roman8 Reviews

Love's Kitchen (2011)

Indeed not ordinary

[7/10 · 2 June 2011]

This a treat of a movie about... well, treats, actually. A straightforward script flows lightly and easily through a lovely British country-side, with leads who are having a ball and congenial supporting actors.

Dougray Scott is perfect as a romantic leading man, his Scottish brawl adding a lot to his appeal. Claire Forlani is stunningly beautiful and warm, which is a rare combination. And Simon Callow is Simon Callow.

What more can one ask for? Some weight possibly, more drama, more poignant villains? Yes, this could be a requirement. There is not much of this here, no suspense or action or tension in this movie.

Then again: life flowing like a nice, quiet river can be lovely to watch every once in a while.

Flesh Wounds (2011 TV Movie)

Not really new, but not really bad either

[6/10 · 2 June 2011]

This isn't exactly a master-piece. But it's not quite the opposite, either. There is some kind of story. There are some kind of characters, among them and foremost a world-weary, disillusioned black-ops guy, portrayed by Kevin Sorbo in a most convincing manner. There even is some kind of acting by more people than just Kevin Sorbo.

None of this is really very much fleshed-out, everything is a tad disjointed and quite... trashy in terms of production value. Which I suspect pretty much hits the nail: it's yet another remake of Predator, suffering from all of the original's problems as well as lack of money.

But there sure are worse things out there to kill 82 minutes with.

What If... (I) (2010)

Lost in Cliché

[2/10 · 17 March 2011]

"It's finally a well-made Christian movie," people said. "It's a faith-based family movie that gets its messages across without hitting you with it over the head," people said. "It's the best work Kevin Sorbo has ever done," people said. Well, it isn't. Whatever "What If" may be, what it is not is certainly any of the above.

And, frankly: I am hard-pressed to say what it really is and what the hell it wants (and I'm choosing my words deliberately here). What it quite possibly might be, is a vehicle to show you what excellent acting can do in order to carry along a crappy script set in scene by an uninspired director. Because although it is most definitely not the best work Kevin Sorbo has ever done (Andromeda, Hercules, Walking Tall, Avenging Angel, The Santa Suit anyone?), he does do a marvelous job here, congenially supported by Kristy Swanson and John Ratzenberger. But even the best acting can only accomplish so much.

The script is a mess - and a bad mess at that. Ben Walker leaves his home town for the big city, leaving behind his fiancée (why?) and his ministry calling (one may question how strong a calling this might have been in the first place) to take someone up on an offer for a business opportunity. 15 years later he is a successful investment banker, with a talent for merciless deals and a fancy for tailor-cut suits, expensive cars and beautiful women. We get the info that he's left his girl and his calling to fend for themselves, without ever throwing a look back. How some small-town theologian mutated into an investment banker no-one really knows. What's worse: no-one even seems to ask this question ever. Instead, the movie deals in easy messages: big city, fancy cars, uptown girls, nice clothes and general cleanness = bad, ugly houses in lower middle class neighborhoods populated by badly dressed, slightly dirty people with slightly slutty teenage daughters = good.

This is the enviable environment God chooses to drop Ben Walker in, after forcibly removing him from his upper class life on the fast lane. After a weird encounter with an angel masquerading as a mechanic that ends with a knock-out, he wakes up to being the longtime husband of Wendy (the girl he'd left many years before), the father of the said slutty teenage daughter (most woodenly played by the remarkably untalented Debbie Ryan) and another about 7-8-year-old, "supposed to be intoxicating sweet" one (Taylor Groothuis in an annoying cover-version of Shirley Temple) and the newly appointed pastor of a broke church and congregation. After much struggle and a lot of wise words from his very own, godly appointed personal angel, Ben Walker comes to like this new life and starts succeeding at it. Paradoxically, his success in this brave, new "white trash"-world is marked by him using the skills, talents and wisdoms he's developed in his big city, investment banking career.

As a result, the most predominant message of this most inspired work of art is: make lots of money, it can solve every problem you eventually might have.

