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Reviews
Ted (2012)
Have seen it all before
I did not finish this movie, because I had approximately the same urge to see how this ended as I have to see whether the sun will get up in the mornings (and I don't live that far north).
In this review, I am going to try to predict what happens. If someone considers this as a spoiler (e.g. someone who has never seen a movie before in his/her life), don't read on after this.
First of all: The beginning was kind of original, and created hopes that this movie is something quite different. But then it started going downhill.
I turned off the movie during the 4-year anniversary dinner between John and his girlfriend. So far, I had seen how she pretends to be happy with her relationship, but that she probably feels that he is immature and doesn't have a good career. Also, her successful boss is always trying to get her to start a family with him.
Now, my guess is: She will probably leave John because she feels the relationship is going nowhere, and John will blame his teddy-bear Ted. So he will leave Ted in hope that this will bring his girlfriend back to him. But he has gotten it all wrong! It wasn't Ted who was the problem in the first place, but just the fact that John apparently didn't thrive for anything more in his life! The girlfriend realises that John has misunderstood, and at the same time, she also realises that her boss is actually not a nice person at all. And so the three of them get back together in the end and live happily ever after.
Am I right?
Varg Veum - Tornerose (2008)
Must-see for Bergen patriots
This is the third Varg Veum movie I've seen, and the first among the ones that were made for TV, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised of the result.
The movie opens in Copenhagen, where Varg Veum is on a job tracking down the 16 year old daughter of a wealthy businessman to bring her home to her family in Bergen. The daughter has been into some tough environments, and when her 21 year old boyfriend soon turns up dead in a hotel room in Bergen, Veum soon ends up doing his best to protect the girl from the police, who regard her as the main suspect of the murder.
What I like the most about the Varg Veum movies, are the very stylish ways they open the movie, the beautiful sceneries we get of Bergen from different angles, and not least the music.
The openings create a very high expectation of what is to come in the movie. The dialogue is kept to a minimum during these first couple of minutes, very little is explained of what is actually going on, and most of the time we are just shown scenographic images of the surroundings of the private detective accompanied with main music theme. The music is quick and up-beat, the "Varg Veum" title that comes up is dark and mysterious-looking, and the Bergen weather is shadowy and cloudy (as always :)).
When it comes to the rest of the movie, the Bergen sceneries really impressed me this time. The director has actually managed to portray Bergen as a very big city -- which it is actually not. While Lonely Planet describes Bergen as a "sleepy university city", this Varg Veum movie has actually managed to portray the city as a major city with big roads. They film the one single snake-junction that we have in front of the main bus-terminal in a way that makes you think that we have several of them. At the same time, the movie combines this with the beautiful green, mountainous scenery that we have around the city, and the really lovely wooden houses we have in the city centre. This is more than enough to bring tears to the eyes of local patriots.
What is only OK about the movie is the plot. If you have seen too many Agatha Christie movies (or read the books), you will find the Varg Veum plots just plain entertaining. The most stimulating parts of the movie when it comes to plot, are the dialogues between Veum and chief- inspector Hamre. Hamre always hates it when Veum intervenes with his cases, and they are almost never on the same team. On the other hand, these parts of the movies are really good. Trond Espen Seim and Bjørn Floberg fit perfectly to their roles and the acting done by these two is great (in my eyes).
To conclude, if you are a Bergen patriot, this movie is a must-see. For other viewers, if you want an entertaining story, you won't be too disappointed.
Varg Veum - Bitre blomster (2007)
Beautiful scenery, nice music and good acting by Trond Espen Seim
This is the first in what is planned to be a series of adaptations of Gunnar Staalesen's novels about the private detective, Varg Veum, and I must say that I was very pleased with the result.
The plot goes like this: The daughter of a female politician disappears at the same time as the politician's lover also goes underground, and she hires Varg Veum to try to find them. When Varg Veum starts tracking down the various clues, they all point towards the industrial plant the lover works at.
Even though the story in the book takes place in the early 1990s, the adaptation has moved the story to present-day. What pleased me most with the movie, was the beautiful scenery of Bergen together with a very nice musical score. The opening scene first shows Bergen viewed from mount Fløyen, and afterwards we get to see the main bus terminal and Bryggen. People from Bergen watching this movie will be especially pleased with this.
Trond Espen Seim fit the role as Varg Veum perfectly. Some people have criticized the choice of Seim in the lead role because he doesn't speak the Bergen dialect. I was also initially skeptical to this choice, but after seeing the film, I now understand how well he fits into this role. Bjørn Floberg was also great in the role as the chief inspector, and the scenes with him and Trond Espen Seim were great, especially the scene where they meet on the roof of the main bus terminal in the rain. This can't be considered as anything less than a classic scene that must be remembered in Norwegian movie history.
