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Reviews
Boxcar Bertha (1972)
Stupid from beginning to end
David Carradine shows off his lack of depth as an actor.
Hollywood would have been better off if Barbara Hershey had never been discovered.
Martin Scorsese shows off his penchant for violence without any reason whatsoever.
If you want to see an inane film, in which bad guys wreak havoc and men who chase them are completely inept, this is the film for you. No one could believe this garbage. The beginning is silly and the ending is just stupid.
The crooks escaped from a chain gang, which didn't have any chains(???), and then the crooks are captured and put on a chain gang again(???). Of course, the crook(David Carradine) escapes again so of course, there can be a big shoot-'em-up at the end. This summary does not do justice. The plot is predictable and is unrealistic.
The other problem I had with this film was that the characters don't care what damage they do to other people's lives. In fact, they enjoy hurting whoever they can. Furthermore, Boxcar Bertha is never brought to justice. The film says that it is okay to kill and steal as long as you get away with it.
All of the actors are inept. Scorsese didn't add anything with his directing even if the plot is vapid. Avoid this waste of time and watch Raging Bull for a period piece. This is a complete disappointment.
The Nightcomers (1971)
Another Poor Effort from Marlon Brando
Originally I would have given this film a 3 out of 10 but I read the reviews and I disagree with all of them so I gave it a one. First of all, Marlon Brando has no range. If he is not mumbling, he is overextending himself. Brando is the most overrated actor in history. After Mutiny on the Bounty, he lost his status in Hollywood. He regained it with the Godfather. This was made before the Godfather.
If you only saw On the Waterfront, A Streetcar Named Desire or the Godfather, you would think that he was a great actor. I saw those films first and wanted to see more of his movies. However, each movie of his reveals more flaws than any perceived greatness.
In this film, the Nightcomers, Brando is either overacting or not acting at all. He stands around and broods as the camera pans. I don't care about Quint, who is a bum but stays employed because the new guardian of the children doesn't care. Guess what? Neither do I. The children and the rest of the supporting cast are plastic toys used poorly by Michael Winner, the director. A great actor could have made something of this script and a great director could have made something of this pathetic actor. Neither showed up for the shoot. There is good material for a film but everyone handles their roles so poorly that the film rambles on without a point. It is extremely boring.
Whether or not it was a prequel or not does not matter at all. Brando is saying, "I'm Brando doing Brando acting and you're going to like it because I'm Brando, d***it." I keep thinking of Eddie Murphy as Gumby when I watch Brando.
My advice: Watch a Bogart film. Bogart is enjoyable to watch even if the film is awful. Or watch the Godfather, On the Waterfront or A Streetcar Named Desire. Every other film of Brando's irritated me to no end.
The 'Maggie' (1954)
Weak script, weak characters, jokes fall flat
It is hard for me to judge this movie because I enjoy old movies. This type of movie was done better in the 20's and 30's when all sort of contraptions were used for transportation. The humor falls flat for me because it is based on xenophobia. I have seen too many movies that have achieved much better results with that sort of humor. But that is just the surface of its problems.
The real reason that I marked the movie so low is that I did not find the characters charming or the comedy gentle. None of the actors seem to be able to handle their roles with subtlety nor could the writer nor could the director. The destruction of the pier is supposed to be funny but I found it annoying. I found the captain very annoying from beginning to end.
Where's the humor? A man tries to surprise his wife with a gift and the captain thwarts this effort. Should I laugh because the man fooled is rich? Should I laugh because Pusey was arrested instead of the real poachers? The humor is neither subtle nor original nor well done.
I wanted to like this film but I didn't laugh once during it. I didn't find the characters interesting so I gave it two stars because the only thing I enjoyed was seeing Scotland in the 1950s. That's it. I kept thinking that it could have been an average movie if the writer or director added depth to their characters instead of plastering the screen with superficiality.
Heavens Above! (1963)
Cliché after Cliché, Nothing original
I liked Peter Sellers in his well-known films and I started to watch the harder-to-find movies in his repertoire. I am starting to hate every movie he was in. His satire falls flat throughout his movies and he makes irrelevant points about society. Many people blame the script but he chose to do the movie with this inept script. Humor is lacking throughout this movie and his many other films.
First of all, the "satire" in this movie is directed at the stereotypical stuffed-shirts but this movie then builds up the stereotypical low-lifes as heroes. It is a cliché through and through and it is poorly done. The movie was plodding along and bored me to no end.
I don't understand why so many people think that any satire of Peter Sellers is funny. There is nothing interesting in this movie and every joke falls flat because of bad timing, bad acting or whatever reason.
For example, a man, who is on the dole and refuses to work, loses his home but the vicar allows them to live in the vicarage, where his large family spreads junk around it and continues to steal and cause trouble just like before they lost their other home. This family doesn't need to learn anything but the stuffed-shirts can't do anything right. This type of humor is one-sided at its best and superficial at its worst.
Chaos (2001)
Recycled plot, plastic characters
Everything about this film is plastic. The style is stale. The writing is pathetic. I am writing this after I heard Malika tell her life story. Most of the dialogue is inept and the plot is completely inane and Rachida plays a prostitute worse than Julia Roberts. There is nothing unique or even interesting in this film. The characters are either great and courageous (female) or terrible and asinine(male). There is no character development and everything is staged. I don't care about anyone in this film because they act like actors or actresses badly playing their parts. I don't believe anyone in this film. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. None of these actresses have the skills to pull off a film like this.
The film drove me to web surf. The fight scenes are so unbelievable. Finally the conclusion that took forever to arrive. What a load of garbage! No surprises, a lot of preaching, garbage through and through.