rhefner2002 Reviews

Publish or Perish (2023)

Some humorous bits, but needs a re-write

[5/10 · 25 January 2024]

As a former professor of English, I can attest that there is nothing more petty than university politics. It's a topic worthy of satire, and this film delivers it. But there are some major flaws.

A dark comedy about an English professor trying to get tenure, Publish or Perish has some amusing moments, but somevof the dialogue sounds awkward and fake. There are also some inexcusable factual errors. The professor refers to his classes as "English Literature," but in a early scene, he's teaching Kurt Vonnegut. Later, he goes to a junkyard to get a wheel, but it's actually a tire. Any screenwriter worth his or her salt would spot these mistakes and correct them.

In addition, the lack of character development undermines any kind of emotional investment in the players. The protagonist professor is distinctly rude and unlikable, but we're given no idea why. The college dean is a stereotypical pompous ass, bereft of any nuance. The professor's wife is little more than an appendage of her husband. What's missing here is any kind of insight into these people's personalities.

To its credit, the film's plot gets fairly suspenseful, and its absurdist approach is consistent.

This is not a bad movie, just one that needs more depth in its characters and some work on the script.

Love Thy Neighbor (2006 TV Movie)

Embarrassingly bad

[1/10 · 1 December 2023]

I have no excuse for watching this movie, other than being in some kind of self-flagellating mood. Within five minutes, the amateurish acting and the phony sounding dialogue tipped me off that I was watching junk. But I hung in there for some perverse reason. All I can say is, it was the equivalent of a 90 minute coma.

The only reason I gave this movie one star is that it's apparently not possible to give zero.

Movies like this make me wonder: Who actually finances this stuff? Could they actually think that audiences are this dumb? Unfortunately, I believe that the producers of this crap know exactly what they're doing.

The Quarry (2020)

Steadily compelling

[8/10 · 29 May 2023]

I say "Horse****" to all of the critics, professional and otherwise, who complain about this movie's slow pace. Yes, it's not a fast action film, but it unfolds steadily and the serious subtexts are developed intelligently. Most hit films don't even have subtexts.

The performances of Michael Shannon and Shea Whigham are among the best I've ever seen. Supporting cast is top notch, too.

This film makes you think and contemplate. I submit that the naysayers don't want to do either. They just want the usual in your face, Hollywood blockbuster crap. Too bad. Here is a film that is drenched with atmosphere, profound subject matter, beautiful cinematography, and thoughtful acting. Don't miss this. Be receptive when you watch it, and you'll be greatly rewarded.

Gatecrash (2020)

Pretentious and pointless

[1/10 · 16 May 2023]

A silly, pretentious theatrical play that has been made into a silly, pretentious movie. I guarantee that you will be bored senseless within the first 15 minutes. When some actual action finally occurs, your boredom won't be alleviated.

In addition, there are many inexplicable aspects to the story that are never explained. I suppose the writer thought he or she was being "artistic." Well, here, "artistic" means banal and uninteresting.

This is one of those films that will never make it into theaters, and I doubt if it even got much coverage on the festival circuit.

Do yourself a favor and pass this one up.

Clean (IV) (2021)

Embarrassingly bad

[2/10 · 14 May 2023]

A shameless knockoff of Scorsese's Taxi Driver, Clean hasn't lowered my opinion of Adrian Brody's acting, but it has reminded me that good actors don't necessarily make good writers or producers.

The cliches in this film are countless: The white guy with a criminal past who is trying to atone for his sins; black people living in poverty who need a "savior": crude, violent gangsters who won't hesitate to kill anyone, women or child, who gets in their way, and that's just the start of a very long list.

The soundtrack, mostly rap music composed by Brody, is appropriate to the subject matter. It's ugly, simplistic, violent, and depressing.

Brody apparently thinks he was doing some kind of meaningful social commentary in this film. But by making all the characters, including his own, into cartoon character stereotypes, he lost me, along with a majority of film critics.

The violence in this film is absolutely stomach churning. And it's inexcusable----pure sensationalism.

