eddie_weinbauer-49012 Reviews

Pleasure (2021)

Survives on what brief nudity there is

[1/10 · 15 January 2022]

The story is supposedly about a Swedish girl,who travels all the way from Sweden to Hollywood/LA to become a porn star.

The biggest problem is,it's too late. Hot Girls Wanted Covered most of what this documentary(cause that basically what it is. Though they try to present it as a movie) Tries to show you.

The problem is, you don't care about the anyone in it. They are All equally boring,and totally uninteresting.

It doesn't really help that the movie shows nothing, that sets em apart from each other.

It comes of like student film. Only instead of showing student life it shows pornstar life

Only thing I got out of it,was how difficult it is for a women, to shave her privates.

The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 2: The Tribes of Tatooine (2022) Season 1, Episode 2

Too much showing of face

[3/10 · 6 January 2022]

CSI. Had David Caruso, removing his glasses off every other minute.

The Book of Boba.. Has Temuera Morrison take off his helmet every few minute, just so they can sell the actors face ,. It gets stupid. Here's the thing disney. The CSI Drinking Game.... Isn't a compliment. So when someone invent a boba fat drinking game,don't take it as such.

Another thing. Why on earth did they attempt the great train robbery,from the heavily fortified sides.

I mean Boba was suppose to be this great strategist. So why attack from the heavily armed side? When you had the back of the train, with no defense at all.

It seem like the creators,can't decide between making a scfi version of for a fist full of dollars. = Boba fat holding the town, against the jabba's Or A Scfi version of Dances with wolfs. Boba bonding with the native sand people. Neither of the two versions, are very successfully transferred into scfi.

It seem like the creators can't.

The Simpsons in Plusaversary (2021)

Was this

[1/10 · 14 November 2021]

A Simpson episode or a 5min Disney commercial.

The closes thing they came to actually be satire was vague hinting, Goofy was gay.

Guess that what happens when disney own to much. Soon there probably homer simpson team park. Were you can park your trail trash dad.

No Time to Die (2021)

In the past

[4/10 · 13 November 2021]

We've been spared the overly American, bastardization of Bond. Sadly no longer.

In this movie they have all the cliche boxes ticked off. Dull story line, Never finishing off,the bad guy. Just so he can come back and fight you later.

Than "we" copy the famous interview scene, from the Silence of the lambs. The list goes on.

90 min in I started to get really bored. There are to many prolonged scenes that don't go anywhere,they are there just to be fillers.

And everytime something action dramatic happens, James stand there for half a minute just gazing at it.=Typical American movies. But very untypical James bond movies.

Also James bond is suppose to be top notch,best of the best. Yet we constantly see him struggle in hand to hand combat,with opponents a man of his caliber really shouldn't have trouble with.

Rami Malek as the Main bad guy was a mistake,but I guess they wanted to use his name. Fresh of the Freddie mercury movie an all. Which is another typical American move.

The female lead in the Cuba scene was interesting, but they clearly had trouble deciding how she should play it. First they portray her as a rank amateur,than she is suddenly a professional agent.

Another thing that bother me with the movie. It came of very computer game like,in several action Scenes.

Just walking out in the street, shooting randomly left and right. Hitting bad guys,wherever they hide.

As other have pointed out, the movie is way too long for its ovn good. The acting is very sub par. Though I will say the chase scene in the beginning was excellent shot.

Night Teeth (2021)

What a disaster of a movie

[1/10 · 6 November 2021]

Here's the story. Some wet behind the ear school kid,who couldn't get laid in a morgue.

Takes on a chauffeur job for his brother. Which you immediately know will go down hill.

Turns out he gonna be driving two vampires around. Who are supposedly so bad ass, that they can kill everyone they come across .No matter the odds.

And that is just what they do. They taking out the vampire version. Of the entire mob family.

The previous mentioned. Wet behind the ear kid comes along for the ride, cause he just soo in love with one of the killers/vampires and, he hopes it will get him laid.

Along follow a long string of bad decisions, on his part. But at this point you really don't care about him,or any of the other characters. Cause you have given up on the entire thing. The story is so boring ,you are lucky if you haven't fallen a sleep by this point

The acting is horrible at best. The only thing worth watching is the two sexy vampire Assassins. And certainly not for their acting skills.

As a vampire movie this is a train wreck.

Pedicab Driver (1989)

Far from his best

[2/10 · 10 October 2021]

Considering this is from the era were Jackie, Samo And Yuen Biao peaked. This is kind of lame. Most of the fight scenes are fairly good. But hey lack the humor that makes em great. In jackies movies you always have some sort of humor interwoven into the fight scenes. Here that is mostly lacking. Also,you don't really care for any of the characters. They bore you instead. And you just wanna get to the next fight scene.

Most of the fight scenes with samo,are simple elegantly mastered, and choreographed. Others you can clearly see him holding back,waiting for the counter punch, instead of reacting.

I will give this two only for the fight-scenes and the stunts.

Cry Macho (2021)

Kind a like, Sly's Over the Top

[1/10 · 2 October 2021]

Minus the Arm Wrestling,and the rest of the action scenes.

