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davidsco27
Reviews
Rambo (2008)
Absolutely atrocious, and I'm a Rambo movie fan. HORRIBLE
Let me start by saying I'm a big fan of the earlier Rambo films, and I love Stallone. I thought Rocky Balboa was great, and really applauded Stallone for how good it was. Therefore, going into this I had similar expectations, that Stallone would do justice to the story and the character. WRONG. OMG, I paid $1 for this rental and feel I got ripped off by $1000. One of the WORST films I have EVER seen. Now, I have no problem with blood and guts and gore if it's done well and advances the story. Nope, not here. I felt like I was watching a 14 year old's (probably the only age that will like this garbage) Playstation 3 shoot 'em up game. I mean, does EVERY character have to have his body parts come apart in blood and his innards splayed all over the place??? Ridiculous, and there is NO justification for it. The CGI, while very modern, was stiff as a board. Again, like a computer game with a poor graphics card. As for storyline, Stallone could've gone in so many good directions with this. Could've did what he did so well with Balboa, but instead, he gave us a gore fest, and oh, threw in a "tie-in" scene at the end that was completely cheap, and weak. The characters were weak, the plot was weak, the storyline was non-existent. Yes, we get it, there's genocide in Burma and it's violent. Halfway into this movie I wanted to rip it out of my DVD player, but I kept hoping it would redeem itself. NOPE. And, to top it off, the movie ended at an hour and 20 minutes!!!! THANK THE FORCE I didn't pay $10 for this crap!!!!! I think I would've hopped on a plane, flew to California, searched out and destroyed Stallone. I REALLY hope this is the end of this franchise. It has been PERMANENTLY tarnished by this one. Prior to renting this, I was going to buy the DVD. Fortunately, I didn't. I'll stick with the trilogy and forget this garbage was ever made. Please, people, don't waste your time or money. And those who say people who don't like this are not Rambo fans, go read a book, geniuses. Maybe even the first one of these. You might learn something.
First Daughter (2004)
Please
Come on. As hot as Katie Holmes is, you mean to tell me neither her nor her agent couldn't have given her the advice to avoid this drivell??? She should be ashamed of herself. How many of these stupid formula first daughter movies must we endure???!!!! Isn't there ANY originality in Hollywood? We had one with Amanda Bines, We had one with Hillary Duff, and now this one. PATHETIC!!!!! Even the commercials make me want to gag. Doesn't Katie Holmes have any respect for herself? For her career. AVOID THIS LIKE THE PLAGUE. SEND A MESSAGE TO Hollywood TO GET A CLUE! Can you say....."STRAIGHT TO VIDEO!!!???" This doesn't even qualify as a "chick flick" as no self-respecting "chick" should be caught dead near it. In fact, they shouldn't even go to see the two movies playing next to this in the theater!
A Night at the Roxbury (1998)
Please
Proof positive of why SNL has been unwatchable for the past 15 years. This skit is mildly a chuckle for about a half second. These two are NOT talented, and NOT funny. To try and stretch this patheticness into a movie is a prime example of why some movie execs should be shot on sight. Don't waste your time. In fact, I'm finding it even hard here to waste 10 lines on this drivel, but I feel compelled to warn people, lest they corrupt their minds. Why is it Hollywood feels it can take any character from SNL and just automatically make a movie out of it. Their time and money could be better spent on something worthwhile. And I would love to find the moron who told these clowns they were funny. Clue to SNL... It's called TALENT, FIND SOME!!!
The Goodbye Girl (2004)
Shoulda left it alone
Here is another example of a movie/show that was perfect or near perfect in its original incarnation, and low and behold, some unoriginal "genius" has to come up with the brilliant idea to ruin it. It's funny, my wife and I just watched the video of the original 2 weeks ago, before we knew this was coming out. It was my wife's first time seeing the movie, and she loved it. 10 minutes into this lifeless remake, and we knew it was a mistake.
First of all, you can NOT build upon or act against Richard Dreyfuss' original performance. Dreyfuss' Garfield was as near perfect a characterization as one could find. he was perfect and masterful. Daniels, while a fine actor, does not hold a candle in this role. The rest of the cast too appears to be sleep-walking through the lines. I'm sorry but, it just doesn't work. Patricia Heaton is obviously talented, and I love her on "Raymond" but she is out of her element here and it does not work. Hailey Eisenberg was cute to a point in the Pepsi commercials, but judging by her performance here, she shoulda hung 'em up afterwards. Blame can probably be placed justly on the directing, which is equally lifeless, and appears to not be capable of capturing the magic of the original.
The only saving grace is, it's on TV, so it's free. Watch if nothing else is on, but otherwise, forget it.
Along Came a Spider (2001)
Along Comes Another Great Book Ruined by Hollywood
Of the James Patterson/Alex Cross books, this one was the best. I remember being fully engulfed in the story and the way Patterson weaved the intricate Gary Soneji and his lair. That notwithstanding, almost none of it appears in this movie. Having come away from the 1st movie based on a Patterson book (Kiss The Girls) mildly disappointed, I was really hoping this one would be better, as it is based on the better book. WRONG! This one was far worse. Gone is the elaborate underground fortress Soneji kept his victims in, and gone is any depth and real motivation to his character. Although the actor playing Soneji is a great villain, he just wasn't given the material here to really shine, and then his thunder was stolen from him by a cheap Hollywood twist of fate that obviously some director felt was necessary (maybe to change the ending for those who have read the book?) Big mistake! It took an otherwise excellent thriller and made it into the typical run-of-the-mill 2-bit Hollywood excuse.
Unfortunately, this prolongs the recent drought of movies worth the over $8 price tag. Unquestionably, this past year and a half has been the worst in memory for movies, and I just don't see the end in sight.