I havent seen this many perfectly good jokes fail to land since VIBES. Why? Bad chemistry, poor timing? Cast is fine, script is good, but by fifteen minutes in i thought so many movies are made but not released - WHY NOT THIS? Ah well, it looked nice.
Reviews
12 Reviews
Men
(2022)
Not just effective but illuminating
21 May 2022
I feel about Men the same way I did about Jordan Peele's Get Out - it's a horror movie that keys into fears that it would never occur to me to have. (I am an older white male.) Once you put yourself in the mindset of the protagonist, here a woman who has recently lost her husband under complicated circumstances, you can see that everything weird that happens BELONGS in the movie.
If you're like me you might miss that, and I feel fortunate that I didn't because I could use the perspective.
Besides all that, it's a tour-de-force for utility player Rory Kinnear, who is great in everything he does; and Alex Garland does a fantastic job of making us alert enough in the first thirty minutes so that we can spot the details later on. It's a movie that has to teach you how to watch it.
You probably have to be a little tired of less challenging films to really appreciate it though.
If you're like me you might miss that, and I feel fortunate that I didn't because I could use the perspective.
Besides all that, it's a tour-de-force for utility player Rory Kinnear, who is great in everything he does; and Alex Garland does a fantastic job of making us alert enough in the first thirty minutes so that we can spot the details later on. It's a movie that has to teach you how to watch it.
You probably have to be a little tired of less challenging films to really appreciate it though.
It's The Robinson Family We Deserve
21 April 2018
All ten episodes have been a kind of tightrope walk, threatening any time to fall into the dumb conventions of the original series. And they've managed to mostly avoid being campy or using lazy plotting. The writers have taken care to put a ticking clock and ratchet the tension and keep the twists coming; the characters are complicated enough to have real motivations and be believable. ESPECIALLY DOCTOR SMITH. The the family in the original series would sensibly have thrown that guy off the ship by episode three for their own survival. Here they are at least smart enough to know she's very, very dangerous and to keep her in check.
By the way, special kudos to Parker Posey who manages to make Smith funny and terrifying at the same time. And to her credit, more terrifying than funny.
My only complaint with this compulsively watchable 10 hours of TV is the score is a little intrusive now and then, and they might have been a little too ruthless with those ticking clocks and twists. Now and then maybe those poor humans could catch a break maybe? And also, the technology (and brand names!) seem a little out of place; this is a future with interstellar travel, maybe by then Oreo would have updated their logos or packaging or something?
You could say the whole thing is unnecessary, and instead of rebooting an embarrassing old TV show just come up with a similar new one. I say, let's make things right. Looking forward to the next season.
By the way, special kudos to Parker Posey who manages to make Smith funny and terrifying at the same time. And to her credit, more terrifying than funny.
My only complaint with this compulsively watchable 10 hours of TV is the score is a little intrusive now and then, and they might have been a little too ruthless with those ticking clocks and twists. Now and then maybe those poor humans could catch a break maybe? And also, the technology (and brand names!) seem a little out of place; this is a future with interstellar travel, maybe by then Oreo would have updated their logos or packaging or something?
You could say the whole thing is unnecessary, and instead of rebooting an embarrassing old TV show just come up with a similar new one. I say, let's make things right. Looking forward to the next season.
Kemper
(2008 Video)
A rare treat for bad movie fans
24 November 2015
I grew up in Santa Cruz when Kemper was doing his terrible work, and so I have some familiarity with the gory details of this story. I mean, I never researched it but one picks things up from local news and talk around town. And without giving anything away, you can be sure that NOTHING in this movie is based on anything that happened in real life. In fact, I'm almost certain that they took an existing serial killer screen play and did a search and replace, swapping out "Mike Killington" with "Ed Kemper."
The locations don't look like Santa Cruz. The characters don't talk like humans. The cars are incorrect cars. The cel phones are... wait THERE WERE NO CEL PHONES IN THE EARLY SEVENTIES. Seriously, if there was any detail that could have been authentic, they found a way to make the exact opposite choice. It's kind of a marvel to see a movie with literally no correct decisions behind it. How does a thing like that happen?
