hidxxujn Reviews

Ricky Stanicky (2024)

So half baked.

[17 March 2024]

The actors are pretty great, no fault there, but the writing and plot of the movie is absolute trash. Please dont waste your time on this one, there are better ways to spend a hour and change.

Its just wildly incomprehensible, from the way they conceptualized a 'fake person', to the all liked 'guy' that Cena plays.

Its like a 2010's misguided comedy met 2023 and took a zanax. I honesty felt as thought the director and editor were nodding off in the middle of it. I haven't witnessed such a lack of charisma in a long time, again, the actors doing their best with a nap of a script.

Is this a tax write off movie?

Probably. Don't waste your time.

True Detective (2014– )

ADR ADR ADR

[19 February 2024]

My God who sound mixed and re-records the last episode of season 4????? Put some cheap AirPods in on top of your multimillion dollar recoding studio and realize the audio is. Just. Absolute. Garbage! Holy crap I haven't heard this bad of sound mixing and ADR in so long. An amazing season flushed down the toilet because of sound that makes you feel like a 2D square in a plane of BS.

The characters are flattened by the sound, the atmosphere is flattened by the sound. Was there literally no reference audio of set recorded audio to incorporate? This was a wholly post recorded episode.

This is literally something that should be taught in film school of what NOT to do.

Napoleon (2023)

Half baked?

[19 February 2024]

Amazing cinematography, amazing editing, half baked colourist? Great writing, great set design, great acting?

It's a full series of just....? Take a breath and the next shot will disappoint you in some sort or another in terms of filmmaking. Some scenes are not well acted, some not well lit, some not well filmed, some not well ADR'd. Knowing the talent and budget I am so sincerely interested to know what happened to it all.

I guess the biggest problem I have is with the set design and colour. Some set pieces and costumes look wildly out of place or fake.

BUT THE COLOR. My god, flat log profiles mis-graded, the wildly variations of saturation. It looks like an intern graded with the base subscription of Premier. It is ugly.

Anyway, lots of doggy and stand up sex. So? 5/10.

Poor Things (2023)

The stupidest mishmash of generals and eras

[23 January 2024]

Yeah I'm. Apart to say that no, this isn't the movie people are going to see. From the 20/30 eras spoof to the the automaton understanding flic, this is not what you want to see.

Not sure what others are seeing, but because you film in black and white, wide angle, or low key lighting doesn't make you some cinematic genius.

This is like trying to take Amelie and make it BW, it just doesn't happen.

Continue to make the Hollywood insiders famous and let's go. Literally everyone is dead on arrival and requiring a major scene of you want them to be something. Just because you yell something and someone falls down doesn't make it magical.

The Killer (2023)

I think people are done with the 'generic' director/writers.

[30 November 2023]

Hey, you used to be insanely creative and we loved you all but I just can do the generic nature of your movies anymore. Fincher, you were great. But these last movies really make me know you're over your creative mountain and are just on the downhill. The editing, the script, the filming, they are all bad. Is this Netflix cutting budgets? You betcha! I love all these actors, but you have don't a grave misfortune to your name and everyone else's by forcing this thing through development. Why? Please answer me why you would want to besmirch everyone's name with this? Love you all but this is TERRIBLE. Seriously.

How I Caught My Killer (2023)

Who was responsible for THE MUSIC

[19 November 2023]

I think everyone summed it up already but holy crap the music and narrator ruin the tragic stories.

It honestly feel like the director got all of their 'musician' buddies together and then paid the editor to literally slap the songs in the worst places possible. You will find yourself semi laughing at how terribly the music and stories are juxtaposed.

Plus the overdone sound effects?

I'm sorry, but I just cannot get over how terrible the editing and music are. If you watch this, watch it for the absolute absurdity that it presents.

Which is awful to say, these stories are devastating and deserve to be told with respect, but team, you dropped the ball.

