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The Prince (2021)
Should never have been based on real people
The basic idea here could have worked, albeit with a lot of tweaking. Firstly, the monarchy should have been completely fictional. Secondly, it could have predominantly followed the servants as they went about their daily lives and routines. The silly monarchs could have been more background characters.
That this makes fun of real children is kind of gross. The children didn't ask to be born into royalty and this just feels like the creators were punching down at targets that couldn't defend themselves even if they wanted. If they were fictional children then that'd at least be something, but they didn't even want to do that. I can only imagine that this show came about as a reaction to the Royals freaking out about The Crown. This is one idea that should have stayed in the drawing stage until it was ready, if ever. On top of this taking swings at real children, it's not even that funny.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
It's fine, but still lacks the soul of the original two films
If Ghostbuster 2016's cardinal sin was that it tried too hard to be separate from the original movies, then the 2021's is that it tried too hard to remind you of them.
South Park has an ongoing joke about the 'Member Berries, where they keep saying things like "'Member Chewbacca?". They could probably have a field day with this film, since a lot of this was just the crew going "'Member Ecto1? Member Slimer?" and so on. While the film is fine, I wish that they had spent more time working on the film's humor and characters.
Things are brought up and dropped kind of quickly. There's this whole plot line about how Ivo Shandor and the Gozer temple that's boiled down into just a couple of lines in the plot. The writers likely figure that we, the viewers, would remember this from the original movie and just roll from there. We do, but I'd have loved to have learned more about it. There was just so much that they could have done with this, like perhaps have some of the townspeople complicit in hiding the temple and keeping the land free. Surely Shandor wasn't the only cult member or he could have had some descendants that were meant to keep things rolling. I mean, how cool could it have been if Lucky's father was an offspring and meant to keep things going, only for him to become horrified when things went so bad and his daughter was taken?
The loss of Harold Ramis was also sorely felt here and honestly, I kind of felt that this would have been better if they'd not had the people coming in relatives. It doesn't really fit the character, to have him abandon the people he loves. For that matter, it's disappointing to see that Janine wasn't the mother of his children - some random, never introduced person was. Just have them be a random down on her luck mother with an incredibly intelligent daughter and a plucky son. The family angle here just rings a bit empty. OR have it be that Ray and Egon were both out working in the farmhouse and the daughter came out because she was informed of his death and has been evicted. That could have introduced some great possibilities, as well as comedic ones because the family has to get used to Ray's weirdness. Have them be the Winstons in this scenario.
That said, there are some things that work. Everyone tries their hardest and what we do get here is decent. I just feel like this could have been so much better and just didn't live up to its full potential. I'll still see a next film, so hopefully this next one will spend more time developing its story and characters rather than relying so heavily on nostalgia.
Funhouse (2019)
Good potential, squandered
I was incredibly disappointed by this film. Going into this I knew that it wasn't going to be on the level of the classics, but I figured that as long as it could give me a good time I'd be happy. I feel that the movie is bogged down by primarily two things:
The cast is too large. A bigger cast makes for more cannon fodder for imaginative kills, but it also means that the writers have to make up reasons for them to be there and so on. This unfortunately resulted in too many of the characters being forgettable. You've got some standouts such as the fantastic bad guy, but then there are just as many who I forgot about until their deaths came about. I mean, after watching the film I realized that I couldn't pick out all of the 8 contestants out on the IMDb cast list. It would have been better to have a smaller cast and focus on building up their personalities and the tension.
The film tries to hard to Impart A Message. I put that into capital letters because the film kind of brow beats us with this at times, particularly towards the end. I get what they were trying to do, but it just fell flat. I think it would have been better if they'd focused on making the storyline more entertaining and then surprised the viewers with character depth that came along as the film progressed. I also hate saying it, but as great as the opening was, I think that it would have been better to leave that out and jump directly into the stars at the house since it made the next few scenes really uninteresting. Like maybe have them arrive at what they think will be the house, only to then get knocked out and placed at the real location. Or just use a regular house and have it have fantastic security, like a moat filled with acid.
