Change Your Image
pedro1172
Reviews
The Amityville Horror (2005)
"For God's Sake Stay Away!"
I saw a preview screening of this last night, and most of my feelings for this film have been pretty accurately described by "dharv" in their review below. This film is terrible, and my two friends and I all couldn't wait for it to end. Then again, we're all in our 30s so we're exactly twice the age of the intended audience for this attempt at horror.
Put "The Ring" together with "The Shining" in a blender and you get this film, minus the truly striking visuals. Ryan Reynolds is there show off his non-70's hair and impressive abs; his character is unlikable from the very start and almost IMMEDIATELY upon moving into the house begins to act like he's possessed. The minute Melissa George has to start emoting her acting ability goes out the window (she's from the "if you're upset rub your arm" school of acting). The kids are passable, and Phillip Baker Hall is wasted as the priest. As for the woman who plays the babysitter, the less said the better.
Saying this film is better than the original is like comparing apples to oranges. While the 1979 version has not dated well, it at least had a slow build and true atmosphere, neither of which are accomplished here. This film is more concerned with the typical specter suddenly appearing behind someone/jump cuts/shaking camera work like in every other contemporary horror film that tries to look like a Nine Inch Nails video. If you get bored, start counting how many times lightning strikes in the film, how many times they show the boathouse doors moving back and forth or how many times the director closes up on the "spooky" air vent. I'm surprised I didn't leave the theater with grill marks on my face.
The Funhouse (1981)
fans of the movie won't like this one...
Well...I logged on hoping to find a review of this movie that felt like I did, and it just wasn't there. The vast majority of the reviewers of this film seem to have fond memories of being scared by it when they were younger. Never having seen it before might explain why I found the film so boring and unoriginal. The opening scene, described by many as a homage to "Halloween" and "Psycho", felt more like a ripoff to me; plus I felt bad for poor Elizabeth Berridge (better known as Mozart's wife in "Amadeus") who had to bare her breasts within the first 4 minutes of the film, for no other reason than to fulfill the gratuitous boob shot that was required of so many films in this genre. The film itself takes much too long to get going...nothing happens (and I mean NOTHING) within the first hour. By the time deaths finally began to occur I really didn't care. The look of the film is great, the score is interesting (without borrowing a lot from other films), and the killer is interesting as well, but I just couldn't get past one simple fact: for a travelling carnival, the funhouse itself is huge, consists of multiple floors and most obviously could never be packed up an d moved to a neighbouring town by the one man who runs it. It looks great Tobe, but a basement on a carnival ride? Enter at your own risk.