Brody has distinguished himself in several very good movies. But he needs to stick to acting. His script-writing and soundtrack composing abilities are embarrassingly bad.

Woman Undone (1996 TV Movie)

Classic bad movie

[3/10 · 26 April 2023]

"Woman Undone" is an exercise in bad moviemaking. The story is idiotic, the dialogue is amateurish, and the acting is wooden. The cinematography is unimpressive. The movie even looks bad, like it was shot on cheap film stock.

There are a few capable actors here, but none of them seem particularly enthused about being involved in this nonsense.

Mary McDonnell plays Terri, an unhappy wife who has relocated to L. A. with her jealous, moody husband (Randy Quaid). In the opening scenes, they're out in the desert, and he is burned to a crisp in their car while she stands on a hill with a horrified look on her face. The local sheriff is sympathetic after what appears to be a horrible accident. No big spoiler: It's not. An autopsy reveals that The charred corpse of her husband had a bullet in his brain.

A semi-retired lawyer (Sam Elliott) agrees to take Terri's case when she is arrested for murder. Just to add to the silliness, we learn in flashbacks that Terri has been boffing a young swim instructor (Benjamin Bratt, in what must be his dumbest role ever).

Did Terri murder her husband? The outcome is somewhat unexpected, but it doesn't lend any sympathy to her pathetic character.

You'll watch this one with a smirk on your face, and you'll cringe repeatedly as you witness some genuinely terrible film making. It's so bad that it's almost fun.

The Pale Man (2017)

Amateurish and just plain bad

[2/10 · 4 November 2022]

I try to go easy on low budget indie films. Some are really good, better than the usual big Hollywood studio stuff.

Not this one. The protagonist, Taylor Bostwick, is like the worst actor in a high school play. She's incapable of delivering lines with any conviction or nuance. She's cardboard faced and just generally vacuous. This is truly one of the worst lead performances I've ever seen. The supporting actors don't fare much better.

As to the script, she's on the phone to her shrink and tells him that she's stranded in some nowhere town. She asks him to phone in a scrip to the pharmacy and then hangs up. She hasn't told him the name of the town or the number of the pharmacy. But a couple of scenes later, she's taking the pills. Writing this bad is inexcusable.

The time period of the story is not even clearly established. It appears to be early 1960's, but there are all kinds of inconsistencies. Bostwick's car is an early 1960's Ford Falcon, but when she's sitting behind the wheel, the mechanic tells her to "pop the hood." In the early 60's, cars didn't have inside hood releases. A pay phone in a later scene says "50 cents." Phone calls were a dime back then.

As to the story, it involves a missing woman, and the "mystery" is so inane that you'll be rolling your eyes.

I watched this with a kind of horrified fascination. Movies this bad should be taught in film schools as examples of what not to do.

Never Here (2017)

Pretentious nonsense

[2/10 · 2 November 2022]

A conceptual artist whose silly and meaningless work puts her on magazine covers and allows her to afford a large Manhattan apartment and a studio---is anybody actually buying this?

The characters are shallow and pretentious, but this is not a satire or a critique of the New York art scene; it unfortunately takes itself very seriously.

The camera work and pacing are self-consciously artsy, to the point of nausea.

There is a very slim plot involving a possible stalker / murderer. But it will bore you senseless.

The two stars are for Sam Shepard. He doesn't have a lot to work with here, but he's he one character with some actual human traits.

This movie is the equivalent of staring at Andy Warhol's work for two hours. It makes you wonder how no-talent posers ever came to be seen as legitimate artists. (Yes, I'm talking about the filmmaker).

And that idiotic, androgynous black and white photograph on the living room wall----I wanted to throw a brick at it.

Don't watch this.

Eye of the Beast (2007 TV Movie)

Make some popcorn and grade it on a curve

[4/10 · 9 September 2022]

"Eye of the Beast" clearly draws heavily from the "Jaws" scenario, and it's nowhere near the quality of that film. But in spite of being derivative, it never quite lapses into total "bad ripoff" territory, thanks mostly to competent performances.

