jetgraphics Reviews

Birds of Prey (2020)

Was vulgarity really necessary?

[3/10 · 4 May 2024]

I enjoyed the color, confusion, and chaotic pace. It was interesting -not unlike a DC comic- lacking long story arcs and character development.

However, the continual use of vulgar language became boring. It was like watching prepubescent children daring to talk dirty when parents weren't around to scold them.

Frankly, it's poor writing.

This audience didn't appreciate it. And it certainly didn't WOW audiences in North Am. And I bet if it was well written without using vulgarity, it would have made far more money.

Of course, the jump cuts, shaky cam, and overall unintelligible dialog didn't help. Had to turn on subtitles to catch much of it. Sure I could be going deaf, but I have no trouble with dialog in "old timer" movies, action or otherwise.

Sadly, "modern" mass media has embraced crapola in the vain attempt to squeeze out every bit of moolah. Does anyone try to make a product that would be remembered as quality from 500 years hence? Definitely not going to be the "Shakespeare" of this generation.

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

Bad music -and- Shaky Cam

[1/10 · 27 December 2022]

SHAKE, WOBBLE & WOE Regardless of the scenario, the camera / director resorts to shake, wobble, jumpy, and unwatchable nauseating photography. I find it too unpleasant and fast forward past them. Why bother with choreographing fight scenes that you cannot watch?

I sincerely wish that every director / camera man who resorts to shaky cam, has someone hold him by his ears, and vigorously shakes his head in sync. If he truly enjoys the experience, then perhaps, we can hold him innocent for his video vandalism.

Perhaps if you only watch movies on a tiny iPhone screen, it's tolerable. But it's horrid on any other sized screen.

Wholly unwatchable. . . I mean, turn away, can't look at the garbage kind of unwatchable.

Whoever is teaching the vidiots to take HDTV and make it into ugly radio should be fired.

Wobble Cam, Shaky Cam, Jumpy Cam, oh my !

In this age of digital perfection (sarcasm flag off), what possesses the minds of directors and cameramen to think that WOBBLY images are entertaining? Please, please, please STOP IT. I am being forced to watch pre-1970 entertainment.

HELP.

Oh, and let's not forget the gawful soundtrack during "fighting bullets". I literally turned off the sound - and it improved the experience !

(I am not against "metal" in general - it was fine in MegaMind. But for this movie, it was painfully bad.)

Mechanic: Resurrection (2016)

Unwatchable shaky cam

[1/10 · 27 December 2022]

The opening sequence was a nice tasteful shot of Rio De Janiero. . . Then it became unwatchable shaky cam fight sequence. That was enough. I shut it off.

I cannot abide video vandalism and ugly radio.

SHAKE, WOBBLE & WOE Regardless of the scenario, the camera / director resorts to shake, wobble, jumpy, and unwatchable nauseating photography. I find it too unpleasant and usually fast forward past them. Why bother with choreographing fight scenes that you cannot watch?

I sincerely wish that every director / camera man who resorts to shaky cam, has someone hold him by his ears, and vigorously shakes his head in sync. If he truly enjoys the experience, then perhaps, we can hold him innocent for his video vandalism.

Perhaps if you only watch movies on a tiny iPhone screen, it's tolerable. But it's horrid on any other sized screen.

. . . . . Wholly unwatchable. . . I mean, turn away, can't look at the garbage kind of unwatchable.

Whoever is teaching the vidiots to take HDTV quality programming and make it into ugly radio should be fired.

Wobble Cam, Shaky Cam, Jumpy Cam, oh my !

In this age of digital perfection (sarcasm flag off), what possesses the minds of directors and cameramen to think that WOBBLY images are entertaining? Please, please, please STOP IT. I am being forced to watch pre-1970 entertainment.

HELP.

Bullet Train (2022)

I'm not sure, but it almost rates a single star

[2/10 · 24 October 2022]

I tried to like it - really. But the sound track / dialogue almost always needed subtitles (not counting the foreign language segments). What ever happened to clearly recorded dialogue? Yeah, I'm getting old, but I double checked by watching an older movie from the 1970s and 1980s, and the dialogue recording was clear and intelligible.

It was almost as bad as Jupiter Ascending. . . Another movie with mumbles, poor diction, and hard to hear - needing subtitles, fir shir.

The action scenes were also horridly photographed, with plenty of shaky cam, jump cuts, jerky cam, and let's not forget lens flare. EEK. What more can they do to ruin it? Oh, right - toss in endless vulgarities.

NOT ENTERTAINING.

Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)

This is NOT entertaining,,,totally

[1/10 · 8 October 2022]

Total lack of continuity with the other films. Totally boring. Totally insipid. Totally. Waste of time. After 51 minutes, I bailed. Whatever happened to story telling, character development, and the general sweetness of the Despicable Me movies? Totally gone.

