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Reviews
I Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)
The most pointless mood piece ever created.
If there was a movie that was meant to drain the life out of you and make you feel bad for watching it, THIS WOULD BE IT!!!! Never have I seen a movie that left me so pissed at myself for renting it.
What was that Ending? What about the dead rising after he took his 2 inch nibble off of them? What was with all the masturbation? Why was there millions of scenes of him on the floor wiggling around in pain? ( I mean we got the point after the 3rd time!!)What was that ending? How did nobody ever find out that he was dragging drugged people into his apartment that never left, and the smell of burning bodies eminateing from his back yard? What was that ending?
When you try to make a mood piece, which this most certainly was attempting to be with it's minimalist score and long brooding shots, you should at least have some sort of story or at least an interesting main character. This movie ranks up there with the Avengers on my worst ever list.
Hak hap (1996)
A ballet with fists and explosions.
Hak hap(Black Mask)is what I'd like to call a ballet with fists and explosions. Sure the plot has been tried and heard before, (A biologically engineered soldier that is part of a elite fighting force of supermen that decides he feels that killing and brute force aren't the ways to settle every thing and becomes a pacifist, and a librarian. But when he learns that the rest of his group is trying to get an antidote that will keep them alive by taking on the police -his best friend is a cop- he becomes the black mask.) the style that the movie goes for, very visual, works and at least for me is entertaining. I love martial arts movies that are a spectical. People flying around lighter than air and recovering a split second after impact keeps the pace and action non stop. But that is what this movie is about anyway right, a showcase of Jet Li doing what he does best, and that is spectacular showmanship of his skills, which to say the least are top notch. As with most of the fast action martial arts movies ala. Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung that are just now showing themselves here in the states for the first time, these movies are low on plot and high on amazing physical feats. But I must say, even with the large holes left in the plot (like how do we see him safe in his apartment when just one scene before he had 20 men that are no more than 15 feet from him with sign of escape? Who knows the scene just cuts to him in the apartment.......ohh well suspension of belief I guess) , the movie to me stays interesting. It is only until the last 20 minutes that the film seems to feel like it could have been a little shorter. But still all around a great high paced action movie.
Hexen bis aufs Blut gequält (1970)
A movie with promises that fall flat on their face.
As with every movie that I have come across that tags itself as the most terrifying movie ever made, Mark of the Devil is neither the most terrifying movie, nor terrifying at all. This movie gives you a look at the witch trials through the eyes of a town that is plagued with a rash of witch indictments that lead to subsequent tortures and executions. The main character is a apprentice witch finder that questions his career's worth after falling in love with a wrongfully accused witch.
The torture scenes, for which the movie is known for, are not all that. The movie almost makes you believe that the violence that is shown is for a cause, to show you how wrong and unjust it was. But when it comes down to it, the movie decides to go from a fairly entertaining and intriguing movie on the churches involvement in the trials, to a drab kill fest of a movie. And the kill fest is so littered with extra's that you don't see much of it. All though they don't shy away from themselves, they aren't the most gruesome and shock inducing scenes that i have ever seen (any of the Ilsa movies beat it out). Too serious to be considered cheesy and too satisfying to be worth your time.