boedicia50 Reviews

Civil War (2024)

Disappointing to say the least

[3/10 · 27 May 2024]

The name of this film is misleading. It might be set during a civil war but it is hardly a story about a civil war.

The first half is glacial as the journalists take their sweet time to have a drive through the countryside. They go from one little set piece to another in some of the most unrealistic "war" footage ever seen.

After a completely stupid and pointless interaction with a couple of other journalists where one dives through the window of their speeding car and the young rookie journo thrilled with the idea does the same thing you wonder who thought this was a good idea.

The sequence with Jesse Plemons that follows is the best, it is downhill all the way after that.

War journalists may be necessary but it is doubtful if soldiers really want to have them basically become part of their squad and have to haul them along and tell them where to stand.

The last section in the Whitehouse is just laughable.

Avoid.

Breathe (I) (2024)

Very poor indeed

[2/10 · 20 May 2024]

Some decent actors in this, but they are given so little to work with and such poor script that they probably regretted it.

Pretty standard sort of premise, few people left in a post-apocalyptic world (New York natch) this time because of no oxygen.

It all happened very fast apparently.

Anyway, Pa, Ma and 16 year old precocious daughter are holed up in their 02 tight lair with probably the most stupid and annoying computer system ever portrayed in a movie.

It seemed like every 5 minutes it was shouting at them that something was compromised WARNING WARNING someone would go and fiddle with a cable and 2 seconds later OXYGEN LEVELS NORMAL.

How did anyone think this was a good idea?

It stumbles towards an ending, thankfully only 90 minutes, 70 of which was the security system blaring WARNING SOMETHING COMPROMISED.

Dire.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Visual feast

[8/10 · 8 April 2024]

Many 10/10 reviews here gushing that it's the best film they have ever seen - I certainly wouldn't say that.

It is a visual treat, gorgeous production values and the long running time seems to pass swiftly although it is not at all a fast-paced movie.

A long time since I read the books, I didn't re-read them before these new films came out so cannot say if the new movies closely follow the books.

If they do or don't, Villeneuve has made a tremendous adaptation of them and maybe now we can forget the sight of Sting posturing in the steam.

My only gripe is one that I often have with Hollywood films in that occasionally logic seems to take a back step.

Harkonnens, Fremen and Sardaukar have high energy beam weapons, both rifles and heavy. So why do they have get the swords out and have a good old fashioned medieval bash at each other with them. Is it tradition ? Fair play ? More fun ?

Oh and several of the cast are very underutilised. 2 points off for those 2 reasons.

The Gentlemen (2024)

Top entertainment

[9/10 · 25 March 2024]

Best show I have watched in ages. Stylish, fun, witty - all the hallmarks of a Guy Ritchie production.

Best thing he has done in a long time. Great cast with some nice cameos, flowing script, good plot-lines.

The film was excellent too, but the longer TV format allows for some great character development and convoluted plot lines.

I particularly liked the aristo with the penchant for the artistic works of a certain A. Hitler.

When so many shows nowadays are mediocre at best, The Gentlemen stands out head and shoulders above the crowd as a first-class, superbly made show, you won't be disappointed with this one.

Road House (2024)

Meh

[4/10 · 24 March 2024]

I was looking forward to this, fooled once again by a trailer showing all the best bits.

The best bits of course are where Dalton the messed up ex UFC fighter now hired to be a bouncer at the Road House is tangling with dim thugs and snapping their fingers.

The rest of it is just a mish mash of cliches, odd ideas (The guy who wants the Road House gone getting a shave in choppy seas with a cut throat razor; Dalton blowing up the boat he and his girlfriend are on) and some mediocre music from bands in the Road House.

Conor McGregor obviously had a blast, but he looks like he forgot leg day and has a painful case of piles.

OK if you have nothing else to watch.

Devil's Men (2023)

Appalling

[1/10 · 22 March 2024]

Why on earth try to make a movie about WW2 on a budget of $10.99 ? I mean kudos for a having the cojones to actually atempt it, but surely even just the pre-production stage should have warned them this was going to be a lemon.

Terrible acting, probably the most wooden acting I have ever seen in a film.

"Action scenes" that aren't.

Boring scenes of the family back home gathered around the kitchen table (all on same side to save having to move the camera) reading out letters from their son in Italy.

The flaws and mistakes in this film are just too long to list. Avoid at all costs and watch Masters of the Air instead.

Dig! (2004)

Well made if disjointed documentary

[7/10 · 23 November 2023]

I watched this documentary after seeing it mentioned in a discussion on The Brian Jonestown Massacre's gig in Melbourne the other day.