The only funny sequence was with the jet airliner. That's a sad commentary on the movie. Action without meaning. Behavior that was out of character. Whoever is responsible for this dreck should be limited to a coloring book and a box of crayons. A waste of time, money and talent on gawful grot . . . But I repeat myself. Reading the instructions on a tube of toothpaste is more entertaining.

Cirque du Soleil: Delirium (2008)

Shaky cam, jump cuts, jitter, oh my

[2/10 · 12 September 2022]

Following in the worst tradition of modern cinema, the director takes apart an artistic performance and chops it into video vandalism. . . 3 second nibbles . . . Impossible to enjoy the artists and actors.

One can only warn others to avert their eyes, and seek other entertainment.

Of course, if one likes to watch with a vibrator attached to their skull, this will be quite entertaining.

It's a disservice to the acts and all their hard work, to have it rendered into unappetizing glop.

If they tried watching their works on a nice, big, bright 8 foot wide video projection screen, they would be aghast at how BAD their visuals are.

GET A TRIPOD!

--- --- --- I. Hate. Shaky. Cam. Don't encourage the industry. But don't just shun the movies - that won't register. Go to the theater. When you see SHAKY CAM in the theater, walk out, DEMAND A REFUND. If enough people do that, it will send a clear message to Hollywood blockheads.

--- --- --- ---

Greenland (2020)

Shake shake shake

[1/10 · 4 July 2022]

Another movie ruined by shaky cam.

Unwatchable - even when ffwd.

GET A TRIPOD.

When will directors get the message that a jerky image is horrible?

It is boring, annoying, and simply miserable.

The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)

Video Vandalism

[2/10 · 20 May 2022]

Another decent movie ruined by shaky cam . . . What is wrong with these movie makers?

There is nothing appealing about wobbly, shaky, jumpy imagery. It's UGLY RADIO.

Get a tripod, dudes.

Mortal Engines (2018)

Shake, Battle and Roll

[1/10 · 13 May 2022]

Interesting premise, lousy shaky cam.

I had to shut it off - I cannot abide skaky cam / jump cuts / ugly radio.

In this age of enhanced resolution, directors are making ever uglier fight scenes.

Video vandalism is not entertainment.

The Batman (2022)

Demand a refund !

[5/10 · 18 April 2022]

Yes, it's that bad. And if you're going to leave - demand a ticket refund. That's the only way an audience can fight back against whollyweird.

This excremental exhibition of bad writing, acting, and effects, has nothing in common with the comic book Batman.

Batmanuel is a better Batman than this drecklich.

Peacemaker is a better Batman.

Camina Drummer is a better Batman.

RoboCop (2014)

ANOTHER shaky cam fiasco

[1/10 · 30 March 2022]

Why do modern CGI rich movies keep ruining them with shaky cam / jump cuts? Making ugly radio is not entertaining. I cannot abide it, and skip past those parts. In fact, this movie was only watchable for 7 minutes total.

At least the original was less nauseating.

Peacemaker (2022– )

Disgusting, funny, ugly radio shaky cam... meh

[8/10 · 20 January 2022]

It did make me laugh a few times. That's good. It made me cringe. Not so good. Don't care for any of the obnoxious characters. Really not good. And the "action" scenes are ugly radio - as in unwatchable shaky cam / jump cuts. Definitely pass.

I want to be entertained, and this is not entertaining.

Mr Gunn - stop the unwatchable shaky cam and drop the vulgarity - it's boring.

A Yeti Adventure (2017)

It's -well- different

[8/10 · 18 January 2022]

Let's get it out - it's not MCU, DC, PIXAR or any other Attention deficit disorder production, filled with shaky cam, jump cuts, explosions, P. C. or Woke characters, desperately trying to mimic the last blockbuster that attracted the attention of the muggles.

So if you don't like this - congrats - you're one of those muggles for whom Wholly Weird, et al, make ugly radio.

I'm reminded of the snark, "It's French, don't try to explain it..." No bombastic eye tearing state of the art CGI - just a story. A story with a humble moral : don't jump to conclusions before you get to the end of the story.

It's not "Fantastic Planet" - but it has its own internal logic. I rather enjoyed it, and that's all one can expect - entertainment.

Eternals (2021)

Another Snore Fest

[1/10 · 12 January 2022]

I was watching this on a streaming service, and fell asleep. Literally.

Nothing good could be said about this other than as a cure for insomnia.

Lifeless characters - no one to identify with - unless you're a hidden demigod.

Ugly radio (aka "shaky cam" & "wobble cam" ).

MCU should stick this behind "the Inhumans" and bury them both.

The Witcher (2019– )

Vulgarity is not art

[2/10 · 28 December 2021]

The writer(s) of this sewage have no art nor skill, beyond toilet humor and vulgarity. Continuous foul and vulgar language that is out of place ruins the "magic." Sadly, actors have to mouth the sewage written for them.

Desperately trying to manufacture wonder, instead one wonders how much longer will this be funded?

