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Reviews
Road House (2024)
0 politics, but still not Road House
Nostalgia is important and sometimes it's better than reality because everybody can relate to it and it can create/mend friendships. That's important.
Road house is what you'd expect nowadays coming from Hollywood remakes, however, it is very more refreshing.
It's not a great remake nor is it a great movie, but it is a fun watch with friends and family if you have a few drinks and snacks. There's nobody dislikable here; it's a 2005 remake that you can scoff at but also laugh. Hollywood is finally getting it that you don't need to force weird modern social commentary down peoples throats and let people be people.
The CGI is noticeable, but the fights (while limited) are fun to watch.
Connor Mcgregor is very happy here and I'm happy to see him act in a movie looking like a Nintendo Donkey Kong family member. He's oddly very hard to hate as if he's so happy to be in a movie. God bless.
The music is fantastic in the Road House even though it's nothing like the Swayze predecessor, nor is the location. I'm writing this whilst drunk like always but that's when I truly love movies. Thanks for my Connor talk.
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Fun and probably the best we're going to get out of Hollywood.
I'm a big fan of the games (I believe there are 9 of them right now), which are intended for young teens or older kids who would like Ghostbusters or Beetlejuice movies. It's definitely a homage to 70's, 80's and 90's kids as the games are as well so I would say to check the games out or look up 'Let's Plays' on YouTube if you're not into being scared or have a heart condition (Jump scares mostly, the content is T for Teen).
This is overall a fun nostalgic piece of escapism made by ONE man who made a series of horror games with enough rich story to fill a whole shelf. The movie has been in preproduction 'heck' (keeping it clean since it's Cawthon and he as am I are a person of faith) for a while so that Cawthon can keep his creative power. It's not a perfect adaption but it definitely is the closest we're going to get to his vision/games.
The lore is pretty heavy R-rated if it explained all of it. Luckily this game only goes into the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd game installment (chapters) which is pretty disturbing enough as it is but once you get into the Sister Location and the final showdown towards the end it becomes like The Walking Dead's prime. The movie is pretty gory for PG-13 but let's face it, we've all seen Poltergeist.
The story takes up lore from the first three games while keeping it heavily focused on the First one. If you haven't read up on any of it (going in in blind) you will probably be disappointed because it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to put the whole story into one movie. The lore is very interesting and there's so many twists they have to make at least 2 more sequels to fit it all in there.
I'm not going to get into the plot because Cawthon made the games as an Alternate Reality Game where it took years to come up with what's 'really going on'. Play the games and read the books, for the full experience OR watch dedicated YouTube people cover it. I suggest the former.
TL;DR - True to the game and books, but too much for one movie. Fun campy humor without the sarcasm, lots of blood, and the animatronics are 12/10.
Monsters of California (2023)
Tom DeLonge is a jaded mess
As a giant fan of blink-182 and
somebody inspired to pick up a guitar by DeLonge himself, I was ambivalent to see if he could make a film nowadays with his fringe beliefs and faux one-sided message that "Love wins but screw those people entirely". A viewpoint that's popular nowadays with the constant distraction of UFOs and militant ideologies being shoved down your throat in every direction you look.
As someone who can believe in aliens, believes in God, loves people, I refuse to believe Tom DeLong has anything positive to say without stomping on everybody else. Not everyone believes in nihilism.
The movie is what you would expect: Very poor writing and acting, no direction in story, and preachy. I enjoy toilet humor but it doesn't add to what Tom is so endeared with. I would be on board with him if he wasn't such an iconoclast. His music is very fun, but I'm going to have to separate art from the artist with this one. We already have enough monsters from California.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
PG-13 with some cursing, but I understand why.
M Night has done it again -- he made another movie. I will watch anything he puts out even if it's not good. He does a very good job at capturing 'real life' by adding explicit no-holds-back subject matter that we all deal with and then adds a little wholesome humor with a huge dousing of the supernatural and macabre. Imagine him as the Alfred Hitchcock of our age mixed with Dr. Seuss. That doesn't exclude him from some problems with this movies.
Old, The Visit, Devil were all recent and above average. Lady in the Water, The Last Airbender, After Earth were average or lower but I thought they're worth a watch regardless.
His "The Happening" grew on me, as it reminds me of this film somewhat only the prior was more campy and satrical with a lot of gore.
