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rinspeed909
Reviews
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Man, that sucked!
I'll keep it short. If you were a fan of the Texas Chainsaw franchise, you'll likely be super disappointed with this one. It feels like the writing was really lazy. They had a room of people writing down every modern day cliche and mixed it in with a horror movie.
Note: My rating is a mere reflection of the kill scenes.
Wrong Turn (2021)
Wow, What a flop.
A failed attempt at a reboot of an original horror classic. Why is it called Wrong Turn? It in no way resembles the original. They completely changed the storyline starting with group of people who I guess are supposed to represent our millennial or Gen Z today. The mountain people insist they were only trying to help one of the members before they were attacked and only wanted justice by holding a trial. Although, they literally murdered another member of the group in the scene before. One of lead members of the group pretends at first to devote his life to the mountain group in order to save his own life but then refuses to leave later when given an opportunity because he feels that he belongs there now? ehh??? It's only been a few months at most! Such a cheesy movie and we don't see the end of the main antagonist rather it's implied I guess????
The Woman (2011)
What the hell was this????
I came in expecting bad and man was it pretty bad. I had my fair share of disturbing and strange films from all around the world but this one certainly makes one of the top on my list. It's about a lawyer who plays a double life of good guy attorney during the day and sadistic asshole at night. On a hunting trip literally behind his house, he finds a feral woman living in the woods. He captures her and somehow convinces his family into "civilizing" her because it is right thing to do. And what better way to do it than to chain her up in the cellar and sexually abuse her. Oh yeah, it's also kind of hard to believe that this woman spent years in the woods without realizing that there is a whole farm next to cave she lives in. Let's skip a little to the gory scenes which we usually love about the horror movies. So the abused daughter (assumed impregnated by her sick father) frees this woman in an attempt to save her teacher who is being fed to dogs and surprise! Another feral woman being kept in a doghouse. The first feral grabs what looks to be a 2x4 or a rectangular piece of steel and manages to chop the abusive father's son right in half!! Can this get cheesier? Oh yes, it can! She then turns her attention towards the father, plunges her fist into the man's chest, lifts him off the ground, and pulls out what I'm assuming is his heart (even though it's not beating) and eats it while he dies. Sigh. There are all kinds of things wrong that I would love to chat about but if you like, you should check it out for yourself and come back and write a bad review like I am now. The film's director was obviously trying to create something unique and different but it's definitely no "Martyrs". After watching this movie, I felt like I would have been a lot more entertained watching a cheesy Mike Bay film.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Do your thing cuz! hahahha
This has got to be the most god-awful crap I've seen in a long time. Remember that old joke where you want hours of your life back for wasting it on some crap movie? Well, that's exactly how I feel now. I only watched this movie being a long time horror fan especially of the Texas Chainsaw franchise. However, I have lost all hope that there could ever be a successful relaunch in the horror genre. This movie was just bad. Instead of recommending my friends and family a good movie, I'm going to be going around warning people not to waste their time on this one. I think 4.8 rating on IMDb is plenty generous for this mistake and a half. John Luessenhop, I hope you don't pursue any further film projects. You have displayed your 0 talent in this waste of everyone's time.