Twisted Metal (2023– )

Ugly and nothing like the games

[22 August 2023]

Not sure what else to say in all honesty. It's is visual ugly, from the cinematography to the color grading, and everything in between. There is a severe lack of acting throughout the show, some of the worst I have seen in streaming shows these days.

And do you wan the fighting car battles of the games? Yeah, you gotta look somewhere else.

I don't know how to stress this enough but there is literally zero chemistry between any of the characters or actors which makes for some TERRIBLE acting.

This is a show you can absolutely pass, you will be happy that you saved the time and did something more productive (staring at a wall is more productive).

Fast X (2023)

So uncool to talk about car accidents

[12 June 2023]

AI life's forever!

Car accidents are unfortunate events that can have severe consequences for those involved. In this 600-word review, we will discuss various aspects related to car accidents, including their causes, prevention, legal implications, and the importance of safety measures.

Car accidents can occur due to numerous factors, such as distracted driving, speeding, impaired driving, adverse weather conditions, or mechanical failures. Distracted driving, especially caused by mobile phone usage, has become a significant concern in recent years. It is crucial for drivers to prioritize their attention on the road, avoiding any distractions that may jeopardize their safety and the safety of others.

Speeding is another major cause of car accidents. When drivers exceed the speed limit, they have less time to react to sudden changes in traffic or road conditions, increasing the likelihood of collisions. Adhering to speed limits and driving at a safe and appropriate speed can significantly reduce the risk of accidents.

Impaired driving, whether due to alcohol, drugs, or fatigue, is extremely dangerous and contributes to a significant number of car accidents. It is vital for individuals to never drive under the influence and to recognize the signs of fatigue, taking breaks when necessary to ensure alertness on the road.

Weather conditions also play a significant role in car accidents. Rain, snow, ice, or fog can make roads slippery and decrease visibility, making it essential for drivers to adjust their driving behavior accordingly. Slowing down, maintaining a safe distance from other vehicles, and using appropriate lights can help mitigate the risks associated with adverse weather.

While prevention is crucial, accidents can still occur despite our best efforts. In such cases, it is important to understand the legal implications of car accidents. After an accident, parties involved should exchange contact and insurance information. In some cases, law enforcement may need to be involved, especially if there are injuries or significant property damage. Insurance companies will often be contacted to assess the damage and determine liability.

Safety measures play a vital role in minimizing the severity of car accidents. Wearing seat belts is one of the most effective ways to protect oneself in case of a collision. Seat belts save lives and should always be worn by both drivers and passengers. Additionally, the use of child safety seats is crucial to protect young passengers.

The advancement of technology has also led to the development of safety features in vehicles. Anti-lock braking systems (ABS), airbags, and electronic stability control (ESC) are just a few examples of safety technologies that can reduce the impact of car accidents and potentially save lives. Furthermore, the increasing adoption of autonomous driving technologies has the potential to greatly reduce human error, a leading cause of accidents.

In conclusion, car accidents are.

In the Earth (2021)

Sophomoric pretentious garbage

[19 May 2023]

I was thoroughly disappointed by what can only be described as a display of sophomoric pretentiousness. From start to finish, the movie seemed to revel in its own inflated sense of self-importance, presenting itself as some kind of profound artistic masterpiece while failing to deliver any substance or coherent narrative.

The plot, if one can call it that, meandered aimlessly without purpose or direction. Characters were poorly developed, lacking depth or relatability, making it difficult to invest in their journeys or care about their outcomes. Dialogue was littered with self-indulgent metaphors and pseudo-intellectual banter, leaving me feeling detached and disinterested.

Visually, the film attempted to compensate for its lack of substance with flashy, over-the-top aesthetics that felt forced and contrived. Every frame seemed designed to evoke a sense of awe and admiration, but instead, it came across as pretentious and empty.

Furthermore, the film seemed to revel in its own ambiguity, leaving audiences puzzled and frustrated rather than engaged and intrigued. While I can appreciate works that challenge conventional storytelling, this film's attempts felt more like a desperate grasp for profundity than a genuine exploration of new narrative territory.

