lasherxl Reviews

The Real (I) (2013–2022)

Screechingly painful

[1/10 · 20 August 2015]

I was just flipping through the channels and ran into this and it first it was a bit like a car accident, you know you should turn away but you just can't. They were talking about things and as it progressed the volume level raised and the pitch went so high I thought my windows might shatter, you think I'm exaggerating, but I actually still have a headache from listening to them.

Now before people dismiss me, I am a guy, but I have watched shows like The View, I like women's take on a subject we are different in many ways same in others, but these girls were insistent that men and women's sexual drives are essentially similar, which is categorically untrue. Then as they carried on it they mentioned how much religion played a part in sexual connection, which for some if not many it does, but certainly not everyone. As the camera panned through the audience it was almost entirely African American women, then it all made sense.

If you are a young African-American woman 20-32 who is very devout but slightly vapid, then this is most assuredly the show for you. Personally I must avoid it to keep all my wine glasses intact. I don't think this bodes well to providing a positive foundation and influence for young up and coming African-American girls, but I am neither a girl nor African-American so mayhaps I'm wrong. To me I just wish they would speak instead of caterwauling on and on.

Houdini (2014)

I wanted to love this, I really did.

[7/10 · 6 September 2014]

The production was well done, cinematography spot on and well acted but it felt slightly disjointed all along the way. The performances mostly Adrien Brody kept things entertaining and charismatic, that and witnessing the creation and execution of some of his death defying stunts.

More foreshadowing of future events aside from the x-ray shot of his repeated gut punches probably could have held things along and taken this from good to great.

Now don't get me wrong you'll most likely enjoy this as a casual nights watching, but to fall short of greatness when your subject matter is Houdini and your lead is Adrien Brody, well its disappointing.

Calendar (1993)

A Mixed Bag

[5/10 · 13 August 2013]

There are moments in the film of sheer visual brilliance and even a fantastic narrative, though I doubt anyone could ever deny Atom Egoyan is a visually haunting artist. Between the various ruins and moments of real time captured on the trip making the film you see a true landscape, not only of the area, but of its people and what makes them who and what they are.

The problem is that with all that greatness are long moments of unneeded scenes or derivative exposition that remove the warm touching moments and at times just bore the ever loving crap out of you. Mind you I'm not anti art or art-esque films, it's just that these didn't really add a magical moment or create an air of mystery to the overall story or film.

I feel like the best part of the film was the Armenian man's story. The added problem here is that you only ever hear his stories second hand via the female translator, and they lack the dramatic impact he has when telling them, only you can't understand his words because there are no subtitles.

The 5 rating was mainly I just felt like everything good he captured he lost in being a tad pretentious.

Motive (2013–2016)

Not Bad, Not Great

[6/10 · 2 June 2013]

The concept is different points for that, the overall cinematography nice in comparison to the flat washed out look you get from most Canadian dramas.

Unfortunately the flat and washed out comes in via the story lines and characters. Don't get me wrong I love Kristin Lehman, and she does a good job as does Louis Ferreira, but the connection between them still feels blah and not very flushed out. You want to care about the characters and you just don't, even in the pilot when you meet her son it was so boring and snooze-ville and didn't feel at all like mother son, but brother and sister.

This has been a repeat I've seen from many a CTV produced Canadian dramas, flat characters, flat story lines, overall leading to a generally flat drama. Sure it's better than an episode of The Bachelor, but only just barely.

Da Vinci's Demons (2013–2015)

Brilliant, Visually Stunning, Brutal, Vile, and Utterly Decadent

[10/10 · 12 April 2013]

Starz did such a fantastic job crafting this, not only in the cinematography, but in the scope, artistry and story lines. It manages to encapsulate all the lush decadence of the period with its harsh and ofttimes corruptible nature.