This just had so much potential and it just didn't live up to it. Maybe if it had been shorter or if the situation had been a little different, it could have been better. I definitely think it would have been improved by not focusing so heavily on Skarsgard's character. He's great, but focusing on him meant that the other characters didn't get as well fleshed out as they could have been. I'm going to go ahead and tag this as having spoilers even though I don't think that this does have any. Some of the things brush close enough that I don't want it to get removed if some were to be considered spoilers.
Sheitan (2006)
Way past weird
I'm not saying that French films are all weird, but let's be honest. They do have a reputation for being strange and this movie lives up to that expectation. The basic gist of this is that a group of fairly unlikeable people go out into the country to party at this strange sexy girl's house. Nothing good ever comes out of accepting an invitation to go to the remote countryside, especially when you don't know the person well to begin with. From there it's a weird slurry of overly sexualized youths, incest, and other weirdness. Is it supernatural? Dunno, maybe. Maybe not. Either way the guy who played Joseph is the real gem of this film, as he also plays his sister, leading up to a really weird and strangely bucolic family scene at the end. It likely wouldn't have been half the film it could have been otherwise.
Oh, fair warning, there are some scenes here that will squick many viewers out, such as a girl trying to molest a dog. She's stopped, but still. Viewer discretion is advised.
Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)
Bland rehash of old jokes
I used to love Kevin Smith's work. Then around Clerks 2 I just sort of fell out of the fandom. This reminds me why.
Too much of the movie's humor relies on you remembering his other, better work, rather than really taking advantage of the satirical possibilities of reboots and fan culture. I mean, how fun would it have been for the movie to focus on Jay and Silent Bob discovering and traveling to the film convention in order to generally take advantage of the fandom? Then while they're there, he has to deal with the idea of the toxic fandom as well as cancel culture because some people think that they're too offensive nowadays. Meanwhile they have to deal with the changes that tend to come with reboots, some of which make sense and others that don't. Not to mention changes that aren't actually changes... yet the studio pretends that they are.
The movie isn't unwatchable, but it's just disappointing since it doesn't take advantage of the possibilities while also sanitizing everything.
Deadcon (2019)
A promising premise that is quickly laid to rest by awful everything
The film's central premise had promise. Sure, there have been many movies about monsters and technology in the past, but I can't think of many that would take place during a convention aimed at technology. This premise whispered of so much that could be done with it. It's just a shame that this was quickly tossed to the wayside in order to highlight some fairly bland and boring main characters.
How bland and boring are these characters? So much so that I honestly couldn't remember any of the characters' names for most of the movie. It also didn't help that they had two actresses that strongly resembled each other, enough so that this paired with the blandness of their characters and acting made me initially think that they were the same person. It didn't help that their rooms were right next to one another. It looks like the producers tried to find people with social media followings, which I think was one of their first mistakes - they should have instead focused on actors who not only fit the roles better but also had chemistry with one another. Sure the actors are all nice looking, but they just felt like they sleepwalked through their parts. Granted, I think that they could only do so much with what they were given however.
It also doesn't help that it looked like the movie was trying to channel Blair Witch towards the end, but while showing what is going to be attacking the cameraman, a movie that for all its criticism did some things right and had some decent scenes. This is another mistake - don't reference better films in your movie.
There's no real resolution to this movie, to be honest, as nothing is really explained. I don't think that this is really necessary for a horror movie, however the film's plot felt like it was building towards something that never actually happened. This left the movie with a huge lack of a payoff. By the film's end I was pretty irritated and not really expecting anything, but the ending was the equivalent of tap water dripping from a faucet after turning off the water.
I think that all of this would have worked wonderfully as a short film, actors and all. There's a lot going on here that is honestly pretty useless to the film, such as the relationship drama and the tepid back and forth while they highlight this or that. They could've easily compacted this to a 10 minute video and been all the more effective for doing so.
The Banana Splits Movie (2019)
Stupid, but stupid fun
Not the greatest film, but still a great beer and popcorn type of flick.
Eli (2019)
Decent scares, wish the conclusion was more built up (some spoilers)
Eli is a fair to middling horror flick that landed on Netflix during October. It was purportedly bounced around before the streaming giant was chosen, as the film company didn't really know what to do with it. After finishing the film I can honestly see why they were so uncertain.