Knock at the Cabin is a psychological horror movie based on a book with a different title (and ending). It follows a couple with a child who go to their cabin on vacation and are visited by four strangers who barely know eachother but have make-shift medeival weapons and were collectively told that the world will end in an apocalypse if the family trio doesn't sacrifice a family member. The family are rightfully skeptical until they start sacrificing one another every few hours, and then a natural disaster happens. The parents try and justify everything with reason and call the four cult-like people religious fanatics however the strangers are very kind and say this is for the benefit of mankind. As the time goes on, the family still says no and the strangers hesitantly beg for their lives as they ambivalently agree to be sacrificed. SPOILERS: The disasters (plagues) become too true, and the family begins to give up their modern cynical views on humanity and their distaste for society (because they're lifestyle was discriminated against), as they see that these strangers are willing to die to keep humanity alive regardless of who the family are (strangers as well). They agree with sacrificing a family member who asked for it after seeing the truth that we all can care for one another and that life is precious. God then stops the apocalypse immedietely and everybody on Earth stops worrying about every stupid thing and is glad that everybody is alive. The only people who know the truth are the last two surviving family members, and the four HORSEMEN of the apocalypse sacrificed themselves to a family of strangers just to help humanity realize it's worth saving no matter who you are.
Spiritual or not, this was a very ambitious movie especially for this modern age with tribalism and jaded minds. It's based off a book with an ambiguous ending, so many people will have a problem with it. Shyalaman's movie brandish dark material with a positive light including spirituality and universalism. I believe if you have an open mind and can see (without preaching) that we are here for a purpose there can be a reason for living.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
"Everything Everywhere Matters to Everything"
I like the 'Daniels'. I thought Swiss Army Man was a sweet and tender loving little dark comedy with a four-quadrant head on it's shoulders telling a tale about how life sucks and life is beautiful. It showed a disturbed, singled-out, man who gave up on everything and found a deceased suicide-victim who came to life with supernatural powers. These supernatural powers gave him the life to live while also learning about life from the "soon-to-be" suicidal. It showed empathy, gave nostalgia, and the flaws of man. The most POWERFUL line in that movie was: "Everything everywhere matters to everything".
This movie does a complete 180 degrees in terms of morality and says everything means nothing and we don't know anything and you are stupid to say you "know" an exact one thing. While I agree with the message "Be kind", it detracts the ideology about diversity. I hate politics and social justice issues being forced down people's throats but isn't the point of diversity being able to co-exist with one another? Or rather The Daniel's saying "We shouldn't exist, we don't matter." - a line from a very famous yet skeptic nihilist Nietchze who, in my opinion, couldn't tell a goat from an amoeba.
The positives: This movie is very beautifully shot, very well edited and they deserve a raise. The team is insanely good at recurring shots with different make-up and the cinematography is more beatiful than I've ever seen. The actors go 110% with what they're given. This movie is eye-candy.
The negatIves I already spoke about but I'll end it with this: It's a very pretentious movie with two men who want to forecast their beliefs with a hammer to your head about "life"; whereas their previous gem Swiss Army Man taught hope and acceptance in the simpler term that we can co-exist and be happy with one another rather than reject every belief system and accept oblivion.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Fun and free from telling you what to do.
Based on a true story simply means that the idea for the plot of the film happened in real life -- maybe more, maybe less. The one true fact of this nature is the first 10 minutes where a malfeasant drug deliverer drops cocaine from a plane into the woods of a southern state, doesn't land correctly and then a bear finds coccaine and dies after consuming so much that his/her belly was caked with a solid mass of it. (Poor thing, honestly)
The film is extremely self-aware and decided that it had to be made into a movie with a story somewhat.
The story is goofy and pointless but all-in-all productive in keeping us watching. The actors are giving it their all to be as funny and quirky as people from the 80s and 90s were (and still are :D). There is a lot of blood but it's still fairly tame. The comedy makes up for it being downright gross. Acting and writing is a solid 8 for me. It loses a point for the CGI but I also think that it was on purpose to make a ridiculous "sharknado" type film.
This is also a huge shocker since the Banks (the director), made this. Usually she's very active in politics and shoves it down your throats in her movies but there's not ONE stupid serious message in this film. That's a huge plus. Most films coming out even if it's a comedy has a very goofy holier-than-thou stereotype about people.
Worth buying on VHS.
