Reviews

24 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Oppenheimer (I) (2023)
3/10
Bloated. Boring. Good luck staying awake
26 July 2023
So this movie is 3 hours long. You know how Director's Cuts include stuff that was edited out of the theatrical version? In this case the Director's Cut needs to remove an hour.

Just for background I studied both Astro and Sub-Nuclear Physics in college, and even I was bored to tears. I looked over at my girlfriend, whose excited idea it was to go and even insisted on paying for the tickets. Yep, she was fast asleep for at least half the movie, and this was the 6pm to 9pm showing, not the past her bed time timeslot.

So much of this movie is just plain unnecessary, like the director was trying to vamp and pad for time, when instead he should've gone crazy w/the digital snips and dumped about half of it. The side thread w/the Commie gf was so inane, it was obvious her only role in the film was as a pair of b**bs, her character was otherwise 98% irrelevant. I think even the director knew there'd have to be some T&A to keep the audience from sleeping all the way through.

Another example of unnecessary padding. Special effects meant to convey how Oppenheimer thought about quantum mechanics and the universe. References to String Theory and other nerd science stuff I'm sure would be lost on 99 out of 100 people watching it. Worse, they don't do this just once, for 30 long seconds, but 3 or 4 times. To quote Cinema Sins. "Movie has time for this?"

RDJ and Cillian Murphy were perfectly cast, as were the myriad of famous Physicists of the early 20th century. Otherwise though this is a story about a man whose one lifetime achievement, incredible as it was, took up 3 years of his life, and what we got was a biopic of that plus 33 more years of his life that's only mildly interesting.
11 out of 19 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Ghosted (I) (2023)
2/10
Gender-swapped Knight & Day, but even less memorable
12 July 2023
Did you see the lame 2010 movie "Knight & Day" w/Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz? No? You didn't miss much. This is that movie just with gender roles reversed, except somehow even more inane. Yet another blatant plot rip-off made into a lazy script which is par for the course with Hollywood writers these days. They probably would've had better results just telling ChatGPT to write an original script. The Hollywood writers are on strike at the time of this review, and yet somehow the quality isn't any worse than it already was which tells you a lot. Between the talentless woke hacks who have zero clue how to craft anything but garbage that 99% of America won't watch, to the seasoned pros who have forgotten that the most interesting stories are morality plays and not just characters going thru the motions, I am beginning to wonder if we shouldn't just let the film & tv industry continue to put itself out of business,.
13 out of 20 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Black Adam (2022)
2/10
The Rock was in the Mummy 2 which was better, because he didn't talk
23 October 2022
Five minutes of opening narration... FIVE! First rule of film school: show, don't tell. It just goes downhill from there. At this point DC should just give it up and throw in the towel because for every good movie they put out there's 20 turds like this one. It was like watching The Mummy 2 with an equally dumb set-up, plot, and story. It's hard enough to craft a story around known superheroes like Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman that turn out to bomb 50% of the time, but throw in a name most people have never heard of and you're already climbing an uphill battle that so far only Guardians of the Galaxy have succeeded. This movie definitely failed that test.
4 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
This Didn't Age Well
26 September 2022
Two decades ago this kind of behavior might have been acceptable, but now Richard Gere's character just comes off as smarmy, manipulative, and lecherous. In real life the pair were 22 years apart, which was bad enough, but the movie doubles-down on how gross the age separation is by making their characters be even further apart. It's said Cary Grant was adamant that Audrey Hepburn always was the one pursuing him in "Charade" because he understood their age difference was inappropriate, and if he had been the one chasing her he knew it would hurt his reputation as a gentleman. Apparently Richard Gere had no such compunctions. Unfortunately this awful start overshadows the entire tone of the movie where it's admitted he's old enough to be her father. The concept of May-December romances might be a thing of the past, but they need to stay there because in today's world it just feels like the older man is nothing more than a groomer. 2 stars because the B-roll of fall in New York at least is pretty even if the story is just unpalatable now.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Marry Go Round (2022 TV Movie)
3/10
Rehashed plot from Sweet Home Alabama
14 September 2022
Another "Fall in Love" movie that doesn't take place in the fall (even the B roll has all green trees so why bother calling it a fall movie?) Lackluster, plodding, boring, dragging and predictable, again because the plot is a ripoff of a popular movie. Some scenes feel less story related than they are time filler because there just is no heart and no charm. Even the acting feels like it's only half-hearted. Not all Hallmark movies are. Some have actual decent writing and unexpected twists, but this is a just a lazy rewrite of something we've already seen. I would rather Hallmark sacrifice quantity over quality if this is the caliber they have to lower themselves to simply to fill a timeslot.