The film has some good scares and some nice jump scares, although I think they rely on them a bit too much for their own good. It's just that this movie can't really determine what it wants to be at times. Does it want to be a psychological thriller? A haunted house story? A devil movie? The answer to this is ultimately all three, with the third one tacked on at the end.
The ultimate reveal that Eli is devil spawn and that the treatments were ultimately his parents and the doctor injecting him with holy water was a little out of left field, to be honest. I did wonder if there was a demon involved, however I was more expecting it to be Eli's gal pal Haley. Not that I was wrong about that necessarily. It's honestly a pretty interesting premise, that a child has been suffering all of his life because his parents were secretly slipping him holy water as medicine in order to keep him from becoming an antichrist-esque figure. I just wish that this was further explored a little more than it was, or at least the idea of the doctor being not exactly who she claimed to be investigated a little earlier.
It would have been interesting to see Eli try to figure out how to worm information out of her without revealing exactly what he knows. More exploration in general could have been good, particularly where he goes and discovers old toys or whatnot left behind by the past patients, which show signs that something is not quite right there. Maybe have Eli be slightly more trusting of the doctor so that her character could be built up more, which would make the payoff that much more heartwrenching when Eli comes into his own and butchers everyone other than his mother. There was an attempt at this with his father, but it fell a little flat since there wasn't really enough foreshadowing about this.
Even so, this was still a fun movie to watch and one that would make for some decent Halloween watch. A film doesn't have to be perfect or non-frustrating in order to be enjoyable enough to while away a couple of hours or so, after all. If you have Netflix and horror, I'd give it a shot.
Sideshow (2000)
Awful, but in a good way
I think that Sideshow has to be one of my favorite of the later Full Moon movies. Around the early 2000s or late 1990s Full Moon's movies started to go from fun B and Z grade romps to movies that just felt like they were churned out with the sole goal of milking viewers of their money.
The acting here is cheesy but the actors clearly put their hearts into their roles. The special effects are also good for the limited budget the movie obviously had. What really sold this movie for me was the absolutely awesome Phil Fondacaro playing the sinister leader of the titular sideshow. He runs through his lines with the type of glee that can only be had by someone who knows exactly what the audience wants in the given role and is all too willing to give them what they want. I could honestly watch just about any movie he's in, he's that good.
If I were to rate this by regular standards and not by "so bad it's good" standards, this would be a 2 or a 3. You can generally see what's coming from a mile away and the acting is subpar (other than Fondacaro) at best. However when looking at it for its sheer cheese factor, it's a 10 for me. I've rewatched this more than once since my first viewing.It's not for everyone, but it's fun for me to watch.
Joker (2019)
Awesome! (some spoilers)
I know that there has been a lot of hubbub about this film, where people are saying that it was misogynistic or that it's the "incel movie", but I have to say that if people say this after watching the movie... they clearly weren't paying attention.
If this film has any message, it's that the mental health system is severely flawed and that everyday life is geared towards the rich. It's understaffed and underfunded, resulting in people who really, REALLY want to seek out help (as in the case of Arthur at the beginning of the film) going with subpar or no help at all. Not to mention that the system in place ended up cutting public funding, which is an all too bitter reflection on what happens IRL to programs such as these. Then for the news to paint the three dead Wayne Enterprises guys as practically saints and for Wayne to effectively paint all of the city's poorer citizens as stupid, jealous, and violent clowns as a result, that just hammers home that the system is more in favor of the "have" than the "have nots". With all of that, it's no surprise that the citizens of Gotham rioted. They were treated like the garbage that littered their streets. The Joker was just a catalyst that really set the smoldering unrest ablaze and I honestly think that if it wasn't him, it would have been someone else. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and became an icon as a result. I have to say that I really do like how the Joker said that he wasn't a political person. When it comes to public aid and how people are treated, this shouldn't be treated as only a political thing. Yes, it can be political but it's fundamentally a moral issue - it's wrong to treat people as lesser and to cut funding that would benefit the less fortunate in order to make things easier for the fortunate and their pet projects. It's made painfully clear throughout the film that if Arthur had received any true human compassion beyond the caring yet distant compassion offered by his social worker or the manipulative and deluded compassion his mother gave him (if you can even call her behaviors that), his life may have gone in a different direction. Maybe not incredibly different, but still different.