Even if you never heard of Kemper you can appreciate this as a bad movie on its own terms. The acting is wooden and one-dimensional, the music is mostly synths, everyone is too pretty, the plot twists are like straight road through the midwest on a high-visibility day.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you have the attention span for stuff like this, it's the best time you'll ever have.
The locations don't look like Santa Cruz. The characters don't talk like humans. The cars are incorrect cars. The cel phones are... wait THERE WERE NO CEL PHONES IN THE EARLY SEVENTIES. Seriously, if there was any detail that could have been authentic, they found a way to make the exact opposite choice. It's kind of a marvel to see a movie with literally no correct decisions behind it. How does a thing like that happen?
Even if you never heard of Kemper you can appreciate this as a bad movie on its own terms. The acting is wooden and one-dimensional, the music is mostly synths, everyone is too pretty, the plot twists are like straight road through the midwest on a high-visibility day.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you have the attention span for stuff like this, it's the best time you'll ever have.
Frank
(II) (2014)
There is nothing about this movie that I don't love
13 November 2014
I was almost completely unaware of Frank Sidebottom until I heard he had passed away, thanks to the twitter feeds of certain other British icons that I follow. So I came to this movie with almost no preconceptions. And even those were knocked outta place within the first ten minutes, because the film is set in the present day and Sidebottom found his greatest fame in the eighties.
I think they wisely chose to make the story not so much about Frank himself, but on someone who is influenced by him. You need a normal character's eyes to truly appreciate this world. The cast is uniformly excellent -- they all fit into their roles like snug gloves. And Fassbender is such a chameleon that he can even become a character without a face of his own.
Anyway, it's a brilliant meditation about art and fame and the kinds of people who are drawn to both, and it provokes thought without dragging it out of you. It deserves to be an unknown cult classic, just like Frank himself.
I think they wisely chose to make the story not so much about Frank himself, but on someone who is influenced by him. You need a normal character's eyes to truly appreciate this world. The cast is uniformly excellent -- they all fit into their roles like snug gloves. And Fassbender is such a chameleon that he can even become a character without a face of his own.
Anyway, it's a brilliant meditation about art and fame and the kinds of people who are drawn to both, and it provokes thought without dragging it out of you. It deserves to be an unknown cult classic, just like Frank himself.
Siren of Bagdad
(1953)
Nonsense, but self-aware nonsense
27 July 2014
It's a minor film indeed Paul Henreid, a boring lead But Hans Conried? I'd watch him read!
This is the kind of movie that happens if you are running an assembly line. Sooner or later everybody gets a little slap-happy and and stops taking the enterprise seriously. The story, and I suppose there is one, takes place in that fuzzy movie middle-east, the one that never existed. It clearly is set before the onset of electricity but after the invention of brightly colored fabric dyes.
Henreid plays a womanizing, swashbuckling magician with a girl in every, uh dune. This is the light-hearted breezy Paul Henreid. If anything, it shows he had a wider range than you thought. His pal/companion/assistant/whipping boy is the glorious and goony Hans Conreid. Somehow bandits "steal" all Henreid's dancing girls, and in getting them back he has to fight a corrupt Caliph and his evil assistant. The Caliph, incidentally, is dubbed by voice powerhouse Paul Frees. Can't imagine why but it's great to hear him.
Given this tired setup it's not too surprising that the enterprise just goes over-the-top goofy. They throw in film in-jokes, anachronisms, and magic tricks that would be more appropriate in a Las Vegas showroom. You're a little disappointed that Hope and Crosby don't wander in for a cameo, but they'd have to cross studio lines to do it.
I'll put it this way. If you watch too many old movies, it's pretty fun. If you never seen an old movie, this might put you off them forever.
