dune_3001 Reviews

Colossal (2016)

A great superhero origin story without being one

[9/10 · 30 January 2018]

Colossal is a movie about people finding out they can control a giant monster and a giant robot in Seoul. It's also about making bad choices and trying to turn your life around, character growth, making amends and realizing everyone is not who they present themselves to the world.

The lead actors are great in their respective roles. It was interesting to see Jason Sudeikis play against type; Anne Hathaway was also very good and pretty much carries the film.

The movie is weird and jumps genres a lot. But that makes it great and unique. And also not for everyone. You either love it or hate it.

A few logical gapes hold it back a little - for example how is Seoul not evacuated immediately and there are still people just casually chilling in malls and cafes at the exact times they know a robot may attack.

All in all, it's pretty great though. Just give it a try and see if you like it.

Cargo (2009)

Incredibly beautiful

[8/10 · 26 May 2017]

This movie looks absolutely amazing. So much so that in that regard, it can stand toe to toe with any blockbuster Hollywood movies. I really wasn't expecting a Swiss low budget movie to have such a great presentation. Yeah, a lot of the environments repeat themselves, but it's logical, given that they are in a confined space.

The story unfortunately goes off the rails a lot. A lot of things just happen, out of the blue. Many ideas are thrown together and resolved in a predictable manner. It also feels pretty derivative of other movies, such as Alien or the Matrix. There are a lot little details that make no sense, and they just add up to ruin some of the enjoyment. The actors were fine, but no one really shined.

This film is worth a watch, even if just for the really great visuals.

Europa Report (2013)

Enjoyable, but a little predictable

[8/10 · 25 May 2017]

Found footage sucks. It's a horrible, lazy movie genre/trope and I can't stand it. That being said, if you want to make a found footage movie, the was Europa Report did it is definitely the best. The image is clear, you understand what is happening, you can hear the dialogue OK, there is no cliché part where a character is running with the camera pointed at their feet. And best of all, it makes sense why it's found footage.

The story was believable,and the actors were all great, they did a terrific job. I have a few objections to some of their actions, but for the most part, they acted and reacted as real people would, and not the way characters do because they are in a movie.

The Europa Report is a lovely little sci fi movie, really worth your time, even if you can pretty much guess the ending.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Better as a generic space horror

[6/10 · 17 May 2017]

I absolutely love Alien and Aliens, they are probably my favourite space/horror movies. Which make me incredibly sad to see this is what it has become. Cliché plot and characters you wouldn't throw your glass of water on if they were burning alive. Seriously, there were parts where I laughed at how stupid these people were.

A lot of the story didn't make sense either. Plot holes or stuff added just for the sake of it, manufactured tension between the crew for the stupidest reasons etc etc etc...

If they didn't attach the Alien franchise name to this project, it would have been a half decent space horror. Change the xenomorph into just some other space monster and find another reason for them to be there. Boom! Better movie. But this way, fans will automatically compare it with the first ones and boy, does it take a beating... How is this made by the same director?!

Life (I) (2017)

A nice popcorn flick

[6/10 · 26 March 2017]

If you are looking for something to do on a Saturday afternoon, this movie is not the worst choice. That is pretty much all it has to offer. It could barely be called horror or thriller, and the science part is absolutely laughable.

But what bothered me most was that this movie has almost no buildup. The tension is at 100% constantly, there's no slow parts to help balance it out, especially from the 20+ minute mark. And when everything is an emergency / urgency, nothing really is.

It did have a moment of "what?! the filmmakers actually did that?" at the beginning, but other than that, the action is pretty predictable, ending included.

The Babadook (2014)

Pretty great movie

[8/10 · 5 April 2016]

I'll be the first to admit that I saw this movie because of the hype. I was really skeptical and went in with low expectations. I'm a big horror fan, and usually I end up pretty disappointing by any modern takes on the genre. But to my complete surprise not this time!

"The Babadook" is first and foremost a movie with excellent pacing. The story is told piece by piece, in an unsettling way. Each shot increases the viewers uneasiness, making sure we are never too comfortable during viewing. It's greatly effective and I so wish more movies would do this. It also has this strange beauty to each shot, even though 90% of the film happens in the same set.