Joaquin Phoenix did an excellent job as the Joker. It's kind of amazing to see how much he sunk into that role. He lost so much weight that it's really startling and helps to form a good suspension of disbelief. Hollywood uses so many of the same actors that many of them come across as "This Person playing themselves playing X character". I see Phoenix as one of those actors that, while recognizable, can fully lose themselves in a character and are more than just playing themselves playing someone.
I was really amazed at how quickly the film went by. Some of the moments were honestly painful to watch, as it's easy enough to feel sorry for Arthur at times. He's just so sad and broken that you can't help but wish that things would go a little better. I also loved the little nods to the various comic book series that featured the Joker, such as the Dr. Sally kiss - a scene taken from The Dark Knight Returns. It's subtle without demanding that the viewer know about the comics in the way that Batman vs. Superman did of its viewers. No viewer will feel like they had to study before going into the theater. Of note, however, is that apparently the director has stated that this isn't THE Joker, but rather a person that inspired him.
All in all, I think that this will be one of those films that will be studied in film classes, yet dismissed as a "violent nasty" by some in the same way that some critics are now. I can understand that some won't like this - no film will be universally liked, but I can't help but feel that by focusing on the violence they're really kind of missing the point of this movie.
Splatter (2009)
Beer and pretzels movie
I wasn't expecting anything from this other than a goofy and stupid film, and I wasn't disappointed. It's a silly gimmick movie but the cast and crew seem to have had a pretty good time making it and it shows.It's worth watching for the glorious Tony Todd alone, although Corey Feldman's mugging for the camera in zombie makeup was pretty entertaining as well.
It's definitely a film that should be watched with an intoxicating beverage or substance nearby and absolutely not taken seriously.
Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019)
Not as solid as its predecessors, but still a fun enough watch
It's difficult to not weigh this against its predecessors, which were far stronger than this film, as the film relatively liberally peppers clips from the prior two movies into the narrative. This does help people who haven't watched the other films in a while remember who is who, but it also tends to detract from the narrative at times as well as prevent the new characters from really coming into their own.
There are some decent enough scares in this film, although they do fall prey to the law of diminishing returns in that they're essentially some of the same things that we saw in the prior movies. There are some new story points that are OK enough, but I will admit that the ending is kind of anticlimactic in some ways. It's a decent enough ending but admittedly I liked the endings of the prior two films a bit better in some ways.
At the same time, I couldn't help but enjoy the movie. For all of its faults, it's still a fun ride and I'll likely still watch it again, either on its own or as part of a marathon watching of the trilogy. I keep waffling between 6-8 stars on this, so I'm going to stay at 7. It's neither the worst nor the best film I've ever seen, although I do think it's going to disappoint some Hell House LLC fans. Even so, I just can't hate this film and I think that this is going to be what many others will think as well.
Slasher (2016)
Nearly perfect, but getting better with each season!
I've been watching this on Netflix and I must say that I've become a real fan of this series. This has some growing pains as a show, as television shows can be difficult to plot even when it's an anthology, especially when it comes to horror since horror is difficult to do effectively sometimes. Here's my rundown of the seasons thus far:
The Executioner:
This was fun and while it was slow at times, it had really great characters and a nice storyline. I didn't really expect the killer to be who it was, which is one of the strongest points of this series as a whole. You don't expect it for the most part.
Guilty Party:
I didn't like this as much as the first season but this still was effectively done. I like the idea of the group being in isolation and the potential this has for scares. Not to mention that people returning to a former camp is really intriguing. The killer was a little surprising but the real gem here is the character interactions.
Solstice:
I have a bit more to say about this since I saw it more recently and it's fresher in my head. The story here was well done and for me was the best season so far. I absolutely loved the character of Kit (the murder victim that sets the show off) as he's really a kind of tragic character. He was generally fairly honest about who he was and in another city or group he may have had an entirely different ending. I also really loved that there was such a wide variety of characters here and that the show tried very hard to show why they acted the way they did, turning characters that would otherwise be seen as wholly unsympathetic into characters with surprising depth. They still do terrible things to themselves and one another, but ultimately they're very human. I have to say that other than Kit, the standout actor in this series was the one who portrayed Amber. She was fantastic and I really hope they bring her and some of the other actors back to the series for other characters.