I can't say much for the script and the dialogue, and the special effects are unremarkable (We never see the giant squid in its entirety). But in the spirit of good bad movies, it kept me watching when I was in the mood for something lightweight and silly.

There is a subplot concerning the resentment between the white and the native American fishermen, who blame each other for over-fishing the waters. But when they realize that the fish are being devoured by the monster, they work together to kill it.

Unfortunately, the climactic battle with the creature takes place at night, so it's hard to see much detail.

Better than the average B monster movie, but not by much.

Sweet Angel Mine (1996)

Has a cheesy 70's feel

[4/10 · 6 January 2022]

Bizarre, to be sure. Has a look and feel like a low budget 70's exploitation flick.

The acting is actually pretty good, and so is the the cinematography.

The "surprise" is pretty easy to predict.

It's nice to see the great British actress Anna Massey. She deserves to be in better films. Remember her in Hitchcock's "Frenzy?"

Content-wise, this is really a dark and perverse film. No kids allowed.

The Black Dahlia (2006)

Possibly DePalma's most boring movie

[3/10 · 10 November 2021]

Is spite of its glorious cinematography and really excellent period sets, costumes, this film is B-O-R-I-N-G. It just never gets off the ground. There are a couple of sensational scenes, which we expect from DePalma, but the script is confusing and way too complicated.

I have mixed feelings about DePalma's films in the first place, but at least some of his best works are engaging, if often distasteful. This one is just plain bad. What a shame.

The Assault (2017)

So bad, it might actually be instructive

[1/10 · 22 October 2021]

There's no doubt that actors sit around and laugh about the terrible films they've been in. They take the roles for money to buy a new boat, or just to keep themselves visible to audiences, or whatever.

Tom Sizemore has proven himself capable in major films like "Saving Private Ryan," "Pearl Harbor," and others. Here, he is slumming big time. I can imagine having a beer with Sizemore and talking about this movie. I'm sure he would readily admit that it's a total loser, and he ought to be ashamed of himself for being in it. "But the paycheck was good and the shooting schedule was short," he would say.

This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Not only was the script apparently written by a 12 year old, but there are actually glaring bloopers that the director didn't even bother to correct. The acting is wooden (Sizemore included). The cinematography is sloppy.

I can't believe I'm wasting so many words on this piece of garbage. But sometimes, watching, watching a terrible flick can be instructive. It's a good way to learn what not to do as a filmmaker.

There are "good" bad movies and just plain bad ones. This one is in the latter category.

Crazy (II) (2008)

At least they got the music right

[5/10 · 9 October 2021]

I remember hearing a Hank Garland CD years ago, with jazz drummer Joe Morello and other greats. I could not believe this was a Nashville guy.

A cliched and corny music biopic, "Crazy" doesn't have much to offer in terms of acting and direction. But whever was in charge of the music definitely got it right.

Hank Garland came to fame in 1950's Nashvile as a session guitarist for Roy Orbison, Patsy Cline, Eddy Arnold, and a host of other stars including Elvis Presley. But he was never happy being a sideman. And he became weary of simlistic country music and wanted to play jazz.

There's a great scene when Hank is in a club in Chicago, hearing the great Wes Montgomerey for the first time. He's transfixed.

Aside from the music, this is a typical Hollywood biopic, overdramatized and exaggerated. I have no idea how accurate it is, but I'm suspicious.

Waylon Payne is competent if not compelling as Garland.

It's not a great movie, but it's about an important musician who never got his due. Watch it for the music.

Above Ground (2017)

Amateurish

[2/10 · 29 June 2021]

Above Ground is an amateurish, clumsy film in the vein of Blood Simple----minus the intelligence. The characters are backwoods idiots, everything that can go wrong does, and nobody trusts anybody.

The dialogue, characterization, acting, and story are all substandard. Illogical events and plot holes are abundant.

But perversely, sometimes I'm in the mood for a brainless, bad movie. The critical side of me picks it apart disdainfully, but at least there's a story to follow, no matter how stupid.

Two stars, recommended for a "bad movie" experience.

