johnny5alive Reviews

Andor (2022– )

Utterly boring

[7/10 · 22 September 2022]

First off.. This is not Star Wars. Does not feel like Star Wars in any way. It's boring. An incident (not an action sequence.. An incident) happens at the beginning then it's just people skulking about in back alleys being followed.

The security personnel are more interesting to watch than the main characters. And the droid must have sucked out everyone's charisma because only he has it.

Andor does something that he did in Rogue One and at this point I'm like, nah this guy is not likeable at all.

This show is just so boring I'm in shock. It has very few redeeming qualities. The droid is good to watch but isn't on screen much and the security guys are interesting. But that's it. I can't bring myself to waste more time on this one.

Halo (2022– )

Master Chief - Helmet carrier

[1/10 · 26 March 2022]

This show had me.. I was invested.. There are some cardinal rules you just don't break. Judge Dredd doesn't take his helmet off and neither does Master Chief. I kid you not, my immediate reaction was, 'Oh my god! Adam Sandler is Master Chief!!

Arcane (2021– )

Blown away!

[10/10 · 9 November 2021]

Ignore the fact this is based on a game. It's irrelevant, though there are Easter eggs for those that play LoG.

This show is amazing it really is. I challenge anyone to watch the first 5 minutes and not get hooked.

Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)

Fan of Kevin no more

[1/10 · 26 July 2021]

I have no words so this will be short. I've been following the creation of this show for some time now. I am, sorry 'was' a huge fan of Kevin Smith so there was little concern that this show would be nothing short of amazing. And the recent trailer showed as much. How wrong I was. How wrong we all were. We were lied to right from the start. Utter trash.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Very enjoyable. Take the low ratings with a pinch of salt

[16 March 2020]

I honestly find all the low rating reviews a hoot to read. Imagining all the keyboard warriors smacking their keyboards in frustration that the story wasn't told how THEY wanted it told.

It's an enjoyable film and ends the saga well in my opinion. Ignore the low reviews. If you enjoy Star Wars, you'll enjoy this.

Swamp Thing (2019)

Cancelled before it even got started

[6/10 · 11 October 2019]

I wouldn't invest your time on something that was abandoned before it even had a chance. Your time is more valuable than that. At least mine is.

Men in Black: International (2019)

Thoroughly enjoyable

[10/10 · 23 August 2019]

People are too critical these days. The film might not be original but it's fun and enjoyable.

Love, Death & Robots (2019– )

Incredible!

[10/10 · 16 March 2019]

I'm not one for reviews so this will be short and to the point. It's true what another reviewer said.. once you start watching you just can't stop! The only gripe is that each episode is very short and they leave you wanting more (it's an anthology series).

Do yourself a favour... Clear an afternoon and binge this amazing series (not for the kids!)

Captain Marvel (2019)

Rubbish. Put simply

[1/10 · 8 March 2019]

Even if you can look past the kind of person Brie Larson is and the drivel she spouts. This film is a true low point for the MCU

Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (1990)

This film knows exactly what it is..

[10/10 · 7 January 2019]

Yes it's silly, yes it's cheesy but it's a hell of a fun ride with some hilarious gags. The film doesn't try to be any else and it's just so watchable. It also has one if the catchiest theme tunes ever.

Doctor Who (2005–2022)

Season 11 review

[1/10 · 26 November 2018]

I'm saying nothing new here but I wanted to add my opinion anyway.. Season 11 is just PC rubbish. Firstly, I have nothing at all against a female doctor but she's brought nothing to the role. The supporting cast are weak and finally, the worst thing of all.. Lead writer Chibn.. Sorry I can't bring myself to type, say or think that name. What were the BBC thinking hiring that hack!! The few episodes that he's written in the past are considered to be the 'worst' .. Now he's got a whole season to butcher!

I hope to god he exits fast (hoping the rumours are true) and I HOPE the damage he's done is reversible!! I know people say Moffat lost his mojo towards the end but I'll always stick by the guy who brought us the Weeping Angels.

Another Time (2018)

How?

[2/10 · 14 September 2018]

How on earth did some of these (good) actors get roped into doing this rubbish?

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

A really fun ride. Ignore the average rating

[10/10 · 13 November 2017]

I think everyone agrees it's a visually stunning film so I won't go into that. But I'm seeing too many reviews bashing the two leads chemistry and/or lack of story. I disagree with this. The two leads are fine (not great) but they work. The story, while not original by any standards is still GOOD. The film might not be as good as The Fifth Element but it's still a fun ride and very entertaining. Ignore the bad reviews. Watch it

Time After Time (2017)

The 'time travel' makes no sense at all

[1/10 · 6 March 2017]

Spoilers ahead

I'm a big fan of time travel and one of my biggest gripes is when the said time travel makes no sense at all.

For example.. in the pilot The Ripper escapes in the time machine which DISAPPEARS from 1893. So we've established it does in fact disappear. So when it returns and HG uses it.. he and it end up in a museum. How is it there when it disappeared from 1893? Another 'makes no sense' plot hole... He takes the museum woman 3 days into the future to prove who he is. They see a paper with her death as a news story?!?! Howwww!?!?! Was a clone left behind when she got into the time machine? Or is it in fact a parallel universe machine? Another show that gives audiences no credit and treats us like idiots. Avoid this trash.