Chris-999 Reviews

Speed (1994)

The right way to make an action film.

[9/10 · 16 September 2000]

Keannu Reeves and Sandra Bullock make the breakthrough performances of the century and Dennis Hopper is perfect as the villain in this action-packed movie.

Keannu Reeves is a SWAT Cop out to stop Dennis Hopper from blowing up a bus that will blow up if it drops below 50 MPH, driven by passenger Sandra Bullock.

This perfect action movie as all the action, all the humor, and all the acting an action movie should, starting its opening sequence with an elevator bomb, to the triggered bus and thats not the end of it.

True Romance (1993)

Excellent Crime Movie!

[9/10 · 9 September 2000]

Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette are perfect together in this Crime/Drama.

The two meet, instantly fall in love and get married. But things start to go down after an accidental murder and they wind up with a suitcase full of cockaine. They flee to Los Angeles and the whole thing leads to a violent, but excellent ending.

Good acting, good enough amount of violence and an entertaining story make this a must see.

Batman Forever (1995)

Better than the last, not as good as the first two.

[5/10 · 13 August 2000]

Val Kilmer is not bad as Batman/Bruce Wayne, but no match for Michael Keaton but much better than George Clooney. Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, and Chris O'Donnell are perfect as Two-Face, The Riddler, and Robin. Nicole Kidman is wickedly sexy as the psychologist who falls for both Batman and Bruce Wayne. The two villains, Two-Face and The Riddler plot to destroy Batman, but this time he has a partner, Robin, to help him. Not as good as the first two, but definately better than the last one. Good special effects and the villains naturally steal every scene they're in.

Basic Instinct (1992)

Not Bad Sex Thriller.

[7/10 · 11 August 2000]

Michael Douglas turns in his usual "Regular guy meets sexy woman has sex with her a few times and terrible things start to happen" role, but Sharon Stone makes a steamy breakthrough performance as Catherine Tramell. She is the prime suspect of killing her Rock-Star boyfriend with an ice pick the same way as she wrote in her latest novel. They question her(I think we all know what happens there), she takes a lie detector test, she passes. But now she's writing another novel about a detective who falls in love with a woman and she kills him. And as he starts to find out more about her past and she starts to find out about his past , he gradually falls for her(Who Wouldn't!). Then more murders mount up and he is determined to find out if she did it or not. Highly erotic,but still a pretty good thriller. Enough violence. Decent acting(especially by Beautiful, Seductive, Manipulative and winner of MTV Movie Award's "Most Desirable Female of 1993" as well as "Best Female Performance of 1993" Sharon Stone).

Batman & Robin (1997)

WARNING: If you like the other ones, DO NOT WATCH!!!!!!!!!!!

[1/10 · 1 August 2000]

Let's first start with the length. The movie was well over two hours and it definately didn't need to be. There were countless scenes that were completely unneccesary. WARNING SPOILER!! When Chris O'Donnell was chasing Alicia Silverstone(Batgirl)in a motorcycle chase and he discovered that she rides a motorcycle. So What!! The whole subplot about Alfred being sick was rediculous. It was perfectly clear that he was not going to die. He's a descent character why would they kill him(in case they make other Batman movies, which I hope they don't).END SPOILER!! Don't get me wrong, the other three were fine, but this was horrible.

Next are the characters. George Clooney was dull and boring as Bruce Wayne and Batman. He was no match for Val Kilmer, who was by the way no match for Michael Keaton. Arnold Schwarzenegger was a good character for Mr. Freeze. But this is withoout a doubt not his best work. Chris O'donnell is not as good in this one as in the last. In the last one he seemed much more ambitious as a Super Hero than in this one. Uma Thurman wasn't bad as Poison Ivy, but she can't really pass as a Hollywood villian. Alicia Silverstone seems absolutely Clueless as Batgirl. She was much better in previous films(not including Excess Baggage).

Finally the ending. It was not as intense and set in such a clever location as ANOTHER SPOILER! Batman(top of a church), Batman Returns(in then sewer), and Batman Forever(Two Faces' layer) END SPOILER!! There were no Surprises at all. All around it was horrible. Alicia Silverstone deserved her Golden Raspberry Award as Worst Supporting Actress and the film deserved every other one it was nominated for "INCLUDING BEST PICTURE"

Batman Returns (1992)

Definately a satisfactory sequel.

[8/10 · 31 July 2000]

While it might be much darker and nastier than the original and the others, it's still quite good. Michael Keaton is just as good the second time around as Batman/Bruce Wayne(he's later replaced by Val Kilmer and George Clooney) and Danny Devito and Michelle Pfeiffer(in a wickedly sexy role) are perfect as Penguin and Catwoman/Selina Kyle.

