ZR RIFLE Reviews

Cruise Ship Killers (2020– )

60 minute shows with 20 minutes of real content

[1 May 2020]

This is a low-budge crime show where they find an old story and revive it using bad actors, slow motion and replaying scenes almost to the point you see it in your sleep. With a few exceptions, names, places and even the time period are changed to the point it's almost completely unrelated to the actual account. Maybe to avoid paying royalty or legal fees? Who really knows. Even much of the so-called friends and family interviewed are just actors (I've recognized some of these faces from other shows). As mentioned, the few exceptions (and the best episodes) are the ones that document the real people involved with their true names, times, locations, etc. (such as the Amy Lynn Bradley episode). A lot of these stories can be found on sites such as the Cruise Ship Deaths website.

Gorp (1980)

Total waste of celluloid

[28 March 2016]

I remember seeing this when it first came out in 1980 when I was around 16. It was torture sitting through the whole movie (even as a teen), and couldn't believe how bad this was and why a studio would waste so much time and money into total garbage as this. The only memories I have of the film are a young Dennis Quaid dressed as a GI driving some tank, exploding poop, and 1st grade humor from beginning to end (a precursor of today's comedy, perhaps?). Just saw it's available on DVD and blu-ray(!) on Amazon. Hard to believe they'd put this on disc when there are so many other films much more worthy. But again, much of today's comedy is pretty much on this level, so I can understand. $$ for the studio.

The Spy Next Door (2010)

Not a Jackie Chan fan but enjoyed it

[17 January 2010]

Before taking the kids to see this, I read through some quick reviews online (such as RogerEbert.com, etc.), and groaned thinking about the 90 minutes or so I'd have to sit watching this...not to mention the annoying ads stuffed down your throat before the trailers even start.

You know, I'm not going to spend time trying to justify why I liked it, laughed at the corny scenes and dialog, slapstick, etc. - but the bottom line is I/we enjoyed it - despite it being a Chan film which usually I'll pass on. How refreshing not to get any propaganda thrown in your face, political innuendos/viewpoints - whatever, which unfortunately you have to bear in even many kids & 'family' films being pumped out these days ... just a basic family comedy which accomplishes its purpose - to simply entertain and nothing else. What's wrong with that, Mr. Ebert? I think you need to stay away from kids' films. Anyone?

So if you decide to see it, make your own judgment. The negative reviews I read before seeing it prepared me to expect the worst....which in turn actually helped it to be a quite a pleasant surprise. Go figure. So far I find it amusing how some of the reviewers on here spent so much time writing in detail how awful the film is, spending the time, space, and effort into dissecting & critiquing it as though it were the latest Coppola or Scorsese project. Who are they writing to? Those expecting a modern cinematic classic (via Jackie Chan) bringing them to standing applause ... or to parents like myself taking their kids out to have a little fun? Right! LOL.

Hoodwinked! (2005)

Eat your heart out Disney and Dreamworks

[28 January 2006]

This is one of the best, if not THE best, animated film to come out in a long, long time. The writing, animation (very good despite what some 'critics' say), and voice talent was all terrific. The critic for IMDb, Mark Englehart, apparently doesn't like fresh, new ideas with good scripts. Perhaps he and other PC-loving folk prefer the usual garbage being produced by Disney and Dreamworks that make you so nauseated just watching the previews you wanna just get up and leave until they're over.

This film was so funny and unconventional, mostly the adults were laughing in the theater, more so than the kids, yet both enjoyed it. Thank goodness there are some independent film makers and writers out there that can put the big boys to shame. Good to see they're not out just for making the bucks, but to entertain. And entertain it does. From beginning to end. Great film.

Hell in the Pacific (1968)

Great Saturday afternoon flick...

[27 May 2004]

...or any afternoon for that matter. Both actors are terrific in this one, even with almost no dialogue. Highly recommended. One reviewer mistakenly claims the Japanese soldier looks at grisly photos of Hiroshima and Nagasaki from a stack of old newspapers. He (the reviewer) then uses that to back up his incorrect and distorted world viewpoint as well. Just as well.

The Japanese solder actually looks at photos of his dead military comrades while leafing thru a copy of LIFE magazine. That's what triggered his anger. This was during the war ....not after.

