kissmyasthma-95598 Reviews

47 Ronin (2013)

Cake With No Frosting

[1/10 · 23 April 2023]

A white guy Ronin? Not very likely. The original version has passion, this version with Keanu, who is as wooden an actor as there ever was. Lacks any passion. A movie about Samurai's, who we all know to be fight to the death swordsmen, that's rated PG? Not very likely. It's nothing more than a kiddie cash grab. Poorly done at that. I got about half way through and my thoughts turned to Hari-kari, to myself! I have seen a lot of great Japanese movies about the Samurai, this just isn't one of them. This doesn't even come close. Believe it or not, Tom's movie, The Last Samurai, was better than this, even after Hollywood changed the "real life" ending! This is nothing more than cake with no frosting. Not much to celebrate.

Leverage: Redemption (2021– )

Same Ole Same Ole

[1/10 · 8 December 2022]

So, Almost Paradise failed miserably, so he's back to the same ole same ole. Implausible, predictable, inane, and loaded with 25 minutes of commercials. I reckon there's a demographic for mindless TV. It would seem that's all Hollywood can churn out these days. Six grade writing, quick time camera work, a myriad of different contracted directors, unrealistic, woke, shameless trash. Complete with "feel good" endings. I guess when you're an almost washed up actor, steady work is steady work. I don' even pay to watch movies and TV, but I won't watch this, not even for free. I prefer something that requires at least a minimum of thought. I'll pass.

Death Hunt (1981)

Based On Fiction

[8/10 · 10 July 2022]

They should never have said it was based on a true story. Marvin's character, in reality, was young and killed by the mad trapper. The plane never went down, the pilot actually helped the Mounties surround Albert and he did not live, they killed him. What's the old saying, the Mounties always get their man. If they had left out the part about "a true story", it would have been perfect. The movie is a great Bronson vehicle, one of his best. Marvin is always great, and the supporting cast and cinematography wonderful, a classic if you will.

The Devil You Know (III) (2022)

A Million And One Times

[1/10 · 8 April 2022]

Bad guy tries to go legit and be good but naturally his dark past won't let him. Has this not been done a million and one times? And, was not every other one of them done better? This movie is slow and boring. I had more excitement on a sunny day as a boy frying ants on the sidewalk with a magnifying glass. The acting...what happened to Omar? None of the actors were credible. If you've been longing to paint the house, it would be preferable to watching this.

The Commando (2022)

What A Mess

[1/10 · 7 January 2022]

Yakkity yak yak, talkity talk talk. This wouldn't be so bad had it been written by a somewhat accomplished writer, but in this case the dialog is banal, inane, and just plain boring. I think the reason for so much 3rd grade banter is just filler in order to boost the running time. Mickey looks and acts like he needs to be in a home for the aged. The cinematography is great if you like looking at dirt. The story itself has been done a hundred times, and all of them better than this one. Too many plot holes to convey at this time, each and every one of them could be filled with the atrocious amount of inconsistencies. My guess is the limited amount of action and spurious amount of foul language would somehow be intriguing enough to hold the viewers attention. It did not! Let us not forget the originality of the protagonist having PTSD.

Again, it's been done a million times. The world has been at war since there were two cave dwelling families living near one another. So naturally, everyone on the planet now, has PTSD. I think Charlie said it best, "if Hollywood ever had an original thought, it would die of loneliness". If you ever get to watch this for free, it could fill some time, but if you have to pay for it, I wouldn't.

Right to Try (2021)

How Much Would I pay?

[5/10 · 5 January 2022]

I would pay anything to live. Does not matter the affliction. Problem is, I don't have anything, just like most people. Does not matter if its HIV or a hole in your head. The pharmaceutical companies have been making billions off every illness known to man. They have made billions and billions off cancer and never looked toward a cure. This movie is neither moving nor inspiring, it's simply venting. There is nothing on this earth that comes with an expiration date attached. Get over it.

Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

"Plot Kept Under Wraps", Really?

[4/10 · 29 October 2021]

There are literally hundreds of sites with reviews that clearly explain the plot in detail on the internet. That said, so you don't have to go searching, here it is. The film follows a young woman trying to discover what happened with her mother, who disappeared years ago, until she discovers a terrifying truth about her mother's past. And, it's in Amish country! That's right folks, the Amish are not without their spirits and demons as well.

