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TheFemaleCenobite
Reviews
Die unendliche Geschichte III: Rettung aus Phantasien (1994)
Pretty bad, but I've seen worse
Yeah, this movie never needed to be made. Every time I watched it I would pray for the Nasties to just beat Bastion and his friends up and be done with it. Yes, I said *watched* it. As in multiple times. The only reason I saw it in the first place is because Ryan Bollman (who plays Dog) is in this, and I think he's great in it. Actually, Jack Black and the rest of the Nasties aren't too bad. If you just watch their parts and fast forward through all of Bastion and Nicole's little dramas, the movie becomes watchable. Sort of. So there's my advice. If you really feel the need to find out what happens to Bastion when he goes on to a cheesy B-movie career, fast forward through most of it and stop whenever the Nasties are around. If only just to hear Dog yell "Let's get NASTY!!"
The Forsaken (2001)
Trash....and not in a good way
I truly hated this movie. Not just a little, *a lot*. A *whole* lot. Yeah, it started promising. It went down hill from there. First off...exactly why was the "head vampire" scary? He had none of the charisma or sex appeal of Jerry Dandridge or David from the Lost Boys. He wasn't really that menacing or dangerous. Hell, I don't even remember his name, although I'm sure he did have a name. He was just some guy who was a vampire. *Wow*, I'm shaking. Second...I couldn't care less about any of these characters. If I don't care, the movie's dead anyway. Back to these so-called "vampires". I guess that's my biggest beef with this movie. I didn't like them. I'm the person who wants the vampires to win. It's sick, I know. They weren't even hate-able, though. A vampire movie is supposed to have blood in it too, right? I'm not asking for buckets, but please...gratuitous gore does not a vampire movie make. Neither does gratuitous T&A. Perhaps I would have liked it better if the vampires had fangs. Nah, I doubt they would have even been able to do a good feeding scene then either. Unfortunately, this movie is missing a whole lot more than that.
The Hunger (1983)
Hmmmmm.....
I saw this movie recently, and with the knowledge that this is considered a "cult classic" and is beloved by many. But, unfortunately, not by me. I didn't hate this movie, but I wasn't particularly impressed by what I was presented with. It's interesting and beautiful and all, but ultimately I was bored. I guess the Lost Boys, Near Dark, etc. must have done something to my vampire brain. It's not that I didn't understand it, or I don't "appreciate" artier films, because I do. Just not this one. I can't really put my finger on why I didn't like it. Well, if you no longer possess an attention span, and have a more Buffy or Lost Boys view of vampires, this movie is not for you. I'm an overall fan of vampires of all kinds, this just doesn't appeal to me.