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Reviews
Lost Ollie (2022)
This is bad....
Terrible... the actors don't seem to care enough to try, every accent in this is so bad it made me cringe. The dialogue was just insane, half the time it felt like the writers were inserting random conversations with no context just to fill up time, then at other times scenes go on forever with nothing happening in them. The animation only looks good in close ups without a lot of movement the second the toys start to move around it looks like a mess. The plot is tired and so full of tropes and cliches I was rolling my eyes 20 minutes into it. I won't even talk about the numerous failed attempts at humour. Every scene with Billy and Ollie has this tragic background music like I'm meant to be crying every time I see them talking about being friends or playing. Everything about this is trying too hard and nothing has the impact it's trying to have...
Don't bother, all these reviews saying it's great don't trust them. People will say anything is good as long as it plays up to the nostalgia of being young and forces some badly written 'personal family issues' into the plot...
Doctor Who: Can You Hear Me? (2020)
No...
Ugh... the plot of this episode is something you'd get if you asked a person who's never watched or read any sci fi or fantasy to write it after giving them a very short and bad explanation of the main premise of Doctor Who. Psychotic immortals who can't feel so they torture beings who can... I can't even begin to explain how overdone and cliche that idea is.
This show has managed to turn into the exact opposite of what it started out as. It is now, specifically, just a style over substance show. Because it does look great, the sets, costumes and effects look great and the stories and plots are nonsensical, boring and tropey. When it started the effects were terrible, and the sets and costumes looked cheap af but none of that mattered and nobody cared because the plot was amazing and the characters had depth.
I don't have much to say about this episode. It was as usual, predictable, and the two immortals were cardboard cut outs. I mean how can you manage to have two characters that never die and have lived for Millenia and have unbelievable powers but are as boring as watching paint dry?
Doctor Who: Orphan 55 (2020)
I get it...
I stopped watching this show halfway through season 10 when it was airing. Then decided to rewatch all off it recently.
I have only watched all the seasons once so going through them again was great since I barely remembered anything.
And I was kinda sure that the fan base was being overly critical of the new era. I was so sure, right up until I watched it... the show has always been preachy, but it was in a very undefined kind of way. It preached being good and talking through problems rather than punching your way through. And now it preaches on literally any and all currently popular subjects while at the same time giving no attention to story or character development.
It's boring. You pretty much know exactly how each episode is going to end. There are no twists no surprises everything is focused on current issues but even with all that focussing it's done so badly and written by someone who very obviously has no idea about those issues and is getting all their info from Twitter.
Half the lore of the previous seasons is ignored and the other half is included only when it's convenient or when a handy old villain is needed.
This episode... I mean. The second episode of this new run of the show was about Rose going to watch the sun go nova. With The Doctor clearly stating that the human race had made it to the rest of the galaxy. And this theme continues for the next 10 seasons, humanity moves beyond the stars and earth doesn't destroy itself.
But, who needs pre established canon when you can use a nuclear wasteland earth as a global warning lesson. And since when has the show ever had multiple timelines? The fact that the characters were there on that earth automatically establishes it as a fixed point in time... ugh whatever I don't care anymore I'm gonna go watch the sandman and hope it hasn't been completely butchered.
The Valet (2022)
Ridiculous
I only have one thing to say about this movie...
He's 60 years old and she's 30. The age gaps in Hollywood are becoming disgusting. You think it's ok because the women are adults but all it's doing is desensitising the audience to old men sleeping with young girls.
Doctor Who: The Rebel Flesh (2011)
Us vs Them... again...
There are so MANY of these episodes in the show. You know what I mean, the whole 'human vs whatever happens to be different from them in this episode' plot. Aliens, copies, some form of new life that's never been encountered before, etc. It's such a constantly used plot element in every season I'm slightly surprised that I appear to be the only person who's tired of it. And, it's always just everyday humans, not military or government, it's always a group of everyday people living their lives until the doctor shows up and discovers that 'something' is happening, and then all those normal people suddenly turn into vicious killers and xenophobes...