As a whole this series is what I think we all hoped American Horror Story could be at times, focusing more on the horror instead of on the drama and soap opera story lines that AHS tends to let dominate. I'm definitely hoping that this show gets picked up for a fourth season!
It Chapter Two (2019)
Both good and bad
For anyone who is curious, this film does diverge quite a bit from the book and when it doesn't diverge, it liberally reinterprets. There are a lot of homages and plot points that will make some sense to people who are familiar with the book and/or miniseries, but may be confusing to those who aren't. (On a side note, ignore any reviews that state that you should have read the book before going into the film - the movie should be self-sufficient and shouldn't rely on the viewer having read the book, which would be poor storytelling.)
This second chapter to the IT story is a decent addition, however I will admit that it does fall a little flat when compared to Chapter 1. There are some great scenes and jokes here, however part of the film's major issue is that it takes a while for things to really resolve, to the point where this really feels like someone had planned for the second chapter to be two films instead of one because of how much they try to cram into this movie. There are plot elements that are fine, but just feel a bit superfluous, like they could've been removed and the timeline tightened a bit just so it is a little less of a slog, such as the focus on the little boy seen in trailers. To be honest, most of the child deaths in this film could be mentioned rather than actually shown in order to make the film run a little less long and the story a little tighter.
The story also feels like it shot itself in the foot a little with how much they changed in the first film. In the first movie Henry Bowers is pushed down a well, making it look unlikely that he would have survived - this in turn makes his appearance in chapter 2 a little harder to swallow, as it seems far more likely that he would have died or been crippled by the fall. (In the novel and miniseries he merely got lost.) There's no explanation for him emerging unscathed and while we could probably justify it via Pennywise, that just seems a little farfetched and it would've been a lot easier if the first film had just had him get lost as well.
That said, there are definitely things to like in this movie. The acting is fantastic and the cast is exceedingly well chosen. While sure, the movie feels overly long and the Bowers stuff could've been handled a bit better, it's still an enjoyable watch. The opening scene was also very well done, as it was really effective in unsettling the viewing audience with its human on human violence as much as it was with its Pennywise on human violence. I also liked the resolution at the end with the Losers and certain revelations that come to light, as that was a nice, yet unexpected touch. I have to admit that I did kind of like how they defeated IT - it's a huge change from the book and miniseries, but there was just something about it that was kind of fun even as it was kind of ridiculous.
Ultimately I think that this will likely be a movie more for the die-hards as its length and Stephen King references and nods will likely turn some of the casuals off from the film.
The Red House (1947)
Needs a feminist retelling
This film is something that's just aching to be made with a more feminist slant. This may sound silly, but hear me out:
There are really only three women of note in the film. There's Meg, who has lived under the thumb of adoptive father Pete all of her life, Tibby, the girlfriend of the man Meg loves, and Meg's adoptive mother Ellen - who has also lived under Pete's thumb. Each are interesting in their own way. Meg has been a proper daughter all of her life, however at the start of the film she chooses to sabotage Nath and Tibby's relationship by persuading Pete to hire him to her farm - and getting him to work during nights she deliberately knows that he was due to date Tibby. She also interferes with their dates by tagging along and interrupting during key romantic moments. Yet at the same time, even as she deliberately pursues someone that is seemingly happy in his relationship, it comes across as the first time that she's really ever done something for herself. She starts the film as a fairly mousy looking character but grows more beautiful as events progress. Meg deliberately disobeys Pete on several occasions and continues to rebel, even after this results in her breaking her leg. She wants what she wants and is willing to do what it takes to accomplish this. From the snippets I've read of the book on which the film is based, this is something that looks to be far more pronounced. She's the person that is also best suited for Nath, as she wants much of the same things that he does, namely to work on a farm and take on the role of a farmer's wife. Meg is also far more compatible with Nath, as their conversations tend to revolve around common interests - whereas with Tibby he seems to focus on her looks. By the film's end he has both in Meg - beauty and a kindred spirit.