I doubt it will be renewed.

I am not entertained. And I suspect that more and more will walk away - nay - run away from this ... travesty.

Hawkeye (2021)

Another unwatchable shaky cam / jump cut / mess

[1/10 · 6 December 2021]

Get a tripod, guys.

Stop ruining good stories with unwatchable, annoying and disruptive "action" scenes.

I watch shows to be entertained - not annoyed. This one is not the former.

Taken (I) (2008)

Unwatchable Shakey Shake

[1/10 · 1 November 2021]

Regardless of the scenario, the camera / director resorts to shake, wobble, jumpy, and unwatchable nauseating photography. I find it too unpleasant and fast forward past them. Why bother with choreographing fight scenes that you cannot watch?

I sincerely wish that every director / camera man who resorts to shaky cam, has someone hold him by his ears, and vigorously shakes his head in sync. If he truly enjoys the experience, then perhaps, we can hold him innocent for his video vandalism.

Perhaps if you only watch movies on a tiny iPhone screen, it's tolerable. But it's horrid on any other sized screen.

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)

Shaky Cam Dreck

[1/10 · 21 October 2021]

This movie reeks of nauseatingly bad direction and camera work. Shake shake shake and you now know the whole movie.

Someday, I wish directors would have someone grab them by their ears and shake their heads whenever the urge for shakycam shows up. I think they'd learn that it's not good cinema.

Willow (1988)

A good effort ruined by shaky cam

[5/10 · 13 October 2021]

My usual gripe about shaky cam action sequences still hold true as they mar this decent attempt at world creating.

Good points for cultural backstory for the little people.

But for some reason, the movie doesn't quite gel. I've seen better, done with far smaller budgets, such as "The History of Future Folk." That movie just clicks along, with endearing scenes juxtaposed with utter strangeness - like a "torture" scene via banjo medley.

Lucas and Howard have the big bucks and technicians, but the story makes no sense, when you stop and think. How does an infant threaten a powerful wizard? And it really doesn't matter, in the end.

At times it feels like a documentary, lacking dramatic emphasis. A good example is the sword play. That should be ... theatrical. I compare it with such swordplay in "The Adventures of Robin Hood," and it is so flat in comparison. You don't care when the bad guys are getting beaten. Or when the good guys . . . Oh well. . . Won't spoil it.

Ironically, Kilmer and Whalley had some real "chemistry" that resulted in a marriage, but it didn't show in the film. Sometimes it does show up, like Tony Curtis, in "Taras Bulba." He fell for his co-star and later wed her (after divorcing his wife).

Someone once pointed out that the "best" movies allow us to vicariously experience being the unlikely hero, or successful suitor, or survivor of a catastrophe. I just didn't identify with any of the characters, and that's probably the reason.

Eagle Eye (2008)

Tired cliches

[1/10 · 1 October 2021]

Generic bad pooter + shaky cam car chases + more shaky cam axshun = waste of time.

This plot has been reused multiple times.

ADD afflicted will LUV this.

The rest should just pass.

The Green Knight (2021)

Mumbly mumble mumble

[1/10 · 24 August 2021]

When you need subtitles to watch a movie, it's a waste of time... my time.

Snake Eyes (2021)

Shaky Cam - meh

[1/10 · 24 August 2021]

I stopped watching at the first shaky cam fight.

This is nauseating - not entertaining.

I won't waste my time with such dreck.

You shouldn't either.

Aquaman (2018)

Don't believe the fanboys - this reeks

[1/10 · 24 May 2020]

I have never seen a worse movie than this - wait, no. I did watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. And Battlefield Earth. But I digress. Whoever wrote and directed this {expletives deleted} {rude nouns excised} should never be allowed to soil a studio with their presence ever again. And I was once a fan of the DC Aquaman, back in the 1960s. This dreck is a rip off of the name. I hope the actors can recover their dignity after performing in this misbegotten heap of perfidy aimed at robbing an audience of their money and time.

Jack Ryan (2018–2023)

Foul language - fowl show

[1/10 · 4 February 2019]

Pure unadulterated propaganda dreck. Probably funded by certain unmentionable zealots who should not be castigated for 1400 years of murder and mayhem. Meh. This is an affront to taste, good or bad.

Inhumans (2017)

Unwatchable Dreck

[1/10 · 6 October 2017]

Curiosity led me to watch. Annoyance led me to pause, several times. (shaky cam, unwatchable "action" scenes, basic ugly radio). I was a fan back in the 1960s, reading Fantastic Four. It was very pleasant to see depictions, though the story may differ from the original. But the characters followed the main framework, and I could easily ignore the changes.

BUT when action scenes are unwatchable jerky cam / shaky cam / jump cut video vandalism, that tears it for me.

I will not waste my time being ANNOYED instead of being ENTERTAINED.

Deleted from my PVR, sayonara.

GET A TRIPOD and use it.