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Reviews
Shortcut (2020)
Frustrating close to being half decent.
The recipe was all there. A pretty talented bunch of actors, a crew who clearly know how to turn out a good looking, slick production and a director who had a fair amount of skill crash into a script which doesn't know what it is trying to be. Atmospheric in all the right ways but completely lacking in development of plot or characters. It's so close to being a solid 7 or 8 but the writing weighs it down with exposition and shonky dialogue.
Certainly not a one star job, as I've seen MANY of those, but it's just missing the mark in too many areas to recommend.
The Nurse (1997)
There are worse thrillers out there... Better ones too.
Let's start by saying this. It's not going to leave you guessing.
The plotline is as deep as your average puddle but it's well shot and, for the most part, well acted. It's one of those "stock" mid 90s movies with pretty people doing bad things. At no point do you feel for the protagonist and likewise the antagonist.
You get what you pay for really (assuming you paid which you really shouldn't) which is a slick production of a clunky script with no surprises.
Redwood Massacre: Annihilation (2020)
Why is everyone American in a Scottish based film???
So, we're in Scotland investigating a Scottish serial killer. But everyone is American. One fella seems to only speak in marine movie clichés, one man looks like my hipster barber, one lass seems to make up the numbers and then we have the lead female who works as exposition for the poorly conceived and executed narrative.
Slow, ponderous and, if possible, even poorer than the first film. Although we at least got some brief sense that these characters had actually met each other before, unlike the first movie.
The only gleaming light in this movie is that my hipster barber seems a fairly decent actor. Why I have to supplement him with expensive beard trims and hair care, I'll never know.
The Redwood Massacre (2014)
Not even worth the curiousity...
Another reviewer on here sums it up beautifully by calling this "utter pish" and, to be honest, that's an insult to pish... Lots of running around, lots of death, not a lot of plot or character development. I was rooting for the bad guy throughout and even then it was difficult to care about any of it.
All goes exactly as you'd expect it despite the opportunity to do something new. Staid, dull and poor.
Hellmington (2018)
Wait, did they just forget to do an ending??
This film had the makings of something really interesting. The lead develops from stone cold bitch to something more interesting (although a longer run time may have made that process a little more organic), Michael Ironside is solid as ever and a whole host of weird and wonderful characters get introduced but never fully explained.
The plot, though rather conventional, has enough to sustain momentum beyond the 80 odd minutes of the film so why the crunch on runtime?
Without giving too much away, it's worth a watch and would easily be a 7+/10 if the filmmakers had just given it time to breath!!
Preservation (2014)
Awful... Just don't.
As others have said already, this film is just plain bad. Some nice writing decisions aside, this film is saddled with an awful script, totally unrelatable characters and a solid basis in "what the hell did he/she/they do that for?"
I won't labour on this review too much as I've already wasted 90 mins of my life watching the film. I'll leave you with this thought. In a film where a trio of teenagers are homicidal maniacs, the first adult to die is the highly trained & experienced veteran. What the hell?
Down's Revenge (2019)
What did I just watch??
Okay, firstly, I LOVE a good revenge horror. This is not one. Secondly, yes, I found this movie by accident and just had to watch it with a title like that! And that, really, is where the horror started for me.
From start to finish, this film is just awful. Previous reviewers have commented on the detectives low cut top and that really just about sums this up. The director obviously decided that she was the best thing in the film so you get lots of rather too close footage of her.
There is nothing redeeming about this film. No scares, no threat, no intrigue (aside from why the hell the pathologist suddenly gains an eye patch but maybe I missed that in all the nonsense).
Also, the title. It has nothing to do with Down's Syndrome, it has no character called Down and it doesn't appear in a town or area called Down. The character of David is potentially autistic but that's never really clarified. If, as I suspect, they couldn't find an actor with Down's and just decided "near enough is good enough", that elevates this piece from something awful to something truly heinous. The lack of understanding shown in this casting is just plain horrific.
Even if you don't follow my theory in the last paragraph, I still implore you to stay away from this movie. I tried so hard to find a redeeming factor but with underdeveloped characters, an appalling narrative and poorly shot & put together, there's little here.
The Last Days on Mars (2013)
Seems to divide opinion but I enjoyed it.
I had little to no expectation when watching this film. If I'm honest, I chose it entirely based upon the poster/cover on Prime!! 😂 Which is always an 80/20 thing at best. 20% of the time, it works all the time!
So, Last Days On Mars. As others have already said, it starts with a lot of promise. The visuals are beautifully crafted, the set & costume designs certainly add an air of authenticity whilst a particularly nice touch is the characters nationality mirroring the actors (I like little geeky trivia like that! 😂)
The cast do a fine job with some great development throughout the film. In particular, Liev Schreiber's character has some touching moments with Romola Garai's Lane. The atmosphere of end of mission tension between the crew is palpable. And there's just enough on the table to keep you interested whilst avoiding revealing too much too soon.
There are negatives, obviously. The "zombie" narrative follows very played out tropes. It offers nothing new to the genre and, as an engaged viewer, leads to an ultimately unsatisfactory ending for some of the subplots.
But, minor gripes aside, if you like your sci fi on the more fi side and less sci, this is a decent watch.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Noooooope.
I love the Alien franchise. Even the much maligned Resurrection works for me. Then Prometheus happened and, despite some epic visuals & a beautiful score, it was a horrific mess. So hope wasn't high for the sequel. And Covenant follows much the same path. Disappointment.
Whilst the opening promises much with stunning visuals and nice development of suspense a la the original film, it quickly descends into the failings that hampered Prometheus. The narrative is so convoluted that it relies on heavy exposition to really reveal what is going on.
Katherine Waterston does a good job once you get past the early parts of the film and Danny McBride is a revelation for me. Those used to the goofball that McBride usually plays may find themselves surprised by the depth he brings to his role. Michael Fassbender is amazing as ever and it does feel as if Ridley Scott has made these two films entirely as a vehicle for him!
In summary, this thing comes across as a pastiche of the original trilogy, harvesting many of the successful tropes of those films and saddling them with a ponderous and awkward story.
So much promise, so poorly executed.
Older Than America (2008)
That was a struggle...
Okay, first and foremost, the story this film is trying to tell is one that desperately needs telling. Of that there is no doubt. However, is this the vessel to carry that narrative?
Nope.
Ignore talk of "three stories converging" as I read in one synopsis. Instead, the film takes one strong narrative and intersperses it with strange subplots that jar against the overall film.
Mechanically, it's a slog. The timing is slow (which was evident by how many times I felt the need to skip ahead to cut through this). The performances weren't massively credible - a pre Hangover Bradley Cooper looks like he has no idea what he's even doing there and Wes Studi's presence as almost the narrator seems at odds especially when they drip feed a back story that's never fully realised.
On the whole, this film fails to inspire. I'd advocate anyone reading up & educating yourselves on the core subject, but this film won't help you on that path.
Revenge (2017)
Well worth your time
Okay, if you're after accuracy & attention to narrative detail, look elsewhere.
What this little gem is, is a good old fashioned revenge movie. Blood, violence, randomly beautiful cinematography, a couple of ridiculous chase scenes but, overall, worth spending the time on.