Ellen also spends much of her time obeying Pete, but as the film progresses she begins to come into her own as well - with major repercussions. When she finally chooses to get rid of the symbol of the blood and destruction that has ruled Pete's life - and by extension hers and Meg's - she's met with destruction by way of Teller shooting her to keep her away from the red house.
Tibby is a character that was likely meant to be seen as a more catty, villainous person but over time has become somewhat more sympathetic - at least in my eyes. She loves Nath but is frustrated with Meg's interference, which Nath initially handwaves aside and later grows angry over. Tibby is intrigued by the thug Teller despite him forcing a kiss on her, but doesn't really take to him until Nath begins to ignore her in favor of Meg and the mysterious red house. To be honest, I really sympathized with her, as her jealousy and actions were seen as negative - despite the fact that many of the truly negative actions weren't brought about by her. Yes, Teller beats up Nath, but only after he throws a rock at Teller and after Nath has already begun to throw her over for Meg. (It could be said that she was lashing out due to her own hurt and anger, especially as she never actually tried to hurt Meg at all and humored the girl tagging along on her dates with Nath.) It's also after Tibby has dared to say that she wants a life outside of their country town and doesn't want to be a farmer's wife. This ambition wouldn't be seen as terrible nowadays and to be honest, the main thing that could be said for Tibby is that she had a penchant for taking up with the wrong men. She's incompatible with Nath because they want different things out of life and although Teller offers more excitement and wants to leave town, it's only because he murdered someone - of which Tibby was completely unaware. Unfortunately in the end the film implies that she has to suffer the negative consequences of Teller's actions simply because she happened to be in the car with him when he was caught. She's someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I'm not sure if this film could be modernized - I do think that it would lose a little something in the process, since part of what made the female characters' rebellions against their roles so much more poignant is the time in which this was set - the 1940s, a time when women were actively starting to buck against the trends of women being resigned to just fulfilling the roles of mother and wife, as well as only pursuing jobs and life goals that were seen as proper for women of the era. But I do think it should be re-made and the feminist themes explored more, as this is a good story and the characters are intriguing.
Chernobyl (2019)
True terror
I love horror movies, especially supernatural horror films. It's fun to be a little spooked, but they're not actually terrifying, if that makes sense.
This? This is absolutely terrifying.
While some of this is changed for story reasons, the main core of the story is still here, no pun intended. This is something that we absolutely cannot forget, as it's something that can happen again. It may not be exactly the same, but it can happen. The acting and plotting is very well done here and at times you don't know whether to gasp or weep at the knowledge that so many people lost their homes, health, and lives because of Chernobyl.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)
One of the best bad movies!
I discovered this through Rifftrax and this has to be one of my favorite goofy horror films now. This movie's camp is surpassed only by the love that clearly went into it. Sure, this isn't Exorcist or Nightmare on Elm Street, but this film has a charm of its own. What I think won me over was the big fight scene at the end between Triton and Bub. Him wrestling and fighting rubber-ish demon monsters reminds me heavily of the horror films of the 50s and 60s, where you would see people wrestling rubber octopi and people in monster costumes. There's definitely an Ed Wood quality to this film.
If you're leery, watch this with the Rifftrax. Just don't be surprised if you discover that you're just as much tickled by the movie itself as you are by the jokes.
Captain Marvel (2019)
Neither particularly good nor bad
I was incredibly excited to see this film, as many were after seeing the now infamous pager from the last Avengers movie. I just wish that this had received a better treatment.
I think that part of the issue here is that there's just so much going on in this movie and it's meant to serve as a turning point for the series. After Endgame comes the Skrull Wars, so they need a film to serve as a formal introduction to this. It just feels like they were trying too hard.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Not bad, but not the best
I was one of the people who were eagerly anticipating this film, to the point where my expectations were relatively high and I pre- ordered tickets for myself and my boyfriend. As our viewing date approached and the critical reception grew poorer and poorer, I started to grow worried that the film would be an unwatchable mess.