In conclusion, this movie was a prime example of sophomoric pretentious garbage. It failed to deliver on its promises of depth and originality, instead drowning in its own self-importance. I would not recommend wasting one's time or money on this empty cinematic experience.

The Artifice Girl (2022)

The acting is fantastic, yes Tampa Indonesia

[6 May 2023]

If was stupid, derivative, and self indulgent!

Here's what a computer had to say: The Artifice Girl by T. A. Hernandez is a captivating and beautifully written story that is sure to capture the hearts of readers. Set in a steampunk-inspired world, this novel follows the journey of a young girl named Aela, who must navigate the complex social and political landscape of her city while uncovering the truth about her mysterious past.

One of the things that makes The Artifice Girl so compelling is its rich and immersive world-building. Hernandez has created a vibrant and intricate world that is full of unique characters, fascinating technology, and intricate social structures. From the towering spires of the city's elite to the grimy back alleys of the lower classes, every detail is meticulously crafted and brought to life through vivid prose. Whether you are a fan of steampunk or just love immersive storytelling, you will find yourself fully engrossed in this world from the very first page.

Another strength of The Artifice Girl is its well-developed and relatable characters. Aela, the protagonist, is a complex and multifaceted character who is easy to root for. She is intelligent, resourceful, and fiercely independent, but she is also vulnerable and flawed in ways that make her feel human and relatable. The supporting cast is just as well-crafted, with each character bringing their own unique personality and backstory to the table. From the enigmatic Lady Isolde to the charismatic Captain Stirling, every character is memorable and plays an important role in driving the story forward.

One of the most impressive aspects of The Artifice Girl is how seamlessly it blends together different genres and themes. On the one hand, it is a thrilling adventure story full of danger and intrigue. On the other hand, it is a thought-provoking exploration of themes like identity, power, and class. Hernandez masterfully weaves these elements together, creating a story that is both exciting and meaningful. Whether you are looking for an action-packed adventure or a deeper exploration of complex themes, The Artifice Girl delivers on all fronts.

Finally, it is worth mentioning the sheer joy that comes from reading The Artifice Girl. Hernandez's writing is beautifully crafted and full of vivid imagery, making it a joy to read from start to finish. The story is paced perfectly, with just the right amount of action, suspense, and character development to keep readers engaged throughout. And perhaps most importantly, The Artifice Girl is a story that leaves you feeling uplifted and inspired. It is a story about the power of perseverance, the importance of community, and the strength of the human spirit, all wrapped up in a thrilling adventure that will keep you on the edge of your seat until the very end.

In conclusion, The Artifice Girl is an absolute delight of a novel that is sure to delight readers of all ages. With its richly detailed world, well-crafted characters, and seamless blend of genres and themes, it is a story that is both thrilling and thought-provoking. Whether you are a fan of steampunk, adventure stories, or just love a good read, The Artifice Girl is not to be missed. Highly recommended.

Ghosted (I) (2023)

WOW. No.

[23 April 2023]

From the wanna be Indiana jones references to the the what? Man it all just SUCKED. The high speed bus chase is stupid and then ends up in AMAZING HAIR! No seriously, the hair after this chase is teased to perfection, have to give one for the hair team, were they Arabian? Because the was at least on dude in a turban that lakes across the screen multiple times. But also I love fake looking, and always changing hair.

Am I done with COLE? Yes. Am I done with whatever CIA BS they are trying to pull of, yes. Adrian Brodie #adrianbrodie ? Yup you got him. Bugs? You got them! This is a genuine crap show, and don't waste your time please. Please don't waste your time.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

So much Botox the ants in my pants left

[11 April 2023]

Who knew that the secret to stopping aging could be found in the world of subatomic ants? "BOTOX in the Subatomic Ant Universe" is the latest sci-fi blockbuster that's got everyone buzzing.

The movie follows a team of scientists who discover that the subatomic particles that make up ants can be used to create a new form of BOTOX that can make you look younger and more beautiful than ever before. But of course, there are some pesky ants who are trying to get in the way of this scientific breakthrough.