It's just too weird tbh. The people in this episode are literally factory workers before they decide that they absolutely must murder the very alive copies of themselves. Im sorry, but, who do you know that would react this way?
Also, spending two whole episodes just to tell us that Amy is a copy is one hell of a filler. But this whole season is a mess so you know...
The Umbrella Academy (2019)
Season 3 though...
To be honest I thought that by season 3 most of the audience would start to get sick of the way the plot moves in this show.
It was fun and entertaining for 2 seasons, watching the main characters ignoring each other while doing their own thing and then inexplicably being reunited for the last episode to deal with the big bad.
But at this point it's becoming frustrating right? Watching one or two or three characters receive vital information and just not tell any of the others, hence causing the others to do stupid things to get that vital information they already had. And just generally watching them all ignore each other while doing what they want, while never working together or listening to anyone.
I haven't watched the whole season, and I'm honestly fine with the time travel plot, I'm sure it will have some ridiculous explanations and plot holes because all time travel plots do. I don't care about that.
I do care that I'm watching characters that never learn. That never try anything different because otherwise the plot wouldn't happen. All of the characters in this show are narcissistic and slightly psychotic, and they all have exactly one thing as their only motivation for doing anything. Apart from that their just cardboard cut outs, who go around causing the problems they appear to be fixing. There's nothing interesting about them except for the fact that they're constantly screwing up, but somehow still manage to save the world. Which is believable like once, even the second time was pushing it but at this point it's just an eye roll situation.
Farzar (2022)
Family Guy ruined adult animated comedy...
Just having all of your characters act like complete a**holes who care about nothing, are homicidal and can't say one whole sentence without swearing isn't funny.
I see this a lot in recent adult animation. It was funny like once. But now they're everywhere. Shows who's main characters are all just narcissistic wh*res and the joke is that everyone is a psychopath.
Loveland (2022)
The plot...
Let's ignore for a second that this movie is just an hour and 30 minutes of literally nothing but moody scenes and city shots, and focus on the actual 10 minutes of plot we do get. Jack falls in love and starts to get sick so he finds a scientist, he finds him apparently by picking some kind of chip of the ground? Did the chip fall out when the Android was hit by the car? Does this make sense in any way? Definitely not, but again, ignore it. He finds the scientist and the guy helps him. Another hour of nothing and we find out that Jack was in an experiment while young, an experiment that stopped his body/brain from producing the chemicals associated with deep emotion. How this actually stops him from feeling emotion isn't explained because it's not actually stopping him from it. It appears that his life's circumstances have just created a series of events that have made him become cold and uncaring? Because he falls very deeply in love with a girl, even though the audience can't tell because having leads with chemistry wasn't an option, their in love because the movie tells you they are. And because of this Jack is dying, because his body isn't used to the very small amount of chemicals created by happy feelings? An amount that is so negligible, any body would get used to it over time without you even noticing and would in no way ever kill you. Plus, let's not forget that if Jack just stays healthy and avoids falling in love again, he can live forever. He can live forever! Because apparently the aging process just never happens if your body stops producing the tiny amounts of chemicals associated with emotion.
Of course Jack ignores this 'coz he's in love man. But the girl betrays him and leaves and that's it. If he doesn't see her he obviously can't love her, they need to be in the same room for love to occur. Anyway Jack survives and that's it...
I get the big idea/message behind this plot. Being willing to give up humanity for immortality etc. But literally no part of the actual plot we are given makes any kind of sense. Look it doesn't need to be completely accurate considering the idea here, what it does need is set up, we're just told near the end of the movie that without emotion Jack can live forever. But how did this shady corporation get to that point? It feels like the first thing they tried just happened to work. Sure the scientist mentions having done horrible things to have what Jack has but we're not given any indication what those things are.
And that's it, that's the whole movie. There's a few subplots that make no sense and are literally just Jack tries to find his dad but he's dead, and the scientist turns of the life support/cryo for some guy he cared deeply about. We don't even know who this guy was to him? Son/lover/friend? Your guess is as good as mine...
So yeah that's it.
Pam & Tommy (2022)
People still care about this?...