Luckily for me, the film wasn't that bad and I'd say that the movie's key flaws can be summed up as follows:
It had somewhat terrible pacing. The story was good, but it really needed to be tightened up here and there. The film clocks in at two and a half hours and my boyfriend was painfully aware of this length, as he kept shifting in his seat during the last hour. If a film is well done, you'll ignore the cardboard theater seats and the numbness growing in the lower half of your body.
The film tried too hard to appeal to both people who knew the source material and the ones who didn't. The film is peppered with various things that gave off the impression of prior films and story lines. For example, we're shown a destroyed Wayne Manor in the film... but no explanation as to why/how it was destroyed. I can only assume that it was related to the batsuit with "HAHA, joke's on you Batman" written on it, but we're never really given a good explanation about this. A person coming into the film with only knowledge of prior films would likely be confused, whereas fans of the comics would probably be able to tell me exactly what happened. It's not that this kept the plot from making sense, but it was kind of frustrating since there was this whole backstory that may never be fully revealed. On the flip side, the story also tried to target the newbies and as such people looking for in-jokes and references to the comics will likely get frustrated by the times where things are spelled out a little too much.
Still, there's a lot to like here. Gal Gadot is amazing as Wonder Woman and my theater actually applauded when she showed up in full WW regalia. There was some back story for her that was never fully revealed, but then I already know that there's going to be a WW movie and that it's going to explore her past, so this is OK.
The action scenes are OK and viewers can watch this without having seen Man of Steel, although they'll enjoy it more for having seen the prior film. Plus the prior film will prepare you for this one's slowness, since it's set up in a similar fashion.
Overall I recommend this. I probably wouldn't really say that you should see it in 3D and all, since so much of it is just talking, but I do think that it's worth seeing it in the theaters at least once, even if only as a matinée.
Dark Dungeons (2014)
Hilariously bad
If you go into this expecting a great film, you're going to be disappointed. This is based off of a Jack Chick pamphlet, so you know that it's not going to be serious business.
What makes this film is that everyone tries to play their roles as straight as possible. There's no Leslie Nielsen-esque romping or Jim Carey mugging for the camera. Calling this a parody isn't entirely accurate, however it's not entirely *inaccurate* either. The source material here is so absurdly ridiculous that there's no need to lampoon the fact that some religious groups are over the top ridiculous when it comes to "demonic" material because they do it for you. It's like petting a cat: you just put your hand down and it does all the work for you.
The end result is a film that can arguably be called "bad", but bad in all of the right ways. The acting is decent and the script, while ridiculous, is pretty hilarious. So far there are only two avenues for getting this film, either a DVD via Amazon or a direct purchase from the official website. It's absolutely worth purchasing at least via the website and it's a shame that it's not more well known than it it currently is.
Fear Clinic (2014)
Meh.
I was pretty disappointed by this film. It wasn't as bad as it could have been since there are some big stinkers out there, but it also could have been a lot better. If you're expecting closure from the web series, look elsewhere. This movie ignores anything that happened before and reinvents the story for a new audience. That isn't entirely bad since it gives the story a chance to reinvent itself, but the problem here is that what we're given doesn't really live up to expectations.
Englund does a pretty good job here and part of me really enjoyed seeing a more sympathetic Anders, but the lack of a cold, calculating Anders willing to achieve results by putting lives in jeopardy was what made the web series so much fun. He wasn't necessarily a sadist, but this posed a good question as to what would happen when things went south and the man in charge is already willing to put people in danger to forge new ground. In a way he was one of the web series's monsters.
The ending wasn't awful, but by the time the film ended I was already ready for the closing credits. There are some great special effects here and everyone tries really, really hard, but this just didn't work out and I can't help but think that this would have fared better as a web series rather than a film.
The Moleman of Belmont Avenue (2011)
Not bad for a starter film
If this had been a bigger budgeted film written by people that weren't new to the whole directing gig, I may have been harsher in my review. There are elements to this film that really could have been done better. The humor isn't bad and the plot is overall decent, but it really could have been tightened here and there to make a more slick performance. Many of the big name stars in this film are kind of underused- Englund is the best example of this and I really wanted him to factor into the movie more than he did. The somewhat romance between Marion and the bartender could probably have been tossed out- that didn't really do much for me as a whole and it's one of the bits that just felt a bit forced. There's also the problem that you can see much of the film coming, particularly the film's end revelation that there was more than one mole man.
