British Birkshire Hunt was an actual huy I wanted to see humiliated. This was a solid comedy.