It ended after 6 songs, a fight on the stage and the safety curtain coming down. Watch this film people said and it will explain everything.

It seems that this is typical behaviour at a BJM gig - not always, but seemingly dependent on how much booze/drugs the lead singer Anton Newcombe has ingested beforehand.

After watching this documentary you wonder how any of the band stuck around for as long as they did - most didn't, there have been many changes to their line up over the years.

I had heard of both the bands in this film BJM and the Dandy Warhols, but I recognised none of the BJM songs and 3 or 4 of the Dandy Warhols ones.

The simple explanation for the success of the Dandy Warhols and the lack of it for BJM is summed up at the end by Peter Holstrom of the Dandy Warhols in that Anton Newcombe just didn't want a career in music. The Warhols grew up and were disciplined.

The Creator (2023)

Great to look at, dreadful script

[5/10 · 16 November 2023]

High production values, great use of tech and design. Pretty good acting from all involved. But oh dear oh dear what a truly awful script.

The plot is full of more holes than a Swiss cheese factory. Real groaners and they took away from immersion.

The film could certainly have lost 20 minutes of running time without any loss and would have been tighter for it.

Eclectic references to many other films from Apocalypse Now to Blade Runner to Chappie. Not necessarily a bad thing, but there was a bit too much "Vietnam War" vibes for a film set 40 years from now.

And please, could movies stop having gun battles where the shooters just stand exposed in open ground until they are inevitably shot down. Take some cover for crying out loud !

Boudica: Queen of War (2023)

Awful

[2/10 · 29 October 2023]

Not sure even where to start with this one. The script has to be one of the worst ones ever written. Why even bother to make a "historical" movie if you are going to pepper it with modern speech.

It is cringingly bad in this respect.

Boudica spent most of her time looking like a hippy art teacher complete with smock.

Obviously shot on a low budget, they tried to make 9 or 10 Romans look like 80. Lots of gore, the action wasn't bad at first but soon became very repetitive as Boudica took on the elite Roman centurions one at a time and dispatched them with ease.

And apparently Boudica or Boedicia took advice from her dead daughters. Of course !

Please stop making such terrible films about actual interesting historical figures.

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

Lacklustre effort.

[3/10 · 26 October 2023]

Started out promisingly, with the chaos of an earthquake in Haiti well-handled but as soon as the "action" returned to the US it started on a slippery slope of mediocrity and never recovered.

There were a few jump scares which is rare for any horror movie nowadays.

My main problem with it was the completely disjointed and badly handled episode where the 2 girls go into the woods. It was almost as though 10 or 15 minutes of explanatory plot was cut out.

The exorcism at the end was a hodge podge of characters all shouting at once. "Take this bowl of (demon essence or something?) to the East away from the house and dispose of it" Um OK. Just a bit more explanation would have been helpful.

Seemed a bit cheeky to use Tubular Bells after all that nonsense.

Colonials (2023)

Avoid

[1/10 · 7 October 2023]

Wow, I thought the recent War of the Worlds was bad, but this dire piece of garbage movie-making actually made that look professional.

I can't figure out how films like this actually see the light of day.

Terrible acting, terrible script and terrible CGI. Ok it gets 1 star for occasionally having a not too bad CGI scene but 5 seconds later they are back to looking like something an 8 year old did on their iPad.

Maybe it was supposed to be like this, the scriptwriter and director(s) were trying to make the dullest cheesiest sci-fi mangled steaming pile - in which case, well done, you succeeded beyond your dreams.

War of the Worlds: The Attack (2023)

Truly terrible

[1/10 · 25 September 2023]

Absolutely awful in every way. A script that must have been written by a 12 year old and probably the worst acting I have ever seen.

To call it wooden would be an insult to trees. Trees could act better.

I lasted 20 minutes and I knew after 5 minutes there was no way I was going to be able to watch it all. Don't waste your time with this, your time would be better spent re-grouting the shower tiles or arranging your book collection by the colour of the covers. The trailer was masterful in disguising just how bad this would be, certainly made me think it might be worth watching. No, no nooooo.

Ahsoka (2023– )

Slow to the point of tedium.

[3/10 · 23 August 2023]

I was asleep within 10 minutes of the first episode. The pacing is astonishingly slow, it was almost like they had mastered the art of making time stand still.

It's like they invented a machine to suck all the atmosphere and life out of the Star Wars universe and presented it to us as a freeze-dried still-life, yes even Han Solo had more movement after Boba snap-froze him.