Michael Keaton returns as Batman/Bruce Wayne who once again can always save the day. Danny Devito is Penguin who was born deformed, dumped into the sewer as a child and raised by penguins. Michelle Pfeiffer is a regular secretary who is murdered by her boss and revived back to life by dozens of ally cats with eight lives remaining. Together they plot to destroy Batman. When they're not trying to do that Penguin wants to become the mayor of Gotham and Catwoman is determined to find out who Batman and eventually falls for Bruce Wayne. Excellent performances and visual effects may not top the first one, but is hard to top by the other two sequels.

Batman (1989)

A perfect adaption of the comic book series.

[9/10 · 31 July 2000]

Jack Nicholson, Michael Keaton, and Kim Basinger give over-the -top performances.

Jack Nicholson and Michael Keaton are perfectly cast as Joker and Batman. Any Hollywood actress could play Kim Basinger's role, but she does it quite well. Jack Nicholson falls into a batch of chemicals and turns into the Joker. It's Michael Keaton is Batman/Bruce Wayne to the rescue. Kim Basinger plays Batman/Bruce Wayne and Joker's love interest.

By far the best Batman movie of all four of the Batman movies. Perfect characters and a perfect story line in which Joker poisons beauty products.

Raising Arizona (1987)

Unbelievably funny comedy!!!!

[9/10 · 25 July 2000]

Nicholas Cage and Holly Hunter are perfect and outstandingly funny in this. I read that the role of Ed was speciffically written for Holly Hunter. Well Done.

Nicholas Cage is a con man and Holly Hunter is a police officer. They meet, fall in love, and get married. They want to have a child but she's infertile. They try to adopt, but he's an ex-con. So they decide to steal one from a rich couple with five babies thinking they won't notice. Then the rich man hires an axe murderer to find the baby and bring it back to him.

Hold on to your seats for those chasing seens!!!!!!

Jaws 3-D (1983)

FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE!!!!!!!!!!

[3/10 · 25 July 2000]

The shark looked totally fake, especially right before it crashed into the glass window under water. The film, characters, and dialogue were boring and uninteresting. But no matter how bad it got, I still liked the Under Water kindom idea and when the shark was swimming around it and scaring all the people. A particularly funny(that's right funny) part was when the shark trapped a group of people and they were all moaning and crying. Jaws was good. Jaws 2 was somewhere between horrible, painful movie and OK movie, but closer to horrible, painful movie, this was OK, as for Jaws 4 let's not even go there.

Jaws 2 (1978)

Dull at times.

[2/10 · 25 July 2000]

The one thing that dragged this film way down was that it was two hours and in between the scenes with the shark(which were pretty long) the movie was boring.

Sure some of the death scenes were a bit scary and the shark didnt look too fake there was something that this one didnt have that the first one had. What was it?????????? Oh yeah now I remember, it was the suspense and scariness in every death scene. It is inferior to the original without a doubt, but it still isnt that bad. No, it is pretty bad. If the original is your favorite movie of all time, if you loved it and havent seen this, DONT SEE THIS, or you will know real horror.

Sister, Sister (1994–1999)

So Annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[23 July 2000]

The two sisters are the most annoying people on TV(No sorry, full house beats this one by far). Still after the second season, them saying the same thing at the same got very annoying. Roger needs to find another girl to stalk. Lisa is funny at times. Ray is like Danny from Full House(enough said). Don't expect to have belly aching laughs, except when your laughing at it.

Family Matters (1989–1998)

Got lame after a while.

[22 July 2000]

The show started off pretty funny. But it started getting worse and worse every new season. Definately shouldn't have stayed on as long as it did. If you want to be entertained and laugh, watch the first five seasons, if you want to be bored and laugh at it, watch the rest of the seasons.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Suckiest people in peril in the water movie ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

[1/10 · 22 July 2000]

How this movie can even call itself a Jaws movie, given the original Jaws, is completely beyond me. Lorraine Gary is more dull in this than in the other 2 Jaws movies she was in. The shark looks completely fake. Personally I think that the character who played the son, Michael in the original Jaws did a better job in that than the Michael in this one did. The acting is bad all around. Half the characters(particularly Michael Caine who is a good actor) are completely wasted in this film. You'll spend more time laughing(especially the seans when Lorraine Gary is crying out more water than the Bahamas ocean water has) at this garbage than you will be screaming at it. The movie is a loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sister, Sister (1994–1999)

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!!!!!