Who knew, right? The film itself, is a bit of a slow burn for the first half, but the second half explodes into a gore fest. There are some scary moments, but nothing you haven't experienced with the first six films. More of a continuation I would say. It's not without some good cinematography as well. I gave it 4 stars for the acting and the aforementioned. If you're a fan of the series, you wont be disappointed, if you are a fan of horror films, there is not much new here to experience. But the "plot kept under wraps" garbage, just demeans the film as a whole. Not sure if that is IMDB's way of saying we don't know, or just a promotional gag. Either way for whatever the reason, they should have more respect for themselves, as most of the film viewers out here just aren't that naive.

The Cleaner (I) (2021)

Like Watching Paint Dry

[1/10 · 13 October 2021]

Ever wonder what washed up actors do for a living, just watch this and wonder no more. The dialogue was so bland and banal, it even made the mystery boring. The whole movie was a snooze fest. This is the director's first full length film and it shows. And King Orba? Really? What's in a name, in this case nothing. With a net worth of 3 million it's painfully obvious! The writing was horrible. I have had more enjoyment hiding under my bed eating a carrot. If you really enjoy watching paint dry, then this movie is for you. Otherwise, do what I did, turn it off and enjoy a good book.

Catch the Bullet (2021)

Bad Bad Bad, Just Bad

[1/10 · 10 September 2021]

In an online article, Michael Feifer said "we need more westerns". After watching this abomination I have to agree. However, he forgot to mention the other things this movie needs. Such as, a good script, better screenplay, better actors, and most of all a better director. This had to be written by a 3rd grader who read way too many dime novels. The actors must have been picked off the back lot and worked for minimum wage. The FX crew had to be recent graduates or still in school. The sound crew had to be using cell phones. The entire movie is just awful. Tom Skerritt must be in dire need of money, either that or he just can't get work. Unless you can watch for free like I do, SAVE YOUR MONEY! This trash is just bad, bad, bad, just bad.

African America (2021)

Embezzled = Stolen

[1/10 · 2 September 2021]

I just love the English language, there is a fanciful word for everything. The description says "embezzles funds" which simply means she stole the money. So basically she comes to America and steals money to make a better life for herself and then wonders why the US is not as welcoming as she dreamed. Seems to me she will fit right in.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

CGI for the ADD

[1/10 · 4 July 2021]

Ah yes, another movie for the cellphone addicted. For all those with the attention span of gnats. If something isn't blowing up every two minutes they would lose interest and move on to TikTok, Facebook, or Twitter. No acting, no plot, no story, no logic whatsoever, just shoot this, blow up that, computer generated everything, and viola, you have a blockbuster. Blockbuster is Hollywood speak for money! With the right amount CGI for the ADD afflicted you have something to separate money from the smarter-than-they-are cellphone generation. Plus, you need to generate publicity with hundreds of nonsense articles placed on Google, Bing, and Yahoo on a daily basis. Complete with reviews from critics no one has ever heard of because the were generated by computer as well. I would say read a book, but lets face it, if it's not a comic book, on their cellphones, what would be the point.

Fargo (2014–2024)

50/50

[6/10 · 25 June 2021]

The first two seasons were beyond great. The stories were great and the characters where depicted with perfection. Season three was boring boring boring, the stamp story was lame and characters unlovable. Season four was too convoluted and idiotic. After the first two massacres you would have thought the trading of the children would have been kicked to the curb. Not to mention Chris Rock as the lead bad guy. He wasn't anything but annoying when I first saw him on Miami Vice back in the day. Aside from having his teeth fixed, his acting and comedy are still annoying. If they ever have a season 5, I do hope they get the good writers back and get their story back on track.

Mama June: Road to Redemption (2017– )

Why Tigers Eat Their Young

[1/10 · 22 March 2021]

Drunken sailors returning home from 10 months at sea would not find this woman hot! Is this what TV has come to? Fat, stupid, ignorant, and ugly? If this is true, wouldn't society's richest be 99% of the population? If this is the way to wealth, them I'm going to take and ice pick to my face, tack on 200lbs, and give myself a lobotomy.

1000-lb Sisters (2020– )

It's A Ton, But Not Much Fun

[1/10 · 27 January 2021]

So this is what it's come to, watching 2 obese sisters literally eat themselves to death. P.T. Barnum would be so proud, yet here we are a little shy of two hundred years later, watching the freak show on digital cable TV. I can only imagine the remuneration they receive for shaming themselves publicly is quickly swallowed whole before ever reaching the local S & L. I can't imagine this show lasting very many seasons, let's just hope they are welcomed with open arms in Gibsonton, Florida when this is all over.