That said, this film is a pretty fun schlock fest and very impressive for the directors' first feature length film. They dealt well with the budget issues as far as the mole man goes. The dark shooting was annoying, but it did explain why we never got a clear shot of the monster until the end. The directors do try to explain things for the most part, which I appreciated. It also doesn't hurt that the two main characters are at least somewhat likable, so they have that going for them.
I watched the film via Netflix and while I probably wouldn't buy this, I am planning to watch this again with my friends later on while drinking a few beers. I'd definitely recommend this to anyone wanting a good goofy movie- if you want anything serious or scary, then this isn't the film for you. The horror aspect of this isn't the main gist of the film and this is better appreciated by people who like schlocky 80s/90s horror films.
Lord of Tears (2013)
Pretty awesome
I don't think that any aspiring director could hope for a stronger debut film than this. There are some issues with this film as a whole that could have been solved with a little editing, but this was fairly entertaining as a whole.
The strongest issue I had with this film were two overly long scenes where Evie danced. These two scenes, which were deliberately done to parallel her two states in the movie, started off fine enough and if they were only about 20-30 seconds in length, would have been more effective. The problem is that drawing them out to a few minutes just sort of made them grate on my friends and I. Any enchantment, suspense, or fear they would have evoked dissipated fairly quickly and they became more of an annoyance than anything else. This is especially true for the second dance, as what was initially a pretty scary scene became sort of a joke that made everyone roll their eyes. We were all in agreement that these two scenes really detracted from the film as a whole and shortening or just outright removing them might have helped push the film along. They kind of took Evie from being this horrific creature that would be capable of killing James and further shattering his heart and mind to being a creature who was just sort of annoying and harmless for the most part. Granted, she was never really supposed to be anything other than the impetus for the final twist, but it just took away from the film as a whole.
These didn't destroy my liking for the film overall, and if you're into slow atmospheric films then you'll definitely need to watch this one. It's still incredibly strong and much better than a lot of the other stuff currently out on the market.
Devil's Due (2014)
Utter dreck
Normally, I'm not one of those people. You know the type: the people who make comments throughout the film and are generally loud at times where they shouldn't be loud. It's just that this film is so incredibly awful that it brings the worst out of its viewers.
My best friend and I were really looking forward to being scared. She's a fan of the Paranormal Activity series and I love slow, atmospheric horror movies where the focus is more on the characters than on throwing a bucket of blood on the screen. In other words, we were both the target audience for a film like this.
This film was just awful. The scares weren't very scary, not even when they were really supposed to be. There were multiple scenes where we were all supposed to be watching the screen pensive and quiet, yet the ENTIRE audience was laughing. I think that the turning point came where, at a baby shower, Sam received a small knife that initially looked like a decorative silver rattle of some sort. That's when I crossed the line and went to the dark side. Laughing, I turned to my bestie and said "Baby's first shiv!" I immediately got a thumbs up from the row in front of me. After that point all of the audience started cracking jokes and laughing even louder at the incredibly un-funny scenes. There were only 10 of us in the audience, so I probably wouldn't have acted like that if it were more full, but this was a very bad movie and we all knew it.
I think that part of the problem was that the found footage angle was so incredibly forced. If they'd dropped that entirely and focused on the story and scares, this would have been a lot better. I think that they focused on the FF angle mostly because of the directors' previous success with V/H/S. Because the film was so keen on trying to force the FF angle, everything was pretty dull and the FF aspect really felt superfluous.
The worst part is that at its core, this had the potential to be very, very good. It's just that the movie tried too hard to cash in on the directors' previous success in the FF genre and bank on people holding fond memories of other similar films that are out there. There's nothing wrong with doing either of those things, but when you try to force it and it doesn't work, that's when you end up with something as awful as Devil's Due. That's the biggest crying shame: this could have been so much better if the directors and film company had tried to do something more original rather than imitate previously successes.