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Reviews
Asteroid City (2023)
Another movie that makes me hate Hollywood...
Don't get me wrong, I always want some depth and creativity when it comes to my movies but "Asteroid City" is the definition of pretentious, pointless filmmaking. Self indulgent and a waste of time, "Asteroid City" is yet another 'high-minded' project where the actors recite their lines like monotone robots (which is somehow supposed to imply superior intelligence and emotional depth?) without the guidance of an actual plot or story. I loved "Moonrise Kingdom" so I know Wes Anderson is capable of better but can we stop praising and rewarding arrogance and 'pedigree' and get back to simple, effective storytelling? Great cast, visually interesting but still...I want the 105 minutes of my life that "Asteroid City" wasted back!!!
Smile (2022)
A Horrific Waste of Time...
Where to begin with this $100+ million grossing idiocy? The 'smile' marketing ploy is just that...a plot convention with no explanation. People who read too much into this film in terms of childhood trauma...I'm sorry for what you went through but don't project your issues onto a cinematic piece of junk like this. Two hours of my life completely wasted. I would rather watch a mediocre exploitative gore-fest like "Terrifier" than this pile of garbage. The only reason I give it two stars instead of one is because the lead actress is somewhat convincing in dealing with her psychodrama. Avoid this film!!!
The Magician (2005)
A so-so introduction to "Mr. In-Between"...
I was devastated when "Mr. In-Between" ended in mid-2021 after three short but fantastic seasons. I haven't explored the reasons why the show came to a screeching halt just when buzz was really starting to build but I did stumble upon "The Magician"...a low-budget 'prequel' (not an origin tale) exploring the early (?) years of Ray Shoesmith (the fantastic Scott Ryan). The ending of "The Magician" throws a timeline curveball to anyone who watched the FX series but creative license allows for the bending of time and space, right? I found the "Blair Witch" handheld camera perspective shocking and effective in a few key scenes but overall it came off as dull and tedious. Call him 'The Magician' or 'Mr. In-Between'...let's just hope someone calls Ray Shoesmith back into action soon!
Aquaman (2018)
DC's spotty film legacy further degraded by a hipster doofus superhero
Let me start with this...after watching the three most recent DC films ("Wonder Woman 84", "Shazam!" and "Aquaman"), I still haven't liked a single movie in the revamped DC Universe. I held off on watching "Aquaman" for a few years...a couple of friends told me it was great but a whisper in my mind cautioned me to stay away. I should have listened to my brain. The computer-generated special effects are so prevalent and overwhelming that you feel like you're watching a combo animated movie/video game...an underwater "Transformers" mess. I really wanted to like Jason Mamoa as Arthur but the 'surfer dude' dialogue he spews is just too childish and idiotic for me to tolerate. If a worthless effort like this can make over $300 million at the domestic box office, we're all doomed to suffer through dozens and dozens of similar big-budget immature spectacles in the future...
The Little Things (2021)
Solid murder mystery, expected more...
Like a majority of reviewers, I was drawn to "The Little Things" by the three lead actors (all Oscar winners). While Denzel Washington and Jared Leto were excellent, I thought Rami Malek was a bit tepid. The ending is both ambiguous and satisfying. I imagine a large percentage of people who watch this film will feel cheated but I thought the conclusion was appropriate. Not a modern-era crime classic like "Seven" or "The Usual Suspects" but it'll do in these uncertain times...like the 'clue' disclosed in the final minutes, "The Little Things" could be seen as a sliver of hope that will save some and haunt others.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
An insult...stupid beyond belief
Could be the worst film I've ever watched. I saw a great cast listed in the credits and figured it could be a fun zombie movie riff. Wrong. This is the type of film that makes people wonder if Hollywood celebrities (like Bill Murray) aren't just laughing at us as they take our money. Tilda Swinton looking like a samurai version of Edgar Winter isn't funny...it's just pathetic. Jim Jarmusch should be required by law to give anyone who paid for a movie ticket for this garbage (or bought the DVD) a refund for their hard-earned money immediately...
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
DC Still Can't Get It Right...
I wasn't the biggest fan of 2017's "Wonder Woman" but it was still an enjoyable DC flick. Gal Gadot looked perfect as Diana Prince. I struggled with her acting ability but I figured "Hey, she'll get better as she settles into the role"...
Nope. Not even close.
Gadot still seems uncomfortable delivering her lines; it's actually painful to listen to her at times. "WW84" makes things worse by throwing a miscast Kristen Wiig in as a villain. Ugh. If I actually cared about "SNL" anymore, I would love to see a skit with Gadot hosting and Wiig returning for a cameo. The problem is that the skit probably wouldn't be funnier than their scenes together in "WW84"...
Acknowledging many of the other reviews posted here, there are ridiculous inconsistencies in the plot. The two most glaring issues for me...the fighter plane flight from DC to Cairo (fuel capacity isn't an issue?) and the thousands upon thousands of people who all must renounce their wishes in order to end worldwide chaos. Good luck with that...
I'll give "WW84" a marginally positive review for being cheesy fun but the bar has been set very high for superhero films over the last few decades. "WW84" is definitely at the lower end of the comic book movie ratings scale...