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weiner7
Reviews
Equalizer 2000 (1987)
Amazingly Entertaining, Amazingly Bad
This movie was from an acting, production and plot standpoint awful. The movie is set in a post apocalyptic earth where oil is a natural resource is fought over by tribes of humans. The main character Slade dislikes the "evil empire" the Ownership, who controls most of the ownership. Through a random plot twist Slade joins Corrine Wahl's tribe and manages to build a 6 barreled super gun that shoots lasers and grenades and weird disks and all sorts of cool stuff. Of course the Ownership wants this gun, and tries to steal it. I'll let you figure the end out.
I think that this might have one of the lowest production values of any movie I have ever seen. The entire movie is shot in primarily two locations in one canyon. As far as props they asked every actor to bring their own props. About 3 people have matching outfits, while the rest are just hodgepodges of random stuff spray painted silver to try to be more consistent. The buildings are poorly made shacks from random building materials actors had. As for the weapons everyone asked their 5 year old for his toy gun, and brought it to work. If they didn't have kids they just used PCP pipe.
However the complete junkiness of everything, above average fight scenes and terrible acting makes this movie enjoyable. Although the plot was extremely simplistic it kept me gripped, and I actually wanted to finish the movie, which is more than i can say about a lot of movies with quality similar to this one.
Troll 2 (1990)
Horrible
This is probably the worst movie that I have ever seen which is saying a lot because i make a point to watch bad movies and find the worst. First off the plot was probably written by a 5 year old and a man who was on crack. At one point to defeat the monsters the kid pulls out a "double decker bologna sandwich" he throws it at the goblins which hurts them because meat is their weakness, that kind of idiocy sums up the movie.
The story revolves around a boy named Joshua who has visions of his grandfather's ghost telling him about goblins. The kid's family meanwhile is switching houses with a family from a small town calledNilbog (Goblin backwards) of course this means that the townspeople are really goblins disguised as humans that they to get Joshua and his family to come to their town. the only way that the goblins will eat the humans is if the humans will eat a green substance that looks like cake that "chlorophies" humans, or turns them into a plant. The plot only gets worse from there, as the residents of Nilbog constantly try to get Joshua and his family to eat their food, while Joshua and his Grandpa's ghost try to stop them. Another big problem that I have with this movie is that it is called Troll 2, while the word troll is not used once in the entire movie. In fact it is about goblins. Maybe they should have called it Goblin, it might have made more sense that way.
This is the worst acted movie that I have ever seen. The kid who is probably 7-8 yrs old is the best actor by far. It makes me wonder if the director spent all the film's budget on green icing (which there is a lot of) and was forced to make his own family do the acting.I think that my friends and I could have done better acting. The only reason that i give this film a 1 is because there is no .5 or 0. That said, if you want to watch a terrible movie and get a good laugh from it, this is for you. I laughed many times at the ridiculous plot twists, cheesy score, bad acting, and complete awfulness of this movie. On the other hand if you want to see anything that has the slightest semblance of a decent movie please don't rent this. And no matter what don't buy it.