This is the kind of movie that happens if you are running an assembly line. Sooner or later everybody gets a little slap-happy and and stops taking the enterprise seriously. The story, and I suppose there is one, takes place in that fuzzy movie middle-east, the one that never existed. It clearly is set before the onset of electricity but after the invention of brightly colored fabric dyes.
Henreid plays a womanizing, swashbuckling magician with a girl in every, uh dune. This is the light-hearted breezy Paul Henreid. If anything, it shows he had a wider range than you thought. His pal/companion/assistant/whipping boy is the glorious and goony Hans Conreid. Somehow bandits "steal" all Henreid's dancing girls, and in getting them back he has to fight a corrupt Caliph and his evil assistant. The Caliph, incidentally, is dubbed by voice powerhouse Paul Frees. Can't imagine why but it's great to hear him.
Given this tired setup it's not too surprising that the enterprise just goes over-the-top goofy. They throw in film in-jokes, anachronisms, and magic tricks that would be more appropriate in a Las Vegas showroom. You're a little disappointed that Hope and Crosby don't wander in for a cameo, but they'd have to cross studio lines to do it.
I'll put it this way. If you watch too many old movies, it's pretty fun. If you never seen an old movie, this might put you off them forever.
More Movie Than Is Necessary
24 May 2007
Gorgeously shot, great dialog, wonderful acting... but I have no idea what happened. This is 50 minutes of story crammed into 3 hours of movie. Seriously. Usually I'll check the spoiler box up there but I couldn't ruin this story for you if I wanted to. I DO know that there isn't enough Johnny Depp and easily too much of everything else by at least half. It's as if Verbinski and his people had gone over every scene and figured out how to complicate and over-blow it. That kind of stuff worked in the first two because they confined themselves more to stage-bound set pieces like that sword fight in the waterwheel, but since they felt that had to top themselves this time there was no where to go but beyond physical reality. (By the way, that sword fight appears quaint next to the big one here. The swamp sorceress from the end of part 2 though? Still here, and still smokin' hot. Anyway, not enough charm and too much noise for my taste, but quite accomplished in movie- movie terms.
Dementia
(1955)
Hmmmmmm....innnnnnnnteresting
20 November 2005
Things to love about it:
It's black and white, and creepy. It's mostly about sex. It takes place ENTIRELY in the mind of the main character. No dialog. It features a great chicken-eating scene - perhaps it influenced Tom Jones some eight years later. It's short. Nice atmospheric score. It features sporadic narration by Ed McMahon.
Things to dislike: Unattractive actors pretty much across the board. Seems like three hours due to poor pacing. Largely incomprehensible, because it takes place in the lead character's mind. It features sporadic narration by Ed McMahon.
And this is not the jocular Ed you know from the Tonight Show and Star Search. This is a crazily over the top, foaming-at-the-mouth out-of-control Ed. There are two versions of this movie (the other one is called Dementia) and this one was an attempt to salvage a bad investment by making it all easier to understand. Doesn't work. Or rather it works because it's easier to understand, but the narration is crap. It's kind of like having a skilled navigator on a lifeboat who insists on jumping up and down like a maniac - on one hand useful, on the other he's throwing the whole thing out of balance.
It's black and white, and creepy. It's mostly about sex. It takes place ENTIRELY in the mind of the main character. No dialog. It features a great chicken-eating scene - perhaps it influenced Tom Jones some eight years later. It's short. Nice atmospheric score. It features sporadic narration by Ed McMahon.
Things to dislike: Unattractive actors pretty much across the board. Seems like three hours due to poor pacing. Largely incomprehensible, because it takes place in the lead character's mind. It features sporadic narration by Ed McMahon.
And this is not the jocular Ed you know from the Tonight Show and Star Search. This is a crazily over the top, foaming-at-the-mouth out-of-control Ed. There are two versions of this movie (the other one is called Dementia) and this one was an attempt to salvage a bad investment by making it all easier to understand. Doesn't work. Or rather it works because it's easier to understand, but the narration is crap. It's kind of like having a skilled navigator on a lifeboat who insists on jumping up and down like a maniac - on one hand useful, on the other he's throwing the whole thing out of balance.