The Strays (2023)
Rubbish
So. Another Netflix movie? Can't wait to see if this will be miss or maybe a hit. It has "social issues" in the title so can't wait to see what they can dish out without any backlash as it's welcomed in todays main-stream society.
The story follows a woman from the ghetto was in an a very abusive relationship, left the relationship without her two children. She moves to the suburbs and marries a wholesome dude who happens to be "white" (as if that matters). She seems to hate herself for being of a tanner color than most. They have two new children who happened to be mixed (as if that matters, again), and then the woman becomes extremely distraught and ill.
She begins to see a young man and woman who appear to look very insane and angry and begin to slowly corrupt her two kids while at school. The male forces the son to smoke cigarettes, and then threatens him to jump off a cliff making him release himself through his pants. Then, the young female befriends the daughter and fixes her hair into braids and get her into drinking hard liquor (The latter is more normal, I don't know what they're getting at here.)
Later on, the young man grabs a hold of the son's bully and wraps his face with plastic, telling the son to violently throw a basketball into his face breaking his nose (I don't know why there is blood. Did he die?)
The ending is extremely hilarious; so they finally admit that they are the woman's first-born children that she has abandoned in the ghetto and have come to seek reason and respiration (or so we think). She meets them in private and pays them 20,000 quid to go back to London and start a new life. They both agree this is a good idea. A few days later, they break into their home, flood the sinks with their cellphones, ORDER UBER EATS, and then play scrabble. The man pulls out a machete and grabs the husband (who is white just so you should know) and forces him to lift weights until he drops them on his neck, killing him (also a lot of blood for some reason). The mother then recieves the food from the uber driver, hauls ass, and leaves her current kids with the "forgotten kids". That's it. That's the whole movie.
This crapheep is an insult to everybody watching. I don't care if you have some animosity towards another for their skin color or wealth, it is evil. The forgotten kids act like psychopathics who want to act "poor and violent" for the sake of it. You don't feel bad for them, for the cards they were handled but they are literally the most ANNOYING in the movie. More annoying than the protagonist saying she hates being black. This movie hates itself and the whole thing ends up them killing an innocent person because of his skin color.
The Menu (2022)
Honestly good for everybody, even the cheeseburger.
This movie satirizes everything and everyone wrong with current society involving media, done in the right way. Despite whether what side of the aisle your on, even though it doesn't matter; I personally believe politics are BS, this movie attacks everybody equally. This isn't like Knives Out or Glass Onion where it's pretty lazy and one-sided -- It's clever and done with a mix of all genre's of movie-art.
Everybody in the movie acts above and beyond, even the people who get less screen time. The cinematography seems pretentious but it's all about having fun and including horror into a somewhat slapstick view of our world and why it's crumbling today rather than back in the mid 1900's where everybody is happy and wants a cheeseburger and smile.
Chefs are also artists so don't think I don't know that. Cooks and everybody into culinary, you are doing great things and thank you for keeping us alive lol.
7/10 - Satire that's not cringy and well acted. Also good horror elements. Quite funny, too. Have a great day everyone.
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
Wes Anderson films are pop-up books with realism.
Every single one of Mr. Anderson's films are pleasantly retrospective, artsy, and pay homage to simpler times. However, he mixes the pleasantness with darker undertones that are hyper-realistic involving graphic violence, language, and taboos. There's nothing wrong with that as a matter of fact I promote the morbid curiosity that he puts in his otherwise 'wholesome' debuts. Every movie he releases is a treat and breaks the stigma about everybody in the movie being "normal".
With TGBH, it takes things a little more Tarantino-esque and involves war. The acting is VERY good and everybody seems like they're having fun on set, even when they are killing somebody. Edgar Wright is the only other director who can pull duality like this besides WA and QT.
My favorite being Rushmore and The Life Aquatic, you'll find light and then darkness and then light. The darkness will freak you out since it's realism but for the most part it feels like visiting the Louvre and the painting is winking back at you.
Velma (2023)
It's not even satire. Just inflammatory of an IP
Well, I knew it was going to be one of those days where a lot of money is wasted to make a show taken from a beloved IP so that people could watch it and then watch it crash directly into the mountain without any self-awareness -- other than it being a Psy-op or a way to get more viewers to watch for 'it being so terrible'.
Well, well, well, here we are. The beloved Mindy Khaling who was on The Office and had a few cameos in the edgy television show Always Sunny and films with Seth Rogan, created the new "Santa Inc"; a giant mess of taking something that people love and perverting it with extremely fringe (and cringe) out-of-touch views by people who are more fortunate that others.
