craymond Reviews

August Rush (2007)

Music to my ears...and eyes

[8/10 · 29 November 2007]

Okay, I'll grant that August Rush is derivative--the plot resembles Oliver Twist (the Dickens characters Fagin and the Artful Dodger are easy to pick out), and its tear-jerking finish is entirely predictable. Perhaps because it wasn't marketed as fantasy, some critics went in expecting to see a drama about an orphan genius in search of his parents. What they got was a long chain of fairy tale coincidences that makes Enchanted seem logical. No, it's not perfect. Keri Russel--the wonderful star of 'Waitress'--is beautiful as the boy's mother, but a little too compliant to her domineering father. Freddie Highmore is almost too cute (but still you have to love him). Jonathan Rhys Meyers is a good singer, but not great. But who cares? The whole point of August Rush is to celebrate imagination and communicate to the audience a passionate love of music. I can only pity those who don't love this movie. Sadly, they just can't hear the music.

Waitress (2007)

Kick In The Pants Pie

[8/10 · 8 June 2007]

Girls, this is a hoot of a chick flick, but you can tell your guys not to worry. As I told my wife, the main character's (Keri Russell's) husband is such a slob he makes me look like Prince Charming. And what a treat to see Andy Griffith again! We saw "Knocked Up" last week, and it was okay I suppose--except for Hollywood's insatiable love of the f* word. The contrast with Waitress is instructive. Knocked Up is the unlikely story about the out-of-wedlock impregnation of a gorgeous blond TV personality by a drugged-up loser. The pregnancy in Waitress is within a marriage, but she despises her husband. One really great thing about both movies is that abortion is never seriously considered as an option. Waitress is a hundred times better, though it probably won't make a fraction of the box office. That's a shame, because this is good stuff. But there's an even sadder note. After the movie I learned that Adrienne Shelley--who wrote, directed and acted (beautifully) in Waitress--was murdered last November...by an illegal immigrant who said he "was having a bad day." What a waste.

The History Boys (2006)

disgusting and manipulative

[1/10 · 20 May 2007]

Okay, I clicked the "contains spoiler" box. God, I hope so. As a big fan of "Mr. Holland's Opus", I was sort of expecting another uplifting movie about the incredible rewards of teaching. After 30 minutes I was only a little annoyed that the "best" teacher enjoyed fondling the genitals of any student he could persuade to ride with him on his motorbike. It was all harmless, of course....he said so himself, after all! The idiot headmaster, naturally, just wasn't enlightened enough to understand that these brilliant high-school students were mature enough to decide for themselves if a 60-year-old homosexual teacher was out-of-bounds. I'm beginning to understand better why there's so much outrage whenever a female teacher has sex with a male student. A male teacher wouldn't excite nearly as much hysteria (unless he was a priest, of course). I waited as long as I could for one of the students to contract AIDS, but finally gave up after wasting about 90 minutes of my life. Somehow I suspect that scene never made it into this disgusting and manipulative movie.

300 (2006)

Synopsis: Freedom isn't free

[8/10 · 16 March 2007]

First surprise: My wife talked me into seeing "300". I really couldn't understand why she was so interested in a gory comic book version of one of history's great battles. Our 17-year-old son even tried to talk her out of it. Second surprise: We actually enjoyed the movie! Yes, it's extremely violent, but after Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypto, Pan's Labytinth, and the evening news I suppose we're getting used to such things. And the look of the film is just detached enough from reality that its shock value is somewhat reduced. And boy is it gorgeous! I love stories of courage and honor, and this one has it in spades. Plus it doesn't pull any punches. The timing of its release--just as the Democratic Congress is trying to force trough a 'non-binding' resolution to cut-and-run from Iraq--just can't be a coincidence. As for the corrupt Spartan politician who stopped reinforcements from reaching Leonidas, I wonder which political party he would belong to if he were alive today.