Fracture (2007)

Pure Hollywood

[5/10 · 24 April 2021]

_Fracture_ contains all the requisite elements of a big budget Hollywood legal thriller: the young hot shot prosecuting lawyer (Ryan Gosling as Willy Beachum), the devious and evil defendant who shot his wife (Anthony Hopkins as Ted Crawford), and of course, the hot blonde babe lawyer with whom the young hot shot lawyer gets romantically involved (Rosamund Pike as Nikki Gardner). Pike's character is pretty much irrelevant to the story. It's just that every Hollywood thriller has to have a good looking blonde, right?

One twist is that Crawford confesses to the murder and insists on defending himself in court without a lawyer. The other twist is that the detective who took Crawford's confession was having an affair with Crawford's wife. This is not revealed until the trial, and Beachum is not ready for it. The judge threatens to declare a mistrial unless Beachum can find some new evidence.

That's about all you need to know. There's lots of "clever" dialogue, all of the cast members are magazine-model good looking, and Hopkins assumes his familiar Hannibal Lecter persona.

It's pure Hollywood braggadocio, with all of its requisite affectation, implausibility, and melodrama. There's even an establishing shot of the Hollywood sign at one point, just to remind us. But at least the tense interchanges between Hopkins and Gosling are fun to watch. And, of course, the suspense runs high as we root for Gosling's character.

As to the ending.....Well, it's a good one.

Paterson (2016)

A Profound Film

[10/10 · 13 April 2021]

This film stuck in my mind for days after watching it. It's magical. It seems to be plot-less, but it actually has a plot. It's just a different plot concept from the usual Hollywood nonsense.

The ending of this film brought tears to my eyes. It's no big life or death tragedy, but its impact is profound.

The lesson of this film is something we already know but have probably forgotten: There is poetry and beauty everywhere, in the smallest things.

I plan on watching this film once every year.

Never Let Go (I) (2015)

Unoriginal and laughable

[2/10 · 20 March 2021]

A woman (the mistress of a married American politician who has had his baby) needs some vacation time while he's campaigning and figuring out how to tell his wife. She chooses a very restful place for her vacation: Morocco, where there are apparently kidnapers on every street corner. Her baby is stolen while she's on the beach, and she suddenly turns into Wonder Woman, leaping off of buildings, eluding the cops, and knocking our 4-5 armed people at a time with martial arts moves. Turns out she's some kind of U.S. special ops agent. If it sounds to you like a lame female version of "Taken", you would be right. If it sounds ridiculous to you, you would also be right. If it sounds to you like it might suck......You're right again! Now, you don't have to waste your time watching it! Two stars because the writers threw in some twists and turns, but they're not enough to salvage this mess.

The Sinner (2017–2021)

Exploitative trash

[2/10 · 8 March 2021]

It's fun to unravel a mystery, but in this show, there's one surprise after another, after another, after another, until you feel like you're getting jerked around. There's also quite a bit of gratuitous sex (and S & M sex, entirely for shock value and having nothing to do with the story), violence, aberrant human behavior, and in the first season, the old stereotypical routine of evangelical Christians being loonies who torture their kids in the name of God. It's all very dark and morose. I almost turned it off a couple of times, but as a mystery buff, I couldn't resist hanging in there. I'm sorry I did. The depravity just escalates in every episode. I've always been a noir fan, but good noir has a facetious thing to it: You know it's not really serious. This show takes itself very seriously, and it's just simply depressing. It's also stupid---and revolting, actually. If anybody thinks this is entertainment, I seriously question their taste.

The Trial (2010)

Deadly boring

[2/10 · 23 February 2021]

This is a grade B Made-for-TV movie with grade B acting, dialogue, and screenplay. I wish I could say something positive about it, because it seems well-intentioned, but I can't. Matthew Modine is totally bland, although he admittedly doesn't have much to work with. The courtroom scenes are dry and tedious. Not a good thing, when 80 percent of the movie takes place in court. Two stars for Robert Forster as the investigator for the defense. He doesn't have much to work with, either, but he has a good screen presence and he's actually the most believable character.