The new DVD just released has an alternate ending included. Interesting....very interesting. But I'm glad they chose the original one included in the movie. Makes much more of an impact.

Dad... Can I Borrow the Car? (1970 TV Movie)

An old forgotten Disney classic.

[10 November 2003]

Watching this film again (after I don't know how many years) reminds me of the spontaneous comedy the Disney crew used to produce, whether live action or animation. The film moves at a non-stop & unpredictable pace - it's like taking a quick joyride for 45 minutes. Hasn't lost it's freshness after all these years. Sure it's dated in some respects (clothing, styles, etc), but the presentation & storyline itself is timeless. The spot with the used car dealer never gets old, and is only a small sample of how much fun this film is. Watching the old custom hot rods brings back flashbacks of a time that seemed to have no limits or restrictions on car-muscle mania. I was fortunate enough to find an old (but mint) copy on Ebay, and don't regret it a bit. Hats off to director Ward Kimball, writer Ted Berman, and narrator Kurt Russell.

Duel (1971 TV Movie)

One of Spielberg's first and BEST

[11 August 2003]

Timeless classic that never gets old, or ages. First saw it on prime time TV in 1971, and it's been in my memory ever since. Was fortunate enough to get the DVD that was just released, and now I see it's noe being offered anymore! Could it be that they made a limited amount, shipped them out, ant that's it?? If so, I've got my hands on a gold mine, and if you have a copy, you do too! Again, one of Spielberg's first and best.

Scavenger Hunt (1979)

One of the worst movies ever made - period.

[24 April 2003]

Saw this in the theater at a sneak preview, and even after all these years, I recall it was one of the most awful movies I've ever seen. It's one of those films that say, "Hey, we did this gag or told this joke - so you're supposed to laugh." The only person who constantly laughed in the theater was this huge, obese lady sitting by herself eating a 10-gallon bucket of popcorn. At least someone enjoyed it.

A total ripoff of Stanley Kramer's "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." Watch that instead.

Take my advice: don't waste 2 hours of your life sitting through this #$@%!.

Auto Focus (2002)

Maybe should've been an HBO special instead

[30 October 2002]

Just checked out this picture last nite at one of the only (actually THE only) theater playing it in town. I must say, whether a totally accurate depiction of Crane or not, it certainly displays a sad, dark, decent of one man's life into the sick world of porn and sexual addiction. In Crane's case it eventually cost him his life. What a sad, tragic way to go. And what a legacy to leave behind. If in fact Crane was trying to break out of that `scene' near the end of his life (and one hopes he really was), he just waited too late. After so many years of that, it finally caught up with him.

I think rather than degrading and defaming Crane (Crane did that by himself), it shows what one had (a family, a career) and threw it all down the drain. He and Carpenter (Dafoe) were dependent on each other to fulfill their sexual fantasies and addiction, and it seems that that was the only purpose for them being together. Why else would Crane hang out with a creep like John Carpenter? Throughout the whole film, you keep asking yourself `Why is he even associating with this guy?' The sad, serious music in the background helps one feel for Crane, as his life gets deeper and deeper into darkness.

Personally, I think Dafoe did a convincing job of portraying a man out of control, with almost no real personality of his own. More or less a leech. When that leech saw his life source (Crane) was about to be cut off, he took the initiative and killed it before it had a chance to go it's own way. As far as Kinnear, his performance was believable to an extent, except he seemed to youthful and `carefree' at times to convince us that the real Bob Crane was that two-dimensional. I think the role of Richard Dawson was miscast, looked like a guy about half his age. Kurt Fuller as Werner Klemperer (Klink) was perfect, could've been his twin brother.

Bottom line -- recommended.

*As a personal note, I think it's a disgrace that one of his sons (Robert Scott Crane) is offering public access (for a fee of course) on the Internet to view the pornographic videos of his late father. Somehow, I don't think the late Bob Crane would be too proud of that.

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)

Quite entertaining for adults too

[10 October 2002]

Much better than previews depict it, and MUCH better than most of Disney's attempts at comedy. This one works, enjoyment for both the kids and adults, and the special effects are very impressive as well. Rent it first and judge for yourself....

The Gumball Rally (1976)

Why isn't this on DVD?