What I didn't like with this film, were most of the scenes with the bad guys. First of all, it was too obvious that they were bad guys. The way they were dressed up and the choice of music for these scenes made it look more like a parody than an actual murder mystery. These scenes were way overdone and destroyed much of the suspense that was built up beforehand.
But all in all, this was a beautiful movie and a beautiful portrayal of Bergen.
Candyman (1992)
A Beautiful Horror Movie with Great Music
Grad students Helen Lyle (Virginia Madsen) and Bernadette Walsh work on a joint thesis concerning urban legends, and with a special emphasis on the legend of Candyman, a slave who in the end of the 1800s was executed for being in love with a white woman. According to the legend, if you stand in front of a mirror and say out his name five times, he will appear behind you and kill you. When Helen decides to go deeper into the stories behind Candyman, murders start occurring around her.
The story can best be described as a psychological thriller. Throughout most of the movie, you wonder if all the things that are happening are actually just going on in Helen's mind. But the build-up and setting are more of a fantasy/drama/tragedy style than thriller style. It is really dark, but the music adds a mystical kind of beauty to it. In that sense, I also really enjoyed the ending.
The music is an important part of this movie. The composer is Philip Glass, who has won a number of awards for his music, and who wrote the music to Kundun and The Hours, among other things. The music in Candyman is a beautiful piece of classical-style work which makes this movie more fantasy-style than horror.
I can't say much more concrete about Candyman without giving anything away, but I recommend this to anyone who is slightly interested in horror-movies. The reason I gave it an 8 instead of a 10 is that I don't believe it appeals to people who neither enjoy fantasy nor horror. People who only enjoy Gandhi and The Mission won't like Candyman at all, for instance. But people who are slightly interested in fantasy or horror will enjoy this one.
The Pink Panther (2006)
A Pile of Slapstick
While the original Pink Panther movies were 100 % original British comedies, this American production has turned everything into slapstick, following every rule of Hollywood comedy. The hero (Steve Martin) is quite dumb, but has a good heart. 45 minutes into the film, he reaches some obstacles so that the viewers will wonder if everything will turn out all right. And of course there's a beautiful girl involved who falls in love with Steve Martin.
So for fans of the traditional Hollywood comedy, I can guarantee that you will be thoroughly satisfied. You will even wonder why this didn't get an Oscar for best movie.
For those of you who do not like traditional Hollywood comedies, avoid this film at all costs.
The Descent (2005)
Scared the Heck out of Me
Six girls in their early twenties go on a caving expedition in a previously unexplored cave. When the entrance to the cave collapses, the girls must try to find another way out. However, it soon appears that they are not alone in the cave.
This movie appealed to me for several reasons. First of all, it really scared me, which most horror movies unfortunately don't do. This movie brought to me some pretty vivid images that stuck to my mind for hours after watching this.
Secondly, the movie went straight to the chase. As movie watchers, we are often subject to movies moralizing over certain questions, as e.g. religion and political issues, even though these issues are not part of the plot of the movie, and this moralization can sometimes be quite irritating. British-made "The Descent" didn't have any of this. It is clear already from the beginning that the director has one single goalwhich is to scare the heck out of you.
Thirdly, I'm very glad that the "hero" in this film isn't the average Hollywood hero who has some kind of weakness that he/she manages to overcome in the end of the film. The characters in "The Descent" are characters you could find in a good novel. None are pure good and none are pure evil. You actually have to use your brains in order to make up your mind what to think of them.
The minus with this movie was that the plot was too thin, and even though a horror movie's main goal is to scare people, there should be a good story behind it. Since I all the same was thrilled from beginning to end, I only remove one point from the total score and give it a 9/10.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Like giving Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet a happy ending
It is OK to change the story when making a movie out of a book. I think it is called "poetic licence". The main idea is that a good story in a book often won't be as good in a movie. It will e.g. not be a good idea to narrate everything a character thinks, because else the movie will be too slow.
What is not OK is to change the "soul" of the characters. In Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy the main character Arthur Dent is portrayed as an unlucky guy who is not too bright, and who is also unlucky in love. He will probably always be unlucky in love. This is elegantly metaphored with his wearing his pajamas and bathrobe throughout the entire book, because that was what he of course was wearing right before Earth was destroyed. Arthur Dent's luck is almost an entire story in itself and you can see a glint of determinism in the way his luck will never change.
The movie has almost completely destroyed this view of Arthur Dent by making him a winner. This is disrespectful to the author and has nothing to do with poetic licence. It is not difficult to see that the director's goal has been to please the crowds and make the movie sell as well as possible.
