Shub-Niggurath Reviews

The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (1980)

The Wolves Might Actually Enjoy It

[12 April 2002]

Jeez... come on, you guys! Whew!

This movie's always been a childhood favorite. And what about Helen Mirren? Or about that crazy plant getting shot? That always freaked me out! That little gasp, and then it starts dying...? Or how about that mechanical spider? Those electric shocks Fu Manchu had to do? And the end! You don't see sort of win/lose endings like that.

No, this movie's always had a special place in my heart. Mainly, it's a film best approached with a childlike perspective. No, it's not a Great Film, nor Masterpiece Cinema, but there is something about it....

Killer Tongue (1996)

Meanwhile... Killer Tongue!

[8/10 · 23 October 2001]

I've recently discovered this movie, and you might say I've been catapulted into a miniature cult status with it!

I'm just amending my previous comment by saying; Killer Tongue is a film that has great unpredictable flair (I keep saying; "Meanwhile..." after scene changes with a lopsided grin), and reminiscent of many other filmmaker's early work, while they still have that restless vitality that comes without the jaded, cynical nature of experience. It's actually precisley something in that nature, something "funky", which I think a lot of big-budget movies have lost. Many of Mario Bava's movies have that great taste of whimsical flair, not the least of which is Danger: Diabolik or even Twitch of the Death Nerve. Some foreign films can really be found to deliver some spice!

Also, the Tongue itself is uncredited, isn't it? For a while, I thought it was Charlie Adler, voice of Ickis from Real Monsters, friends of mine joke its Harvey Fierstein, but I doubt that pretty well. Well, good luck out there, there's much I could say about the childlike nature that is tapped by any monster movie femme fatale, and the self-deprecating nature of the movie, but suffice it to say I've got the CD soundtrack, and I'm hunting down the DVD.

Killer Tongue (1996)

Cultish, Whimsical Horror

[8/10 · 22 October 2001]

A wacky saga for those fans of early Sam Raimi/Coen brothers movies, this movie has a great blend of rollicking humor and horror! The makeup effects are terrific on such a low budget, and the acting is zealous! Overall, the film has that flavor of late-night cable movies that can damage you in your formative years!

It's quite a cast, with Mapi Galan, from "The City of Lost Children" and numerous other Spanish films, as well as Freddie and Pinhead, and even a cast member from "Straight to Hell"!

Mind you, if you're here at Killer Tongue, you're a fan of the genre (or at least of those bizarre independent flicks that bring a smile to your face), and can appreciate the movie on those grounds.

Beware, while having a strange, childlike nature, it's most certainly not Disney, and not for children (or for most grown-ups). However, if you like movies that appeal to your sense of absurdity like "Liquid Sky", "Greaser's Palace", "An American Werewolf in London", or the LEXX series, then rent this if you can find it. It's one of those obscure flicks that puts a smile on your face.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

"Remember, Lara; you must... [indistinct] and always... [indistinct] ...do you understand? Good, now... [indistinct]"

[4 October 2001]

You might call me a fan of the EIDOS PSX series. Having played and finished the first four games (while not perhaps liking them all, I figured I paid for them, I may as well finish them), I had to go and see the Hollywood Movie upon its release.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is your basic sort of strut&poise action flick, which differs from the games in the most major way in that Lara is surrounded by people most of the time in the film, whereas in the game, she is usually completely ALONE. That Aspect Of Solitude gave the games a flavor of absurdity, like, "What would such a hot young thing be doing all alone in such a place?" And; "How many times can she keep trying to grab on a ledge and keep missing?"

I'm certain it would have caused an uproar, but it would have magnified the quality of this movie untold amounts if she had missed ONE jump and splashed into the water!

In Hollywood films such as these, moments of quirkiness are exceptionally rare, and I always have contests with myself to see what brief moments of quirkiness that the latest big-budget Hollywood spectacle has to offer.

Curiously enough, there isn't really THAT MUCH Tomb-Raiding in the movie, one puzzle is soon solved, and there's a pendulum ride, but the Harryhausen-inspired attack scene is a lot of fun. Perhaps the best sequence in the movie. The robot was too reminiscent of "Lost in Space".

