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plinko2004
Reviews
DNA (1996)
Brazenly unoriginal, but a blast nonetheless.
Let's get it out of the way now - this movie has not an ounce of originality in its body. The creature is brazenly stolen from Predator, and the plot incorporates elements of Jurassic Park shamelessly.
It is also an incredibly fun film to just sit back and enjoy.
Part of this is the surprisingly earnest performances turned in by the main cast. Despite the silliness of his role morphing from a scientist to a doctor to an action hero as the plot demands, Mark Dacascos fills his part capably. Robin McKee is serviceable in a sidekick role that doesn't feel like a waste, and Tom Taus performs well as a surprisingly capable stock child companion. The underrated Roger Aaron Brown has a good part as a scientist working for the villain who has a crisis of conscience about the experiment. The real show-stealer, however, is Jurgen Prochnow, who chews the scenery but just avoids pushing it too far as the mad scientist main antagonist of the film. He is always entertaining when he is on screen, and his death comes far too soon.
The plot is standard, and the visual effects bounce between impressive and bad. Mark McCracken (of Pumpkinhead 2) has a dual role as a tough soldier and the man inside the creature's costume. When he is in the costume, the creature has a nicely slimy and menacing appearance. CGI, however, is poor, both for the creature and for other scenes, especially the infamous helicopter crash.
All in all, though, this is a very enjoyable film for fans of B-movies. If you're into such things, seek it out.
Morlocks (2011)
Decent B-movie undone by major errors
While none would claim "Morlocks" to be an award-worthy film, by Syfy's standards it was good until a few major mistakes ruined all that it had built up.
The title is somewhat misleading. It is not a remake of "The Time Machine"; it is more of a reimagining of the main concepts, even moreso than the Guy Pearce remake from 2002.
The plot: In 2012, a team of military scientists led by the overbearing, results-oriented Colonel Wichita (Robert Picardo) create a stable, functioning time machine. However, the first mission to the future goes disastrously wrong when the team of soldiers sent to the future find the world completely destroyed before being wiped out by mysterious humanoid creatures, losing the Latch - a small computer device used to control the time machine - in the process.
Dr. Radnor (David Hewlett), the former head of the project, is summoned back by current project head - and ex-wife - Angela (Christina Cole) at Wichita's order. After learning that his technology was completed by the remaining scientists, led by Angela and Dr. Felix Watkins (Jim Fyfe), Radnor is tasked with leading a team into the future to find, repair and return the Latch. As their quest gets underway, the mission is complicated by missing soldiers lost in the future, Angela's need of rescue, and looming threats of the creatures - the Morlocks - and Wichita's motives, which are far more personal than the hunt for future weaponry he claimed.
The good: Despite being far more generic than the original "Time Machine" story, the film tells a fairly decent story. By Syfy standards the acting is not bad; Hewlett and Picardo turn in solid performances while Jim Fyfe steals his scenes as the mad scientist Dr. Watkins. The main settings - a dreary futuristic army base and the ruins of the future - fit the film's mood.
The bad: The usual Syfy creature inconsistencies are present; the Morlocks change size and number repeatedly and their endurance changes based on the demands of the plot.
However, this film is undermined by a few fatal errors that create plot holes so large they undermine the entire movie.
When Radnor's team first learns of the Morlocks, the soldiers in the future inform them that they learned the name from newspapers they found. However, this undermines the later twist that the "future" is actually only 68 years later, as none of the soldiers ever mention such information despite it being readily available on the papers.
Even worse, the rules of time travel are completely broken. Wichita's motive is to obtain a cure from the future for his cancer-ridden son, which he finds in Morlock DNA. This sets up the twist that his son is actually the first Morlock and his transformation is the event that destroyed the future. However, the future exists before Wichita's son was transformed, which is impossible; the Morlock DNA had to be found for his son to transform, but said DNA didn't exist until he transformed and the future was destroyed.
Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Overrated, offensive, disturbing. Does not deserve to be in the same sentence as "Oscar."
Over the past week I believed I had seen the most overrated film currently frontrunning the Oscars this year after viewing "Zero Dark Thirty." And then I discovered this abomination.
There is little to nothing to comment on regarding this film's script or story because when it is boiled down to its roots, it is a trite, cliché bore that has been done many, many times before and far better.
So what makes this movie not a complete copy of many films before it? This film contains a horrific depiction of mental illness that objectifies human beings as caricatures. Cooper's character, who is supposedly the film's primary protagonist, is portrayed in such a disturbing way that an uninformed viewer could not be blamed for thinking that those who are bipolar - a very real illness with very real, good people who suffer from it - are all miserable, violent people who obsess over others to the point of stalking them. His 'character' is then propped up and 'fleshed out' through a collection of tired tropes typically seen in Hollywood's voyeuristic, disrespectful portrayals of those with mental illness.