Another show about famous people that I care little about that's trying to convince me that everything portrayed in it is definitely what happened. I'm always amazed at just how long normal people continue to care about celebrity scandals. It's been over 20 years and people still actually care about the sex tape these two idiots produced.
Look to be honest I stopped watching when I realised the show was blaming the sex tape for the decline of Pams career. That woman would be exactly where she is now without the tape ever having left their house.
It got even worse when they started milking the heavy feminist angle of poor playboy model gets treated like she was asking for it because she poses nude for money.
So yeah didn't see the last few episodes, don't think it was that many? Maybe 2? At most, and I also care very little about what happened in those episodes.
The only entertaining character was the carpenter, and that was only because it was hilarious watching him decline in sanity and intelligence as the show progressed. He somehow started out at average adult intelligence and ended up being so way below that line that it was hard to swallow sure, but still funny to watch.
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
This is bad all the way through... (spoilers)
Ever seems to think the ending ruined this season, but honestly there was nothing to ruin. It's bad, predictable and cliche from episode 1. The reasons and writing used to get Dexter from being the slightly new but loved guy in town are seriously ridiculous. His GF finding out his real identity because of Harrison's first name literally made me gag. This is the kind of weak reasoning and plot used in actual soap operas. The podcaster chick was gross. The kind of character 45 year old dudes write and think they did good representing someone from a younger generation.... At the very least, I will say that this season was more bearable than the last two season of the original show. It was dragged out so much due to popularity that it turned into a joke. You know ppl keep saying things like 'oh I wish they would remake this show or that movie, or pick up an old but good cancelled series' haven't we learned by now? When did such a situation ever turn out well??
Merlin (2008)
It's a Legend...
I do not like this show in any way. The plot is repetitive and bad writing + characterisation ruin any charm it may have had early on. It's almost a monster of the week formula, and would be except for the very tenuous threads of an overarching plot.
But... it's really sad seeing so many people complaining about the inaccuracies in the show.
If you know the Arthurian legend so well already because you have already consumed so much media based around it, how could you possibly want to be consuming the exact same story yet again? Are you just more comfortable with something nostalgic?
Most of the complaints appear to be about Gwens job and skin colour and Merlins age and lack of beard... I could maybe understand if the Arthurian legend were a popular comic that got a bad adaptation... but the Arthurian legend is just that, a legend. There are literally no actual 'true' or 'canon' versions of this story. You can't say that's wrong it wasn't like that in the original. There is no original...
The Mindy Project (2012)
Terrible.... (Spoilers)
I can't believe this was written by a women...
Mindy's personality is funny for about 2 episodes before it becomes horrifying to watch her yelling at people about how skinny she is... Mindy looks great in this show, I think she's stunning in it, but her constant proclamations about how small, dainty, fragile etc she is are in no way 'empowering'. After the first few laughs, when it just keeps going and going you start to feel really disgusted by her need to be told that she's attractive.
Then the one time she actually starts to get her act together with her business and child, the man she's dating turns into a misogynist and attempts to control every aspect of her life, demand she quit her job and just 'stay at home with the baby'... and the reasons used to make Danny still appear like a good guy even though he's doing all this are insanely ridiculous. They break up then, live apart and Danny gets engaged to someone else BUT sleeps with Mindy again tells her he's going to break the engagement and doesn't actually end up doing it... because Mindy won't completely change herself to fit his view of the perfect family... it's seriously messed up. Like I said I can't believe the creator is a woman and was ok with this plot line.
Anyway, I wouldn't recommend this since Danny and Mindy start dating pretty early on and after that the whole show is basically about their relationship, and it's a toxic af relationship...
A Tale Dark & Grimm (2021)
Not bad until you get to the end...
This was ok right up until the end. Don't expect it to actually be dark and grimm or creepy though. It's really not, not even children would find this dark. The narrators may keep telling you, over and over and over again that something horrible is happening, but it's all just the usual fairy tail stuff. You know, souls being stolen by a cute warlock, werewolves, a terribly childish version of hell where sinners are tortured in pools of urine... stuff like that. But still, it was entertaining.