Rubber (2010)

Dadaism meets Reno 911

[8/10 · 31 January 2021]

I disagree with the critics who suggest that this is a "one idea" movie that would have worked better as a short. I loved every minute of it. How could you not love a movie about a homicidal automobile tire? And incompetent cops who invoke Reno 911? The tire really has personality (He's listed as "Robert" in the final credits--which, unlike most final credits, are worth watching). The is cinematic absurdism at its finest. I will definitely watch it again.

Variety (1983)

Interminably dreary

[3/10 · 21 January 2021]

I understand the feminist perspective in this film, but since it's virtually plotless and entirely too long, it ends up being a snooze fest. Scenes in which nothing happens go on for five minutes or longer. Some of the camera work is good, and it's interesting to see the old trashy Times Square of the 80's. But if this is supposed to be a message film, it's too static and boring to make the audience receptive.

Numb (I) (2015)

You can't fix stupid

[2/10 · 16 January 2021]

Is it just me, or has there been an abundance of "frozen wilderness" movies in recent years? I'm getting tired of watching people get frostbite and hypothermia. The title of this movie should have been _Numbskulls_. If the love of money is the root of all evil, here, it's the root of all stupidity. Two hapless couples go traipsing through the frozen Canadian wilderness to cop a stash of buried gold. They take no survival gear, no supplies, no nothing. They forget that four people can't carry $4 million in gold coins. Needless to say, people die and / or freeze to death. They could have dressed warmer and rented some snowmobiles and done this, no problem......But then,, of course, there would be no movie. Don't waste your time on this insipid crap.

Night of the Running Man (1995)

If you're in the mood for some cinematic slumming......

[3/10 · 26 December 2020]

Some movies are bad, but they know they're bad. That pretty much sums up Night of the Running Man. There is no pretense of being anything more than B movie schlock. The plot is ridiculously simplistic, the characters are cartoonish, and the sex and violence fulfill the sleaze quotient. The dialogue and acting are mediocre, although Scott Glenn fares decently well as the villainous hit man. Sometimes you want to put your brain in neutral and just passively watch some schlock, but the schlock has to at least be entertaining. This one should do the trick.

Solitary (II) (2011)

OK story, good lead performance

[5/10 · 23 December 2020]

Solitary looks like another damsel-in-distress Lifetime TV movie, but it has some decent tricks up its sleeve. The mystery is enough to keep you interested. The apparent resolution is cliched, but it turns out to be a red herring, and the actual reveal at the end is...well, not very original, but I bought it anyway. Maybe I was just in a charitable mood. Amber Jaeger's performance is really what knits things together. I'd like to see her in some other films with better scripts. Entertaining, and worth a watch if you're not feeling too critical.

Secret Lives (2005 TV Movie)

Really bad

[1/10 · 12 December 2020]

Sometimes I feel like slumming, and I watch one of these Lifetime-type movies just out of curiosity. This one has a decent premise, but it rates a 10 on the implausibility meter. This is one of those films in which you just sit there and count the absurdities, shaking your head in disbelief that a screenwriter was actually serious about this. Or maybe he wasn't....? A women discovers that her husband, thought to be killed in a fire 10 years ago, has recently turned up dead in an adjacent state. Apparently, he faked his death and has been living off of money he embezzled from his company. The cops get involved. The woman goes to the crime scene in the woods where her husband's body was discovered. She immediately finds her husband's pendant on the ground. The cops have had dozens of crime scene techs all over this spot, and they missed it? She goes to his house, wanting to look for clues. The cop at the house says he can't let her disturb anything in a death investigation. She begs him to let her in, so he shrugs and says OK. She opens drawers, riffles through letters and papers....Give me a break. No cop on earth would allow this. She hacks into her husband's bank account online and finds that he withdrew half the money he embezzled, $5 million. So the guy embezzles money and puts it in a bank account? Did a 10 year old write this? She gets romantically involved with the insurance investigator who is involved in the case. She does nothing to verify who he is. You can guess the rest. I just expended a lot of words on a grade Z film that is so stupid, it will insult your intelligence. Perhaps I can save some viewers from wasting their time. You're welcome!