stopcallingmeshirley Reviews

Trailer Park Boys (2001–2018)

I feel obligated to review The Boys....

[7 September 2012]

...because of how much true laughter they've given me.

Trailer Park Boys showed up on my 'You Might Like' list on Netflix. I watched the first episode and was a little bored. The second episode, same thing. I set it to the side for awhile, then came back a few months later to give it a shot again. Episode 3 hit and I finally saw the light. Everything came together and I laughed hysterically.

I suppose this is true with any television series. You have to give it a couple episodes to set up the characters and find it's stride before giving it a fair assessment.

Fast-forward to now. I have two more episodes left before I complete the series. I've already told my wife that after I complete the series and movies, I plan to re-watch the entire series again (something I've never done before for a TV show). I've 'liked' their official Facebook page, I've joined their unofficial message board, and I'm waiting for them to come out to the West Coast so I can buy tickets for their live show. Did I mention that I got my dad hooked too? The reason for my devotion to TPB, the reason I've taken my own free time to write a review of the show, is because they are brilliant. Brilliantly written, brilliantly acted, and brilliantly directed. And I don't use that word lightly.

TPB does NOT pander to the lowest common denominator as might be assumed. There are things going on, little comedic subtleties, that crack me up. The way Jim Leahy stares at a drink. The way Ricky beams when thinking about getting his 'grade 10'. Randy referring to Barbara Leahy as 'Barb' in that thick accent of his. I hear it's a 'Nova Scotia' accent. I don't know what it is, but it's hilarious.

You may be surprised at what you won't find in TPB: No wife-beating. No rednecks. No gang-bangers. You also won't find excessive use of Canadian slang or references. This isn't a knock on Canadians, in fact given the brilliance of TPB, I'd have to say that I love Canadians. But here in the US, our jokes about Canada are along the lines of 'how a-boot we play some hockey eh'? That is NOT what TPB delivers. I do notice that Ricky makes a big deal about eating pepperoni...I don't know if that's a Canadian thing or not, but it's hysterical nonetheless.

There have been a couple episodes that were off the mark, yet still delivered memorable comedy. The style and approach has changed somewhat in the last few seasons and I haven't found myself laughing quite as much, but to quote the character Ray, "That's The Way She Goes".

Slight character spoiler follows:

Let me give you some background on Ray. He is Ricky's dad, and he also lives in the Trailer Park. Ray is a former trucker and an alcoholic who uses a wheelchair to get around. However, Ray doesn't need the wheelchair. He only uses it as a prop for investigators, because Ray lives on disability for a non-existent back injury that ended his trucking career. Ray does his best to dispense advice to Ricky, his son, and sometimes they get drunk together...at Ray's request.

The thing is, when you watch Ray, listen to Ray, and see him interact with Ricky, you start to like him. He's obviously a broken man, surviving on fraudulent disability and cheap liquor, but in some strange way you're pulling for him. That's because as poorly equipped as Ray is to deal with life, he's still doing what he can to help his son Ricky.

Ray is only one character in the hilarious universe that is Trailer Park Boys. Another reviewer mentioned this show 'changing his life'. I won't go that far, but I will say that this show has been an unforgettable experience for me. I have NEVER watched a show with such rich characters as those found in Trailer Park Boys.

Ricky and Bubbles are profanity machines. Jim Leahy is a RAGING alcoholic. Julian and Ricky grow 'dope' for sale, and sometimes go to prison. Yet when all is said and done, humanity is witnessed in all players.

If I've done my part to intrigue you, then take the time to watch episodes 1-4 (22 min each). Eps 1-2 should be considered character setup. Don't start with the movies, and if you've seen the movies, don't let them reflect on the series (I've heard they aren't very good, though for me at this point it's irrelevant). If you still aren't feeling it after episode 4, then at least you can say you gave it a fair shot. But if you make it to episode 4 and get hooked, welcome to the Park! And watch out for Leahy, he's a drunk ******* bastard!

Tron: Legacy (2010)

I'd rather watch paint dry than watch this turkey again.

[6 September 2012]

Wowsers. I picked this up on my VOD service. What a disappointment.

I'm a fan of the original Tron. I loved it when I was a kid and I actually made a point of watching it again about a year ago. The original was certainly not as good as I'd thought when I was a stinky little schoolyard kid, but as an adult I could never say that it wasn't inventive in both story and presentation.

Tron: Legacy is neither. It's horribly clichéd and boring, and tarnishes the, ahem, legacy, of the original. I can't even recommend this for sarcastic laughter viewing, as it takes itself way too seriously and goes on for far too long (over 2 hours).

Much of the cliché has already been covered in other reviews. I'll illuminate other plot elements which I found distracting.

The movie begins with some sort of stock scheme being pursued by Dillinger's son (Dillinger was the 'bad guy' in the original), who is somehow involved at an executive-level with Flynn's software company. Why?? How?? This makes no sense.

During the 'Dillinger scheming meeting', Flynn's son breaks into his dad's software company...or at least I think it's the elder Flynn's company. My confusion comes from the fact that, as the son of Flynn, couldn't Junior just walk in? Come to think of it, I think Junior was on the board of directors or something too. Are you confused? Welcome to Tron: Legacy! After breaking in to a building that he presumably could have entered through the front door, Flynn Jr steals a piece of software and ends up base-jumping off the roof to make his getaway on a Ducati motorcycle. He makes his big getaway by jumping down, on the bike, from a freeway overpass and onto the street below. I must have missed something...since when did they start making concrete freeway guard rails angled?

