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Reviews
Evil Dead (2013)
A life-changing experience in the history of jokes...
I feel a little uneasy giving this movie a bad review as I must admit I had a great time watching it. I had fun, I laughed a lot and all in all was genuinely amused. The only problem is that I was supposed to be in terror.
The showing of blood or dead bodies on film usually don't startle me, I am the kind of person that finds thriller-type horrors building on psychological manipulation much more scary and interesting. This one though had a respectively good rating (considering the common ratings of the horror genre) so I thought it was worth giving a try. I was wrong. It is probably my fault considering the above-mentioned reasons but I still cannot withhold my opinion. This piece of... well, movie is a dull, trying-to-be-scary, plot less one and a half hours of boredom. I don't really care if the original 'Evil Dead' was the first of it's genre, I don't care if the new one is similar to/nothing like the old one. I only care about the fact that I was deprived of a valuable one and a half hours of my life. The plot is below average, I daresay it only slightly exists. Mia's (if that is her name) resurrection at the end is purely ridiculous in itself but the conclusion with the Abomination (or what the heck?) crawling in the mud with blood raining on it's head is a life-changing experience in the history of jokes.
Subsequently I must warn you all dear readers to beware of the blood rain as the rattling of the Abomination will haunt you forever on occasions it is essential not to laugh out loud (viz. exams, job interviews). If you crave for a night of laughter, already finished school and have a job you don't wish to replace soon, this is the movie for you. If not, stay away from it! The poster said: "The most terrifying film you will ever experience." I agree though I would definitely mention "terrifying" in a different context. But now that I think about it, "the most terrifying movie of all times" post has already been filled in by The Cloth. (Watch only if you wish to end up brain-dead.)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
Brain-dead.
Before I say anything I must admit that it is not easy to impress someone who is a great fan of the fantasy-genre like me with a film like this. I didn't have serious expectations with this one though, I only wanted to have some fun-time after a day of working. I wouldn't have been bothered if the story was a little cheesy and the characters not so well-worked-out. It seems this movie deceeded even my low expectations. The extended story of the Grimm brothers' tale, Gretel and Hansel is an unimaginative, trying-to-be-funny piece of work which was not able to hold my attention for more than half an hour. Some pictures and locations shown in the movie were beautiful and the photography was quite enjoyable. The acting was decent and although I would've expected more from these well-known actors, I can imagine they performed these dull and clichéd characters as good as they could. I won't even tire myself with pointing out the endless number of plot holes in the movie as I neither wish to be spoilery nor I want to bore anybody to death. Going into details about the nowhere near authentic weaponry would also be pointless. I keep saying myself that it was meant to be funny but after a time I found the movie's enforced humour very irritating.
I don't recommend this to people who enjoy good fantasy because they will be bitterly disappointed. I don't recommend it to people who enjoy well-thought-out stories with complex characters because this one won't give that to you. Let's see if I have any recommendations. Well, I do. If you are brain-dead after a very hard day of work or exam-period, check this out! Either you'll be even more brain-dead or you'll just laugh your wits out.
The Cloth (2013)
Nope
I have been an active member on IMDb for more than 6 years now and have never had given a movie a 1 rating. Until now. This movie does not have one feature I could praise. The acting is worse than mediocre (though to be honest I must say I watched it dubbed which could worsen the already bad situation), the story is uninteresting or I dare to say nonsense. There is not a single scene or performance I was able to enjoy. As for the music, it was so unimpressive I can't even remember any part of it that I liked. The conversations are dull and boring. I couldn't have cared less about what is going to happen to these characters: it didn't matter if they get killed or possessed or live happily ever after; the only thing I was concerned about was when this pitiful excuse for a movie is going to end.
At the end of my reviews, I like to give a recommendation as to whom I recommend and whom I don't recommend the movie in question. Well this one, I don't recommend to anyone. Not even my worst enemy...
Warm Bodies (2013)
To hell with Edward, here comes R!
Old conception, new point of view. Anyone who wishes to discover in detail the future universe in which zombies are crowding the planet, anyone who claims elaborate answers for the hows, whens and whys should go elsewhere. This movie is sweet, funny and entertaining. It possesses all the elements a good romantic comedy should and still it's not too cheesy. The performances are decent, not very memorable but believable. Nicholas Hoult's performance is beyond average. The soundtrack is excellent, it fits the movie's style and mood perfectly. All in all this one works much better than the similar-themed Twilight saga but it's not a big miracle considering that the latter doesn't work at all...
I recommend it to those who wish to be entertained by a well-thought out, funny romantic comedy with a lot of action and originality considering it's genre. I don't recommend it to people who long for long, meaningful conversations and a memorable experience because this movie is not going to give you one.
Adams æbler (2005)
Provocative. Original. Absurd. Politically incorrect. Thoroughly Entertaining.
Adams æbler is one of the best movies I have ever seen and I have seen quite a few. Awkwardly, even though it forced me to acknowledge that my personality has an intently merciless side which I didn't know existed (meaning laughing at things you are not supposed to laugh at) I found the dark humour and absurdity of the film thoroughly refreshing.
Every little scene, every conversation, every piece of music in this comedy-ish danish drama is spot on. The acting is superb and the performances are even more powerful due to a relatively small amount of characters. Anders Thomas Jensen does not spell things out for you: you are free to think what you want about religion, stereotypes, unwavering optimism or criminal behaviour. He does not judge his characters, he doesn't even take them too seriously and the result is still a surprising, incredibly entertaining piece of art which crawls under your skin and doesn't let you go for days.
I recommend it to everyone who appreciates original, provocative, inventive but still digestible art or all in all likes European filmmaking. I don't recommend it to people who tend to dislike unconventional stuff or cannot take in politically incorrect, dark humour.