At some point (somewhere midway through the dramatic finale) the creative minds behind all of this must have realized that something's not quite working out the way it should. In they threw a dying rich old man, who Ben conveniently puts back on track to God, thereby saving both "Scrooge's" and his own soul by it – for the sermon meant for the rich guy is, of course, also meant for himself, since the rich guy is nothing but a parabola of what Ben would end up as, were he to continue on the big city, big career road, blah, blah, blah… In case we didn't get that, he gets to spell it out later in a discussion with his personal angel, who chooses right this moment to inform him that God has now decided that Ben has learned his lesson and may now return back to his old life. May? No. Must!!!

So presumably, the second message of What If is "after solving it all by throwing some money at the world, remember that God is a bit of a sadist who likes to toy around with the lives of mortals", in short: the kind of deity Hercules would have found worthy of some major ass-kicking.

Back in his old life, Ben then quickly reforms by answering God's call: he dumps his fiancée (apparently, God told him to save himself and the world, but rich, middle-aged beauties do not qualify to be among the ones deemed worthy of such endeavor), quits his job, throws some more money and luxury goods at hospital employees and parochial helps and rejoins the simple girl with a heart of gold he'd left many years ago – who apparently didn't build up anything resembling a life in those 15 years, because after a bit of "required" struggle, she generously decides to take Ben back.

Apparently, this constitutes the happy end of it.

The only redeeming quality of this entire, sordidly stupid affair lies in the terrific acting of its three main actors. It is so good, it makes you laugh and cry and feel along with them, in spite of being acutely aware of how embarrassingly poorly written and told a story this is, in spite of the poor technical quality of the camera work, the crappy score, the lame jokes, the bad sound, plainly said: of the really bad work everyone not named Sorbo, Swanson or Ratzenberger delivered on this project.

Sorbo, at least, got a Movietime Award out of it. He should have gotten an Oscar, just for making it through it all with his usual decency.

Black Swan (2010)

Black Swan Down

[1/10 · 5 February 2011]

This isn't a movie review in the proper sense of the word, but more of a rant, mainly because the subject of this writing is... not a movie. What it is, is an amazing sum-up of all clichés people totally unfamiliar with any kind of performers - but especially with ballet dancers and classical musicians - think the lives of such persons to be like.

There are quite a few movies on ballet out there, that can offer great studies in character development - like Billy Eliott, for instance; Black Swan though isn't one of them, simply because it has no characters to develop in the first place, just two-dimensional cartoon-figures who can think and speak and act in nothing but common-places.

There are also quite a few movies out there that offer amazing, heart-breaking insights into the world of dancers - like The Red Shoes or A Chorus Line, but Black Swan isn't that either, opting instead to present nothing but prejudices and preconceptions that clearly have never been challenged by even the tiniest amount of research into reality whatsoever. People whose job is to be on a stage and perform regularly are disciplined - in body and mind. There are no hysterics, no psychological mumbo-jumbo fitting luxury house-wives with no occupation - and, since they are used to 'give' themselves to audiences on a regular basis, very little sexual immaturity.

Last, not least: there are also movies about ballet and dance, that can be gripping thrillers. White Nights comes to mind. Black Swan obviously fails in that respect too, because thrillers are "thrilling", which means that you cannot anticipate every word, every turn, every twist and still be supposed to wonder. From its first to its last scene, Black Swan leaves no doubts, offers no surprises, lights up no question marks. You know what it is, where it is going, how it will end and why.

In addition to all that: the cinematography is inspired by Peter Berg (which is annoying even in an action movie), the script is lazy, the directing uninspired and the acting left to its own devices. Natalie Portman and Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis and Barbara Hershey struggle with what they're given, but the truth is that they're given very little. (In fact, they are given nothing - little would have been an improvement here.) If you want a movie about ballet, dancing, music, psychology, characters or even thrill and horror, go look somewhere else. If, however, seeing Natalie Portman's transformation into Darth Vader is your thing, then by all means: go ahead! You'll find the experience rewarding, wooden dialogue and fiery eyes (yes, even THIS cliché appears) and all.