[9 September 2002]

After watching this again (after over 25 years), it's better than I remembered....alot better. Blows away Canonball Run and all the other copy-cat movies - the stunts and gags are both spontaneous and carefully pulled off. If you like the hot-rod/racing flicks, this is one to add to your collection. Only question/complaint I have is, why isn't this out on DVD? If Canonball Run (half as funny in my opinion) is out on DVD, why isn't this one? Only because Canonball has a star-studded cast? Not that Gumball is lacking in entertainters, but c'mon.....this one deserves to be on DVD, and besides, the VHS picture quality is quite poor. Still doesn't rob from the fun, though....

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Life is too short for movies like this

[23 August 2002]

Just taking the time to comment on this movie is questionable, but all I'll say is this: Don't rent it, let alone buy it! You'll be sorry.

This is a great flick to watch with a girlfriend or whatever that you're trying to get out of your life. If this doesn't do the trick, then the only other solution is to hire a hit man.

Les Miserables (1978 TV Movie)

Still moving after all these years....

[19 April 2002]

I saw this when it was originally telecast in the late 70s on TV as an Hallmark special presentation, and I never forgot it. What a relief to find it's available on video. However, I'm disappointed that the available VHS version has been cut down to 2 hours – the original telecast on TV divided it into 2 showings (2 consecutive evenings), about 3 hours apiece, if I remember right. Not including commercials, I would estimate the original (uncut) version was about 4-5 hours. So, in the VHS version, the story moves VERY fast to squeeze it into 2 hours. Still great to watch, but again, it's very trimmed down and every scene moves very quickly. It would be great in the future if it would become available in the original uncut version on DVD or a 2 or 3-set VHS version.

After reading all the comments about the newer Liam Neeson version, I'm not interested in seeing that one at all. Who cares about "action & special effects," when all you need is great writing and great actors to carry the movie? If action & special effects is what you're after, watch Die Hard or Terminator 2, not this.

Operation C.I.A. (1965)

Our Man in Saigon!

[16 April 2002]

Actually, this movie isn't half bad. It's good to see a young Burt Reynolds kicking butt in the orient and making it with the cute Asian chicks. Definitely has that early-to-mid 60s feel, music and all. I recently purchased a very hard to find VHS copy of this movie from a collector, and I'm not gonna get rid of it! Operation CIA is one of them flicks to just kick off your shoes and sit back and relax. Worth checking out....

Jack and the Beanstalk (1974)

After all these years....finally!

[9 April 2002]

First saw this at the theater with a friend when I was like 12 yrs old or so, and for some reason it always stuck with me. The tune "No One's Happier than I" has also stuck with me all these years (over 25 years later), and I finally obtained a copy (a MINT copy!) for $25.00. Now I watch it with my kids, but beware -- there are many versions of "Jack & the Beanstalk" for sale. Just look down the list of the ones with the highest price tag....you can almost always be sure it's the Japanese (this) version.

Joe Dirt (2001)

Stupid can be funny sometimes

[3 February 2002]

This is one of them stupid movies that actually works, and makes you laugh. Actually funnier than Jim Carrey's movies in my opinion, without getting half as obscene (or using shock humor) to try to get a laugh. The story, though nonsense, works mainly because of the direction, the actors (and there are several big names, surprisingly), and the writing. Not a chick flick, but good ol' guy humor....

The Mexican (2001)

Don't waste your time...

[3 December 2001]

2 words describe this movie -- El Stinko. The director's (Verbinski's) vision and direction of this movie is so unto himself, that he doesn't take into consideration that hardly anyone else will catch on to his goofball perspective (or want to), and lose interest after a short time -- and that's not good....

The Longest Yard (1974)

Has aged well after 25+ years

[13 February 2001]

After seeing this flick again last year after I don't know how long, at first I wondered why I used to really like this film. But after watching the whole thing to the end, I remember why. This is one of those films that generated a whole bunch of "copy-cat" movies, none which are even worth remembering (or seeing). Sure, it's a macho-man movie, but it works, and to see the talent (both actors and ex-pro ball players) on the screen, this is a movie you can watch over and over. By the way, it was refreshing to see the widescreen DVD version which was just released.

Under Suspicion (2000)

Good rental

[8 February 2001]

Good film to just sit back and veg out on. Don't want to get too distracted from this one - just put your attention on Hackman and Freeman, and let them do their stuff. You can tell they're enjoying themselves in this film, too. Good rental movie.