Why no one has ever considered covering the amazing man that was Davinci before is beyond me, but seeing how he lived and what he did is thoroughly intoxicating. What I think should, and most likely will make most viewers flock to this is experiencing how his ideas came to fruition, from what inspired them and how he searched out such inspiration.

I love it when a show manages to entrance me with both good and bad whilst constantly leaving me craving for more. The first episode was so wondrous I cannot wait for more.

Boston's Finest (2013– )

Very Sleepy

[1/10 · 6 March 2013]

So when I initially saw the reviews of this show I was not very hopeful, but as always I give things a shot only because there have been times when I misjudged a show prematurely. In this particular case I was not wrong.

Now first off let me state, I have massive respect for what these guys do and the danger they and other officers like them face to protect us. All that being said it the pacing is so slow, and it isn't helped at all by Mark Whalberg's somber narration. It sounds like Mark is getting ready to either take a nap or he's mired in a post Ambien haze.

I really do wish for Boston PD's sake this was as fun and interesting as the city of Boston is, but that did not happen here.

The Kid (2001 TV Movie)

Disappointing and mediocre

[2/10 · 26 October 2012]

I don't mind animated or kids films I review them on their merits, but this just seemed so terribly underwhelming. After watching films and TV shows for kids both as a kid and later as an adult I've always felt mad when I see something dumbed down for kids. As if children are retarded versions of our adult selves, instead of the amazing knowledge sponges i've experienced.

This is another one of those films that panders to the lowest common denominator and leaves everyone wanting more. Personally I feel whenever I see a kids film it should make me feel a tinge of what that moment was like, whenever everything seemed to have a bit of magic and wonderment in it.

Nashville (2012–2018)

So Impressive!

[9/10 · 17 October 2012]

Now lets just start off by saying I had already expected to like this show. I'm a big fan of the 2 female leads and reading and hearing all the buzz and what i'd seen in previews I had a feeling we were in for something special.

Then the first episode debuts and I'm left completely stunned, not only is the acting and story top notch, but the songs are completely ace, and I am no country music fan so that definitely is saying something. That last song "If I Didn't Know Better" blew me away and was a perfect end to the evening, it was soulful, deeply profound, and evocative.

As leads Hayden and Connie drive the story so wonderfully as strong women and musicians with clear and definitive points of view, oddly enough some of them are the same *cough* Deacon *cough*. Let me just briefly mention Charles (Chip) Esten who I have not really seen since the old skool Brit Who's Line is it Anyway, but this time instead of improv comedy he's doing full blown drama and music, very impressive.

If you haven't yet watch this and you won't be disappointed.

Final Witness (2012– )

Been there, done that, seen the crime scene tape

[4/10 · 25 July 2012]

Final Witness is no more than one of those crime witness shows you see on Tru TV or the old ones that were hosted by Robert Stack back in the 90s. Someone dies, you get bad actors playing the parts of real life folks, a smattering of the real DA's and detectives who worked the actual case.

What could be resolved in about 30 minutes is dragged out for the full hour, rinse and repeat with the next episode. Yes, the fact that it's true stories its awful for those families and of course the victim, but as far as good television goes its a bit sleepy.

No it doesn't totally suck, but neither does it excite.

The Fades (2011)

One of The Most Brilliant British Shows

[10/10 · 5 February 2012]

Now I will agree with those other reviewers it did take a few episodes to lay in the groundwork of the show, but believe you me, it is all well worth the wait. Though its not to say that there aren't great points in the eps 1-3, but when episode 4 hits the ground running its when all the juicy bits of preamble come together to form a smorgasborg of tasty horrific goodness or evilness or... well you get the point.

Everything from here on out has this stark savage urgency, it twists and turns on the head of a nail. I cannot deny this his quickly become one of my favourite new shows, its so unpredictable and I had goosebumps thru all of ep. 4, which is not a feat easily achieved with me.

If you like a good mix of horror with a smattering of apocalyptic wonderland this is clearly the show for you.