Prairie Fever (2008 Video)

Sidestepping clichés

[8/10 · 12 April 2008]

A western hero can fearlessly out-drink and out-shoot everyone without ever getting drunk or missing. In the rare cases when he does get drunk or - God forbid - may even become A drunk, he still never misses, sobers up with no relapses - usually helped along by a beautiful saloon-lady with a colourful past and a golden heart, meant to be mainly a decorative accolade to the story - and gets to shoot all bad guys single-handedly in the final show-down, that traditionally happens either at dawn or - naturally - at high noon.

Well, not this time.

We have the saloon-lady and she's beautiful, 'golden-hearted' and provided with a colourful past all right, but she's not alone: there are a fierce bible-quoting dragon of a woman, a sobbing, hysterical, agoraphobic, but sweet and naive cry-baby as well as an awesome, mad, ferocious pianist turned farmer's wife turned man-killer joining her for a long ride meant to take all of them out of the prairie, that drove them nuts, and back to civilisation. They are being accompanied by the former sheriff of the town they want to leave behind, a guy who, attempting to stop some bank-robbers, accidentally shot his wife instead, drowning ever since in self-pity, guilt and whiskey. Forced to accept the assignment of getting the ladies back home, he embarks on the journey of his life, gets nearly driven out of his mind by the company he has to keep, sobers up (when his bottles get smashed), discovers his... more feminine side, gets shot, heals, makes friends out of harpies and finds hope, a new purpose in life and true love, despite of staying to the bitter end respectful of dangers, reluctant to risk any other life but his and finally getting by without having to kill anyone.

All of this in less than 90 minutes, which makes the entire thing seem a bit rushed, despite the noticeable attempt of the film to take its time. Unfortunately it doesn't have any, an impression stressed by a rather random editing and a not always very confident directing.

The story and the acting though more than make up for this. Kevin Sorbo oscillating between exasperation and gentleness is definitely worth seeing, his whiskey-drenched, yet dry-humoured Mr Biggs an endearing and welcome addition to the traditional fallen, but somehow miraculously scrambling-back-to-their-feet heroes of the Old West (although I did miss occasionally his usual, contagious playfulness). And equally worth seeing are Lance Henriksen's remarkably relaxed and somehow charming villain, Jillian Armenante's gruff, dangerous and ultimately deeply touching shrew, as well as Dominique Swain's quite fascinating Abigail. The rest of the cast is solid, but remains a little pale.

Captain James Cook (1987–2000)

Aged nicely

[10/10 · 26 March 2008]

I haven't seen this in a while and was pleasantly surprised to find out it aired over the past few days. To my joy, it turns out that the series - remarkable at first sight - has aged wonderfully: the low-keyed, yet intensive enthusiasm is still there, as are some particularly beautiful sights of the ships in all sort of situations. The cramped, tense atmosphere aboard a ship and life and times in the Royal Marine are shown convincingly (I remember seeing years ago Master and Commander and thinking how much of that film seemed to have been inspired by this series) - and the acting is quite outstanding, Keith Mitchell and Jacques Penot coming to mind first, but certainly not being the only ones to have made a lasting impression.

The Arctic regions could have used better effects and the South Sea, New Zeeland etc. could certainly have offered some more outstanding locations, but that is really just a very minor complaint.

Meet the Spartans (2008)

All Fears Confirmed

[9/10 · 4 March 2008]

About Meet the Spartans? No.

About most oh, so very negative comments? Yes.

First things first: Meet the Spartans is anything but a cineast masterpiece. To all intent and purpose it is bad, but: it is MEANT to be bad, it is nothing more but one long, mean, cruel joke on media 'culture' in general and the American one in particular. Along with its audiences and critics. In terms of being made fun of without remorse, no-one gets left behind.

It's tasteless, and it's merciless. Mercilessly funny, too.

Is it badly written? Well, it's spoofing 300 - what did you expect? Is it badly directed? Well, it's spoofing 300 - what did you expect? Is it badly set? Well, it's spoofing 300 - what did you expect? Is it badly acted? Well - hold on a sec! Ummm, no, it isn't... Go figure! Sean Maguire is a bit overplaying, but by and large convincing - as is Carmen Electra. Casting Ken Davitian and Kevin Sorbo was a stroke of genius: they are both delivering superbly, and Dietrich Bader as well as Phil Morris are coming pretty close to their league, as well.