How do I know it was a Ducati, you ask? Because it was product-placed and mentioned late in the film by name. Thanks Disney!

A phone page sent to Flynn Sr's buddy Allen results in Junior going to his dad's old arcade and finding a secret room hidden behind a machine. He then enters a few commands on a computer whose software-language should be completely foreign to him, and zaps himself with the old man's laser to enter 'the grid'. Did he do this on purpose, or was it an accident?

The 'grid' has apparently become a sort of working city, full of leisure. I don't know how or why, I assumed all of the inhabitants would be working since they are programs written with a specific purpose. Is their purpose to waste time?

What I do know is that there is an 'off-grid' portion where Flynn Sr lives. Off-grid is a scary-looking wasteland with ominous rocky terrain and thunderclouds above. I think there was wind too. Why? How? Isn't the 'grid' supposed to be representative of an electronic circuit and/or software code? How can there be an 'off-grid' area?

It just goes on and on like this. Jr meets evil Flynn, who I thought was actually good Flynn at first until Jr and Sr reunite off-grid. At his off-grid château, Sr gives us a talk about him replicating himself, having that plan somehow turn bad, and getting stuck inside the grid. I believe he's wearing linen while he gives us this talk. How does he eat in the grid? Who's cutting the guy's hair and where'd he buy the threads?

There's a chick with cropped hair hanging out with Sr. Now she's hanging out with Jr and Sr both. She turns out to be the last surviving member of a race that spontaneously arose inside 'the grid'. All others of her ilk were killed off by evil Flynn. Why?? How??

Flynn Sr tells us that the magic exit to the outside world will evaporate in only a few hours. I don't know why, but that's what he said. So now the threesome is hell bent on getting to the magic exit. They fly some sort of spaceship, linearly, to the gate. Why? They're flying, can't they come up with a better plan then just flying straight into the heart of bad-guy-ville? And how is the spaceship flying? Is it aerodynamic, using the air for lift? How does it propel itself? Why don't they just fly at a higher altitude and avoid bad-guy-ville altogether?

They wind up in bad-guy-ville and Flynn Sr's disk weapon / identifier is stolen. I think this prevents Sr from leaving, but I don't know why. There's an spaceship dogfight which occurs, and out of the blue an incognito Tron appears...then dies in some weird martyrdom action. I honestly didn't know this helmeted, latex-ed character was Tron until reading these reviews. I think he was present earlier in the movie too, but I wouldn't know for sure because as I said, he was wearing a helmet and bodysuit like everyone else. How's this: If Tron was there throughout the movie, then I was too. I was the one wearing the helmet and bodysuit. My presence would make about as much sense as anything else happening in this elaborate waste of time.

I forgot to add: Sr has some sort of superpowers. How?? Why?? He used these a couple times, including at the end to prevent evil Flynn from escaping into the outside world. And what would evil Flynn do if he made it to the outside world? Bore me to death? If this is the 'new normal' of Hollywood filmmaking, then I'm never watching another current movie again. It's insulting and a waste of time. Whoever green-lighted this should be ashamed of themselves. How do you look at yourself in the mirror every day, knowing you're responsible for creating this travesty? WHY WAS IT ALLOWED TO LIVE!!??

Catch It Keep It (2009– )

Great science fun!!

[8 February 2010]

This show takes a prize (plasma TV, motor scooter, year's supply of omaha steaks, etc), applies a destruction mechanism (steamroller and boiling water flattening and cooking steaks, junk car launched at 40 mph towards TV), then gives three handymen/engineer types 48 hours to conceive of and build a defense of the prize. At the 48 hour mark, the destruction mechanism is enabled. If the prize comes through cleanly, the 3 contestants win the prize. If they fail, we all get to watch in awe as a $2,000 television is completely destroyed.

Oh, and while the contestants build their solution, the show's own engineer designs and builds his own solution (which typically varies widely from what the contestants have come up with). We also get to watch his protection design tested out.

This show is not just fun for the science / puzzle-minded adult, but I'd also recommend it for kids 10+. It is a great introduction to physics for youngsters.

I've seen every episode, and I'm waiting for the next season. PLEASE BRING US ANOTHER SEASON!

The Colony (2009– )

If fake reality is your thing, go for it!

[9 September 2009]

I liked the premise of this show when I saw the preview and so decided to give it a shot. While the first episode had some slightly over-the-top moments, I wrote them off to a bunch of new people all being nervous/excited on camera and trying to ham it up.

I invested too much time into the first few episodes and now I'm stuck until the finale, and the bad acting and ridiculous scenarios have gotten worse. This show is obviously choreographed, with multiple camera angles and edits during 'tense' moments. One can only assume that a director is yelling 'action' in-between takes.

If you don't like the idea of Bear Grylls being 'presented with situations' and having the availability of 'off-camera experts' to assist him, then you certainly won't like this show (in fact it has the same disclaimer). What's funny is that Man v Wild is actually more believable to me.

Do I want people to get killed on camera? No. But if a girl is a poor engineer, and she attempts to do something that would result in failure, then I expect her to NOT be helped. Show the failure. If a guy is doing something dangerous, then fine, jump in and stop him. But don't then go and teach him the right way so that he does it correctly, just cut him out of it completely. If The Colony never gets lights because there are no qualified electricians, then leave it at that.

Nearly every ridiculous *presented* task is successful. Is it too much to ask to simply want to see people pass or fail a task at the same rate they would in real life? Now THAT would be exciting TV. I want to see real ingenuity, not science projects guided step-by-step by the off-camera instructor.

This is reality-lite.