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pulpgnome
Reviews
Feast III: The Happy Finish (2009)
Rubbish
Would someone please give Gulager a script worthy of his talent? It is clear in all three "Feast" films that Gulager has genuine talent as a director, but the Feast scripts are increasingly puerile. The writing is neither funny nor clever, though it is clear that it thinks it is. Give Gulager a script like The Man Who Wasn't There or In Bruges and let him shine.
No more Dunstan and Melton scripts...please! Even at the most basic levels, these screenplays are flawed. For example, in Feast II (subtitled "Sloppy Seconds" for no other reason than it makes nine-year-olds titter), characters behave inconsistently--one moment they risk their lives to save another and the next they are chickens who toss kids to monsters to save themselves--actions are implausible, and dialog is juvenile. Pouring gore onto the actors doesn't make up for a flawed story. And...there is no story here to speak of other than a bunch of cartoon characters running around getting eviscerated by monsters. If it weren't for Gulager's contribution, these films would be among the worst ever made.
Lakeboat (2000)
Mamet parodies Mamet
How to you even rate a film like this. The actors are incredible, and I love Mamet (as a general rule), but this film is flat and lifeless. One scene toward the end with Robert Forster confessing to a suicidal moment earlier in his life is the only (and I mean only) scene with any emotional impact. The rest is like a series of Mametian scenes were picked off a cutting room floor and spliced together. Sad, sad.
Look--what am I saying. What? Bad? Is that what you think? Is that what you THINK? All right, then. Bad it is. But you said it. Don't you forget that. You're the guy.
Watch Spartan instead. Much better.