The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold (2006 Video)

It wasn't horrible it wasn't fantastic

[3/10 · 6 November 2011]

On its merits alone it would have been a fine Saturday afternoon flick. It was rather predictable in storyline but anyone starting that could figure that out 2 minutes in.

Where it falls shortest is in the rehashing of the toe-pick joke from the first movie, I was only hoping they would hint at it until she finally said it. The other part was the bad 80s music which is OK if you're watching a brat pack spin off flick from pre 1992, in 2006 it just feels like the director was still in torn jeans and a Def Leppard shirt.

If you're just looking for something easy going, or a movie to watch while recovering from major head surgery then you're set. I know it sounds mean, but I just wish these people would give a damn when they make a film to have it look better than a high school production of Grease.

Mooz-Lum (2010)

Stunning and powerful

[10/10 · 2 September 2011]

I was watching another movie when this rolled up on cable and I saw some of the cast and the title and thought, well lets give it a shot.

Freely I have to admit I was expecting something a bit lighter more of a younger take on being Muslim at a college in America, and the impact 911 had on all Americans Muslim and non-Muslim.

T or Tariq was played magnificently as a young man who is questioning his faith and all the supporting characters were interesting, purposeful ,and well written, but the most impactful was Tariq's mother portrayed by Nia Long. She was strong in all the right ways that it made it feel true and honest like a real Muslim mother.

Now I know how I felt when 9-11 happened and realistically I knew it had to be harder on the Muslim Americans (which I still think people oftimes forget, they are both Muslim and American). The horror and pain they felt was as real and deep as all of ours, if not even more so knowing that people had done this in the name of their faith, which does not preach such violence.

The real beauty of this film is that it does not try to preach or point fingers or say who's wrong and who's right, but show that we have more in common than we think, and we all can be hurt by the same things.

This film is so well done and moving if you have not seen it you must.

Vanilla Sky (2001)

A Pale Representation of the Original

[1/10 · 24 September 2010]

I was originally very curious about this film when it first came out because I loved the original, Abre Los Ojos was enthralling melodic and enchanting, and Vanilla sky tried very hard but it just kept missing the mark.

Even when you compare the amazing Penelope Cruz's two performances there was so much more in the first film. She had this sweet haunting eloquence that was not present in the latter. Then we come to Tom Cruise who can ofttimes be so hit and miss with his acting (yes I know this will earn me scorn, but its true), there are films he's done where he is brilliant, The Last Samurai, Born on the 4th of July. This felt like one of his more pedestrian performances, much could be said for Cameron Diaz in this as well.

Perhaps if I had not seen Abre Los Ojos my opinion of this would have been vastly different I really can't be sure, but it was sad for me because I desperately wanted to like this.

The 48th Annual Grammy Awards (2006 TV Special)

Tremendous Performances

[7/10 · 9 February 2006]

While over all it was your standard award show. what definitely made this special were the tremendous performances, some of which were Madonna and Gorillaz (oh yeah!). Hey what can I say in my eyes, the Gorillaz can do no wrong... Personally, I would love to know how they got Madonna to dance with Murdoch, both in front and behind.. I was curious about how they were gonna pull that off, but hey, they did it.

Also, U2 with Mary J. Blige... now all I have to say about that is DAMN!!!!!!!!! I was cheering along like I was sitting there in the audience watching it live in person.. such people and their ability to lay their heart and soul out there and touch you in that way.. what more can you say.

Kanye West was also rather comical when he won and said he hadn't prepared a speech and in large letters it said Thank You List... Award shows, while interesting and deserved, often tend to be stale, its nice in these that the performances keep that from happening.

Afro Deutsch (2002)

Stunning and unnerving...

[10/10 · 25 February 2003]

I originally had this movie playing in the background, but the verse caught me, even though it was in German it was lyrical, and had such a presence that it was absolutely captivating.

