...but it's kind of silly and out of place here.
An entertaining film in pink neon madness.
Reviews
4 Reviews
Gallowwalkers
(2012)
Trying to be a cool graphic novel style, but failing to be comprehensive film.
10 August 2013
It seemed like they weren't really sure what it was.
Some things that may make you LOL in this dire bore-fest:
I laughed so hard when that well bucket was just sat on ground level, and when he dropped it back in the well, it sounded like it fell on to some metal on the ground! Really, really atrocious filming in that scene. Were they all high or something when making this?
The 'bad' guy doing a 'muhahahahaaa' on the gallows scene was just hilarious.
And what was with that cave thing about, holy crap! Was the entire scene just removed?
The actors delivered the tired script straight and awkwardly like some kind of cheap SciFi channel TV movie. They all appeared somewhat self aware and miserable. Cringe making at times, Snipes does his best not to laugh in places it feels, although he's good at the Blade poses as usual.
And don't me started on the music, trying to be all Spaghetti Western from the 1960's, but cheesing it up really badly in places. But to be honest the music was the best thing about the film! Which says a lot.
It has decent gore effects, surprisingly, and I guess it was memorable for some reason, perhaps all the bad wigs and head pieces made it memorable. Not in a good way though.
I honestly felt sorry for the editor of this, but it got into such a mess anyway. I suspect too many hands (guys in suits) got involved in the final cut.
Sorry it's not a proper review like review, but it really wasn't worth caring for. Avoid. Unless, no, just avoid.
Some things that may make you LOL in this dire bore-fest:
I laughed so hard when that well bucket was just sat on ground level, and when he dropped it back in the well, it sounded like it fell on to some metal on the ground! Really, really atrocious filming in that scene. Were they all high or something when making this?
The 'bad' guy doing a 'muhahahahaaa' on the gallows scene was just hilarious.
And what was with that cave thing about, holy crap! Was the entire scene just removed?
The actors delivered the tired script straight and awkwardly like some kind of cheap SciFi channel TV movie. They all appeared somewhat self aware and miserable. Cringe making at times, Snipes does his best not to laugh in places it feels, although he's good at the Blade poses as usual.
And don't me started on the music, trying to be all Spaghetti Western from the 1960's, but cheesing it up really badly in places. But to be honest the music was the best thing about the film! Which says a lot.
It has decent gore effects, surprisingly, and I guess it was memorable for some reason, perhaps all the bad wigs and head pieces made it memorable. Not in a good way though.
I honestly felt sorry for the editor of this, but it got into such a mess anyway. I suspect too many hands (guys in suits) got involved in the final cut.
Sorry it's not a proper review like review, but it really wasn't worth caring for. Avoid. Unless, no, just avoid.
Midnight Chronicles
(2009)
No plot development.
28 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this on the the TV 'on demand' from Virgin-Media. I only watched from seeing the high votes on here (silly me). The VFX, sets, and most costumes were really good! They shined away as the background to terrible dialogue, bored actors, and some very dodgy camera work. It was also very boring, it tried to keep you interested by promising a move in the plot, but no. Even the so called witty/funny guy struggles through fun-less lines. They all just read it like they were in some soulless place, and embarrassing soulless place. Every time something builds up to a thickened plot possibility, it skips to another thread, and even introduces pointless new characters all along the way. ...Until right at the end, when nothing happens and it just stops! Daily TV soaps are better written than this. Too many writers with too few good ideas perhaps?
I gave it 2/10 (which means to me 10/10 for FX guys, and 0 for everything else)...Sorry, but I'll have my money back thanks.
Funny bit in film: There's an Elf-man type that sits about a lot in a cave frowning, being completely useless, and at one point there's a drunk that's shouting and giving the posse away to the towns people, and the Elf just stands there watching, then someone asks to borrow his bow, and the Elf just hands it over without much persuading then runs away, why the guy doesn't follow them, I don't know. Then guy falls down a well with a great splashing sound, where we see him at the bottom of the DRY well, with no water around at all!
I gave it 2/10 (which means to me 10/10 for FX guys, and 0 for everything else)...Sorry, but I'll have my money back thanks.
Funny bit in film: There's an Elf-man type that sits about a lot in a cave frowning, being completely useless, and at one point there's a drunk that's shouting and giving the posse away to the towns people, and the Elf just stands there watching, then someone asks to borrow his bow, and the Elf just hands it over without much persuading then runs away, why the guy doesn't follow them, I don't know. Then guy falls down a well with a great splashing sound, where we see him at the bottom of the DRY well, with no water around at all!
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