Where the Truth Lies
(2005)
Atom Egoyan with the wrong material
15 October 2005
As it happens I picked up the book a month ago and was just about finished when I heard that Atom Egoyan had directed a movie based on it. The book has a very light tone, a kind of cynical brittle Dorothy Parker-esquire narrative voice, and it took me days to figure out what attracted Egoyan to the material. Finally I realized it's about the effect of a traumatic event from the past and the way it shapes characters in the present. Exotica was about that, so was The Sweet Hereafter. And I loved those movies.
The problem is, Egoyan replaces the cynicism with real emotion, genuine sincerity. It's like watching someone slip on a banana peel, only they break their shin and the bone pokes out through the flesh, and the person is howling in agony. Like Lanny Morris shouts towards the end of the movie, "it's not funny!" I'm avoiding spoilers here so I can't tell you what Morris is referring to, but in that context, the line IS funny.
The tone problem is about all I didn't like. Otherwise the casting was just perfect - Colin Firth playing Dean Martin as Peter Lawford was a master stroke. And Kevin Bacon proves again that he can do anything. The period detail (it takes place in the seventies with flashbacks to the early sixties) is impeccable. Alison Lohman - well, she was really bad as the character from the book, but as the revised movie character she did a fine job. And everyone looks great naked.
Here's something that's funny but didn't make it into the movie. The flashbacks center around a 36 hour telethon in 1961 for polio. Of course polio had been cured several years earlier, so the yearly event is now mostly a vehicle for Collins and Morris to plug movies. That's the kind of thing that would have made this movie work for me.
The problem is, Egoyan replaces the cynicism with real emotion, genuine sincerity. It's like watching someone slip on a banana peel, only they break their shin and the bone pokes out through the flesh, and the person is howling in agony. Like Lanny Morris shouts towards the end of the movie, "it's not funny!" I'm avoiding spoilers here so I can't tell you what Morris is referring to, but in that context, the line IS funny.
The tone problem is about all I didn't like. Otherwise the casting was just perfect - Colin Firth playing Dean Martin as Peter Lawford was a master stroke. And Kevin Bacon proves again that he can do anything. The period detail (it takes place in the seventies with flashbacks to the early sixties) is impeccable. Alison Lohman - well, she was really bad as the character from the book, but as the revised movie character she did a fine job. And everyone looks great naked.
Here's something that's funny but didn't make it into the movie. The flashbacks center around a 36 hour telethon in 1961 for polio. Of course polio had been cured several years earlier, so the yearly event is now mostly a vehicle for Collins and Morris to plug movies. That's the kind of thing that would have made this movie work for me.
Invasion from Inner Earth
(1974)
Yes, it is the worst film ever made
7 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Unfortunately is is often overlooked in the competition because it's not as much fun to watch as MANOS or PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE but honest, believe me, you won't fail to be disappointed if you watch this. From an alien presence which is, unapologetically, a red flashlight beam sliding across the wall, to the end of the entire world told from the point of view of a single remote cabin in the Canadian woods, to the SPACE ODDESSEY-influenced ending involving a non-sequiter image of naked children frolicking in a meadow, this movie will rock your world. And possibly, tip it over.
Plus there is the amazing disregard of normal attention spans - this plays like an editor's worst nightmare. You can learn a lot about movie-making from watching this movie closely. I think you know what I mean.
Plus there is the amazing disregard of normal attention spans - this plays like an editor's worst nightmare. You can learn a lot about movie-making from watching this movie closely. I think you know what I mean.
Ironbound
(1994)
Morose, bleak
4 November 2000
A 20-minute short about a boy who finds an old sailor and an ironbound submarine in a junkyard, underscored by songs from Joe Jackson's NIGHT MUSIC. An interesting curiosity but not a whole lotta fun and it seems to come out of nowhere with its concept. The album is about insomnia.
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