And last, but not least: painting abs and making fun of it might not be everyone's idea of style, but it's highly amusing, and the way those abs finally looked... Particularly Sean Maguire, Kevin Sorbo and Travis van Winkle offered a sight fully legitimating the entrance fee.

BTW: I watched this in Berlin the very day it was released, in the main Berlinale cinema a mere two weeks after this most high browed of all international film festivals ended. The theatre was packed, roaring with laughter - and no-one walked.

And yes, it very much follows in the tradition of Monty Python. And just as with Monty Python, I could have done with less body fluid on the display and less fart jokes, too. Hence just 9/10 points.

Walking Tall (2004)

Walking Out...

[2/10 · 11 February 2008]

It took me a rather long time to get hold of this movie.

I haven't seen the original from the '70s, but was quite taken with Walking Tall 2: The Payback and Walking Tall 3: Lone Justice; and as many comments suggested that Walking Tall 1 was the one with Dwayne Johnson - and much, much better - I thought I might give it a try and...

Ouch! Let me be quite clear: I have absolutely nothing against violent movies, I don't mind repetitive plots provided they're well told, I am quite comfortable with actors not trained by the Royal Shakespeare Company and I don't expect everyone operating on limited budgets to deliver camera work worthy of an Oscar.

There is however always a but...

Maybe I start with the good: Dwayne Johnson is better than in Scorpion King. Meaning that he now displays four instead of three expressions (although the trial-scenes are still something he clearly can't pull off), is a tad less late with his replies (it's always tedious to see someone deliver a supposedly spontaneous one-liner by literally moving his head first into the phrase he is supposed to say, thereby obviously anticipating). And up until the end - that is before he has to enter hand-to-hand combat with the sheriff - his opponent is quite believable.

And then there is the rest: a director who can't direct, but desperately wants to pretend he can (and not just direct, but direct in an artistic manner - there is hardly a more painful experiment to watch than an action movie displaying Goddard ambitions, and the scene with "The Rock" filmed from below, so that his frame walks as tall as the trees... give me a break! Just how tacky can something get?), making a cast who can't act, but - if at all - at best deliver replies on not always very timely cues stumbling through a script, that doesn't consist of much more but loosely applied one-liners, all of this in a setting that begins to bore one to death. (Honestly, people, I know Canada is cheap to film in and the Vancouver-area lovely, but I've seen these mountains now in X-Files, Stargate, Stargate Atlantis, Andromeda, Battlestar Galactica, Deadly Pursuit, etc. And as lovely as it all looks, there must be other mountains out there, too.) And all of it peppered by over-stunt, cartoon-like fights.

And yes, the famous budget about 30 times larger than the one for the sequels... Where did all the money go? I suppose it was spent on advertising this product, for it sure as hell isn't to be seen in any effort that might have ended up on-screen.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

A touch of Bollywood?

[8/10 · 6 February 2008]

Strange movie experience, really. Seldom have I seen a less differentiated 'historical' approach. The last piece of this kind that comes to mind is 300. My husband's spontaneous comment spoke volumes: "An American movie?" No, go figure! And still historic tackiness from A to Z, sustained by a direction Cecil B. DeMile would have appreciated, an impression further emphasised by the music.

So why the relatively high rating? Three reasons mainly: Blanchet, Rush, Owen. Their performances are worthy of kneeling down and adoring. Superb, really.

Some astounding, superb DoP-work, too.

Still: what a great movie this could have been!!!!

Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)

Almost a documentary

[7/10 · 6 February 2008]

There are many historical, so-called docu-dramas out there that are considerably less distanced, less balanced... In a movie the quiet, unexcited tone startles even more, but proves beneficiary to both the story and its messages.

The character-portrays are superb, the atmosphere of a beginning national paranoia captured perfectly, Strathairn is simply marvelous.

So the why just 7 points? Two reasons mainly: unnecessary sub-plots and George Clooney. As impressive as his work behind the camera is, in front of it he simply fails to convince.