Right up until the end.
That's when it turns into your usual Disney movie for children. In which only the children know what's really going on, they're the only ones who are smart, all the adults are complete idiots and treat the children like children instead of telling them about everything. And of course right at the end, it's the children who are 'in charge' of resolving the final fight and saving the kingdom!
I can't imagine why and child would like a story where the adults are incapable of doing anything right. I just don't understand to be honest. If I were a child who was being told through media that adults are idiots I would be very worried, since I'd be living in the care of adults...
Sex Education (2019)
Season 3 is a disappointment
I'm 2 episodes into the third season and everything is already an eye roll inducing seizure waiting to happen.
Apparently the writers after having written 2 amazing seasons of original content have suddenly turned into walking cliches. It's just so easy to introduce a white young female VILLAIN who goes around just trampling on every single characters individuality and tries to generally oppress the vibe of the school. It's literally every tween high school movie ever made, the evil principal is stopping the teenagers from being who they really are! What a tragedy! We can't possibly have rules at a school! Especially ones that won't allow you to have piercings or, gasp, dye your hair!
Just... terrible. I would recommend taking season 2 as the last season of this show, at least it had a great ending. I can guarantee that this show is just going to be the next milk it for all it's worth teen show that's been stretched and pulled past it's use by date into obscurity.
Clickbait (2021)
Just... barely meh...
It starts out strong with the video of Nick and the threat of him being killed at 5 mil views. But, from then on it just gets worse and worse until it manages to kick itself into a boring repetitive cycle. Even though the main character is switched in each episode we don't really get to see the situation from their point of view, because all these characters are so bland and lacking in depth that they have no discernible point of view.
It's a mess basically. The 'twist' is obvious from the moment you find out that Nick was allegedly cheating on Sophie. And that part too, was transparent.
The worst part for me though, was the 'reaction' the reporter had when he found the messages on Sarahs phone. I can't for the life of me understand how what was said in those txts could be considered 'emotional abuse'. Sarah was mentally unstable before she met this 'Jeremy', she met him on a hook up/dating website and then turned into a depressed stalker when things didn't play out like a fairy tail and 'Jeremy' wasn't Prince Charming. Then he tells her to go ahead and kill herself (like a million other people who would say the exact same thing in this situation) while they are fighting and the whole world is so stunned by this because it is 100% credible proof that Nick abused women. Just... SMH. I almost stopped watching at this part. It was bad. The writers were obviously to scared to write a credible scenario so we get this weak excuse of plot development...
Throughout the whole show, the atmosphere is too dark, intense and trying way to hard to be deep. While at the same it literally deals with zero actual issues. The characters are all cardboard cut outs. They have exactly one personality trait each. And this trait defines everything about them. I too hated Pia the most, I noticed a lot of other people were put off by her neurotic, over the top character.
Anyway, I'll end this with an observation. Tell me if this was just me being weird and reading into stuff that wasn't there, but, what was up with the super heavy INCEST vibe I kept getting from the two main couple of siblings? Like Nick and Pia, Sarah and Brian, I stg the way their relationships were portrayed heavily implied that the feelings between them were closer to sexual attraction than familial love. It was really in your face man, the interactions between them that we get to see, the few scenes they show, were all the kind of scenes a couple that is dating would get. Not a brother and sister...
Clownface (2019)
This is a thing that was made...
Yeah, that almost everything I have to say about this movie... it exists, which is bad enough already.
I love b grade, low budget serial killer movies. The more ridiculous the plot and the murderer character the better! But Clownfave, the killer, not the whole movie, was a seriously boring character...
Don't you love seeing that one 10/10 review in a sea of 2s and 3s?? It's actually hilarious and I hope that movie crew staff member DONT STOP REVIEWING THEIR OWN MOVIES!
Please, keep doing this, I need a laugh every now and then. Even if I'm laughing at how pathetic and sad people can be... I mean... do you really think that we're stupid enough to believe that your a viewer who just happened to see and LOVE this movie? Or do you just not care? Anyway, don't stop, please?