Avoid this sickening film at all costs, especially if you are someone who suffers from mental illness or are related to someone who does. It handles its subject matter in a way that will disturb you to the point of tears before the movie is even over.
Gekijô-ban poketto monsutâ: Adobansu jenerêshon pokemon renjâ to umi no ôji manafi (2006)
Doesn't measure up to the previous one.
After a spectacular high with the previous movie, "Lucario and the Mystery of Mew," can the Pokémon crew pull off another one? Sadly, the newest effort, "Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea," falls far short of the high marks set by its predecessor as well as the sixth movie, "Jirachi Wish Maker"---a relationship I will elaborate on further in a moment.
During the introduction to the story, we see a luminous egg float through the sea before being seized by a technologically-advanced pirate captain, Phantom. We are then introduced to the Pokémon Ranger of the title, Jack "Jackie" Walker, who has disguised himself as a member of Phantom's crew. Jackie seizes the egg from Phantom and escapes from the pirate captain's submersible headquarters.
Meanwhile, the main cast of heroes are wandering through a desert wasteland, and when they run out of water, conveniently run into a traveling troupe of "water show" performers. At a local performance, the egg makes a reappearance, being tended to by an oddly familiar clown soon revealed to be Jackie, the Ranger. It is revealed that the egg contains a legendary Pokémon called Manaphy, and Jackie's mission is to safely hatch it and deliver it to a place called Samaya, the Sea Temple built by the ancestors of the performing troupe. He does not wish to allow Ash's group to be involved, but an attack by Phantom during their trip gets them into it irreversibly---especially after Manaphy hatches in May's arms and promptly begins to think she is its mother! Much of the immediate plot following this details the development of a bond between May and Manaphy, and the establishment that Phantom's goal is to capture the great treasure hidden inside Samaya, the Sea Crown. The plot drags for quite some time before we finally arrive at Samaya, where Phantom suddenly reappears and finds the Sea Crown---a pedestal filled with crystals. As he begins to remove them, the temple begins to sink, however Jackie manages to replace all but one before the flooding carries him, Phantom and the last crystal away.
All the characters except Ash and May escape the temple before it totally sinks. They go back in with Manaphy and find the last crystal, but before they can replace it, Ash is forced to seal May, Pikachu and Manaphy inside a capsule Phantom left behind while he braves the nearly-flooded temple to replace the last crystal. He drowns in the Sea Crown chamber, but Manaphy's special powers allow May's prayer for his safety to revive him and give him the strength to place the crystal in the pedestal. When he does so, a green light appears and a tentacle of this light carries May's capsule to safety.
With the Crown repaired, all the water drains out of Samaya and the temple surfaces---however, May believes Ash died, and Phantom suddenly makes a last-ditch effort to capture Manaphy, since it can lead him back to Samaya at any time. The secret of the light is revealed---inside the tentacle is none other than Ash, granted superpowers by completing the Sea Crown. He outmaneuvers Phantom and rescues Manaphy, only for Phantom to attack with his submarine and its sonic blast weapons. A special song Manaphy sings protects all the wild water Pokémon from Phantom's attack, and then it uses them to destroy Phantom's sub. He is finally defeated by the legendary Kyogre and captured by the police as May bids farewell to Manaphy (which leaves her by speaking, in English, "Love you, mama! Love you....May") and Jackie radios his base with the news of his mission's success.
During the credits, we see Phantom and his crew in prison, Jackie speaking to an Officer Jenny, and Jackie capturing a Zapdos with his Capture Styler (a tool used by Pokémon Rangers) So, what is good about this movie? Unfortunately, not much. It is terribly unoriginal for one, sharing many plot details with "Jirachi Wish Maker." Phantom is an amusing villain who engages in a bit of slapstick comedy, but he has absolutely no backstory. Also, the token Ash death with him drowning in the temple feels rather tired this time around. Drowning is a common "death" that has been used many times in the TV series and movies.
On the plus side, Manaphy is adorable, and May waited a long time to get spotlighted (while Max, a more minor character, was highlighted three years earlier in the sixth movie) Overall, though, this one's disappointing. Movie 10, "Dialga vs. Palkia vs. Darkrai," looks to be much better than this. We shall see early next year if that holds true.
Gekijôban Poketto Monsutâ Adobansu Jenerêshon: Myû to hadô no yûsha Rukario (2005)
The best Pokémon movie
The eighth in a series that as of this month will run at least ten movies, "Lucario and the Mystery of Mew" spins a surprisingly taut tale, hitting the targets that the first, Mewtwo-centric movie misfired on. In addition to the title Pokémon, the movie also features three creatures called Regirock, Regice and Registeel, strange beings (even for Pokémon) that have braille writing in place of faces and empty, robotic personalities that give them a truly frightening presence.
The ending, in which two important characters to the story are shown dying, is surprisingly powerful for a Pokémon series moment.
I highly recommend it for anyone who's ever been a Pokémon fan. Casual fans will likely enjoy it, too.