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Reviews
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Unfortunately this is just some great CGI
There is no story or character development, in fact we learn little about any of the characters.
There's just some good CGI.
But in a world where anything can happen, don't the characters need to stick to a few rules?
It was a turn-off for me after the first hour, and even that was too long.
Spooks: Spiders (2003)
This episode made me want to throw things at the screen
Definitely the worst episode of the early series of Spooks.
A teenage 'hacker' can supposedly gain access to the MI5 computer 'inner sanctum' from his bedroom. This episode includes all the worst clichés of computer hacking in film & TV. Meaningless graphics pop up on people's screens with just a few keystrokes from him and apparently MI5 have all the lights in the building flash when someone attacks their network firewall...
Did no one look at the script and say "this is just silly"? The human drama elements of the script were OK, and there was a bit of fun to be had with Zoe going undercover as a school teacher, but it was all completely ruined with the over-the-top computer aspects.
Deep Impact (1998)
Dull Impact
How could the scriptwriters and director get it so wrong? To take a genuinely possible and terrifying threat and turn it into something like a News 24 broadcast where the anchors have no clue and rely on meaningless babble to fill their airtime.
To be fair, there are a few impressive effects when a comet actually hits the Earth but this movie is largely populated by characters we don't care about chewing the scenery with heavy dialogue.
Morgan Freeman, as always, can be relied upon to give a rock solid performance as the President (and ends up filling in for a lot of missing cgi at the end) but everyone else gets lost in a cardboard mishmash of ersatz emotions.
Tu£sday (2008)
A wasted opportunity
The core idea of the script has a good and fairly original idea, namely that multiple people attempt to rob the same bank at the same time.
Unfortunately, the writer directed his own script and quite simply failed to tell the story in a coherent fashion on the screen. There is nothing particularly to fault about the acting (indeed there's a good cast) or technical aspects of the film, however the jumping back and forwards in the timeline just doesn't work right. Some scenes are repeated with slight variations, unfortunately the variations are so slight that it feels like you're suddenly watching a "+1" TV channel. The director also fails to make us care about (and therefore root for) a particular set of protagonists. The overall feeling at the end of the film is one of 'so what?'.
I suspect had the writer allowed someone else to direct his script we might have seen a much, much better movie.
The Fountain (2006)
An incoherent mess
I'll be honest, I didn't watch this film all the way through, it was on Film4 tonight and I turned it off around the halfway point.
If I hadn't already read a synopsis in the TV guide I wouldn't have had a clue what was going on. There is, it is true, some good cinematography, but the film abandons any attempt at a traditional narrative.
I suppose if you enjoy the randomness of images in a dream you might just enjoy this however I can't help feeling that a lot of the positive comments on here are a result of "emperor's new clothes" syndrome regarding the director
The Italian Job (2003)
Entertaining movie, shame about the title!
I was put off seeing this in the cinema when it came out as I'm a great fan of the Michael Caine original and had no wish to see a hollywoodised remake. However I caught it on TV for the first time tonight and was pleasantly surprised. It isn't really a remake at all, just borrows some character names and a couple of plot ideas, the minis being used as getaway cars through a computer induced traffic jam being the main one.
Quite frankly I think some Hollywood exec or five messed up using The Italian Job title. To my mind they'd have done much better to call it something like 'Another Italian Job', used different character names and then have the central character get the idea for the getaway because he's a movie buff and saw the original film!
Titanic (1997)
Enduring masterpiece
I bought a new laptop this week. Busy configuring all the software I pulled down a DVD from my collection to check out the movie player program. The DVD that I happened to grab was Titanic.
Some three hours plus later, instead of just testing the software, I'd watched the whole movie again. I'd cheered (inwardly) when Rose spat in Cal's face and cried (openly) in all the same places as I had when I'd first seen it 10 years ago on the big screen.
It's not perfect of course, nothing's perfect. Bill Paxton is hopelessly wooden, the odd line of dialogue grates terribly, but as a classic piece of storytelling it succeeds magnificently.
Red Ball Express (1952)
Good subject, bad execution
The temptation is to be generous to this film because of it's central theme. However in terms of pure film making it is just bad, bad, bad. The plot meanders and the acting is mediocre to downright wooden. I'm writing this as I'm watching it, and to be honest I think I've just been too kind about the acting...
There is a strange thing about WWII films in black and white, it makes the events seem more distant, more unreal. Unfortunately it often seems to excuse bad film making.
Wooden acting!
I don't understand this minimum of 10 lines... forces me to pad...
Sons of the Sea (1939)
Fascinating to see 1930s England in colour
I stumbled across this film while flicking through the TV channels this morning, the BBC were giving it an airing on BBC2. I'll be honest I was about to move on as the acting struck me as pretty dreadful when the scene changed to an outdoor shot of Portsmouth like I'd never seen it before. Period cars in new condition and vibrant colour!
I'd thought from the indoor scene that first on that this was some 1950s film and was shocked to discover that it was a colour film made in 1939! Looked up the details on the IMDb here and was fascinated to learn about the film's unique history.
It's a shame that the story and the acting is not better, but for curiosity value alone this film is worth digging out. The colour has lasted very well and it provides an invaluable record of an England that no longer exists.
The Insider (1999)
Good subject, poor telling
The Insider has an excellent subject to work with, but somehow it all gets a bit lost as Michael Mann tries to impress with his command of the camera. Al Pacino's histrionics in certain scenes are just so, well, 'Al Pacino' that the character he is supposed to be playing gets submersed. The film feels flabby and would have benefited by losing at least half an hour. Russell Crowe however is outstanding as Dr. Wigand. Although playing a man about 20 years older than his real age you would never guess from his performance. Despite my disappointment with the film as a whole I would still advocate at least one viewing, if simply to be reminded of the lengths corporate business will go in the name of profit.