The film via german rap explores the changing concept of racism in modern Germany. How it changes but in some ways remains ultimately the same. How now that black culture is being imulated by white culture they still in many respects view them as a lesser citizen. It delivers a well thought out message that is very heartfelt. The cinematography is as well brilliant and stunning. Well worth the 13 minutes of film it was shot upon, if only more film was like this.

Carrie (2002 TV Movie)

To Remake or Not to Remake, that is the question...

[6 November 2002]

The Remake of carrie was at some moments startling and interesting, at other times, trite and lacking some focus. The best scenes in the film were between Carrie's Mom (Patricia Clarkson) and Carrie herself. These scenes really seemed to have some gusto to them. You felt compelled to see the relationship between mother and daughter here. Clarkson gave a stellar performance as always which is probably what held this film together so well.

I like David Keith a lot, but i really found the detective interview scenes kind of boring.

All in all, it wasnt bad, it wasnt grand. Perhaps if they had kept the rest of it as intriguing as the mother/daughter sequences it would have propelled it into a higher level.

Behind the Lines (1997)

A Heart-wrenchingly Different War Film

[9/10 · 17 December 2001]

Regeneration is an amazing film, it discusses the unseen wounds left on soldiers by war. The emotional trauma it causes them and how best we can help them, if we can at all.

James Wilby gives a remarkable performance as an officer who is sickened by the war that he sees around him. He isn't so much mentally ill as disgusted with war and his contribution in it. Jonny Lee Miller is also amazing in his portrayal of an officer driven mute. When he discovers his voice he is angry and argumentative, but slowly we discover that all of his anger is a shell to protect the hurt that has built up inside of him.

One of the biggest underlying themes in this film is how useless war is, even if it is for the right cause. Mainly because it destroys the human psyche and removes hope.

This is a startling film, and touching and emotional. It cuts to the core of who we all are, as human beings.

War Zone (1998)

Highly repetitive

[1/10 · 24 August 2001]

While the premise of the film sounded unique and intriguing after watching the first 5 minutes of the film I could have stopped there and gone on with my life. She does get some interesting comments and reactions from her subjects, but not really enough to add to the validity of the film.

I also felt she went a bit overboard with many things. If a guy said a filthy comment, grabbed her, or made some disgusting gesture to her, I would say go for it, bring him down, he's a pig. What bothered me though is she would walk around in revealing clothes and be surprised when guys would look at her and give them hell about it.

I think somehow she forgot that being attracted to other people is a part of human sexuality and a big part of who we all are. Guys will look at beautiful women, especially when they dress provocatively, just like women will look at men when they are wearing a tight tank or no shirt at all.

Some women may hate me for this, but I hope not. I have much respect for women. I was raised by one. I also come from a Spanish family and we are very matriarchal. My grandmother was the center of my family for years, but I don't really feel this did anything to help women's rights and from what the filmmaker even said herself, some women were offended by her project.

Crime + Punishment in Suburbia (2000)

Narcotically Haunting...

[8/10 · 10 August 2001]

When I first heard about this being based on Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment I was fearful that it was going to be another half-hearted teen version of a classic. I am so glad I was wrong.

While Dostoyevsky made his point with words, Rob Schmidt did the same with the films imagery which truly was both narcotic and haunting. He would make you feel as if you were in some drug induced dream/nightmare. You felt as if you were trapped between Heaven and Hell, happiness and sorrow, love and loss.

As the story progresses you watch the ghosts of Roseanne (Monica Keena) slowly absorb her. She goes from this glowing image of beauty to a shadow of a human being. It's stark and disturbing. While Vincent (Vincent Kartheiser) the seemingly gloomy one, who loves her from the beginning of the film is the sole voice of reason, hope, and beauty in her slowly cascading world of tragedies.

The film epitomizes the continuous hopelessness that many today feel but refuse to acknowledge. Although, I think what the film does best is that it shows us these sadnesses while reinforcing us with the concepts that we can make anything happen if we want to badly enough. Good or bad, we are the only ones responsible for our fates.

