randhuck Reviews

The Thing with Two Heads (1972)

I've got a few questions:

[23 April 2001]

Perhaps some guy who knows much more about medicine and general logic could help me:

First, how does the guy's body become much fatter with two heads? Another thing is, how in the world can you disable and elude 50 police cruisers when only 40 were chasing them, solely by going around in circles for half of the movie? How did the doctor's assistant who hired the black guy know he was qualified to help do a head operation that no one has done before, if he was merely a pharmacist for 5 years? Finally, can someone tell me how the media misses a baboon going into a convenience store, scaring all 40 people who can hardly fit in there?

This movie is good for the fact that it really raises some important thought-provoking questions.

Unbreakable (2000)

Not as good as The Sixth Sense, but still worth watching

[8/10 · 1 December 2000]

Unbreakable had a great acting and directing job, but the only thing I didn't like was that the ending didn't make you think, "I should have thought of that since the beginning". The Sixth Sense's whole theme made you say, "Gosh, I should have known!". Unbreakable did make me say, "That does make sense" but it didn't really link to the entire movie as much as The Sixth Sense.

Otherwise the movie is excellent, and if you have the chance I definitely recommend you see it.

The 6th Day (2000)

Good

[23 November 2000]

This is a plausible Sci-Fi film. Some people might say that some of the items (Internet refrigerator; holograms; sonic helicopters) are not realistic, but I would predict that this film is about 20 years in the future, and prototypes of most of these things have been completed 3 years ago. Arnold was very good, and it wasn't one of those kill em all type of movies. There are some shooting scenes, but it's not senseless violence. I would give this a 7 out of 10.

Final Destination (2000)

Good, but not great

[7/10 · 6 November 2000]

This movie has a great concept, nice plot, moderate acting, but the idea of death choosing the most gruesome and "coincidental" death is... not understandable. It also doesn't leave many thought provoking questions hanging for you at the end.

Spoiler ahead:

A class takes a jet out to Paris, but one of the passengers, Alex, views what is going to happen before the jet takes off, and that is the jet will have a horrendous explosion. When he wakes up to find that he just viewed "death's plan" he warns the people what is going to happen. Only one other take him seriously, another follows him to beat him up, 3 others moderate the fight, and a final one just follows them for no reason. The 6 people view their jet exploding from the terminal.

Now, the basic concept is that you don't get away with "cheating fate" and the students now have their "debt to pay" so to say. Death carefully chooses each survivor according to at which point they would have died in the plane. A survivor named Tod is first. Now, death can do many things to kill a person. Tod is in his upstairs bathroom, and death loosens a toilet valve, leaving a slippery leak creeping up on Tod in the bathroom. After a few "close calls" with a shaver and a plug with a radio, Tod finally manages to slip on the floor, go into the bathtub with a coil strangling him to death.

Another very carefully "planned" death is where one of the teachers finds herself with a glass of vodka turning on the TV. A sharp object slices her throat, and a spark from the TV ignites the leaking vodka that was trailing from her mug on her way from the kitchen to the living room. She takes the sharp object out of her neck, and follows the trail of ignited vodka to the kitchen where she tries to get a rag on a rack of kitchen knives. The rack falls down, and one knife goes into her stomach. Alex goes into the house to save the day, but nearly dies when the house explodes from the gas in the stove.

Now, if death can control gas stoves, toilet valves, knives, vodka, and a coil of wire, why can't death just use the simplest way, and just push Tod out the window, and have the teacher just drown herself in the kitchen sink, or something else?

That is the only flaw I found in the movie. Of course, if death had chosen the "easy way out" it woudn't be a "teen movie".

The ending was completely spoiled, and unnesseccary. I like movies that "leave me hanging with questions". I don't mean just end without telling me the climax, but don't baby feed me the aftermath.

The Sixth Sense (1999)

Superb! Best supernatural movie ever!

[10/10 · 4 September 2000]

Those who spoil the ending for people are the first to go to hell ;-)

Seriously, though, I thought this movie had all the suspense, twists, plot, and character development good movies need. It's hard to find a movie that has a perfect cast, too, and this one did it. You can really tell Shyamalan wasn't going to release this movie until it was done just right, line by line, gesture by gesture. This would have to be Bruce Willis at his best! I can tell in the coming years Osmunt will be one of the best actors of the new century (and possibly even the last)

Girl in Gold Boots (1968)

This is really the Hobgoblins' "night club" scene expanded

[19 August 2000]

Any of you remember the half hour "night club" scene in Mystery Science Theater, where the people were throwing granades all over the place? I would say this is the same scene, expanded overa 2 hour movie! It's just a spin-off of Hobgoblins!

Of course, I'm joking, but this movie really got bad. .05 out of 10

Noah's Ark (1999)

This must have Falwell tearing up his hair!

[19 August 2000]

Okay, this is the most unaccurate bible movie I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few. I was laughing pretty hard, too, and if MST3k ever comes back, I hope they MST this movie!

First of all, Lot, who will be one of Noah's sons, is out there with Noah in the sea, and somehow manages to find him in the vast ocean, and then he tries to pirate his ship. For you Bible illiterates, Lot was not born until AFTER the flood.

Second of all, God, who sounds like an old friend of mine, told Noah he was going to die to keep the evil out of his world for ever. Noah then does an incredibly cheasy dance that makes God laugh, and then he lets him go.

Third of all, God uses about 50 cliches, all of which were born within the last 25 years, not the last 64,000 years!

This movie, as I say in the subject, probably has Falwell and his followers in a rampage, ready to strangle the daylights out of the writers.

Before I go:

"Well, they found Noah's Ark. Did you hear this? Yup. It was found in a dumpster behind NBC studios!"

--Jay Leno

Bean (1997)

Stay in Great Britain, Mr. Bean, and do your TV shows.

[10/10 · 19 August 2000]

I loved Mr. Beans great TV shows, the best being "Mr. Bean is in Room 428", and "Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean", but when Mr. Bean goes to America it's as if we told him to be a bad actor. I chuckled a few times, but other than that I was not impressed. I would give this a 2 out of 10.

Hobgoblins (1988)

Best MST3K episode ever!

[1/10 · 19 August 2000]

My favorite quote from Crow was, when the car was going off the cliff, "The movie is so bad, even the car wants to get out of it!"

This had to be the funniest movie I have ever seen. It was seriously out there to scare you, which makes it even funnier! If it weren't for Mystery Science Theater I wouldn't be here today! :-P

Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

This is what Christian Rock is supposed to be!

[19 August 2000]

I've heard a few Christian rock songs, and they all seem to be so... well... lame. This one is extremely powerful, both instrumentals and acting.

As for the movie, it was fabulous, even with the guns and bell bottoms. Of course, the two best scenes were King Herod and The Trial, which are incredible encores.

This is what bible stories should be like!