9 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Like a Ren Faire skit, but worse
8 September 2022
Atrocious acting. Horrible writing. A main character you not only can't relate to, but you actually grow to hate well before the end of the first episode. A plot ripoff of the original LotR except done by people who apparently just graduated film school with a D- average grade. The show is supposedly going to last 5 seasons, and the only reason I think it might go that long is because the only people watching it plan on continuing to make fun of how dreadful it is or mine it for memes. Every big named celebrity associated with the CATS fiasco ran away as fast as they could to save their careers, but these actors are soon to be doomed no-names stuck for years now by contract in a project they can't hope to redeem and will become box office poison for a decade or more.
15 out of 23 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Game, Set, Love (2022 TV Movie)
2/10
Why is this a "Fall/Autumn" movie?
1 September 2022
Not a complaint on this particular movie, but this year's Hallmark "Falling into Love" movies have yet to showcase a movie actually set in the autumn which I thought was the whole point. Certainly tennis is considered a summer sport, so it's not even close to being on point in that regard. Every movie so far has people in short sleeves surrounded by trees full of green leaves. Maybe the couple remaining movies will be better, but so far this year has been disappointing to say the least in capturing the season. Not to mention every year they push the seasons farther back such that the first Christmas movie will be out before Halloween, and the last fall movie will be done before October. Apparently Hallmark has forgotten how seasons work.
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
Nothing surprising, but still very watchable
24 June 2022
"Teen goes to the beach town of 'the other parent' to learn who they really are" is a pretty standard movie set-up. Maybe the book the movie is based on has elements from the real life of its author so the trope is less stereotypical and more biographical. Regardless, I think my only harsh critique is in the casting of Andie McDowell & Dermot Mulroney as parents of an 18 year-old only child, when they both have a full head of gray hair and are clearly well past or pushing 60. Both talented legendary actors, but time for them to accept that that parental roles are behind them now. Other than that it's a perfectly watchable coming of age story where the quiet kid finally learns to speak up and figure out where they want to go in life.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
How I Met Your Father (2022–2023)
2/10
Pale imitation of the original that falls flat
30 January 2022
Over the top raunchiness and smut, 4 one-note characters who are more cartoonish than realistic that you couldn't care any less about, 2 decent characters played by Hillary Duff & Christopher Lowell who are its only saving grace, and 10% of the charm of the original. Ultimately it just tries too hard and fails. While the original ran 9 seasons (which was 3 seasons too long), I can't see this one struggling to survive 3 seasons unless Hulu just can't find something better to replace it with.
4 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Untamed Heart (1993)
9/10
Two Imperfect, Broken People Made Whole through a Selfless Love for One Another
16 January 2022
It's not a perfect movie. It has continuity errors and other small issues that stand out, but as romantic dramas go it has unexpected twists that take you on an attention-grabbing ride, taking you intimately into the lives of a boy & girl who absolutely adore each other, and heal each other's brokenness in a way that shows you sometimes love brings two people together who are perfect for each other.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Jack Ryan (2018–2023)
7/10
Season 1 - Awesome, Season 2 - Sucks
29 December 2021
Such a shame that their sophomore season turned what was a great show into something you don't care about anymore. The jarring disappearance without any explanation of Cathy, which long time Clancy readers know is destined to be his wife, along with Krasiniski suddenly portraying the character as cocky instead of humble basically ruins the entire series. Cornish is supposedly slated to return in season 4, and who knows what kind of mental Olympics the writers will have to pull off to explain her complete lack of mention in season 2 and presumably 3 whenever it comes out, but even then the plot of season 2 is far less interesting, the villain 1 dimensional and unsympathetic, and the attitude change in Ryan's character all make for a show that jumped the shark after the first season.