This is basically a long slow drama. About how and old over the top rodeo star/cowboy. Out of the blue, decide to do a favor for the guy who just insulted him, and fired him. 2min ago. AKA his Now old Boss

I dunno if something got lost on the cutting room floor or not. But there seem to be several plot holes. Like why would your boss hire you,after you got fired.. Even better why would you accept,when he just insulted you.

Some of the motives here,are a bit unclear. Like why he chose clint for this particular job. Cause he really is over the hill,and way to old for this stuff. He grates is wheel legged and a bit shuffling.

After that it's just a short drive to Mexico. (Where the mother apparently lives on a ranch or a hacienda) To pick up the very same EX Boss's kid. From his abusive crazy mother,and bring him back into Texas.

But somehow, she knows he is coming.(You never get to know why) And after a small conversation,she tells him where her son hangs out. That he is welcome to take him with him,back to Texas. If he can find him.

Than later after failing at trying to seduce Clint. Which he handled very ungracefully. She change her mind,says he can't take her son with him. Threaten him with Federales etc.

But the kid manage to sneak into his car. And it's from there the real movie starts. But also some of the major plot holes. Like why did it take less than two days to drive into texas. But seem to take weeks to get back to texas. Not to mention,even when he know the mothers Henchmen are after him. He seem to stop in every small town along the way. Just to make it a road movie with a stepfather &son bonding theme movie.

It's greatly filmed but the acting from everyone, is just poor. At this old age ,I will say Clint peaked With Grand torino and trouble with the curve.

Threesome (2021– )

Interesting concept

[6/10 · 6 September 2021]

The whole things start with the main couple going to a bar. Than meeting up with someone, and from there going to party. As the night progress, the Girl Siri instigate a threesome. Her boyfriend While quite reluctant about it, he ends up going along with the idea.

Than the morning after his girlfriend Siri, has sobered up and feels jealous and insecure about he whole ordeal.

It's here the real drama of the series start.

Chemistry between the two actors who play Siri & David Doesn't really feel real. They come off a bit too much, as an onscreen couple. Fore someone who's been together 7 years I expect more natural chemistry. More floating dialogue and movement. Everything seem so directed,and scripted.

It often lacks the chemistry people who've been together, for a long time have . Especially young couples.

But the acting isn't bad, by any means. It's just everything feels so constructed, the dialogue the interactions etc.

Snake Eyes (2021)

Ninja's Died with the end of the 80s

[1/10 · 4 September 2021]

When Sho kosugi Retired form being a onscreen Ninja. The whole ninja franchise died along with it, The way of filming they had back than,were they used wide shot so you could see the "ballet" and the gracefulness in the fighting, is gone.

Today they use Shaky cams. Cause they don't have actors, who can actually do Martial Arts. So instead. They give em a crash course,than use shaky cam and close up to cover up how bad they are at it.

This film is god awful bad. It's characters have no depth, and you take no interest in them. Nor their story arc.

Storms shadow, look like a cheap pimp, who belongs more in a cheap suit.

Snake Eyes/ Henry Goulding is terrible. And look like a poor mans Chow Yun Fat, only with far less conviction to what he says,and do. Actually Chow yun fat , is also more believable as fighter/martial arts expert, than Henry. Even though neither of them have any background in martial arts.

As others has pointed out, the characters trying way to hard to be cool & look like they have a problem taking it all serious.

The story in the movie it self,is really confusing. Something bout smugling guns from the US, into japan to fight a clan. I didn't quite grasp what the clan war was about. But someone has mentioned something a bout a magic stone. Maybe that was the case. Either way. The movie was boring. Go watch the old Sho kosugi ninja movies instead. They may be cheesy, but at least the actors can fight and the filming is superb.

Black Widow (2021)

Are you kiddin me???

[2/10 · 10 July 2021]

This is so lame. They basically copied everything the Avengers had,and made it Russian. They have the hover jet. They have their own version the S. H. I. E. L. D Air Ship. They have even their own Capetian America and Hawk Eye mashed into one robotic person. With shield and Bow. They even made the amour red white and blue

Really was this the best you could come up with????

Thew movie starts out fairly good, Some good fast paced action(Some of it a bit too over the top though) They seem to wanna go down the same path ,as they've done with Fast And Furious. They make their heroes too over the top.

Natasha takes a fall from a great height, and hit every thing she possibly can on the way down. Yet she she just stand up and walks it off.

Here's the thing .Natasha DOESN'T have super powers. You can call her super hero all you like,but the truth is she is the weakest of the Avengers. With no super powers at all,she is the weak link.

She can hold her own in hand to hand combat with Humans, But that is the basic of her strength

The fight sequences aren't all bad.

Some of them are pretty good. Whenever they dare using a wide shot. Instead of up close. (which is rare in the movie) But they also, rely to much on wire stunt. Which I think is a bad thing. Some of it work. But a lot of it just get to over the top.

Sadly the movie also has to many "look at me pauses" when they're about to do some action.

Hollywood should learn From Old Jackie Chan movie here.

He usually just did the moves. Mostly his moves floated into each other. Hollywood always have these moments where they pause, so the heros strike a pose for the camera. And the enemy just stand around gaping in awe.

Like whenever Natasha jumps and lands. She lands with one foot out to the side. This may look like cool action in the comix. But in real life it doesn't work. They even make fun of it in the movie. Calling it a pose.

The movie was mildly entertaining but the acting as very stiff in places.