The only bad part about the movie was the sound editing. I was constantly having to turn up or down the volume and it became pretty annoying after a while.

Wayward Pines (2015–2016)

Only watch it if you saw all other things in existence

[1/10 · 29 January 2016]

I want to start off by saying that I was in LOVE with the first episode. It was amazing, full of mystery and it hooked you in right away. Too bad that was the absolute peak of this show.

The premise of the show is that a secret service guy is investigating his missing colleagues who have all gone to Wayward Pines, which seems to be a perfect little town, that off course, is actually not. From this point the show starts filling up with plot holes, inconsistent characters, illogical events, red herrings and some really, really stupid pseudo science that makes me think nobody involved in this show bothered to talk to a real scientist, ever. The twists in the story are also so, so, so stupid, my god...

Do yourself a favor and stay away from this for about 2000 years.

The Zero Theorem (2013)

A bit weird, a bit familiar

[8/10 · 22 August 2015]

An anti-social man is so anti-social that he wants to work only at home. That's how this bizarre, but really wonderful movie starts. From there we go down a rabbit hole of weird characters, surreal plot and math (don't worry, you don't have to get it). Granted his wish, but put on a very demanding schedule, the main character finds himself working on an unsolvable problem. His boss wants him to prove that all life is meaningless, while he himself clings to the hope of a phone call that will tell his what the meaning of his life is. Throw in a love interest and a unlikely friendship, and you get a film that will both make you think and question your beliefs.

This movie gets compared to Brazil a lot by people, and in some parts, that understandable. But actually, it's really similar to the french works of Jean-Pierre Jeunet,in everything from set design, to camera movement, to bizarre characters and motifs. I don't know if it's intentional, an homage, or maybe an accident, but it really suits the tone of the subject matter.

If nothing else, you should see this just for the scene where Tilda Swinton raps.

The Divide (2011)

A great study of characters

[8/10 · 3 August 2015]

A lot of movies did the whole "survivors stuck together try to survive each other", but not quite as vividly as The Divide. And also, not as disturbing. A simple premise - a few people escape a nuclear blast and find themselves stuck in a shelter, in the basement of a building.

Tension soon builds up and conflicts arise. As the movie progresses, the characters slowly descend into madness, whether because of the situation or the fact that they got irradiated. The actors' performance is amazing, especially of those who start losing it. You can feel yourself growing more and more afraid of them, just as the characters in the movie, a feat few other films accomplish so brilliantly.

There were some things not quite fully thought out, though. At some point, the movie introduces additional villains, in the form of soldiers in hazmat suits, but in my opinion they were unneeded. They were mainly there to give an excuse for the death/disappearance of a character and a door closed forever, but they just add confusion and those things could have been achieved in other ways. Especially since they remain unexplained in the end.

A word of caution - the movie is BRUTAL. I've seen slasher flicks with less violence, so be prepared going in.

Triangle (2009)

NOT a horror film

[9/10 · 30 July 2015]

I've started watching this film with the very strong belief that I was going to watch a horror story bordering on a slasher flick, based mostly on the misleading poster. What I ended up watching was a very good mystery thriller, with a great story and very good acting. Sure, there is blood and people do die, but it's not over the top violence just for violence's sake.

The story, which starts pretty slow, follows a group of friends who go sailing, get caught in a storm and their boat is turned upside down. But they soon find one big, empty cruise liner and they think they are saved. The perspective then shifts to Jess, and we follow her for the rest of the story. It quickly becomes clear that something is wrong. It's a feeling that get transmitted to the audience and it doesn't go away for the rest of the film.

The movie does leave some questions unanswered, and while some people may find that annoying, in my opinion it's better this way that to try to come up with bad or story-ruining explanations.

Carrie (2013)

See the original

[5/10 · 24 May 2015]

This review is a little biased. I'm a huge fan of the original Carrie, it's one of my favourite movies of all time. When I heard of the remake, I was a little skeptical. I was wrong, I should have been a LOT skeptical. Chloë Grace Moretz is a fine young actress and everything, but she doesn't give anywhere near the performance Sissy Spacek gave. This movies just lacks the intensity of the original, which built up slowly, gathering speed along the way. Whereas in the remake they hit you over the head with telekinesis abilities and magic, and witches and it takes a lot of tension out of everything.