3 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Bitterness & Complaining from Spiritually Dead Churches
25 November 2021
A series of interviews from ineffectual pastors who are more concerned with religious doctrines and pointless liturgies than teaching their congregants how to have a relationship with God. Their obviously spiritually dying, luke warm churches, not operating in the fullness of Christ lead them to complaining and finger pointing because The Holy Spirit is moving in the body of Christ through the Pentecostal and Charismatic movements which they're not of part so they're seeing no victory in anything they do and their jealousy is on full display. Meanwhile great men like Sean Feucht are out winning souls across America by the hundreds because they understand sincere repentance only comes when sinners feel the love of Christ first.
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Love Strikes Twice (2021 TV Movie)
7/10
Refreshing, Funny, & Unpredictable
21 October 2021
Starts out slow and doesn't really have a hook that sucks you in, but if you give it time it actually does get better and funnier. Kate Findlay's comedic timing is on point, her facial acting is sublime, and eventually she will win you over with her charm when at first she's not all that likeable. Bonus points for the thinly veiled James Bond theme as she & her "future husband" pull off a little caper. Most of all not a stereotypical Hallmark movie which is a refreshing change. The only thing that needs addressed is a note to the director that pretending a movie is set in America only works if you remind your Canadian actors to say "owt" & "abowt" and not "oot" & "aboot" because it's just jarring to an American ear.
13 out of 14 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Taking the Reins (2021 TV Movie)
2/10
Slow, Plodding, Predictable, Boring & Unimaginative
28 September 2021
Hallmark movies can run the gamut from enthralling & rewatchable, to complete & utter unwatchable snoozefests like this dud.
17 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
He's All That (2021)
5/10
Decent homage to the original
8 September 2021
I appreciate that Rachael Leigh Cook played the main character's mom as a tie-in to the original in which she was the makeover-ee. The Good: You really see how much teen life has changed since the original with the advent of social media and smart phones in just 2 short decades. The Bad: The product endorsements which obviously paid for the movie were so over-the-top that it takes you right out of the story and into one food commercial or another. Why after all these years some filmmakers can't figure out how to be a little subtle is baffling, or just tell their bankrollers that less is more when it comes to product placement. Hitting people over the head with it doesn't inspire to buy, it does the opposite.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Love at Look Lodge (2020 TV Movie)
2/10
Less Than Zero... Chemistry
1 September 2021
From the beginning to the end you never buy for one second that the male & female leads would ever have any interest in each other except the script demanded it. Two actors who looked like they couldn't even stand to be in the same room with each other in real life but were forced to work together. Not sure what the casting director was thinking, but they thought wrong. Two stars for all the B-roll footage I guess.
7 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Country at Heart (2020 TV Movie)
9/10
For Once All the Characters Talk to Each Other
31 August 2021
One of my on-going gripes about the Hallmark movies is they rely so often on some ridiculous misunderstanding because the characters never take the time to actually talk, or more importantly, listen to each other, unlike real life, and then story feels completely contrived and way too emotionally immature for people who are supposed to be grown-ups. This movie though actually goes to the trouble of making sure every character tells the others exactly what's going on in their head and even bothers to ask questions of the other characters to learn the truth, which is what real adults do. The male leads are even written to be complex instead of one-dimensional, where both are sometimes in the right, and sometimes in the wrong. In the end it's a well done movie script that is refreshingly honest. Even the love story portion is almost secondary to the story itself, which is an amazing departure from the norm. Ultimately Hallmark moved away from some of the same old cliched tropes and plots to write something that was new and enjoyable to watch beginning to end.
13 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Follow Me to Daisy Hills (2020 TV Movie)
3/10
Incredibly Dull
31 August 2021
Hallmark's movies can really be hit or miss. Sadly this one falls into the latter category. The leads have no chemistry. The story line is bland and predictable, far beyond the norm even for these types of movies, and some of the scenes were clearly written simply as filler for time (oh no, I tripped over a tree root in my yard. I should really do something about that at some point). It isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but in the 6 years of the Fall Harvest series it's easily the most boring. If you miss this one you won't be missing out.