[21 July 2000]

This show is really bad. The two sisters are annoying. It really started getting old when they said stuff at the same time. Ray is like the Bob Saget(Danny from the show Full House, another sucky show) of this show. I think I've said enough. Lisa is OK. She can be funny at times. The show is stupid and the sisters are SOOOOOOOOO annoying.

Full House (1987–1995)

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, watch this show!!!

[21 July 2000]

This show is the ultimate worst. It's very very very very very very very sucky. Why everybody likes this show is beyond me. Praise you who hate this show, curse you forever if you like it. WARNING: It's sappy and annoying from the first to last season, from the first minute of the show to the end credits. BELIEVE ME DON'T EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER watch this show, you will be sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Married... with Children (1987–1997)

Still the funniest show on TV.

[14 July 2000]

Married With Children has to be by far the funniest show ever. Everything Al says is funny. The fact that Peg does absolutely nothing to p**s Al off is funny. Kelly being the stupidest person on television is funny. Jefferson and Bud are the biggest losers, but still make me laugh. And the conversations and fights between Al and Marcy are comedy at it's best. If you dont watch this show WATCH IT! Weeknights on FOX at 10:00 and 10:30.

Drive Me Crazy (1999)

It just isn't a good movie.

[1/10 · 13 July 2000]

I didn't bother to see this movie in the theatre and I don't know why I bothered to get it on PPV. It was boring and dull and a rip off of She's All That. I actually found myself looking at other channels to see what else was on. Believe me DO NOT see this movie!!!!!!!!!!

Lake Placid (1999)

Rip-Off of every Jaws movie.

[5/10 · 13 July 2000]

The movie has many seens taken out of Jaws. The movie almost is Jaws minus the scariness and suspense. I would have given it a 1 but I gave it a 5. I gave it credit because no matter how bad it is, it does have countless funny lines in it, particularly by Oliver Platt and Brandon Gleeson. Watch this movie if you want to laugh, not if you want to be scared.

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

Excellently acted and written.

[9/10 · 13 July 2000]

Nicholas Cage and Elisabeth Shue are great together in this superb, but depressing drama.

Nicholas Cage plays an alcoholic who decides to go to Las Vegas to drink himself to death. While there he meets prostitute Elisabeth Shue, whom he soon falls in love with. He may just love her enough and she may love him enough to stop him from drinking himself to death.

It's definately as depressing as it sounds, but it's still wonderfully acted and is all around a very good movie. 9/10.

Jaws (1975)

Superbly suspenseful!

[10/10 · 13 July 2000]

Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, and Robert Shaw are all great in this very scary water movie.

The beginning of the movie freaked me out so bad when I was little, and that was just the beginning! The music and the movie are very scary. What's too bad about the movie is that it has had countless rip-offs (for example Deep Blue Sea and Lake Placid). Butt this one is by far the best. If you haven't seen this movie, SEE IT!

Fargo (1996)

Excellent!

[10/10 · 12 July 2000]

William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, and Steve Buscemi all give fine performances in this very black comedy.

William H. Macy hires two men to kidnap his wife so he can get the ransom from her father because his business is in trouble. Frances McDormand plays the pregnant cop who tries to solve the kidnapping.

First rate performances by all. Excellent cinematography. 10/10.

Network (1976)

The acting is very believable.

[10/10 · 12 July 2000]

Peter Finch, Faye Dunaway, and William are all excellent in this comedy/drama about a TV Network

Peter Finch plays a middle-aged man who gets fired from his job at a Network. He has a breakdown on the air and Faye Dunaway tries to cash in on it by giving him his own show to boost up the network's ratings.

A perfect 10! Definately recommended.

Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

Excellent!

[10/10 · 10 July 2000]

Warren Beatty and Faye Dunawaw are perfect as Bonnie and Clyde.

Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway meet on tyhe street, fall in love and instantly start robbing banks, accompanied by Michael J. Pollard, Gene Hackman, and Estelle Parsons.

My opinion is this is great. The acting and the script are excelent. Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway should have won Best Actor Osscar and Best Actress Oscar. 10/10

American Pie (1999)

And I thought There's Something About Mary was sick!

[9/10 · 29 June 2000]

This movie is very very crude but very very funny.

Its about four high school seniors who make a pact to have sex before they graduate high school and go off to college. They go to all sorts of desperate measures.

If you liked theres something about mary youll love this.

The Landlady (1998)

Talia Shire is not bad as a psycho.

[4/10 · 29 June 2000]

The script is pretty weak and has already been seen before, but Talia Shire is good.

Talia Shire is a housewife who inherits an apartment building. She becomes fixated on one of her tenants. But he already has a girlfriend. She will go to desperate measures to get him, including murder.

The acting is OK,however Talia Shire is even funny at times as a PSYCHO LANDLADY!