In the 1976 version, Carrie seems like a nice, sweet girl who was dealt a bad hand and you root for her from the start. In this one she comes off as a complete psycho at the end. Even Julienne-freakin-Moore couldn't save this train wreck.

One good thing about the remake is that at the end nobody is claiming that an 18 year old girl will just be able to completely forget everything cause she's just young enough for that.

United Passions (2014)

no...just no

[1/10 · 13 March 2015]

You know all those great sports movies about the underdogs and their fight to overcome incredible odds and still win? Yeah, this movie isn't one of those. It's a movie by a sports organization full of shady people about how not shady they are. There, it's like you just watched it.

FIFA has full reigns of this production and used it to make themselves seem like the bestest people in the world, which sounds ridiculous considering all of the scandals they are involved in. As previous reviewers have said, this smells a lot like propaganda. I guess you could enjoy it if you either 1. are a desperate fan boy/girl of anything related to football, or 2. an employee of FIFA contractually obligated to like it.

As a final note, you know a movie is bad when the IMDb tag line sounds sarcastic.

Riddick (2013)

Rehashed plot and lots of CGI

[3/10 · 12 August 2014]

I loved Pitch Black with all my heart and I have watched it a number of times over the years. I really liked CoR and saw it a couple of times. I will NEVER see this movie again.

Changing cannon, CGI dogs, actors not old enough to have kids a certain age, token tough blond girl, predictable plot, a deserted planet seen three times already and infuriating stupid characters are just a few highlights of this movie. It was like seeing a dumbed down version of Pitch Black.

Also, it turns out that Riddick is so manly and badass that he cures lesbianism. So that happened.

The Killing Room (2009)

Say that again

[3/10 · 6 July 2014]

I wanted so much to like this film. The premise sounded great and it really is the kind of movie I usually enjoy. Unfortunately, the tag line was the best part of this, it all when downhill from there. The story was bland and unappealing and the "big" twist at the end just makes you wanna slap the screenwriter.

*Spoiler ahead* I guess they thought they were pretty clever by diverting expectations and showing the audience some stuff that doesn't actually happen. But instead it just makes the main character look like a heartless bitch. Which is even worse, as they previously showed her actually having a conscience.

And the absolute WORST of all this was the sound constantly shifting from "barely audible" to "ear drum shattering". What the hell?! i couldn't make out what they were saying half the time. For a movie that has intellectual pretences, that is bad. So, so bad.

Elephant (2003)

Don't even bother

[1/10 · 23 February 2014]

After having this movie recommended to me by friends and two separate teachers as one of the best movies ever, i decided to give it a try and see what it's all about. Boy, do i regret giving into peer pressure...

I'm assuming this was supposed to be a "truthful" portrait of what happened at Columbine and other high schools. A good intention. Too bad it comes off as boring, pretentious and just plain horrible. It's an hour+ of people's heads. There is no coherent plot line, no character development and it's just soooooooo boring. I suppose the filmmakers were going for artsy.

How does this movie have such a high score here?! Seriously, how? Is it just the shock factor? Columbine and high school shootings in general are real, emotional tragedies. But this movie made me want the characters to die so it can be over.

It's so bizarre that somebody could make a movie out of such a deep tragedy and turn it into a snooze fest. Don't watch this. You will never get those minutes of your life back.

Altered (2006)

Disappointing

[2/10 · 7 October 2012]

This movie started off with a great idea - a group of people hunt and kidnap an alien and then have to figure out among themselves where to go from there.

There was a lot of promise in that premise, but unfortunately it disappears somewhere along the way. From a potentially smart, sci-fi horror movie, it became a generic monster movie at some point. The most scary part of it all were the continuity errors, which stack up substantially by the end of the movie. Some of the actors perform admirable, but it's not enough to save this crash and burn of a movie. The characters are stereotypical and boring.

I've seen amazing horror movies made with a fraction of the budget of this movie (Yellow Brick Road and Dead End come to mind), and I'm guessing most of that money went towards the CG effect and alien costumes. Both of which were awful.

Only watch it if you are really,really bored and have already seen ALL other films in existence.