I woke, briefly mused on the bad CGI alien cat and dozed off again.

Poor light sabre fights, an opening just dredged up from every other Star Wars film, I could go on but what's the point, they have taken a great great franchise and ruined it yet again.

Zzzz.

Let the Right One In (2022)

Shame it was cancelled

[8/10 · 10 August 2023]

Well written, well acted, what a shame it has been cancelled.

There was a lot of filler in some of the episodes - namely everything to do with the restaurant that the father founded with his friend - what is this, a show about vampires or haute cuisine ?

The whole story could have been wrapped up in 10 episodes but for this meandering. Also too much with Ellie's little friend.

But despite that, the plot was tight and threads came back around to be tied up very nicely.

Particulary good was the father, tortured beyond belief by what he had to do to keep his daughter who he loves above all else, alive.

Pic it up someone for a season 2 please.

Robots (I) (2023)

Tries but misses

[4/10 · 19 July 2023]

Long time since I read anything by Robert Sheckley and kudos for adapting one of his stories, but what a mess.

Sub-par acting, zero chemistry between the leads, way too many long shots of the New Mexico landscape (why for crying out loud?) and just generally quite unfunny and awkward.

The robot workers had a mask that looked like it was copied from the classic Primus video Wynona's Big Brown Beaver.

Nonsensical too - at the end they drive to Mexico to a border crossing that is just a hole in the massive newly built wall, but have to get out as concrete bars the way. So the other side they just walk through the desert ? Silly.

FUBAR (2023– )

Very enjoyable - go Arnie!

[9/10 · 13 July 2023]

I heard a negative opinion of this show on a podcast saying that Arnold leaping onto vans was just not believable at his age.

Who cares ! This is a hugely enjoyable romp and laugh out loud funny. Sure it has some silly plot points and is a little long on the sentimental stuff but it is sharply written, well acted and just heaps of fun.

Arnie is surrounded by characters that complement his character of a CIA spy trying to retire but getting dragged back into another caper this time with his daughter who is also a CIA spy.

Their dynamic makes up much of the story and they bounce of each other well.

Looking forward to season 2.

Troy (2004)

Epic

[8/10 · 9 July 2023]

I have just re-watched Troy, it still stands as one of the best epics set in this era.

I grew up reading stories of the Tale of Troy and Ancient Greek Heroes and have thus was pleased to learn this film was being made.

It does not stick to every part of the mythology, for instance Achilles dragged Hectors body around the city of Troy for days before Priam made his plea.

Hector did not kill Ajax or Menelaus. Ajax killed himself and Menelaus survived to return to Greece as did Agamennon.

Achilles was killed, a poison dart to his ankle - the only part of him that was vulnerable after his mother dipped him in the River Styx when he was a baby.

And the actual siege of Troy lasted many many years before they finally came up with the idea of the Trojan horse. Even with that the mythology states that Cassandra was suspicious that there were Greeks inside and called to them with their wives voices. One of them was killed by his fellows keeping him quiet.

Rather difficult to fit all this into a film of course, and they did pretty well considering.

Exciting battles, sweeping scenes, good performances with some great actors. Still well worth watching.

Malum (2023)

Terrible

[3/10 · 25 June 2023]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. The only positive thing about this movie i can think of is that the design of the demon at the end was quite good.

Otherwise this was a snooze fest from start to finish. The odd gory scene didn't change this.

One odd thing I noticed in the credits is it said "The American Humane association monitored some of the animal scenes. No animal was harmed in these scenes" Doesn't that kind of indicate that some were in the scenes they didn't monitor ? Bizarre and a bit disturbing.

Badly acted, no plot to speak of, just a seeming amalgamation of whatever the writer came up with on the spur of the moment.

Avoid.

Reel Britannia (2022)

Not bad but those graphics..

[6/10 · 9 June 2023]

A solid trawl through British films of the 60's/70's/80's and 90's even managing to highlight some films I had never heard of.

My biggest gripe with this documentary are the absolutely awful graphics used WAY too often, to illustrate different people like directors, producers etc.

Apart from not looking much like the person they are supposed to be, they are on screen for way too long while the narration continues.

Was this maybe to cut on copyright costs so they didn't use actual photos ? I can't think of any possible other reason unless the artist was a relative of Jon Spira.

They really do detract from what is otherwise a pretty well put togther doco, although if I heard them mention "Thatcher's Britain" once I heard it a thousand times. We get it - you didn't like her !