Scooby-Doo is a pretty sacred artifact, in my opinion. It's from better days where mostly everybody got along. This show does not have "Scoob". It's a caricature of creator Mindy Khaling who plays very liked nerdy Velma who is the source of finding clues to who the villain is in the horror-kids TV show and loses her glasses. Instead, what we got is Daria who is a bigot with a high-chip on her shoulder and thinks that anybody who disagrees with her is a bad guy from WWII.
Do me a favor, and watch all the Hanna-Barbera cartoons if you have Boomerang or money to buy the collection. Please, give yourself a healthy mind and soul and don't watch this pretentious garbage from people who probably went to Epstein Island.
Smile (2022)
Honest 7/10
I'm not going to talk about the plot, and please don't watch the trailer because this is a rare "ooh piece of candy" moment. There is zero-forced-social-political-messaging here and that's already a 5/10. We have no idea what his idea was for this movie so we can't say it's meant to be a "message" which is also a breathtaking thing because, for once, we have an ambiguous movie -- however it's a cut-and-dry horror movie that was obviously curated to be for the 80's and 90's cheese fans.
This is a wonderfully little popcorn slasher that is what it is while trying not to be serious. It has your typical horrible character trope where you feel claustrophobic knowing that the main character is the only sane one.
We have some cgi but also some prosethetics which I 100% enjoy. The only issues is that it mirrors The Ring, and other successful horror movies but all in all it's a fun trip.
Screwed (2000)
Extremely underrated dark comedy
Norm Macdonald (Rest in peace) is the lead in this movie yet again since Dirty work. It's a fun little film where it's not be taken seriously, and can serve with escapism even though it has gross elements to it. Everybody in the film seems to be improvising which to some it may seem a little boring but I liked it. The only character I didn't like was Sarah Silverman's even though she is more likeable than her real life counter-part. Danny Devito definitely outdid himself and this had to have had a part in his introduction to Always Sunny In Philadelphia. It's weird seeing Norm play a character who isn't sarcastic, however you can tell the dialogue was perfect for him since he can secretly play any role but chooses to not over-do it. Him and Dave Chapelle as partners in crime was fun to watch especially involving a desk-lamp. Watch this movie especially if you have a drink or a joint involved.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Halloween 1978 > Halloween 2 > Halloween H20
There's your original trilogy.
This movie retconned 2-Curse which, in my opinion, are fine movies but I'm also almost middle-aged and older movies work more for me now than the new "modernization" of cinema. I wasn't fortunate enough to see Halloween in theaters because I wasn't born yet (1987) but I envy every one of you who have. Carpenter's 'Halloween' will be ultimately the only nightmare I still have where I feel helpless trying to frantically wake up from. Chucky and Jason appear from time to time but it's as comedic as the theater. Myers is the OG.
Queue H2018 which is creative and somewhat feels like Haddonfield, made me smile at least. I prefer H2 and Strode being the sister -- hell I liked the third weird one and 4 onto curse because it's just popcorn in your face fun but it wasn't the original 1 and 2 (even though 2 was more of a gore fest than ambience and terror)
Halloween Kills felt like they tried to make H2 again but with social commentary and then Halloween Ends crowns it and it takes away the claustrophobia and realism that the first film had. It felt like the busy world of Richard Scarry and all these come-backs from previous characters didn't do anything but bring back a false sense of nostalgia clouded by hacks who worked on the film. I call them hacks because it seems like they are just cashing in after they gave up being creative. Hollywood is a cesspool afterall.
H: Ends, is a 1/2 a movie about a disturbed kid pushed into becoming a serial killer during Halloween. The 2nd half is Michael asking himself, "Okay, fine, this time I'll ruin the franchise in a pretentious way" and come in the finale and die like a b****.
Sorry folks, parks closed. Halloween H20 is still the masterful ending to the trilogy. It isn't messy, it doesn't have "tHe MeSsAgE" and it's fun... which is what it's supposed to be: A resilient lunatic trying to kill his sister and kills people around her along the way.
Bullet Train (2022)
Fun little romp
This is a fun little film which I was skeptic about as most Hollywood films that come hate their audience members and preach to them telling them how bad they are/were.