The Monopoly on Violence (2020)

Leaderless, Hopeless, Lifeless

[1/10 · 13 January 2021]

No governments, no state, no leaders, no taxes. We don't need medicine, clean water, food on shelves, electricity or anyone telling us we what we do need. And, we damn sure don't to spend money on anything that gets broken or is in need of replacement. In a world with 7.8 billion people on the planet, it basically becomes every man for himself, because, heaven forbid, another man tell any man what to do or how he should do it. Seems to me there won't be any "monopoly" on violence, it will eventually be in every mans hands, only becoming a monopoly when it's in the hands of the last man standing. This isn't a documentary, it's a rant by a particular shepherd looking for his sheeple.

Wander (I) (2020)

Leads One To Wonder

[1/10 · 8 December 2020]

I'm still baffled as to what the heck this movie is all about. Immigration, murder, PTSD, mystery or what? Great actors whose talent was nothing more than wasted. It was written for anyone with at least a sixth grade education. As conspiracy theories go, most of them are the product of unmedicated schizophrenia, but this movie doesn't even reach THAT level. The direction was lacking a director to direct the director. The camera work failed completely. The entire movie is an unmitigated mess. I was thinking the whole thing was sloppily put together to turn over a quick buck, but even then, it would have to garner viewers to make that possible and I can barely see this making back the money used to produce it. I can only believe that the actors did this out of friendship to one or more of the producers, not really caring about the money. There is no mystery to it, and PTSD has been done to death, and far better than this movie. As to illegal immigrants, well then, it's illegal. If there are no consequences then anyone and everyone who has ever been convicted for doing anything illegal should be freed immediately. I'm truly at a loss to figure just where this movie was going and what it was trying to say. It certainly leads me to wonder.

Vanguard (2020)

Too Bad

[1/10 · 16 November 2020]

Jackie Chan can be a good dramatic action actor. This is only when the movie is produced by the west, with the right direction and script. The Foreigner would be a great example. I'm not sure if he does these for the quick buck or what, but this is just another Hong Kong action crap fest. Same ole same ole, been there and done that, by him, a hundred times over. It's really too bad, I've been waiting some time for him to do another good movie. Unless you get a free presentation of this movie, I would advise against spending any money on it.

The Liberator (2020)

A Netflix Cartoon

[1/10 · 12 November 2020]

So that's what it's come to? Netflix cartoons! Please forgive me, "animation" for all those who live with the rainbows and unicorns. A PC cartoon at that. Mexicans, Native Americans, and Cowboys. All coming together to make the world a better place. Pahleeeeez! Someone even said if you liked "Band of Brothers/ Pacific", you will like this. Problem is, BOB/P was based on real events and filmed by real actors. I can only imagine most of the "positive" reviews are coming from those wanting to justify the money spent on Netflix subscriptions. The show itself is not based in reality, the animation is poor, the narration ghastly, and the writing geared toward 6th graders. I'm just glad I never pay for TV, Movies, or Cartoons. I have no doubt that most of the reviewers on here don't even know where the term "cartoon" came from thanks to the beginning of the end of drive-ins starting back in the late 70's. Someone said it "honors heroes", and it could not be farther from the truth! Every year on Veterans Day, I go to where my Grandfather, Father, and Brother are buried, because that's where all the "real" heroes are. I believe the real reason for animation and filters, is because of the covid problem, and Netflix is desperate for income. If you are in need for real entertainment, read a book. Nobody ever got covid from reading, and it's a far better investment.

The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)

Just Plain Stupid

[1/10 · 11 October 2020]

Where to begin, horrific acting, terrible script, etc. Tries for comedy and ends up just being lame, except for the monster costume and effects, now that was funny! I can only assume most of the positive reviews are being posted by those who were involved with the production of this trash. I have read adjectives describing this movie like, good, brilliant, charming, gem, etc. I can only assume that these people are lying, or they have never in their lives seen a movie before. One person likened Jim Cummings to Orson Welles, really? Mr. Forster passed away in Oct. 2019, which means they delayed the movie for a year. Most likely because they new it was trash, but with everyone staying indoors these days, they figured to garner more viewers and decided to finally release it. Luckily I never pay to watch movies, even though it was free, I still didn't make it all the way through. I just couldn't stomach it any longer. For those of you who have to pay for movies, SAVE YOUR MONEY!

