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Reviews
The Laundromat (2019)
Sounds more promising that what it delivers
The storyline sounded interesting and not something I had heard about, and the cast seemed a surefire hit with some well known names, so I thought why not? While watching it though, I lost what the film was actually about; there's too many characters, subplots, and Gary Oldman's accent was annoying to the point of distraction. This could've been so much more had there been less subplots, less mindless chatter and some actual comedy to boot. I still don't get how it all tied together with a "revenge" insurance scam premise. It could've been clever with a better script and more direction. Not funny, just boring.
Alice, Darling (2022)
Lacklustre
Anna Kendrick's growing on me and I like the stuff she's done besides comedy but I found this film quite boring. I kept waiting for something to happen, for it to be explained why her boyfriend's so bad to her, but I was left flummoxed, was he that bad? What would've brightened it up was her hitting him with the "axe" or something. The chemistry between the female characters was good, but I failed to see what the subplot of the missing girl had to do with it all? I was expecting it to be tied in (like somehow she was a victim of his) The sex scene was also awkward and unnecessary and the flashbacks didn't make sense. Would only watch once.
Punky Brewster (2021)
Cheesy but nostalgic
I wanted to love this since Punky was a big part of my childhood. It was great to see Cherie and Punky reunite, but that's where it ends for me. The kids are annoying, apart from Izzy (love that she's how Punky used to be!) and the acting is cheesy. Shame everything has to be politically correct too. Wish George Gaines could've been around to reprise his role, glad they remembered him though.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Painful...the acting not the movie
Chris Rock is just painful to watch in a serious role. His jokes are cheap and lousy. I don't know why modern filmmakers now have to have "politically correct" drones ranting on about whites and blacks, it gets boring really fast. Storyline is weak but the kills are gruesome. The only saving grace as usual was Samuel L Jackson.
Candyman (2021)
Boring
I was eager to see this as an original Candyman fan, but wish I hadn't bothered. The dialogues were long, overused and boring, there's no depths or likability to the characters and the forced political messages were done to death (Pun intended) I was excited especially to see Tony Todd reprising his role, only for him to be in it at the very end, and having another Candyman in his place was confusing as hell. The only good points were Tony Todd and Vanessa Williams reprising their roles, shame they weren't in it longer. They might as well have brought back Virginia Madsen, at least it would've been more interesting.
Play or Die (2019)
Awful
Wish I hadn't bothered. The characters are unlikeable and the accents are off putting. Looks like it was made by filmmaking students. You won't be any the wiser for the ending either. Avoid.
Human Zoo (2020)
Boring
Utterly boring. The first half hour seemed interesting (though badly acted) but that's where it ends. Nothing changes throughout and the ending was lack lustre. There's a part of my life I'll never get back. Avoid.
Scream (2015)
Persevered
I've watched all the Scream movies and wondered how they could possibly make it into a tv series, so I gave it a shot. The beginning was the typical Scream style, after that it went downhill. The characters are hollow, I didn't even care to remember their names or if they died. The storyline is weak and the script is even worse. Trying to be modern and up to date made it just awkward and the end of the first season wasn't really a cliffhanger. Watched season 2 to see if it got better, sadly it didn't. Won't be watching the next season.
Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
All over the place
Was looking for something Stranger Things-ish and came across this. Haven't read the books so came in expecting nothing. Wish I hadn't bothered. The kids are unlikeble, the film was all over the place and they try to cram lots of songs in over a short space of time - which made no sense. Didn't care if the characters lived or died to be honest since there's no depth to any of them.
Cupid (2020)
More wooden than a fence
The acting was terrible, the bully girl was irritating and the accents were all mixed up. The time spent watching it will never be returned to me. Avoid.
Thunder Force (2021)
Not worth a watch
I find with Melissa McCarthy, her films can be hit and miss. I really enjoyed The Heat and Spy, so was excited when I saw she had a new film out. The film is good for the first half hour, after that it's like they ad libbed most of the lines and it became unbearable to watch. Its predictable, slow moving and in the end I had it as background noise. Sorry Melissa, this was a miss for me. Octavia Spencer couldn't even save the movie and her "daughter" became irritating after a while. Did love Jason Bateman though, he did it for me. Otherwise I wouldn't watch it again.
Charlotte (2017)
Don't bother
I don't normally write reviews but I was compelled with this one. This movie is about a doll who holds hostage and tortures a teen babysitter, forcing her to watch an anthology of movies whilst being tied up. The acting throughout is so bad and none of the stories make any sense? I kept watching hoping they would tie together somehow, but instead I realised sadly it's time I'll never get back. Instead I was left scratching my head in bemusement and wishing I'd watched paint dry instead!