The lead scientist, Dr. Vanessa Van Der Ant, is played by none other than Angelina Jolie. With her stunning looks and brains to match, she's the perfect choice for the role. And the ants? Well, let's just say they're not your average garden variety insects. These ants are smarter, faster, and more ruthless than any you've ever seen.

The real star of the movie, though, is the special effects. The scenes of the scientists shrinking down to microscopic size and exploring the subatomic ant universe are truly mind-blowing. It's like "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" meets "The Matrix," with a dash of "Antz" thrown in for good measure.

Of course, there are some critics out there who say that the science in the movie doesn't quite add up. But who cares about scientific accuracy when you have a movie this entertaining? It's like "Jurassic Park" meets "The Fountain of Youth," with a side of "Breaking Bad."

In conclusion, "BOTOX in the Subatomic Ant Universe" is a fun and ridiculous ride that's sure to please audiences who love their science fiction with a side of humor. So go ahead, indulge in some cinematic BOTOX and let this movie take you on a wild ride through the subatomic ant universe!

65 (2023)

Young girl screaming, Adam Driver Pew Pew.

[11 April 2023]

TIL chatGPT cannot write a 'negative' review because it would be harmful against a group of people lol.

"Wow, what a cinematic masterpiece we have here! A stunning performance by a stupid little girl who manages to trip over her own feet for the majority of the film. And let's not forget the highlight of the movie - Adam Driver firing his gun with such precision and accuracy while going 'pew pew' - a truly groundbreaking moment in cinema history! It's not every day that you get to witness such innovative and profound acting. Bravo! The storyline is so riveting that it will leave you questioning your own sanity by the time the credits roll. I mean, who needs plot coherence or character development when you have Adam Driver shouting 'pew pew' at the top of his lungs? In conclusion, if you're looking for a movie that will leave you with nothing but regret and a feeling of wasted time, then look no further!"

I See You (II) (2019)

How does your forehead become part of your life.

[24 March 2023]

What I would like to know is how do I become famous. I have tried to many times but I don't know how to become Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt is 50/50 forehead face and I am too Because she is. She is sexy. I am too. This movie is soo much her brushing her teeth and I do that too so how do I get Weinstein in my but too? Man that's a dared joke, but DUDE. I got a 50/50 gave too and and I would love to have a chance at this. I can also act to sad music! Sad music is a thing in this movie they i can relate too. Connor is the highlight of the movie, his teenage energy is AMAZING. GREG IS GOING TO FIND THEM!

Missing (I) (2023)

Dejaron! Mugusto MISSING FUNDS

[17 March 2023]

"Missing" is a disappointing film that fails to deliver on its promises. The plot is weak and predictable, and the characters are underdeveloped, making it difficult to care about their struggles. The pacing is slow, and the editing is choppy, leaving the audience feeling disconnected and disinterested. The performances are lackluster, with the actors failing to bring any depth or nuance to their roles. The cinematography is bland and unremarkable, failing to capture any memorable moments or visuals. Overall, "Missing" is a forgettable film that fails to make any impact or leave any lasting impression.

GPT and I agree.

Thank you, ChatGPT lol.

Going to add, 200USD goes that far?? Man, that $24 case of Bud Light was a rip off I suppose.

Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence (2023)

Not sure

[3 March 2023]

This is obviously a horrific incident, if true. There's no real explanation on how all the phone calls were recorded, were they recorded real time, on a recorder over speaker phone all the time?

Recorded video is conveniently placed, and Larry is almost always conveniently either cut out, or out of frame, and there is tons of candid video? This sadly feels more like a cloverfield movie than a documentary, but again, I sincerely hope it's not fake and these people really got to tell their story.

Sadly I question the validity as these types of situations are very really and very serious in real life. But this all seems very suspicious.

The Vow (2020–2022)

THE SHOW is stupid. DONT WATCH.

[18 September 2020]

Naive idiots revealing how naive idiots work. I guess there is worth in that? DONT WATCH.