This film doesn't do any of that, or at least it's subtle. It's made by a stuntman-turned-director and is a popcorn-stuffing-your-mouth fest for the middle of the first-half all the way through the end. It's well acted with a lot of talented people and is, can I say, a little wholesome albeit violent (not as violent as they say it is except for one assassin who uses venom to annihilate targets).
Nobody is safe on the train, and we see main characters picked off at random times. It's pretty funny actually and a breath of fresh air coming from Hollyweird.
The best part of the film is when they announce new assassins even in the third act and they're really popular actors you wouldn't think would be in the movie for a small period of time.
The negatives are is that it's very slow in the first act and the CGI is almost obvious CGI. There's the word "man-splaining" in the film which is a made-up political term disparaging an entire gender but it IS subtle and ironic when you see the scene. I doubt it's meant to be ironic but I'll let it slide (just this once).
7/10 good popcorn flick.
The Curse of Bridge Hollow (2022)
Has to have the "message" and "checklist" even in kids movies
Just like Hocus Pocus 2, you can completely take this off the list for things to let your kid watch on Halloween. It's got dumb wokism like everything else nowadays. It's not the actors fault. I like Wayans and crew but stick to Nightmare before Christmas or anything Burton before watching this.
The only reason to have a Netflix account nowadays is to watch Stranger Things or a rare expensive drop like Dahmer, Squid Game, etc. The older movies are what I end up browsing through. Originals like these are not worth the expensive monthly subscription, or they're terms of who and how many can watch on your account.
Clerks III (2022)
Could have been 100% better, but soulless.
The acting from the main characters of the first film are why the first film made it so great. It was a relatable fast-paced banter of what normal people would talk about while working retail in their early-to-middle adult years. Fast forward to Clerks II -- still the same banter, but slower paced and more cinematic; while not forgetting where it came from. Both offer a very fun and honest watch made by someone who was once considered counter-culture.
Fast forward to 2022, and you can see what we have here is a direct 180 degrees. As an avid fan of Kevin Smith and have followed throughout his career (as well as putting Clerks as my favorite film on MySpace as well as Mallrats and Dogma), I saw a familiar change as I see in many that have sucked on the great teet of Hollyweird. After his massive heartattack and the loss of his dog, he has become more existentially repressed and has been mixing his struggles with what is "hot" in today's media (spoiler alert: not much).
Clerks III is very depressing, and unwarranted from the cacophony of fans who awaited any film that he ever came out with let alone Clerks. This felt like "member-berries" but flavorless albeit the acting from the OG cast was impecible this round. Halloran and Anderson shine in the dramatic moments. However, this was not what we wanted especially in a climate where everyone needs some sort of escapism.
I did not feel joy nor felt any sort of nostalgia other than the characters being in the film. I felt lethargic, tired, and sad when I exited the theater. I know this is a self-reflection of what Smith feels but making Elias throw a crucifix on the ground and then Rosario Dawson's character talking about how much sex she's having in Heaven and how she's not a romantic lover... just kind of made me not want to watch Clerks II again...
It's best putting this next to Jay and Silent Bob Reboot as consciously uncanon. It feels like an empty husk of a man who is fine with being washed up and just wants to charge fans 300 to stand with him at a comic book store.
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Failed cash grab
Nothing new from the new reimagined Disney. Just consume product and then get excited for 'new' product. It checks off all of the boxes and has nothing to do with the original other than the same characters return (who shouldn't have seeing as they were turned to stone).
This movie will appease to audiences who absolutely love netflix/amazon originals as the leads are two nobodies who are sarcastic and hate the patriarchy.
The first film is a classic 10/10 and an enjoyable rewatch as it has 0 political commentary in a kids film. Watch that, Coraline, and anything by Tim Burton if you want a similar wholesome-edge like the first Hocus Pocus.
Shame on you Hollywood once again.
Blonde (2022)
I watched this pretentious POS with my mother.
Hollyweird is really trying to top the Kirsten Stewart performance of Princess Diana by making movies on troubled actresses/actors and all of the negative buzz about that -- as if they needed any more bad coverage from the 'trusted media' we have to this day.
Marilyn Monroe was more than what this snuff film had to offer. Nothing of this film is considered good writing. What we have here is a hack writer and a bunch of hacks in Hollywood who have a talent of cinematography and no good use for it. The film goes black&white to color at complete random times instead of having any meaning for it whatsoever. This doesn't feel like it happens in the 1950s at all, it feels like a hit piece.