Jon Voight's role was indeed two-sided. Yes, he's Angelina's real father, and yes, his part inspires the title for this review. It may have been hastily underwritten. In any case, I appreciated his inclusion, yet it seemed weak.

I expected more out of my movie, I always joke, "It should have been more like Castaway!" But not a lot of people liked Castaway, so --

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

"We want... two LARGE glasses of lemonade!"

[10/10 · 14 December 2000]

There is actually a great deal of humor in this film, and great moments of Truth. It is one of those few films that is an Absolute Classic. Long as it might be, there's no fat here, and and is easily in league with the other giants of cinema; Seven Samurai, The Godfather, etc.

I prefer this film over Dr. Zhivago, that type of melodrama is absent from this film as we watch Lawrence unfold. There's a lot of quotable material in this movie too, Auda Abu Tayi's character has many great moments and the screenplay by Robert Bolt is one that can be studied for years to come, while remaining very accessible.

There's really just too much to go into here in these little columns, we got armies and armies, train wrecks, obsession, imperfection, a ton of Arabs with camels, even a couple strafing biplanes! Not to mention Alec Guiness, and in essence a "Birth of a Nation" story.

This is a film along the likes of classic literature: having this volume of film on your shelves is akin to Hemingway, Tolstoy, Dickens, or, you know, whatever you might like to see in a big, dusty, hardbound book on the shelf in some spooky library.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

It's not that good, but it's not that bad

[6/10 · 8 December 2000]

I read the original novel by L. Ron Hubbard when it first hit the shelves, even then it had that little sticker saying; "soon to be a major motion picture."

The movie is about half of the book, and I don't remember such a big deal being made out of the completely functional Harriers (seriously - what do we have today that old that's not in ruins?), Terl's obsession with gold, the loss of his arm and the bulletproof nature of all the humans. (I think only one man is shot during the movie Battlefield Earth)

John Travolta did steal the show, but with bureaucratic humor, like the Psychlos represent backstabbing corporate drogues. The last half, the actual battlefield material, is very disappointing. The human vs. Psychlo scenes are more like Weird Al's parody of Rambo in UHF!

Barry Pepper (as if returning as Jackson from SPR), has a huge amount of energy as Johnny the hero, but somehow he wasn't as likeable as Travolta's Terl. "Listen up, Rat-Brain!" I liked this movie because of the humor and the absurdity of the Psychlos.

Lost Highway (1997)

To Perceive Is To Filter

[8/10 · 5 December 2000]

A terrific new masterwork from David Lynch! Perhaps his best film since Blue Velvet, Lynch gives us now the 90's take on urban alienation. True, it isn't a film for everyone, and The Straight Story is more accessible, but Lost Highway is Classic Lynch. At its core is this idea; even if we had the chance to do it all over again, we'd probably do it the exact same way. With the white-faced Robert Blake, Lost Highway becomes a sort of urban Seventh Seal...! There is actually a lot of humor in the movie too, and I highly recommend this film for serious fans of quirky avant-garde!

Blade Runner (1982)

Flawed Divinity

[9/10 · 5 December 2000]

I remember seeing this film as a child, and simply being in awe. For years, I imagined how it might be seeing it in the theater again. And then the Director's Cut appears! The condition of Blade Runner is indeed now like a polluted beach: It's still a classic, and it's still a great film, but the years of trampling and seemingly endless revisions have left its reputation looking like the moons surface! It's best left to recover for maybe another ten or twenty years, to be enjoyed and recognized for its contributions to the genre -- I remember standing in line for The Fifth Element at the Cinerama Dome on Sunset Boulevard and 1 out of every 5 drivers who stopped said: "It looks a lot like Blade Runner!" -- it has many subtle and classic moments worth treasuring, and it is a film that has had profound influence. Both versions of this film (the original and the director's cut) are important, and Blade Runner has redefined earth-bound SF as Star Wars has for space-bound SF.