Despite the already reduced pathos still a case of 'less would have been more'.

Walking Tall: Lone Justice (2007 Video)

Not quite as good as WT - The Payback, but...

[9/10 · 5 October 2007]

No more small town sheriff taking out the bad guys entirely on his own: this time help's at hand. No more solitary hero looking for revenge: instead there is a small family there to protect. And no more rednecks set on spreading fear and terror for reasonable profit: this is organized big city crime in all its nastiness.

WT - Lone Justice is a totally different ball game from WT - The Payback and it shows: it's shot and cut following other aesthetic and timing demands, the pace is very quick, the story doesn't take its time to let itself being told, the soundtrack leaves the C&W-style and goes for gangsta-rap (there are at least two remarkable pieces there, by the way). And yes, at least one scene is as brutal as they get.

However: like The Payback, Lone Justice is almost a genre-study, bringing all elements of this type of movie together, mixing them well together and keeping them in line with a steady hand.

The characters are believable - more than that: they are in fact so realistic, it makes you want to get involved with some of them every now and then (either to hit or comfort them, sometimes even both).

The acting is outstanding, although in this one Sorbo's performance is at times too much of a good thing; he is delivering such a terrific job of making Nick Prescott alive and understandable in all of the man's struggles, that the scenes without Kevin Sorbo sometimes come over as a bit flat, which - in all fairness - they are not: the ladies in the movie are awesome actresses, the supporting male actors all good and their play's showing lots of different nuances to keep you interested, and Haley Ramm is by far the most realistic teenager I ever saw on-screen. Still: Sorbo outshines them all and - as it isn't a solo for him, but an ensemble piece - at times it would have been better to reign him in a bit on the enthusiasm with which he makes the part his own.

Personally, I cared more for The Payback's relaxed, beautifully shot High Noon-approach than for Lone Justice's Miami Vice-style. But they're undeniably both honest-to-the-core, very impressing and highly entertaining action movies, straightly told, compelling stories about people one can relate to.

If one ever wondered what movies like The Bourne-trilogy would look like without the enormous budgets: Lone Justice is the answer. And that is a good thing.

Avenging Angel (2007 TV Movie)

Seen it all before, but...

[9/10 · 27 August 2007]

Wronged, silent hero thirsting for justice (and vengeance), finding a new purpose in life, a new family and saving the underdogs - and subsequently - a whole town from the evil, greedy, rich and powerful landowner aided by a corrupt sheriff and his hired guns...

Yeah, it's been done before, at times even better. But: There were some shots and scenes to be seen at times worthy of Sergio Leone.

Sorbo's, Watross' and Chinlund's acting is out of this world - and it captures the atmosphere of the old, bad, wild west marvelously. I do hope to see all of them in even more demanding projects. As well as the little girl playing Emilia, who did a really good job as well.

Highly enjoyable experience.

Walking Tall: The Payback (2007 Video)

Back to the roots

[10/10 · 23 March 2007]

Awesome, wonderful movie, finally showing that yes, the US film industry still knows how to make them. And demonstrating clearly that good movies are not made with big budgets, big names or big egos - they're made with good actors and brains.

The movie picks up all you expect from the genre, while sidestepping just about every cliché-trap by turning almost all scenes into surprising, amazingly well-written, well-played and well-shot little jewels that somehow still go well together to form a perfect necklace. It allows itself to start at a slow pace, taking its time to develop the setting, plot and characters, picking up speed as it moves along into a quite furious show-down.

If you're into country-music - the soundtrack is also quite worth while.

And the actors: from Sorbo's compellingly commanding performance, proving that he can carry just about every part he accepts with amazing ease - making it his own in the very first minute he appears on screen, AJ Buckley's scary and realistic portray of the villain, Yvette Nipar's reserved charm and down to Mitchum's weak run-along and David Frey's annoying and really bad 'bad boy', they all deliver a superb job indeed.

If you like the old 'High Noon'-like western style, if you're missing Eastwood's spaghetti-heroes, if you enjoy a classical, well-told tale, if you have lately experienced nostalgia for Steven Spielberg's 'Duell'... this is the movie to see.