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

Fun but silly

[7/10 · 24 May 2023]

Sorry to say, but this could and should have been a tight 90 minutes long. I'm not sure how it even was 2 hours 49 minutes as not much really happened in the way of story.

Yes, the choreography of the many fights is amazing - the top down sequence in an house is very well done.

As many have pointed out, making John Wick pretty much impervious to pain or damage makes it all rather predictable. The complete disinterest of law enforcement to the proceedings is one thing, but people continuing to dance while baddies take axes to the head around them is just farcical.

So an enjoyable if flawed action movie in need of some heavy editing.

Simulant (2023)

Very so-so glimpse into the future

[5/10 · 10 May 2023]

A lot of people are comparing this film to Blade Runner, it is really only similar in that the main character is tracking down rogue "simulants" or "replicants" as in that movie.

For me though, this is a blatant steal from the video game Detroit: Beyond Human, so much so I am surprised they got away with it.

That game is all about androids overcoming their programming and being freed from servitude to humans.

It is not a terrible film but it is very obviously on a low budget and the final showdown between the hunter and hunted is very low-key and mundane.

Has some OK moments but could have been so much better.

65 (2023)

Fun but flawed

[5/10 · 8 April 2023]

Like many modern movies, it is perfectly possible to just switch your brain off and go with the flow. It is only afterwards you start adding up all the moments your brain was actually going "oh how convenient" (Mills has a nice long length of ordinary rope in his magic bag of holding backpack) or "how stupid" (His handheld device can detect the asteroid from the ground, but the ship they were travelling in couldn't detect the asteroid field they were approaching) Why does every sci-fi film that have spacecraft with passengers in suspended sleep always have something that hits the ship and wipes out most of them? Be nice, if not boring if just one gets to its destination with all present and accounted for!

The dinosaurs are well done and Ariana Greenblatt is excellent. Otherwise just a series of telegraphed cliches, but switch your brain off for an hour and a half and go with the flow.

Dark Lullabies: An Anthology by Michael Coulombe (2023)

Very patchy series of shorts.

[2/10 · 6 April 2023]

Not sure why I watched this. Not a good sign for a horror anthology when you nod off to sleep half way through.

None of the shorts are really scary or horrific or unfortunately well acted.

Some of the vignettes have reasonable ideas behind them, but the execution is so amateur that all tension or heightening of unease is lost. "Thrilling" it is not.

Mostly though it is the poor acting that lets this film down so badly.

Obviously made on a very small budget and it shows.

2 stars only for the first short, which at least attempts to be somewhat horrific but the rest of them would all get zero stars. Avoid.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

That sounded like Piglet !

[3/10 · 29 March 2023]

I had read that this film has been raking it in, off a very low budget and sometimes horror/slash movies can be entertaining.

It actually started off quite well, with a narrator and animation setting the scene for the return of Christopher Robin to the 100 acre wood. But oh dear oh dear, it soon descended into a mish mash of shoddy editing, truly bad acting - I read that to cut costs the director just went with the first takes regardless of stuff-ups. Maybe not the best idea dude.

I just find the helpless girls make bad decisions horror movies irritating - the scene in the pool as Piglet slowly advances on one of the girls, who even more slowly makes her way to the end of the pool, then just stands there to accept a sledgehammer to the head, is just farcical.

One of the girls even has a gun - whoops ! She can't remember where she put it (??) and then has a clear shot at Pooh but nah - we'll let him kill a couple more of our friends first. Then she appears to leave the gun on the ground while rescuing another girl - she clearly doesn't have it - but then phew! It pops up again in time for the girl they rescued to grab it, fire one shot before it jams. Just an illustration of how completely dumb the script is on this pitiful film.

The rest of it is verying degrees of worse.

3 stars just because it was Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. (Budget obviously didn't stretch to Owl and Rabbit, and they ate Eeyore.)

The Ritual Killer (2023)

Abysmal in every way.

[1/10 · 27 March 2023]

This has got to be up there with one of the worst films ever made.

Appalling acting, script that was probably written in about 10 minutes, terrible use of locations, pointless plot, nonsensical editing - just truly, truly awful.

Morgan Freeman must have agreed to this sight unseen or accidentally turned up to the wrong film set.

I don't think a minute of it went by without me thinking "what?".

Even a woman answering the door who had 1 line to say managed to say it in an unconvincing way.

I struggle to say anything good about it, perhaps it's only saving grace is that it is only 1 hr 30 minutes long, but even that seems like an eternity.

Avoid at all costs.