6 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
As Luck Would Have It (2021 TV Movie)
9/10
The Matchmaker 1997, but done better
18 June 2021
Movie was clearly inspired by the late 90's movie with Janeane Garofalo in the lead role, but this time sweet & genuine instead of goofy & over-the-top with Irish stereotypes like it's antecedent. So many Hallmark movies rely on the same old tired trope of "some kind of misunderstanding" to manufacture its drama, but this movie actually feels like a real situation that could happen to real people. It was released in April, missing the obvious March 17th week festivities, so if you haven't seen it yet, maybe wait until your next St. Patrick's Day to enhance all those Irish feels.
8 out of 10 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Hands Down THE Stupidest Movie Ending in the History of Movie Endings
1 May 2021
You sit through this slow-paced yawner until you get to the big reveal of the main character's secret at the end, and when you hear it you first think he must be joking, then you think he must be speaking metaphorically, but no, he's speaking literally, and it's at that point you march back out to the ticket booth and demand your money back and two hours of your wasted life back.
13 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
Forgettable Music & Inane Lyrics
23 January 2021
I have no idea why anyone thinks either the original play and by extension this movie adaptation is good. Literally every song is completely vanilla & forgettable before you even walk out of the theater. Seriously, there's no danger any of these songs will ever get stuck in your head. Accompanying the lifeless "melodies" are the most vapid lyrics you ever heard where the characters I guess are supposed to utter every single uninteresting thought that comes into their head, something like, "So I'll bake some bread, then sweep the floor, and do some more mundane things, but suddenly now I need to go into the woooooooods". No, those aren't actual lyrics, I just made them up, but they easily could be, especially because I made absolutely certain none of them rhymed as that might run the risk of being a little bit catchy. Lastly, be sure to have every character unnecessarily repeat their lyrics 15 times, because this mashup of a half-dozen, one-dimensional fairytales you spend 5 minutes reading to children as bedtime stories needs SOMETHING to stretch it into 2 hours.

If you really want to enjoy this movie I heartily recommend the "Avatar" method, which is to say visually it's really well done, so just turn the sound off while you play some music that is ACTUALLY good and time period relevant, for example the "Princess Bride" soundtrack, and then you can sit through this film and not feel like you wasted the last 2 hours.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Little Italy (2018)
3/10
Thin crust, thinner plot
10 January 2021
Think modern-day obvious Romeo & Juliet ripoff complete with over-the-top Italian stereotypes, but the only dying you'll see is on the inside of the actors who signed on to this project. Intentionally set in Canada for some laughable reason instead of just pretending to be in NYC with a few B-roll scenery segues so I guess it really is a tragedy. Something to fill the void in your heart until next year's comparable Hallmark Christmas movies come out I guess.
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
High schoolers aren't 27
29 July 2020
Tries hard to be witty, clever, & relevant, but 5 minutes in when you see all the "high school students" are painfully, obviously all in their mid-to-late 20's, it loses most of its charm and just goes downhill from there. Not to mention the silly and overused cliche at the end of the opening montage we see the protagonist lazily enjoying the view sitting in front of the Hollywood sign, which is something just about everyone in America knows isn't allowed yet somehow filmmakers still throw in out of sheer laziness to show L.A. All of that, and you still have another 134 minutes of a slog to have to sit through.
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Mandalorian (2019– )
10/10
Mandalorian Season 2 & the very last scene of Star Wars: Rebels
23 July 2020
I can't stress this enough, but if you want to prepare for what's going to happen in season 2, I highly recommend now that you at a minimum watch Star Wars: Rebels (if you haven't seen it yet it's everything the prequels and sequels should've been) paying EXTRA close attention to the very last scene of the very last episode. It's set a few years after the main story of Rebels, in fact a few years after the Battle of Endor (exact same time period as the Mandalorian), and in it we see a Mandalorian character named Sabine Wren leave with Ahsoka Tano (Annakin Skywalker's former padawan & my all-time favorite SW character ever created) on a MISSION together. Because I don't want to provide spoilers for those who haven't seen it, I won't go into the details, but suffice to say since Jon Favreau & Dave Filoni are now working together (each runs one of those two shows) AND that it was announced that Ahsoka Tano will appear in Mandalorian season 2 (probably played by Rosario Dawson), all my money is on a huge part of the story arc revolving around that MISSION. #ezrabridger
2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed