stonearrack Reviews

Poor Things (2023)

I went in blind and was almost still blind afterwards

[3/10 · 20 February 2024]

So Poor Things, a movie I could've enjoyed. Cinematography is nice, vibrant, fantastic settings and all. Actors do a great job in their roles, even do what they act out is....not that great. I will spoil this as it's a must. This movie has a very basic but of course twisted plot, which is nice in my opinion. The weirdness of the movie is what I suppose people are celebrating? Maybe there are themes of female independence and choice involved here, but it basically boils down to Emma Stone's character Bella sexing her way across multiple scenes, some funny, some grotesque. Then there's some fun animal hybrids and social commentary, albeit blatantly generic. If this wins an Oscar, I'll be surprised.

If you like tits and half-pig/half-hen hybrids, this is your go-to movie this year.

Argylle (2024)

Go in blind and by entertained!

[9/10 · 8 February 2024]

Argylle hits the spot fot a fun movie for me. It does not take itself seriously, it plays with tropes and clichés in a good way and give you value for your money. The story is basic, but with many twists, as you might expect from a "spy" movie, if that is what this is.

Regardless of what you hear or think about this movie, there are at least 2, if not 4-5 very well executed scenes that you really shouldn't miss. You will know them when you see them.

Actors are good, its especially fun to see Samuel L in a classic cameo where he actually spends most of his time watching basketball on TV, weird I know.

Go see at the movies, the above scenes mentioned are done justice on the big screen.

Ahsoka: Part Seven: Dreams and Madness (2023) Season 1, Episode 7

What did you do?

[3/10 · 30 September 2023]

I loved the start of this series, it suffered a bit from having a big reliance on Rebels and in some extent Clone Wars knowledge but as I had seen both it felt pretty fun reconnecting with the old gang in live action. As I said I loved the start, I think it all started with Sabine surviving the saber impalement, something Han Solo obviously couldn't in the (in my option optional) Rey Chronicles.

This episode built up to a tight fight, stranded all alone on an unknown world. But it turned out if you just are friends, you can do anything. Surrounded by a competent Force user and overwhelming firepower? Nah, just kill them. Not a single good good got hurt or wounded, not even the crab-people (which are pretty neat I have to admit).

Suspense is officially gone, sorry, Thrawn doesn't cut it in this version. He's acted cool but cant really pull of a plan, is his precious cargo so important that he will allow the Jedi to return to his ship? Sure thing. Tune in for next episode, "Ahsoka and friends take a Star Destroyer". Maybe he was good all along and played the long con against the Empire?

Nope (2022)

This movie reviewed itself

[1/10 · 14 February 2023]

The trailer to this movie set it up as if this would be something spooky and mysterious. This is NOT the case. If there is some metaphysical meaning to this movie, I do no know.

There is stuff with a murder monkey, lots of horses and seemingly uninterested actors running some kind of horse farm for the movies. There's also a wild west town that supposedly sacrifices horses to a sky monster for 6 months but nobody really cares. This is a spoiler, to help you on your way, but the big bad is a airborne manowar that eats people by sucking them up and hey, it's also disables electronics, because why not? The whole premise is laughable and a true disappointment.

So do as the title and nope out of this one.

Andor: Aldhani (2022) Season 1, Episode 4

Uneventful and boring

[3/10 · 8 November 2022]

I love Star Wars but this isn't it. I was hoping for a more bleak style, same as Rogue One taught us worked so well, but this isn't Star Wars. Star Wars is Space Opera, this is more like a crime drama, it could easily be set in Los Angeles with the same people and same setup and I wouldn't know the difference. Throwing in a Star Wars canon name or showing some "space-themed" stuff every now and then isn't really enough. I know people say this gets better, but 4 episodes is a lot to swallow just for backstory, especially after the mediocre Kenobi series. Also, feeling any investment in a very one dimensional and not-likeable character like Andor, who we all know dies in rogue One and plays no further part in the universe feels hard.

I think there's way to many ghost writers writing reviews for this show as well, someone mentioned "nerdgasm"? It's more fulfilling reading the Wookiepedia than watching this so far.

I'll keep watching, just to fill the space until the next Mandalorian season comes, which manages to capture what actual Star Wars is about.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Alloyed (2022) Season 1, Episode 8

First to review?

[6/10 · 14 October 2022]

It seems the story is taking a step back from the written material. Seems there is some wonky editing going on here as well. The reveal of the main antagonist this early felt a bit cheap, would have liked a longer arc for Halbrand. Also the teleports? And mystery man is Gandalf? Seems like they took the easy way out here. A unknown blue wizard and his adventures would have been cooler. Seems they did the old Star Wars mistake and made the old remake of Gandalf and a Hobbit on adventure again.

It is still a gorgeous show, environments and all is great. Interesting how this will keep going for five seasons, will it just be CGI fighting for the rest?

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Not too shabby

[7/10 · 4 September 2022]

I think many were expecting great things here and it's still to early to decide if this is those things. I was thinking about putting a 5-star rating, but those are deleted it seems, so you are not allowed to be so-so in your reviews, interesting.

Casting is pretty good, Hugo made an impression as Elrond so there is some living up to there, but it is shaping along nicely so far. The young Galadriel is really good, although elves should be perhaps be even more regal.

Storywise it is still early, there is a lot of foreshadowing but I believe the pace will pick up as we go. I liked the start as it told the backstory in a nice way.

When it comes to cinematography, one thing we talked about is how they enhanced a lot of the regular natural places, so it looks like augmented reality a bit, weird but it looks "fantasy" I guess.

I look forward to seeing where this takes us!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part IV (2022) Season 1, Episode 4

Disappointing continuation

[4/10 · 13 June 2022]

Weak writing plagues this along with some sloppy editing. It's like Disney decided to waste all the potential in favor of maybe selling a new droid merch. Third Sister is still weaker as a antagonist than Kylo Ren, which doesn't say much. Leia has bad lines, I think she could have been great but I think Carrie would have laughed her ass off looking at the material she's gotten.

Final scene screams Deus Ex Machina and weak writing, also when Third Sister says that she hid a tracker on their ship, had I've been Vader that neck would have snapped. What she's saying is that she put a tracker on a Snowspeeder, which is a blatant lie.

Who's Wade by the way?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part III (2022) Season 1, Episode 3

Horrible editing or just horrible script?

[4/10 · 2 June 2022]

So many inconsistencies in how characters behave, weird scenes and probably some non-euclidean geometry makes this episodes the weakest one so far. The non-stop pointless parkour of the Third Sister in the last episode was a real treat though. Kenobi should be shaken by encountering Vader but Vader behaves weirdly and Kenobi doubly so. Nah, too bad, hope it shapes up but have low hopes by now.

The King's Man (2021)

Weak Kingsman prequel

[4/10 · 3 April 2022]

Sorry to say that even though the actors are great, the script fails to deliver a proper Kingsman movie. Action is good but the scenes are bad and the way it just basically follows established history without any real fun twist makes this less of a spy movie and more of a generic action flic.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Bad scipt, tearful reunion

[6/10 · 12 March 2022]

The script here isn't strong as it's a rehash of the first film but with kids. There's some obvious bad cuts, continuity misses and the action scenes are fairly weak. Too smart kids with unlikely dialogue and the cliché setup makes this something I won''t watch again.

I never counted the 2016 movie as a real Ghostbusters movie and this closes the loop and makes it an actual trilogy.

What makes this worth the watch is to see the old guard back together, that brings back fond memories of my childhood.

Bill, Dan, Harold and Earnest, thanks for the movie history you created!

Sigourney too, fun with all the small cameos. :)

Nightmare Alley (2021)

A miss

[3/10 · 3 February 2022]

A slow fare with good actors, great settings and a nice tone. What brings this down is the absolute lack of interesting story. Nothing here is new and it's filled with clichés. There no great mystery, no real and riveting characters development and the story offers no great payoff or insight.

I had the feel that it would offer a weirder deep dive with a twist in the end, but alas, it failed to appear. If this had turned into a Lovecraft mythos movie at the carnival, it would have turned out great.

How I Met Your Father (2022–2023)

Like spitting on the original series

[1/10 · 29 January 2022]

Vapid and untimed, these failed empty characters try to start the laugh-machine by voice commands and fails the timing every time. Suspiciously diverse they follow a script that a 20-something wannabe comedy writer put together on the morning break and was happy that they got both Uber and Tinder in the text. So perfect.

I do hope this is quickly forgotten and the old cast don't take offense on the fact that someone tried to usurp the quality show that they ran.

Avoid.

Se upp för Jönssonligan (2020)

Misses the whole point

[3/10 · 25 December 2021]

They had a great cast but missed the signature characters special things. The plot was really convoluted and had weird plot holes. Sad this didn't turn out to be what we all expected, a bad script sunk this boat I'm afraid.

Jungle Cruise (2021)

Lame mishmash of adventure tropes

[4/10 · 18 December 2021]

If you take what you think is best with movies like Indiana Jones, Romancing the Stone and The Mummy and run it through a Disney writing team who also think Pirates of the Caribbean is great you get this.

It starts of ok but devolves into a series of quirky dialogue choices, illogical events and over the top CGI scenes.

Acting is good but writing is just so bad.

Worth a watch as a part of a matinée evening and you are tipsy enough to enjoy it.

The Red Ape Family: The Arrival! (2021) Season 1, Episode 1

Nope

[1/10 · 16 December 2021]

I saw this by accident and thought it was a joke video made by some students. Please avoid if this is an actual series. I regret every minute of this experience. I really do. Is this 150 characters? Guess so.

There's Someone Inside Your House (2021)

Is this real?

[1/10 · 13 October 2021]

After seeing this I thought it was a joke movie. I wont even go into detail on the bad script, the hollow clichés and the incredible un-suspensful setup. Not even good for a laugh so avoid.

The Reckoning (2020)

Horribly bland

[2/10 · 10 April 2021]

This movie has next to no real story except being a historical exposé.

Inaccurate things from the period abounds and weird acting. Avoid this.

The Wandering Earth (2019)

Watch the trailer, skip the movie

[1/10 · 1 May 2019]

If you like what you see in the trailer, stop now and use your imagination instead of seeing this. There's a thin confused story which just gets worse and worse. Characters are bland or not even introduced before they do something grand and then die. Science is fantasy as well. The SFX are fine, but that's about it. Dialogue is as if a 7 year old wrote it. Avoid. Do not listen to the china-bots.