The gratutious sex and rape scenes are also an insult to the actress. We all have struggles but she made the audience who she never got to know (even post death) happy and was a role model for younger women at the time to get into acting. She was a beautiful talented simple soul and this movie just rips her to shreds post-death in this giant disgusting filth. This kind of film would NEVER exist in the 90s/early 2000s because even Hollywood would be sick with it. The only brave thing that came out of this was the anti-abortion stance which will not affect the final score, but I am against most of it so it's crazy to see that on Netflix.
2/10 because Ana De Armas is very talented this decade and she definitely deserves praise for practically getting the part perfect. It's better than Charlize Theron (Ugh)
Bros (2022)
Generations in the future will laugh at this.
I'm not a homosexual but I have homosexual family members who are married with children and are monogamous. Maybe some of you are polygamous but this is a moral taboo tale. It's nothing shy of Gremlins (1988) with complete degeneracy and people drugging one another and talking crap behind peoples back about stereotypes; whilst complaining they're being stereotyped.
Eichner was a respectable character in "Parks and Recreation", but this is just another Hollyweird modern Netflix-cringe-pushed-theater garbage. You're allowed to have the views you believe in, as I am, therefore I give this movie a 1. You don't represent anybody.
Dead for a Dollar (2022)
Westerns are fun when everyone is treated equally
Westerns are great. The older the better. The only reason I give this a 3/10 is because the first few minutes of the movie has that fast paced one-liners followed by shooting. It wasn't a great place to live long but my gosh was it a place.
The female lead is super annoying and serious and mentions how she is super intelligent and not "traditionally moral" and then tries to validate her sleeping with her student (which is a big problem with female teachers and underage males) -- and she is a total depiction of the current culture. She ruined the movie and deducted 5 points altogether.
Waltz and Dafoe are fine, they are naturals at what they do so no complaints there. As I said before, 3 points for them adding immersion.
Hollywood really loves to put rosaries and attack religion (one of them nowadays) unnecessarily on antagonists and it's becoming a trope. Absolute biased nonsense. Watch if you want, but this was a waste of time.
Bandit (2022)
Wholesome, Mel Gibson does well.
Josh Duhamel is a diamond in the rough -- I wish he were in more film; he's clever funny with a little bit of edge. This is sort of like Catch Me If You Can with the pleasantness as well as robberies. Mel Gibson once again produces and stars in this and you can tell because he plugs in his beliefs which are against the mainstream and does it in a subtle way that it doesn't hurt anybody unlike the other side does. This is a warm film about a thief who is a master of disguises and doesn't harm anybody during the heist. The police are jealous that he can live in luxury while they have to do actual work. Gibson plays a mobster which is fun to see him play parts that he wouldn't be in real life (Father Stu for instance), and is believable. Elisha Cuthbert is lovable as always and plays a really down-to-earth wife who knows her husband is a bank-robber but knows that the money belongs to a corrupt branch of government that forecloses homes.
Fun film, definitely putting it up there with American Made and Catch Me If You Can.
Stranger Things (2016)
Nostalgic escapism!
Netflix has a bad rep for making insanely one-sided content -- that also goes with it's "competitors" with a social commentary message or a re-imagining of home media from a by-gone era. This is one of the only (if only) originals that is any reminiscent of the good ole' days (I'll even put Cobra Kai up there, why not :D)
The story is still going on, and it's always refreshing to see how the antagonist(s) are evolving while the protagonists are also evolving by becoming adults or adults with struggles becoming even stronger. What you'll get is a science-fiction, horror, drama, comedy, all mashed into one.
(spoiler-free sypnosis)
During the late 70's, a young girl born into Big Pharma/Tech/Government blah blah is being studied for her strong telepathic abilites for reasons unknown and clashes with a group of misfit youths who have a bigger problem when one of them disappears out of thin air. That's it. That's all you need to know -- really.
It's a giant time period piece filled with nods to the movies and tv shows that made us love the simpler times. There are homages to the greats like Stephen King, Wes Craven, Steven Spielberg and John Carpenter. Some may say it's fan-service but the Duffer Brothers wanted to explicitly make an original story surrounded by what we loved about PG movies that clearly should have been PG-13 or R (Goonies/Poltergeist) among other things such as how adult-like children were and the rise of heavy metal and Dungeons and Dragons.
The film has no political commentary but will make fun of both sides in hints that it's all dumb. The actors look and convince that they were products of the time and is very convincing.
Each season is a presented as a sequel to a movie (as sequels were like the baby boomers of media in the 80s), and each one the antagonist grows stronger and every character has a unique utility to out-smart it. Both the adult and youth characters are likable even when they are being butt-heads -- they all grow.
Overall, must-watch entertainment especially during Halloween. It's a giant mix of horror and comedy and every scene has an easter egg to film/tv/bpoks during that era and even BEFORE. I'm not a fan of almost all media coming out today as it's heavily pandering to one-side of the aisle but this is heavily recommended. I didn't give it a 10/10 because it's Netflix and their policies are B. S.
Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
Refreshing, for horror fans
If you are a horror-fiend like I am, you will enjoy any kind of film that comes out whether it is bad or terrible -- however the only kind of "bad-horror" that comes out has a political message. This film does not have one, though it does seem so since it's about an Amish community. That part I can see why it might be offensive, which is reasonable -- HOWEVER, it redeems itself later on so I will not deduct a point on being directly insensitive.
The film is fine. The P. A. series as a whole is fine. They're fun to watch as a whole if you want to bring a few friends over and much on popcorn. You don't need to follow on much since the exposition helps you out (which I deduct points for).
As a standalone, this is fun. It's entirely watchable and you won't be disappointed. The Ghost Dimension and Marked Ones was a lot more filler than anything. LET ME BE CLEAR, it's not a standalone because they are building an ending to the series. I am not posting spoilers but even though the movies are pretty campy, there will be an endgame.
If they can make the last few movies end it TOP NOTCH, this may make the bad apples of the series tolerable. I can tell Blum has something up their sleeves.
7/10 - Refreshing, fun cheese, and lots of easter eggs as all of them do. If the movie is bad, just pay attention to the lore -- there's gold here.
Samaritan (2022)
80s/90s action cheese done right and thank goodness
If you missed the classic "Stick around" quote by Arnold Schwarzeneggar in Predator after knifing a soldier to a wall, this will please you.
We haven't gotten many if, not, almost any movies recently that feel like the old action-star movies of the past with the classics like Stallone, Arnold, Cruise, Cage, Stathom, Russel, etc. Sure they exist, like with Neelson but after Taken everything that comes out now seems half-assed and often preachy. There are few good gems still out there if you're into that nostalgia and escapism -- this one being an super hero movie made by his movie company "Balboa Films".
It's a breath of fresh air seeing Stallone back to being a badass after Rambo Final Blood which was pretty decent as well (See? Few good gems left). The film is action packed with no filler involved, it's in a way making fun of super hero movies that are constantly coming out, while not trying to start a fight. Personally, I think this movie is better than any Marvel movie that came out after Endgame (besides No Way Home).
It has positive moral messages without yelling at you like everything that comes out nowadays and I can tell Stallone feels that way as many of us do. There's a lot of action and watching him fight is always fun. This is a movie I will add to my collection. It's a 7.8 for me but I'll give it an 8. The only reason is for being professional and that even though I'm biased since I love the era of action movies (watch Last Action Hero where they spoof it), they're not perfect films; but by gosh it's entertaining.
The Black Phone (2021)
Fun and retro.
Ethan Hawke surprises me. He does really good roles and then plays very well in pretty poorly made indie films like the one this year during the pandemic. I give him an A+ for doing what he loves doing and also having a big heart to the filmmakers. (I will never forget his face in the car with Danzel Washington in Training Day when he finds out that DW slipped him a hallucenigen). On that note, Sinister was a great horror movie gem that he was in. Are there any more horror movies starring EH? I want more.
He plays actually sinister in this 80's Stephen King throwback as a child murderer who abducts kids and wants them to play a game where if they misbehave it justifies killing them. Meanwhile there is a black phone that rings even though it's disconnected. The voice on the phone? -- previous victims.
This film was well-done and a fun watch. It has a few unanswered questions like, why could the killer also hear the phone? Maybe the phone was universal to everyone in that house because the kinetic energy was so high with the spirits. I thought the sister being a psychic was really cool too and glad to see she didn't crap on Jesus entirely throughout the movie. That's always a plus. Long story short it's a slasher, revenge, ghost film that fills up nostalgia and doesn't take itself too seriously.
7/10 definitely worth it. 3 points taken away because as it was creepy, it was more of a supernatural thriller than a horror film. Ethan Hawke plays extremely well as an antagonist and made me bug out a few times.