Love's Abiding Joy (2006)

Christian tear-jerker

[4/10 · 13 October 2006]

As a Southern Baptist, it pains me that I must give a below average rating to an overtly Christian movie. There certainly aren't so many that I want to discourage film-makers from a genre that's woefully under-exploited. Still, I must honestly say that "Love's Abiding Joy" is a typically low budget, low key, self-consciously Christian film. The plot is predictable, the acting mediocre (I'm being kind), and the editing atrocious. As a TV movie it might have been slightly above average, but as a feature film it leaves much to be desired. Keep trying guys. You've got to have a movie about about real Christians inside you somewhere. Might I suggest you turn to G. K. Chesterton or C. S. Lewis for some inspiration?

United 93 (2006)

Grim but useful reminder of an awful day

[7/10 · 2 May 2006]

United 93 definitely brings back the emotions of 9/11--possibly even more so because at the time there was so much confusion that no one could be sure what was happening. Now that I know what happened, and even though there's no real suspense in the movie, my stomach was tied in knots for almost two hours. The confusion of the day, for almost everyone involved, comes through clearly. There is an implied--and often explicit--criticism of the government response to the day's events, particularly the FAA and the military, as if they should have been immune to the confusion surrounding such an unprecedented attack. Don't get me wrong--this is no Michael Moore type slander, and probably most of the criticism is deserved. But I can't help but remember watching John Ford's "Battle of Midway", filmed in June 1942 during the darkest days of World War II. I was probably 11 years old in about 1960 when I saw it, and I still remember the pride I felt in our Marines as they defended that tiny island, even though they ultimately were overwhelmed. Lots of mistakes were made then, too, but we had a war to win; it was not a time for pointing fingers. Maybe United 93 would have been as inspiring, if John Ford had made it. As it is, the movie is a grim, but useful, reminder of an awful day. I just wish it had been more than that.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)

Mexicans good, Border Patrol bad

[6/10 · 15 March 2006]

There's probably some truth in this story of how badly many honest and hard-working illegal aliens are treated by the U.S. Border Patrol. Not that you'd know it from this movie, though, there are also--probably--a lot of honest, hard-working border patrol agents who every day have to deal with some not-very-nice people trying to enter this country illegally. Still, I did actually enjoy "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada". Just as the Hollywood writers intended, I liked the old cowboy, despised the despicable young agent, laughed at Sheriff Yoakum, empathized with the blind man, and was revulsed by the stiff. The pro-"illegal alien" viewpoint was relentless but much funnier and more subtly done than "A Day Without a Mexican." There is, of course, only one viewpoint that counts in Hollywood. Some day I hope to see a movie that actually recognizes the humanity on both sides of this complex problem.

Alexander (2004)

Awful. Just awful.

[1/10 · 27 November 2004]

Every time I see an Oliver Stone movie I remember why I promised myself the last time that I'd never see another one. This time it's guaranteed; I'd have to be suffering from Alzheimer's to break that promise again.

The confusion starts with the opening scene: Someone is lying on a bed, dying, and a large ring falls from his (her?) hand. Somehow I got the idea it was Alexander's mother dying in childbirth, but then the scene jumps forward 40 years, to Anthony Hopkins as he describes Alexander's campaigns to a scribe. We don't discover until the end of the film that the opening scene was of Alexander's death. A little while later Alexander has a fight with his father the king, and then suddenly we see King Alexander leading 40,000 into battle. How his father died is not mentioned until a scene that explains it is suddenly just inserted--again, for no apparent reason, near the end of the film.

Not that it mattered; by that time I was so thoroughly disgusted with the sequencing and the girly men and the gratuitous homosexuality and red filtered battle scenes and silly snake symbolism that I could have cared less.

My wife was ready to leave about half way through this ridiculously long, self-indulgent mess. One of these days I'm going to wise up and start listening to her. Do yourself a favor and learn from my mistake.

Whale Rider (2002)

Well made fairy tale for feminists and tree huggers.

[6/10 · 26 November 2003]

This is a nicely made fairy tale for feminists and tree huggers. There is not much else to say.

About Schmidt (2002)

What's the antonym for 'uplifiting'? How About Schmidt.

[2/10 · 17 June 2003]

Good movies and books manage to find something, anything, to admire in their main characters. Not About Schmidt, though, unless your own life is so bland that the humdrum day-to-day problems of a boring, self-centered insurance actuary are exciting by comparison. This movie manages to depress in more ways than I want to remember, so I'll just stop here...and hopefully forget it that much sooner.