American Woman (2019)

American Fiction

[1/10 · 1 July 2020]

Leave it to Hollywood to consider the average American movie goer to be under the age of 45. This would allow for the artistic license applied to this uninspired drivel. Artistic license being Hollywood speak meaning made up garbage based on lies! A great many of us remember the Patty Hearst story quite well as it was nowhere near "confounding" as one reviewer put it. She was not a "billionaire daughter", she an heiress to a millionaire newspaper owner. Another reviewer said that she was "non-violent", and yet all of us who were alive at the time remember her picture on the front page of those very same newspapers, of her holding a machine gun. This movie is nothing more than a fictional drama alluding to a connection to Patty in order to garner the attention required to separate the millennial's from their money. Save your money and read all about the real story via the myriad of on-line college libraries.

Almost Paradise (2020– )

not even close!

[1/10 · 1 April 2020]

Where to begin? A military base in Cebu, not a chance, there are no military bases in the Philippines, they were all closed down years ago. Anyone with access to the internet knows this. A U.S. citizen can not buy property or a business in the Philippines. You have to be married to a Filipina and it has to be under her name and then it has to be registered with the BIR. There is no gift shop in the Philippines, it is called Pasalubong! Anyone who has ever been there knows this. Most of all, while it's true the people of the Philippines can speak English, understanding it is another thing altogether. They speak Tagalog, it is their national language, of which there are 150 different dialects. They have a very hard time with English, so much so, they have a saying there, "having a nose-bleed". Meaning, it being so hard to put their thoughts into English it makes their nose bleed. When is Hollywood going to realize that just because Americans don't live there it's OK to lie and make up BS? The fact is I do live in the Philippines, as well as a great many other American expats. I am married to a Filipina and I speak Bisayan. This show is some of the worst garbage I have seen in years. PS: I was the first to review this new show. Within 24 hours of my post, there have been 13 new reviews added. Of those, 8 of the 10's have only ONE review, this show! Real or as fake as this show? You be the judge.....

The Hunt (II) (2020)

new and refreshing....not!

[1/10 · 21 March 2020]

Woman smart, man stupid...woman strong, man weak...woman good, man evil, etc, etc, etc... When does it end? Yes, I agree, for years women in general and in Hollywood, have been getting the short end of the stick. But does every new show and movie that comes out have to shove this old fact down our throats? It's nowhere near new and refreshing! It's old and cliche', just like the man always being the hero is cliche'. When is Hollywood going to combine the two? Men and women can be smart, strong, and good, IN THE SAME MOVIE! Just as well as stupid, weak, and evil. This movie, as it's said, talked about but not seen. That's because, all the talk is about how stupid it is. Hence, no one is watching! Besides the fact that I am a man, I can count to 21, (standing naked in front of a mirror), and I managed to put this fact together, all on my own! There is a reason this movie's original air date was postponed, as well as newly aired and immediately being streamed. It's garbage!

True Life: Crime (2020–2021)

True Life Garbage

[1/10 · 31 January 2020]

As soon as I saw MTV, I knew there would never be anything that even comes close to the truth. The first episode doesn't even have a crime! It's the family believing it MUST be a crime. Talk about denial. Episode two is nothing more than head shots of Catfish eyeballing the camera. Not sure what that has to do with a crime. But then that's most likely MTV thinking all of America is nothing more than illiterate tweens. I love a good documentary, unfortunately, this isn't one of them. Not even close. MTV should stick to what it does best, fool teenagers into giving them money.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Rated PC-13

[1/10 · 22 January 2020]

Where to begin. Half the movie is in Spanish, but then given the current climate, what with the snowflakes thinking that nobody needs to file for residency when it comes to immigration, it's understandable. The protagonist is a woman because women being able to do anything a man can do is all the rage now. However, in the movie she did say she was human just augmented. Trust me, she isn't augmented in the right places. The dialogue was written by a 6th grader, its either that or Hollywood writers are on the verge of illiteracy these days. It is absolutely pathetic. Then there's the action. Loads and loads of CGI and nonstop action. I guess they figured if the action never stopped no one would notice the inane dialogue. They were wrong! Then again, it could be they figured the smartphone generation with the attention span of a gnat would walk out on the movie if something wasn't blowing up every two minutes. Either way it gets boring in a quick hurry. Just when all this isn't enough, Grandma shows up with an automatic shotgun and a laws rocket. I almost fell over laughing. I kind of felt bad for a bit, because it's obvious, whoever put this together, meant for it to be serious. Far be it from me to offend them, albeit at this point they are the ones insulting my intelligence. It is at this point in the movie that I stopped watching. I just couldn't take it anymore. Anymore would have just turned sad.

The Ranch (2016–2020)

was good, now it's gone

[7/10 · 20 December 2019]

The show was good, that is until they got rid of the funniest character. then they brought in some lame dork to fill the spot. and now the show is dead in the water. fair to say too much negative exposure ruined it....ya metoo!