This change is about like giving Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet a Happy Ending, or making Dracula in Bram Stoker's novel realize that killing people is wrong. Maybe that could be the next project for Hollywood?
The Dentist (1996)
Makes you think twice about visiting your dentist
When Dr. Feinstone, brilliantly and realistically acted by Corbin Bernsen, finds out that his wife has an affair with the pool-boy, he lets his frustration out on his patients. Whether this works for him or not is not certain to this date, but the patients aren't too excited about this, and you won't be either if you don't have a strong stomach.
The suspense is actually the worst/best part of the movie. Throughout the entire one and a half hours I sat on the edge of my seat, hoping that the patient wouldn't be tortured by Dr. Feinstone.
This is the best horror/slasher movie I've seen to this date. It's humorous and you can actually see that the actors are having fun on the set. The best thing about it is that there isn't one boring moment throughout the entire film. Also, you don't get the Hollywood crap morale bit that you get in *every* *single* movie they have released for the past ten years. The Dentist sticks to the story and never leaves it.
My jaw ached afterwards, but still I have seen both this and its sequel three times. And they have gotten better each time.
9/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Can't understand what all the fuss was about
The first thing I noticed about this movie was that it lasted for three hours.
To summarize the plot, The Lord of the Rings is about some short people with no shoes who go for a walk, and this walk lasts for an EXTREMELY long time. In the meantime some evil people--and note that these are people who have deliberately chosen to be evil--do lots of evil things.
SPOILER ALERT
Actually, there is no spoiler here, because nothing happens in the end either. They go on taking their walk.
I have noticed that people who review the book as excellent often open their reviews with 'I normally hate reading books, but ...'. I think that explains the popularity of the film. Simple minds prefer simple entertainment.
I give this movie 3 out of 10 stars. The scenery was very nice. The acting skills were good too.
Final (2001)
At last a Hollywood movie with a storyline in it
At last! I have been waiting for so long to see something different from the usual junk Hollywood dumps on Europe. Everything with this movie reminds me of the Danish dogma movies, where the plot and storyline are actually MORE important than the special effects. (And maybe that's why this movie got so many 1s as well as 10s; the intellectual working class normally wants more shooting and car-chases in their movies :))
I'm not going to spoil anything, so I just want to say that the tension between Bill and Ann keeps this film moving as wonderfully as Bill's recollection of his past and his returning suspiciousness that he's going to be killed.
The only minus for my own part, is that the film music could be better. If I could decide, it would have been more like the music in «The Man Who Wasn't There», but the guitar-music was nice anyhow.
9/10
Wishcraft (2002)
«Wishmaster» meets «Scream»
The reason I rented this movie, was the feel-good plot. The geek gets the girl after being granted three wishes.
The movie is very standard feature, with some interesting blood and gore scenes. The love-story is much better, and there are some humoristic scenes that are worth watching.
If you want an interesting sci-fi movie about getting wishes granted, «Wishmaster» is better.
5/10
Creature (1998)
Good action, but too much family morals
After Peter Benchley wrote «Jaws», he never actually managed to make a completely new original story. With the sheriff who refuses to believe in the hero who tries to warn people about the killing monster, the bad guy who mocks the hero, and the finding of a shark who everybody believes is the one who killed everybody but actually didn't, «The Creature» is just too much similar to «Jaws». The only real interesting bit is that this isn't a shark but a crossing between a shark and a dolphin. That reminds me very much about «Deep Blue Sea», but since «The Creature» was made first, that's forgivable.
Another thing that really bugs me in this movie, is the family morals bit. Except for the sheriff and the bad guy, everybody is really nice to each other, the father son relationship is a great example of how a good family should be, and the whole world is just a great place to live in. Well, the military people are real jerks, but luckily they don't ruin too much of this impression.
On the other hand, one shouldn't take this movie too seriously either. It's actionpacked, something new turns up in the middle of the film, and if you disregard the logical faults that often turn up, there's more than enough stuff to entertain you all the way through, and that's pretty impressive for more than three hours of sharks.
The opening sequences are really good.
6/10
Wishmaster (1997)
Fun-to-watch average horror movie
The title of the movie was what made me want to watch it. You know the story at once you've seen the cover of the film, and it wasn't too different from what I expected.
The best part of the movie was that it didn't last too long, so I never got bored watching it. The special effects weren't bad, and some of the gore was pretty interesting and a bit original. The acting bit and the screenplay could have been better, but it didn't ruin the viewing experience.
All in all I enjoyed watching this movie. If you've seen John Carpenter's «The Thing» and enjoyed that, I think you would enjoy «Wishmaster», because the category and contents are much the same.