Soledad (2000)

Poetic and Deeply Symbolic

[10/10 · 8 May 2001]

Soledad is a wonderful tale of Richard, a man who is coming to terms with being a free man after spending his whole life as a slave. He had to endure watching his mother sold off to another slave trader, while his father was beat before his very eyes. An unfortunate accident during this whipping leaves him with a permanent scar ever reminding him of that day when he lost so much.

As he walks around he is constantly reminded by all those around him of how "different" he is. By chance he runs across Matilde a beautiful flamenco dancer who seems as trapped by her life as he is. There is a beautiful moment where they together are both completely and utterly free of the bonds that have held them too long.

This is both magical and poetic because it doesn't rely heavily on dialogue, but instead creates form and image to represent the emotions and tragedies that have befallen them both. The film has a wonderous texture, making you forget where you are and what you are doing and allow you to live in another world for a few minutes. It's something film should always do, but always seems hard to come by. If you ever get the chance check this one out, it's a rare find.

Idle Hands (1999)

Not Great, Not Bad...

[5/10 · 26 April 2001]

This isn't a great movie, but what makes it worth watching is two of the supporting cast members, Elden Ratcliff and the brilliantly hilarious Seth Green. These two guys made the film much funnier than any of the other characters, they had all the best comedy lines and delivered them hysterically. If not for them this film would have been a complete piece. Don't get me wrong, I like some of the other cast members in the film, but they just didn't have the same perfect set up lines that the two demonic guys in this flick had.

Cowboy Bebop (1998–1999)

Freakin' Gorgeous!

[14 April 2001]

This is just a brilliant series, it's flashy, fun, and deep. You won't get bored with all the glitz and glory 2 seconds into it, mainly because it has so much depth that the storyline and characters draw you in till you find yourself addicted to the experience. You shouldn't miss it, because there really is something for everyone here.

Girl (1998)

Music, Teen Angst, And Of Course Sex...

[8/10 · 8 February 2001]

This film is much more than it first appears. On the surface it looks like another stupid teen movie and perhaps in some ways it is, but it also is very true to life. Having spent time around musicians in the local music scene I have seen almost every level of depth and shallowness one could see and this film shows it true to life.

The fact that it shows it from the teenager Andrea'a point of view makes it even better. She has these moments when we peek into her thoughts, we see her in the shallow times mixed with being deeply profound, and how they switch back and forth.

The film's narrative perspective is probably its saving grace, it endears you to Andrea, showing you all of her inner and outer struggles. Definitely much more than it seems.

Mo' Money (1992)

Um..... Why?

[1/10 · 18 January 2001]

This is one of those movies where you are wondering what Hollywood executive read over this project and said, "Yeah, this is a sure hit, it'll make us millions..". It tried so hard to be funny, but all in all it really tried too hard. It was like that old uncle everyone has that tries to tell jokes on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and he's laughing away, while the rest of us are rolling our eyes and wondering when dessert will be ready. It's really a shame this wasn't a better movie, Damon Wayans did some funny stuff in IN LIVING COLOUR.

Oh well, I guess they can't all be big hits...

Defending Your Life (1991)

If this was real, I'm in soooo much trouble

[9/10 · 27 December 2000]

This film went on a magnificent concept. What if when you died you had to defend every action you made in life, every good step, and every embarrassing mistake. Would you qualify to move on to Heaven, or doomed

for another try on Earth until you get it right. Albert Brooks is ever the everyman trying to show that his meek existence meant something, and that he has learned from his past mistakes. Meryl Streep is also wonderful as the perfect heroine, she is flawless. As you view her life you almost wish you were her, or at the very least were friends with her.

It's a great movie, but overall I am glad it is just that. Mainly, because I would never make it into heaven. I just know that I would be looking at the time I helped my best friend shave his ex-girlfriend's cat. Yikes!!!!