6/10
Spider-Man (2002)
Have seen it before (slight spoiler)
This could have been a perfect cartoon action movie, if it weren't for the morals in it, like the bit about taking responsibility for your actions, and the low background music playing while Spider-Man's aunt is praying right before she is attacked.
SLIGHT SPOILER! You are several times reminded of what country the movie comes from. During the last minute of the movie we get to se the American flag waving in the wind in slow motion with Spider-Man swinging himself around it. END OF SPOILER
We all know that USA is a great country, without Americans pushing their nationalism onto us outsiders. The British have made pretty OK movies, without showing their flag in the closing scenes. The Swedes manage to do it as well.
The film is apart from this pretty interesting, even though there are some slow scenes, which includes nearly all the love scenes. Here the dialogue and music become a bit artificial. The music is elsewise incredibly well composed by Danny Elfman. Combined with the scenography, you get a lot of great action scenes, which actually are the only things that make the film worth watching.
My total impression is that I have seen it all before. If you don't manage to swallow all the nationalism and moral preaching, I recommend that you see something else. The majority of people, who lack the ability to think critically, will love this movie.
Rating: 5/10
The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)
An alternative view on the life of Jesus, with a surprising ending
This movie really made me think. It was totally different from all other Jesus-movies where everything is taken 100% literally from the Bible. In this movie, Jesus is the main character like in any other movie or book. You get to know him as a person who is not perfect in any way. You could say it is modernized so that we get a chance to think like Jesus must have been thinking. Scorsese has also modernized the dialogues and the music, which is excellently composed by Peter Gabriel.
The movie has a good deal of blood in it, which some could say is overdone. Personally, I believe it contributes to portray Jesus as a human being and not as the son of God.
The ending, or rather: the last 30 minutes of the film, come as a great surprise. So, for those of you who think that this is just another plain story about Jesus: Watch the movie and see for yourselves.
Back to the Future (1985)
The best feel-good adventure movie yet
If you're looking for a movie with speed, humor, adventure, great (and loud) music and good actors, try out Back to the Future. It's not only got adventure in it, it's a beautiful love story as well, and the villain gets to pay in the end.
When you've seen the movie, you'll wish you were driving the time-machine yourself.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
First half beautiful. Second half pathetic.
I will begin by mentioning the good thing about the movie: The opening is the most spectacular thing I have EVER seen in a movie. Honest to God, I felt tears coming to my eyes seeing (and hearing) it. This opening is enough of a reason for watching the film in the movie-theater instead of waiting for it to come out on video. It was great!
The first half of the movie has a very interesting plot showing how Alan Grant has figured out more about the Raptors' way of communicating. At the same time he is scared to death only thinking about returning to the island in order to find out more about the dinosaurs, until a rich couple pays him to be their guide in an airplane guide over Isla Sorna. Of course the plane crashes.
The director has added one creepy nightmare scene and some great action scenes throughout the film. The music and sound is loud and clear, and especially in the first half you get everything you expect from a good action-movie. However, when the plane crashes, everything changes.
To show what Alan Grant meant about how the Raptors communicated, they have made the Raptors sort of Disney-like in their way of responding. In stead of being scary, they look cute. In addition, the entire rest of the movie is actually about how the dinosaurs can be very scary, but at the same time very fascinating. Hollywood can't leave a film without morals either, so the parents of the boy the crew is looking for are divorced, but I'll leave it to the reader to figure out for himself how the ending turns out. There's plenty of family values to «learn» from in JP3.
However, what disappointed me the most, was the music. John Williams, the master composer of almost all the Stephen Spielberg films, made the music to JP1 and JP2, but this time they hired someone called Don Davis who made a wreck out of the whole Jurassic Park score, and almost made no original music of his own. There might have been some good arrangements of the beautiful John Williams theme, but they were not many.
But, as I said in the beginning, I recommend that you see the movie, because it's one hell of an intro!
It (1990)
The best Stephen King movie yet
This was a great horror film; actually one of the few times the film has turned out better than the book. Stephen King has managed to make a monster who is capable of turning itself into your worst nightmares, and that way you never know where it will appear next.
Tim Curry makes a wonderful and scary appearance as Pennywise the Clown. Note the neat musical score by Richard Bellis, which will haunt you after you go to sleep at night.
I give this movie 9 out of 10 stars. The tenth star is for the lousy effects in the ending.
Frogs (1972)
More boring than the bird-programs on TV
This one was so bad that it passed funny and became bad again! I really missed actually seeing the frogs killing people, and the nature shots suspiciously looked like shots taken from Discovery channel.
If you want bad movies, I recommend Ed Wood.